@obeselymorbid According to my father, it's the other way around. Adm. Cole had a rule that all British navy ships needed to serve cabbage and mayo to the sailors every day. This came to be known as Cole's Law.
Best posts made by chozang
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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RE: The Official First World Problems Thread™
@anonymous234 said in The Official First World Problems Thread™:
I went to a job interview and actually got the job
now I have to work
You have my deepest sympathy.
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RE: Want to see Grumpy Cat (get shot in the head)
@xaade said:
I wish they'd use their already existing laws to stop extremist content before it can be recorded.
It's extremely difficult to definitively separate extremist speech and political speech.
The word "extremist" itself is already loaded. An extremely non-violent person is not the problem. The problem is "violentists".
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@chozang Did you watch the GIF to the end, where the stopper
?spoiler
doesn't hit anythingJust thought it was a pic. You young whipper-snappers, with your right-click and play .gifs.
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
@benjamin-hall said in 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD:
Beer smells like rotten bread dough
In prison, home-made wine (known as "jump-steady") is often made from bread dough. (I was a CO, not an inmate, FWIW.)
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RE: Re: RE: Re: re: Re: Hire me!
@accalia said in Re: RE: Re: re: Re: Hire me!:
If you are not capable of interprting the content as required by law, or if this post has been addressed
to you in error, please immediately alert the sender by phoning +1 (202) 324-3000 between the hours
of 0900 and 1600 Eastern Time. If you are not the intended reader, you are hereby notified that any
use, dissemination, copying, or storage of this post or its attachments is highly recommended.Now the FBI wants me to tell them everything I know about TDWTF.
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RE: Re: RE: Re: re: Re: Hire me!
@Tsaukpaetra said in Re: RE: Re: re: Re: Hire me!:
I've been told it was healthy to socialize with fellow entities....
Yes, but who was it who told you that? Fellow entities, right? Seems there's something circular about that.
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RE: Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition
@mott555 said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Are East Coast inspections as much of a joke as Midwest inspections? When I moved here I had to pay like a $25 fee for an inspection specifically for out-of-state vehicles trying to register in-state, at an office run by the county sheriff. I handed the guy a check and he handed me the slip I needed for the DMV. At no point did he actually inspect my vehicle.
In Maryland, you only need an inspection when buying a used car. I went to one place, paid $50 for an inspection. He gave me a list of $500 of repairs I would need to pass. I went to another place. He gave me a completely different $500 list of repairs I would need to pass.
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RE: In other news today...
@dkf said in In other news today...:
@sockpuppet7 said in In other news today...:
restricting their options it with stupid laws
You could also take the Polish approach, and define chicken, duck and fish to be vegetables.
Now I understand where Polish jokes came from.
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RE: The Unofficial Colin Furze Fan Thread
@rc4 said in The Unofficial Colin Furze Fan Thread:
That is not just any mushroom. That is fly amanita. You should not eat fly amanita when you're angry.
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RE: 😈 The Evil Ideas thread
@anonymous234 said in 😈 The Evil Ideas thread:
Looks like you bought this in the U.S.? If so, it is illegal. Apparently, no one has reported them to the FDA yet.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Pure evil:
Welcome to my life as a teacher. Watching kids take the longest possible route to doing something with a computer is actively painful. Heck, they're all active users of iPads (for school) and didn't know about the two-finger swipe trackpad that's been there since iOS 10.
Yay, Apple for usability and discoverability!
That's what people say. I had a Mac, but it didn't seem like the features were discoverable to me, so I went back to Windows and Linux.
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RE: In other news today...
@magus said in In other news today...:
@laoc Isn't the fan death thing normally about sleeping in a room with a running fan, and no windows open?
Thomas Merton died when a fan fell in his bathtub, but that's probably not what they meant.
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RE: The Official Good Ideas Thread™
Petroleum engineering would be the most effective.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@rhywden "In the west, Matryoshka dolls are often mistakenly[3] referred to as 'babushka dolls', babushka meaning 'grandmother' or 'old woman'."
