Best posts made by chozang
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Over here petrol nozzles are (usually) green, diesel ones are black.
Back when leaded fuel was common, that used to usually be dispensed from red nozzles/hoses.
When I refer to coffee as "Leaded or Unleaded?", people no longer have any idea what I'm talking about.
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RE: Random thought of the day
@fbmac said in Random thought of the day:
I always think that if cocaine gets your brain used to it and you feel the reverse effect when you're addicted and without it, why isn't there an reverse cocaine that makes you feel like crap immediately, but happier after that.
Well, my brother used to endorse banging your head against the wall, because it feels so good when you stop.
Shortly thereafter, he took up marathoning.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
This occurred some decades ago. A physicist had spent many years trying to figure out the best shape for a nuclear particle accelerator. Thus far, he had made no progress, and the department was losing patience with him. One day, at his desk, he suddenly shrieked, "Eureka! I have found it! The ideal shape for a nuclear particle accelerator!" His colleagues gathered around him. He quickly drew a circle on a blank piece of paper, and eagerly showed it to them. They jeered and heckled him, and finally someone grabbed the sheet of paper from him, rolled it up and shoved it into a pencil sharpener. Naturally, the entire building turned into a mushroom cloud, due to the assembly of a critical mass at ground zero.
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RE: Neighbors are TR:wtf:
@boomzilla said in Neighbors are TR:
Found @Polygeekery's neighbor.
So I'm actually doing a public service by not mowing my lawn. I knew it!
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RE: In other news today...
@boomzilla said in In other news today...:
https://www.timesofisrael.com/iran-accuses-west-of-using-lizards-for-nuclear-spying/
I expect one day to find out that they were right.
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Getting information from people
This is especially aimed at those who do maintenance programming and user support, but others can respond as well. (I'm kind that way.) Do you find that with some people, no matter how short and clear and precise you make your questions, it is difficult to get critical information from them?
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The minor flaw is that it implies that some Charismatic/Pentecostalist preachers are not preachers.
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RE: In other news today...
@dreikin said in In other news today...:
@chozang said in In other news today...:
I argued against this in my term paper.
How'd that go?
I raised an objection to his theory, and that was when he suggested I make it my term paper. I said that I was as concerned as anyone would be arguing against a professor or boss, and he reassured me that I need not fear. It was a small class. During the presentation of my paper, there were only three other students, only one of whom I remember commenting. He was disappointed in the arguments on both sides, from me and Dr. Berkovich.
Dr. Berkovich was true to his word, and did not punish me for disagreeing with him.
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RE: In other news today...
@MZH said in In other news today...:
@chozang said in In other news today...:
@MZH said in In other news today...:
Condensed-matter physicists are still marketing-level, double-talking bastards, though.
You cannot imagine my hatred for condensed-matter physicists.
It sounds like there's a story here. Care to share?
I'm on the side of expanded-matter physicists.
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RE: Aussie software developer had to answer some Python questions to enter the US
“Do they not allow bad software engineers into the United States?” It sounds like Alex might be behind this.
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RE: In other news today...
@Gribnit said in In other news today...:
@boomzilla I got this great idea for a restaurant called "pain, sel, et eau" - 40 kinds of bread, 30 kinds of salt, and 30 kinds of water. Very high-class.
Not far off:
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RE: In other news today...
@boomzilla said in In other news today...:
Casteel succeeded in returning to his home, where he grabbed two cans of Bud Ice Premium, cops say.
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A police spokesperson charitably described Casteel’s devotion to his suds as “poor judgment.”Indeed.
When I was a correctional officer, every few months the schedules were such that all of the officers were present on a day. On that day, we would systematically shake down the prison, or as much of it as we had time for. All of the inmates were locked in their cells until the shake-down team got to their cell. A team was shaking down one tier systematically. So it was not a surprise - everyone except for the first cell could see the progress of the team. They got to one guy's cell and he had a barrel full of jumpsteady (homemade prison wine). So this guy had at least an hour to flush his barrel in order to avoid certain lockup. But he just couldn't bear to do it.
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RE: In other news today...
@pjh said in In other news today...:
"Mr Victory told the Irish Independent he was stunned a solicitor would take on such a case. "
I guess Irish solicitors must not have quite the same reputation as American lawyers.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@Boner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I am glad that they allow for the special case of Jonah. Too many forms do not consider the special cases.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I wouldn't hire someone for that position who prescribed that something be done to the left radial artery, without knowing which foot it is.
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Morale booster
Two days after some layoffs, one of the managers here emailed this picture to everyone:
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RE: In other news today...
@boner said in In other news today...:
I would have thought that serving eviction papers and getting her evicted would be a fairly straight-forward process. Deadbeats have their stuff legally thrown on the street every day.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
I guess no one ever told them that rubber dolls are just gag gifts.
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RE: In other news today...
@boomzilla said in In other news today...:
Oldest kid ever finally becomes a man!
Hmm. Sounds like a Y2K error.
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RE: In other news today...
@djls45 said in In other news today...:
@chozang said in In other news today...:
@pjh said in In other news today...:
@rhywden said in In other news today...:
You guys really have a problem with this whole sex stuff.
Under Texas' version of the law, if a young adult over the age of 17 has consensual sexual relations with someone under the age of 17, but at least 15 years old, with no more than a four-year age difference between the two, the new law will not require the older party to register as a sex offender if convicted of statutory rape.
...under the 3rd full moon after Harvest Festival, while holding a chicken, during a month with the letter R.
