Hey! I have a new product and I'm looking for crudcrowd founding. Its a product with and App that will be marketed as iWipe® with the slogan If you are full of it, this is just what you need...
The product is smart toilet paper. Each sheet is a composite of photo sensitive, ultra soft tissue sandwiching the latest in bendy batteries and wifi enabled smart circuitry. It can detect how dirty the tissue is, and by inference how clean your arse is.
The App will provide useful and informative statistics about usage: Average number of sheets used per session; efficiency of each sheet (version 2 will be "gamified" allowing you compete for the daily Quickest, cleanest arse award. Allowing you to find the best comprise between sheet usage and time etc). The App will also keep track of the usage and order replacements without you having to get up (Other manufactures are interested in developing an automated roll replacement robot to take advantage of this feature.)
Just a heads up: Version 2 will also include DNA sampling so that you can personalise this for yourself and household / business. For those worried about the runaway cost of small expenses, Version 3 will allow you to limit the number of sheets used per session. For the sake of sanitation this limit will be based on individual usage history, however, a maximum can be specified (in terms of average + n sheets). When exceeded, as a reminder, the sheet in use can deliver a mild electric shock of increase intensity and duration for each subsequent sheet.
Investors: This product is expected to sweep the country and wipe out any residual opposition. Whilst the App is free, each roll is expected to sale for $5,000.00. So get in through the basement and clean up.
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