The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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Nearly adopted Ted Cruz today...
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This is one of the best videos I've seen:
https://gfycat.com/SeriousPhysicalAbyssiniancat
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The head teacher told them, 'Well you can wear a skirt if you like', but I think she was being sarcastic. However, children tend to take you literally and so five boys turned up in skirts today
I'm pretty sure those kids understood what the teacher meant just fine.
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@anonymous234 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The head teacher told them, 'Well you can wear a skirt if you like', but I think she was being sarcastic. However, children tend to take you literally and so five boys turned up in skirts today
I'm pretty sure those kids understood what the teacher meant just fine.
Kids are pretty good about being hyper-literal when it suits them.
I teach a chemistry class and the kids have to wear long pants (not shorts or shorter skirts) for labs. Sometimes, the labs are virtual (meaning they do them electronically). They don't have to wear long pants for virtual labs. The day before a virtual lab a boy asked "Do I have to wear pants tomorrow?" I answered "no," but then my brain caught up and I finished with "but you do have to be within dress code" because I knew that some smart-*** would take that and show up sans culottes the next day and blame it on me.
Another time a student asked "Can I turn this in now?" (it was early), and I jokingly said "No." She turned away and started walking off with a downcast expression. I had to call her back and tell her I was joking before she settled down.
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@anotherusername Ah - so you (the "you" in the image) never get presents...
to :sister: - Sorry, your box seems to have been lost. Yes, again.
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I don't really want to think what Jon Pertwee from Doctor Who looks like now seeing that he died in 1996.
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@Arantor I wouldn't trust anyone who thinks Paul McGann looks like John Pertwee
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@coldandtired said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm surrounded by locals complaining that it's only 28 degrees and when will summer start?
Lucky bastard. I recently decided "Fuck the environment" and bought an AC. Best. Decision. Ever.
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I recently decided "Fuck the environment" and bought an AC. Best. Decision. Ever.
I bought a new (well, 9-month old) car a few weeks ago.
It has air-con.
I've never owned a car with air-con before.
And I'll never own one without it again :D
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I recently decided "Fuck the environment" and bought an AC. Best. Decision. Ever.
When I get home tonight, I'll wishing I did. But then I only need it a couple days each year... Didn't at all last year. But this week has been ... unpleasant.
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@dcon
I live in the hottest part of Germany. Well, apart from saunas and crowded long-distance trains, because the air conditioning in them fails every single goddamn time.
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@asdf Machines in Germany can fail‽
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon
I live in the hottest part of Germany.I'm in the SF bay area. Absolutely great climate. Which explains our insane real estate prices...
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@RaceProUK Apparently, some dickhead a few years ago that designing the air conditioning for temperatures up to 32° would be sufficient. Because nobody's ever heard of higher temperatures in Germany in summer, right?
The air conditioning in the old trains is even worse. Never board the (always overcrowded) IC from Stuttgart to Munich in summer. It's a health hazard and probably increases your chances of a heat stroke (or actual stroke) by at least 700%. By the time you arrive in Munich, you'll be as wet as if you just went for a swim with your clothes on.
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm in the SF bay area. Absolutely great climate
As long as you stay out of the south bay...
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm in the SF bay area. Absolutely great climate.
I know, I used to work there. It's the perfect temperature in summer.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Another time a student asked "Can I turn this in now?" (it was early), and I jokingly said "No." She turned away and started walking off with a downcast expression. I had to call her back and tell her I was joking before she settled down.
Awww!
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@perverted_vixen, @anotherusername found your package.
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@Arantor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I don't really want to think what Jon Pertwee from Doctor Who looks like now seeing that he died in 1996.
I dread to think about Hartnell...
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@RaceProUK said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I recently decided "Fuck the environment" and bought an AC. Best. Decision. Ever.
I bought a new (well, 9-month old) car a few weeks ago.
It has air-con.
I've never owned a car with air-con before.
And I'll never own one without it again :D
Just wait until the air-con inevitably breaks and you find out how much it will cost to fix it. :P For the record, my car has a broken air-con. I'm not gonna bother fixing that one...
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
For the record, my car has a broken air-con.
You can't open the windows?
May I suggest Linux?
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@PJH said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
You can't open the windows?
I usually forego AC in my little truck, simply because it has the performance of a 3-cylinder while it's engaged. But I was sorely tempted to use it this week....
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@perverted_vixen, @anotherusername found your package.
