The official 2017 death pool
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My predictions of which celebrities will die this year:
- Bruce Forsyth: because seriously, how did he survive the 2016 cull?
- Queen Elizabeth II: she seems to be pretty ill and frail; I was half expecting her to be a final casualty of 2016
- Donald Trump: either from the stress of the job at his advanced age, or assassination
- Andy Kaufman: he'll be discovered alive and die a couple of weeks later
- Ben Stiller: because this seems really unlikely and if I predict it correctly I'll be able to claim I'm a psychic
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@Jaloopa *sweatdrop* #3 is a really bad thing to say in public, even as a joke.
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CDCK
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Hillary
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@Jaloopa I'll play!
I am not going to go with the Queen, I bet the old bat will hang on for another year. And it's not gonna be Trump, because liberals are too big pussies to actually assassinate him, and will instead just keep on whining on twitter.
My picks are:
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Arnold Schwarzenegger, all those steroids can't be good for you
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Vladimir Putin, he's getting a bit too reckless with his assassinations, someone will hit back
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Oprah Winfrey, she'll try to treat cancer or something with one of her quack remedies
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Mick Jagger, he already looks dead
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Ben Stiller, I'll second your pick. The cancer will come back, I SEE IT IN THE ORB
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@cartman82 said in The official 2017 death pool:
- Mick Jagger, he already looks dead
How is that any different this year, though? :P
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@cartman82 said in The official 2017 death pool:
Mick Jagger, he already looks dead
Mick Jagger has obviously got a deal with the grim Reaper. He will outlive the sun
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The biosphere.
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A small, off-duty Czechoslovakian traffic warden.
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Charlie Sheen
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My candidate for the death pool: Deadpool
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80s icons will suffer most.
- Harrison Ford -- Star Wars franchise not doing well
- Eddie Murphy -- He's like crazy now, right?
- One of the main characters of the Breakfast Club -- Tough but not as tough as Prince.
Hedging my bets:
- One of the Backstreet Boys -- what have they done lately?
- Miley Cyrus or one of the youngest Jenner girls -- they tend to make poor choices in life.
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https://reactive-drop-stats.appspot.com/
Probably like a million space aliens. At least.
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@ben_lubar said in The official 2017 death pool:
Probably like a million
spaceillegal aliens. At least.FTFDT
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@Jaloopa The reaper sometimes chooses to end those deals. See also: Dick Clark.
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10$ on Mikhail Gorbachev
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@RaceProUK your banana obsession is starting to get worrying...
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To continue offing canadians: Bryan Adams.
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@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The official 2017 death pool:
To continue offing canadians: Bryan Adams.
Only if both Celine Dion and Justin Bieber go too.
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@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
Only if both Celine Dion and Justin Bieber go too.
You are not allowed to facilitate their demise you cheater!
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@Luhmann Why would I need to cheat? Did you not see that monkey singing about how he'll murder Bieber? ;)
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@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
monkey singing about how he'll murder Bieber
Exactly, get your hand out of the monkey
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@Luhmann But my hand's not in the monkey, and nor are any of my paws.
Which begs the question: who's hand is it in the monkey?
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@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
@Luhmann But my hand's not in the monkey, and nor are any of my paws.
Which begs the question: who's hand is it in the monkey?
Incorrect use of "begs the question."
I know, I know...just wishcasting.
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@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
But my hand's not in the monkey, and nor are any of my paws.
You put your snout in there? You are a very, very dirty hedgehog
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@Luhmann I thought I smelled food...
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Betty White is 95 today. Statistically, she would seem like a good bet. Sadly, she probably won't get to run for office in 2020.
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@Jaloopa said in The official 2017 death pool:
Queen Elizabeth II: she seems to be pretty ill and frail; I was half expecting her to be a final casualty of 2016
I think Prince Phillip is more likely.
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@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The official 2017 death pool:
To continue offing canadians: Bryan Adams.
Oh, and William Shatner.
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Tokyo chef and Food Sake Tokyo author Yukari Sakamoto
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Larry King
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George Bush senior
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English entertainers seemed to be a favourite last year so I'm predicting Miriam Margolyes and/or Brian Blessed.
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Valentin Zinchenko, a dog walker in Kiev.
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A person named Gabe Newell who is not the person named Gabe Newell who works at Valve. Just so the obituary confuses everyone.
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@ben_lubar said in The official 2017 death pool:
A person named Gabe Newell who is not the person named Gabe Newell who works at Valve. Just so the obituary confuses everyone.
RIP Ashley Olsen
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This probably only means something to Brits, but posting anyway.
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@coldandtired said in The official 2017 death pool:
English entertainers seemed to be a favourite last year
So far this year, Geoff Nicholls, John Hurt, and Gordon Kaye.
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@Jaloopa Brucey is immortal.
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@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
But my hand's not in the monkey, and nor are any of my paws.
THEN WHO WAS HAND?
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Did anyone have Don Rickles?
“There's a real Italian; you can smell the oil right here,” he said on stage at the Stardust in Las Vegas in 2006 when he was 80. “There's a definite odor in this area. Like a Polack gone bad. ...
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@cartman82 said in The official 2017 death pool:
Vladimir Putin
This sort seems to have abnormal longevity. Remember that old fuckhead Fidel Castro? Or Pinochet?
Although when the dickhead Vladimir kicks the bucket, I'll go on a week-long vacation and imbibe obscenely. I wish it be in 2017.
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My personal pool of people not likely to make it to 2018:
- Mikhail Gorbachev
- Queen Elizabeth II
- Sergey Lavrov
- Harrison Ford
- John Goodenough
- Donald E. Knuth
- David Attenborough
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@Karla said in The official 2017 death pool:
Harrison Ford -- Star Wars franchise not doing well
Also, he is losing his skills as a pilot.
Once you start averaging one potentially fatal aviation incident per year, your time is almost up. Also, you should stop flying your own planes.
@Karla said in The official 2017 death pool:
Eddie Murphy -- He's like crazy now, right?
He was crazy in the 80's.
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@asdf said in The official 2017 death pool:
10$ on Mikhail Gorbachev
Wait...is that fucker still alive? I had assumed that Putin had killed him with a ceremonial dagger and eaten his heart or some crazy shit.
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@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
Only if both Celine Dion and Justin Bieber go too.
Please.
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@Luhmann said in The official 2017 death pool:
@RaceProUK said in The official 2017 death pool:
Only if both Celine Dion and Justin Bieber go too.
You are not allowed to facilitate their demise you cheater!
I think we should grant an exemption for these two edge cases.
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@wft said in The official 2017 death pool:
- David Attenborough
How can you even suggest such a thing?
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@CarrieVS said in The official 2017 death pool:
How can you even suggest such a thing?
He comes under the heading “Starting to expect, but absolutely not hope for…”
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@dkf Nonsense. He's immortal. He found some mysterious ancient fountain in the depths of a jungle somewhere, maybe.