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@morbiuswilters said:@bstorer said:@morbiuswilters said:There shall be no day devoted to harassing foreigners. As a good American, harassing foreigners is a full-time job and should be done at every possibility. Well my job in the salt mines hardly grants me many opportunities, and I feel the need to do my duty like any true American patriot.We'll have the State Doctors implant wireless Internet in your brain so you can troll European forums and HuffPo while still performing your primary duty of digging out the salt with your bare fingernails. Fingernails? Ha! The government removed those years ago to prevent me from hurting myself with them. How did you manage to survive the Gore years with them intact? Did you flee to Canada or the Rupublic of Texas like so many others?@morbiuswilters said:@bstorer said:@morbiuswilters said:We considered rolling the birthdays of Martin Luther King, Ronald Reagan, George Washington, Abraham Lincoln and Dick Cheney into a single "President's Day" to be celebrated on the first Monday of February, but Dick Cheney said he didn't want to share a day with those faggots. Well no wonder. MLK? Lincoln? Why don't you just ask him to share a holiday with Lenin and Trotsky?We did. He just growled and said "I'll fuck you up like I fucked up that faggot Kennedy!" and then took a nap.Oh, that's just a microcoma. He slips into those now and then to preserve himself while he draws energy from the suffering of others and uses it to force his body to continue to function through sheer force of will. His body is a long-dead puppet, with his malevolent spirit as a cruel puppetmaster. He then uses that borrowed time to cause more suffering, which he can then feed off of to continue existing. It's a shame the Nobel can't be awarded posthumously, because while he's technically dead, he still managed to invent a perpetual motion machine.@morbiuswilters said:Douglas MacArthur was a pussy poseur. Instead of fulfilling his Constitutional duty to initiate a coup against Truman, invade China and set off WWIII he deferred to civilian leadership. Jimmy Carter had bigger balls than that. Truman kept a spare nuclear bomb with him at all times, with a trigger attached to his heart that would detonate it if he was killed. MacArthur wasn't a pussy, but he was just a man. And that pipe of his only carried standard explosive rounds, which is like bringing a knife to a gunfight. MacArthur, ever the patriot, couldn't risk the destruction of the Constitution stored in the nearby National Archives. So he used his military cunning to distract Truman while Eisenhower grabbed the presidency. But MacArthur's life didn't end in vein; he held on long enough to
assassinate JFK on Dick Cheney's orders.Truman, though forced from office, still had that nuke, and now he threatened to use it against America's Heartland, which, as we all know, is where all the True Americans live. He used that threat to force Congress into passing Medicare, which immediately turned us all into socialists. Truman even had the temerity to make Johnson personally give the first Medicare cards to Truman and his wife. Eventually, he surrendered his bomb willingly to President Nixon in 1972. The standoff was legendary: Truman shouted threats and dared Nixon to act, but Nixon simply scowled at him until Truman broke down weeping and begged for forgiveness for supporting Adlai Stevenson. Nixon just turned away in disgust and left him sobbing on the floor. A minute after Nixon had left the room, G. Gordon Liddy smothered Truman with a pillow and America was safe once again. @morbiuswilters said:@bstorer said:On Gippermas of their tenth year they must cut off their own manhood, dedicating themselves to the only woman they shall ever need: Lady Liberty.Also known by her nom-de-plume Ann Coulter. Oh, Liberty, you saucy little minx. You're just asking for it in that black dress.