Yeah... about that. @perverted_vixen, PM me and we can negotiate the terms of its safe return... ;)
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@Tsaukpaetra
Yeah, in the Honda Jazz it also feels like the Turbo Boost button from Knight Rider when you are turning it off...
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Well, apart from saunas and crowded long-distance trains, because the air conditioning in them fails every single goddamn time.
TIL Germans have air conditioning in saunas.
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@xaade well, at least those two sweethearts are sprouting from different branches...
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@perverted_vixen, @anotherusername found your package.
oh. so THAT'S where i sent those......
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You're right. 3rd cousin is far enough.... right..... right.... ?
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@xaade
In Kentucky, they call that unrelated.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
You're right. 3rd cousin is far enough.... right..... right.... ?
Google suggested that pretty much everyone is a 16th cousin or closer to you, so if the tree is supposed to represent the whole human race, every branch has to indicate at least a few generations; probably around 4-6...
edit: although, as far as I know there are no bans against marriage between third cousins.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
You're right. 3rd cousin is far enough.... right..... right.... ?
I've never even met most of my 2nd cousins.
I probably would have no idea if I met someone who was my 3rd cousin.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Kids are pretty good about being hyper-literal when it suits them.
I teach a chemistry class and the kids have to wear long pants (not shorts or shorter skirts) for labs. Sometimes, the labs are virtual (meaning they do them electronically). They don't have to wear long pants for virtual labs. The day before a virtual lab a boy asked "Do I have to wear pants tomorrow?" I answered "no," but then my brain caught up and I finished with "but you do have to be within dress code" because I knew that some smart-*** would take that and show up sans culottes the next day and blame it on me.
I'm reminded of Skippy's List for some reason:
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Not allowed to chew gum at formation, unless I brought enough for everybody.
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(Next day) Not allowed to chew gum at formation even if I did bring enough for everybody.
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@RaceProUK said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@asdf Machines in Germany can fail‽
Ever heard of Volkswagen?
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@RaceProUK Apparently, some dickhead a few years ago that designing the air conditioning for temperatures up to 32° would be sufficient. Because nobody's ever heard of higher temperatures in Germany in summer, right?
The air conditioning in the old trains is even worse. Never board the (always overcrowded) IC from Stuttgart to Munich in summer. It's a health hazard and probably increases your chances of a heat stroke (or actual stroke) by at least 700%. By the time you arrive in Munich, you'll be as wet as if you just went for a swim with your clothes on.
Ugh, that's a real mess. Someone ought to step up and make the trains run on time!
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I probably would have no idea if I met someone who was my 3rd cousin.
I remember going to a way extended family reunion, like 3rd and 4th cousins. None of my 1st or 2nd cousins there.
There was a girl there that was super hot. Nice body, blonde hair, really large chest. Like.... really large.
Disappointed the hell out of me. I refuse to be the southern stereotype.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I probably would have no idea if I met someone who was my 3rd cousin.
I remember going to a way extended family reunion, like 3rd and 4th cousins. None of my 1st or 2nd cousins there.
There was a girl there that was super hot. Nice body, blonde hair, really large chest. Like.... really large.
Disappointed the hell out of me. I refuse to be the southern stereotype.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade well, at least those two sweethearts are sprouting from different branches...
Maybe it's been doing it wrong all along!
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
There was a girl there that was super hot. Nice body, blonde hair, really large chest. Like.... really large.
That's my first cousin :)
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I remember going to a way extended family reunion, like 3rd and 4th cousins. None of my 1st or 2nd cousins there.
There was a girl there that was super hot. Nice body, blonde hair, really large chest. Like.... really large.
Disappointed the hell out of me. I refuse to be the southern stereotype.I had the very same experience. Minus being afraid of the stereotype. I still resisted the temptation to flirt.
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
There was a girl there that was super hot. Nice body, blonde hair, really large chest. Like.... really large.
That's my first cousin :)
That's my last cousin!
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In re recent discussion on this group: because my father was an only child, and so was my mother, I have no aunts, uncles, or first cousins.
I do have one second cousin who's pretty hot. Got her hand kissed by Pierce Brosnan in the TV version of Around the World in Eighty Days.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I usually forego AC in my little truck, simply because it has the performance of a 3-cylinder while it's engaged
When I want to overtake someone in the summer, I turn the AC off and it feels like the nitrous boost in the racing movies.