And you thought "half your age plus seven" was complicated...
In case anyone misunderstands what that originally was: that used to be the folk advice for the ideal age for a wedding: The woman should be half the age plus 7 of the man. In recent years, I have seen young folks think it was the greatest difference in age for a man and a woman to date.
Hmmm.....
Male Female newborn 7 1 7.5 2 8 3 8.5 4 9 5 9.5 6 10 7 10.5 8 11 9 11.5 10 12 11 12.5 12 13 13 13.5 14 14 15 14.5 16 15 17 15.5 18 16 19 16.5 20 17 30 22 40 27 50 32 60 37 70 42 80 47 90 52 100 57 This is what I like about this site. It's the only place anyone would create a table to illustrate the ramifications of a statement like that.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
In my experience, those who allow themselves to be that drunk in public are (at least temporarily) morons so the statement is redundant.
I resemble that remark.
As long as you're not in public when you're drunk, I don't particularly care. Living in Eastern Europe left me quite hostile to being around drunk people.
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Of course, I have a very very low opinion of public intoxication, so I might be biased there.
What's your opinion on private intoxication?
Judgmental Mormons, always being buzzkills.
I'd rather people didn't drink at all, but trying to break that habit by force (either by social opprobrium or governmental force) is a cure worse than the disease. Do what you will, just don't make me pay for the damage. Oh, and CLOSE YOUR ACCURSED TAGS
Sounds like another item for an alcoholism and addiction checklist. "Do you forget to close your accursed tags?"
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RE: Nope
@heterodox said in Nope:
I'm one of those technical people who can't figure out how to program their VCRs. (And that's clearly a stereotype that needs an update in my head.)
I did figure out how to put a piece of duct tape over the blinking 12:00.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@M_Adams said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@JBert said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon What?
If someone asks "What", I think it's clear that they're admitting to whooshing, so no additional information is provided by saying "whoosh".
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Regional variations in pronunciation.
Like how southerners put extra R sounds in certain words that the northerners don't. Grass/Grarss, Newcastle/Newcarstle, Bath/Barth.
New Englanders also put R's in strange places. "I got an idear, let's go get some beeah!" They have to do something with the R's they take out.
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RE: 😈 The Evil Ideas thread
What if somebody didn't want to be logged out? It runs automatically as soon as you hit the page...
"Whenever I go to Super Logout, it logs me out of several websites. I hate when that happens."
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RE: The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®
@createdtodislikethis said in The Unofficial Funny Comic Strips Thread®:
This is the best explanation for that physics phenomenon that I have ever seen.
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
Shut Up, Mind Your Own Business and Trouble were walking down a road. Trouble got lost. So, the other two found a policeman. The policeman asked, "What are your names?"
They replied, "Shut Up" and "Mind Your Own Business".
The policeman asked, "Are you looking for trouble?!"
"Yes, how did you know?" -
RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Maybe he spilled soda on his keyboard.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
For all the and that happens here, this is actually the most welcoming forum I've ever participated in.
That's ... depressing. But I think you might have a point. They don't start the personal attacks here until you're a regular. Which is kind of the opposite of many help forums.
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RE: Crypto-cows
@boomzilla said in Crypto-cows:
Re: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
(/assets/uploads/files/1518621984098-969d492d-9a0a-414c-8982-e529a7e1ff2f-image.png)They got Socialism wrong. It should be, "The State takes one and gives one to your neighbor."
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RE: The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
What did one wall say to the other?
Meet me at the corner. -
RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
That guy has clearly never met a Linux weenie
Linux is for weenies. TempleOS is for tough guys.
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RE: Meme drift
@pie_flavor said in Meme drift:
@Gribnit said in Meme drift:
@pie_flavor The forum knows what a thunderdome is for. It's like the invisible hand of the market that saved you from abortion - its ways are not man's ways, nor its thoughts man's thoughts.
what?
I am now convinced of the importance of obtaining a Gribnit button.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@Boner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Given that "dog" is a not-so-polite term for an ugly woman, I'm not sure where that leaves us.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah
Who posts a picture of himself when he is about to sneeze?This is what it reminded me of: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-edtlSmUBRU/S4bGgCXX3rI/AAAAAAAAAAc/fOoSdVIe5oc/S1600-R/blogger.JPG
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RE: In other news today...
@Yamikuronue said in In other news today...:
You know, I always thought I had PTSD, but now I'm sure of it.
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RE: The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
@yamikuronue In one of the assigned textbooks in my business ethics course when I was an MBA student for a semester, there was a sentence or two on the dangers of dihydrogen monoxide. It was presented as a straight piece of information. It was presented matter-of-factly in the context of factual prose. I looked it up, and it traced back to a book that Garrison Keillor wrote. I do not know if the author of the textbook knew or cared about its seriousness.
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RE: In other news today...
@masonwheeler said in In other news today...:
"We couldn't. We got to the site, but found it was full of blondes fishing!"
If only I'd known how to fish for blondes back when it mattered.
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RE: 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD
@chozang said in 🙅 THE BAD IDEAS THREAD:
But can you send a jelly potato?
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RE: 📷 Photos thread
@abarker said in 📷 Photos thread:
@Jaloopa said in 📷 Photos thread:
if an analogue photo steals a portion of your soul, it stands to reason that a digital photo will steal the same portion for each pixel
What then happens to your soul if an analogue photo is converted to digital?
It depends on whether the conversion is lossy or not.