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RE: The Word of the Day Thread
@boner said in The Word of the Day Thread:
"The name is from Serendip, an old name for Ceylon (modern Sri Lanka), from Arabic Sarandib, from Sanskrit Simhaladvipa 'Dwelling-Place-of-Lions Island.' "
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RE: The Word of the Day Thread
@boomzilla said in The Word of the Day Thread:
https://www.collinsdictionary.com/us/submission/3816/Autotonsorialist
Someone who cuts his or her own hair
I guess that ruins the old riddle: There is a town with only two barbers. One has badly cut hair, the other has perfectly cut hair. Which one do you go to?
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RE: The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®
@rhywden said in The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®:
@djls45 said in The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®:
@Rhywden That deserves capital punishment, not psychiatric "treatment."
It could have been prevented. That is what I'm saying. Did you ever work in a closed mental institution?
A good friend of mine does. Some of those people in there you do not want on the streets, unsupervised and unmedicated.
I worked on the locked psych ward of a hospital for a couple of years. I also worked for three years in the criminal justice system, first as a correctional officer in a maximum security prison, then as an addictions counselor on a pre-release unit. Many of the prisoners I would not want to see on the streets, either. But yet, they have not lost their rights apart from sentencing for crimes. People with "mental illness" are no different.
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RE: Dumb and Random Videos Thread
@pie_flavor said in Dumb and Random Videos Thread:
@chozang said in Dumb and Random Videos Thread:
@tsaukpaetra said in Dumb and Random Videos Thread:
@ben_lubar said in Dumb and Random Videos Thread:
I'm afraid I don't understand. Why is this discomforting?
I was wondering that myself, about all of them. I guess it's because they are all different than one's expectations.
You're responding to an 8-month-old post.
And your reply has 2 e's and 6 o's in it.
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RE: 😈 The Evil Ideas thread
@Tsaukpaetra said in 😈 The Evil Ideas thread:
@anonymous234 said in 😈 The Evil Ideas thread:
@Tsaukpaetra As a dad I'd prank that son by cutting his inheritance in half.
"WTF is 'inheritance'?"
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RE: The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®
@rhywden said in The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®:
@antiquarian Sorry, but anyone who thinks that some people shouldn't be treated against their will might want to talk to the widow whose son caved in his step-father's skull with an axe because he was hearing voices.
They also weren't able to get him committed before because "treatment has to be voluntary."
Strangely enough, now he's locked away.
There are far more accurate predictors of violence than hearing voices. I doubt that there's any statistical correlation between hearing voices and violence. It's just that it makes the news when it happens.
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RE: In other news today...
@boner said in In other news today...:
My favorite part is that he seems to be making a gesture we don't use too much in the U.S., where you slap one hand on the upraised bicep of the other arm.
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RE: Help forums
@loose said in Help forums:
Until you have been to a Perl "help" forum for something other than amusement and curiosity you have not suffered. 9 times out of 10 the first line in any response is along the lines of ...why would you want to do that...;
My pet hate.
*...if you are asking this question you are doing it wrong...
Especially ironic giving that the Perl motto is "There's more than one way to do it."
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RE: Feature request: notifications for downvotes
@pie_flavor said in Feature request: notifications for downvotes:
@chozang said in Feature request: notifications for downvotes:
I'd just as soon not have notification of down-votes.
Thing is, you have per-action settings for what you get notifications for. So even if you don't want it, others might, and all that has to be done for that to work is to make sure upvotes and downvotes are separate settings.
I think it should be opt-in, rather than opt-out.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@scholrlea said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@chozang No, that's how many were willing to admit it.
We have 21 candidates for re-education. No true Party member would be able to figure it out.
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RE: In other news today...
@PleegWat said in In other news today...:
@chozang said in In other news today...:
When I was a correctional officer, every few months the schedules were such that all of the officers were present on a day. On that day, we would systematically shake down the prison, or as much of it as we had time for. All of the inmates were locked in their cells until the shake-down team got to their cell. A team was shaking down one tier systematically. So it was not a surprise - everyone except for the first cell could see the progress of the team. They got to one guy's cell and he had a barrel full of jumpsteady (homemade prison wine). So this guy had at least an hour to flush his barrel in order to avoid certain lockup. But he just couldn't bear to do it.
Of course the real question is, did the illegal booze get flushed?
Yes, not much concern about that. Though there were some alcoholic officers, they could afford to buy the factory-made stuff.
Though I did have an officer say to me that if he ever found some cocaine, he would only turn in about 1/4 of it. This guy was big enough (built like The Rock) to shake down cells and even the annex room by himself, so he could do it without other officers witnessing it if the opportunity ever arose.
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RE: The people calling me on the phone must be who they say they are
@Gaska said:
infinite money and infinite computing power
He's using this word. I don't think it means what he thinks it means.
In the non-geek world, I think that's what they call "forgivable exaggeration". Or so I've heard.
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RE: Bossiness
I'm pretty sure the cashiers do that just to speed things up - it's quicker to just say it than wait for the person to parse the screen.
I always slow down when someone tells me to do something I'm already in the process of doing.
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RE: Post Your (SFW) Internet Guilty Pleasures Here thread
I have an HTML file of all of the bookmarks I've made since I first got the internet in 1998. I also have a bookmarklet, "Go to Random Link". I like to go to my bookmarks file, and click on a random link.
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RE: In other news today...
@boner said in In other news today...:
I don't know if there were critical details missing, but no published lines are what I would call "abusive". She's probably not the smartest person in the world, because some of her lines were not quite correct, but that's a different question.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@RaceProUK said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's strange-looking, but I'm not sure I see the funny part.
You don't see the pacifier?
That's what that is, thanks. I never would have guessed. I saw he had a funny-looking mouth, that's all.
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RE: In other news today...
@boomzilla said in In other news today...:
@masonwheeler said in In other news today...:
They pragmatically expanded the powers of the federal government to cover necessary functions, but they remained somewhat shell-shocked after British oppression and the war that arose from it, and kept trying to cling to their small-government ideas (which had already failed once!) as much as they could, in defiance of reason and human nature.
You're rewriting history here and confusing federalism with "small government."
Yes, what we now call "small government" was the status quo for about 150 years after independence, thus there was no need for a special phrase for it.
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RE: Windows 10 can't make up its mind
@blakeyrat said in Windows 10 can't make up its mind:
@chozang Did you try pissing on a sparkplug?
Thank you for reminding me of the level of intelligence we've all come to know.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Happy valentine!
I like what my co-worker calls it: Singles Self-Awareness Day.
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RE: Florida Man goes to...
@dcon said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Gribnit said in Florida Man goes to...:
Hilarious! The man is utterly bork!
Hmm. Cold, hungry, wet, etc.
Or warm, fed, and a bed..."Three hots and a cot" is what the CO's used to call it.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
so no additional information is provided by saying "whoosh".
You think people who use are trying to be helpful and provide additional information?
Of course. What else could their motivation be?
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@el_heffe If you're going to mention Bach and funny stuff, it's obligatory to mention PDQ: https://www.schickele.com/.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
@Karla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
I didn't get it...and I am an English speaker. I think the "(ph)" threw me off.
I was trying to remember my alkaline and base scales. I still don't know what it was there for.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Associativity.
(First hand) (job experience) vs. first (hand job) experience.Thus proving the importance of hyphens.
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RE: WTDWTF Fitness Group
@Tsaukpaetra said in WTDWTF Fitness Group:
Yes, as mentioned previously it depends on how much yolk you use. Perhaps "true" mayonnaise uses significant portions and thus has a stronger tint.
I guess it depends on your definition of "true mayonnaise". The U.S. government is moderately strict - Miracle Whip is not allowed to call itself mayonnaise, even though we always called it that at home.
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RE: In other news today...
@fbmac said in In other news today...:
In reality, there are elephants as small as 15cm and 500g, we call them microelephants.
You may be thinking of shrews, who are related to elephants: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elephant_shrew
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If they're calling Sri Lanka, "Buddha Land", I'm OK with that.
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RE: Benefits of the repeal of Net Neutrality
@erufael said in Benefits of the repeal of Net Neutrality:
The concept is therefore as vague as I imagined. But the law must have been more precise than that?
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RE: THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
@Tsaukpaetra said in THE BAD IDEAS THREAD:
Do you expect an answer? They haven't been logged for almost a year...
Time is measured differently by those of us with less than 10,000 posts.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wouldn't be the first time that a surgery is performed on the wrong limb.
http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2010/01/wrong_lung_doc_working_again_a.html