The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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Ha! hilarious
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@Jaloopa I still see it in my browser, but not on imgur.
So I guess I'll copy it here for posterity.
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(found on the internet)
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@loopback0 I don't get it.
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@loopback0 I've never heard that term before. Is that real, or just another example of Urban Dictionary having a dirty definition for every possible combination of letters?
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@mott555 It's definitely a real term in Britain.
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@mott555 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I've never heard that term before
never heard of @end ?
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http://www.kombu.de/twain-2.htm
Surely there is not another language that is so slipshod and systemless, and so slippery and elusive to the grasp. One is washed about in it, hither and thither, in the most helpless way; and when at last he thinks he has captured a rule which offers firm ground to take a rest on amid the general rage and turmoil of the ten parts of speech, he turns over the page and reads, "Let the pupil make careful note of the following exceptions ." He runs his eye down and finds that there are more exceptions to the rule than instances of it.
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You observe how far that verb is from the reader's base of operations; well, in a German newspaper they put their verb away over on the next page; and I have heard that sometimes after stringing along the exciting preliminaries and parentheses for a column or two, they get in a hurry and have to go to press without getting to the verb at all.
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The Germans have another kind of parenthesis, which they make by splitting a verb in two and putting half of it at the beginning of an exciting chapter and the other half at the end of it. Can any one conceive of anything more confusing than that? These things are called "separable verbs." The German grammar is blistered all over with separable verbs; and the wider the two portions of one of them are spread apart, the better the author of the crime is pleased with his performance.
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For instance, the same sound, sie, means you , and it means she , and it means her, and it means it , and it means they, and it means them . Think of the ragged poverty of a language which has to make one word do the work of six -- and a poor little weak thing of only three letters at that.I'll end it here, but there's tons of classic quotes in there.
Tagging @area_deu because I hope they get a rise out of it
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@bb36e He obviously never encountered any Finns.
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@Karla #VandalismInCanada?
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@coldandtired
Hey, no doxxing in the public areas. Nobody knew that's why @Lorne-Kates got fired...
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@bb36e Some of my favourite parts:
I think that a description of any loud, stirring, tumultuous episode must be tamer in German than in English. Our descriptive words of this character have such a deep, strong, resonant sound, while their German equivalents do seem so thin and mild and energyless. Boom, burst, crash, roar, storm, bellow, blow, thunder, explosion; howl, cry, shout, yell, groan; battle, hell. These are magnificent words; they have a force and magnitude of sound befitting the things which they describe. But their German equivalents would be ever so nice to sing the children to sleep with, or else my awe-inspiring ears were made for display and not for superior usefulness in analyzing sounds. Would any man want to die in a battle which was called by so tame a term as a Schlacht? ...
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There are some German words which are singularly and powerfully effective. For instance, those which describe lowly, peaceful, and affectionate home life; those which deal with love, in any and all forms, from mere kindly feeling and honest good will toward the passing stranger, clear up to courtship; those which deal with outdoor Nature, in its softest and loveliest aspects -- with meadows and forests, and birds and flowers, the fragrance and sunshine of summer, and the moonlight of peaceful winter nights; in a word, those which deal with any and all forms of rest, repose, and peace; those also which deal with the creatures and marvels of fairyland; and lastly and chiefly, in those words which express pathos, is the language surpassingly rich and affective. There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. That shows that the sound of the words is correct -- it interprets the meanings with truth and with exactness; and so the ear is informed, and through the ear, the heart.I guess it goes to show that the public opinion of how a language sounds can be influenced a lot by politics, if you know what I mean.
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@bb36e Some of my favourite parts:
I think that a description of any loud, stirring, tumultuous episode must be tamer in German than in English. Our descriptive words of this character have such a deep, strong, resonant sound, while their German equivalents do seem so thin and mild and energyless. Boom, burst, crash, roar, storm, bellow, blow, thunder, explosion; howl, cry, shout, yell, groan; battle, hell. These are magnificent words; they have a force and magnitude of sound befitting the things which they describe. But their German equivalents would be ever so nice to sing the children to sleep with, or else my awe-inspiring ears were made for display and not for superior usefulness in analyzing sounds. Would any man want to die in a battle which was called by so tame a term as a Schlacht? ...
Four linguists were sharing a compartment on a train on their way to an international conference on sound symbolism. One was English, one Spanish, one French and the fourth German. They got into a discussion on whose language was the most eloquent and euphonious.
The English linguist said: "Why, English is the most eloquent language. Take for instance the word "butterfly". Butterfly, butterfly... doesn't that word so beautifully express the way this delicate insect flies. It's like flutter-by, flutter-by."
"Oh, no!" said the Spanish linguist, "the word for "butterfly" in Spanish is "mariposa". Now, this word expresses so beautifully the vibrant colours on the butterfly's wings. What could be a more apt name for such a brilliant creature? Spanish is the most eloquent language!"
"Papillon!" says the French linguist, "papillon! This word expresses the fragility of the butterfly's wings and body. This is the most fitting name for such a delicate and ethereal insect. French is the most eloquent language!"
At this the German linguist stands up, and demands: "Und vot is rongk mit 'SCHMETTERLING'?"
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
SCHMETTERLING
I'm afraid I'm going to need an explanation.
I only know a little German.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I only know a little German.
Yeah ... you won't learn Schmetterling from watching German Porn.
It's butterfly but it's a running gag to slightly butcher the pronunciation so that it sounds like you are part of a Leni Riefenstahl movie about a speech in Nuremberg.
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Get it? Wiener! Hehehehehehehehehe
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@anonymous234 In my work we do a lot of data processing related, among many other things, to the Q factor, which we obviously shorten to "Q" in informal talk. Now, the pronounciation of the letter "Q" in French is the same sound as the word for "ass".
So everyday I get a lot of people discussing with colleagues the latest stage of their ass, whether their ass is better than yesterday, if the new project is going to have a good ass or not and whether the client is liking the ass. Quite surreal sometimes.
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@RaceProUK ever tried getting something out of a dog's mouth when it wants to keep it?
I'd rather be wresting a lion.
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The Hipster Nativity Scene:
https://player.vimeo.com/video/193933647?byline=0&portrait=0
Hey, shouldn't there also be a star and a donkey?
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@Grunnen said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Our descriptive words of this character have such a deep, strong, resonant sound, while their German equivalents do seem so thin and mild and energyless.
It's backward. They have to contrast with the rest of German words that have deep, strong, resonant sound.
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@RaceProUK ever tried getting something out of a dog's mouth when it wants to keep it?
I'd rather be wresting a lion.
I don't have to worry about that - when I immediately react to him eating something, by the time I open his mouth, it's already long gone. My only hope is if it's something large - if it requires 2 swallows, I might be able to grab a corner before it disappears. Damn, the boy is quick.
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A hole in one.
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@obeselymorbid
yikes. I about clenched myself watching that.Though, at least it was probably a Darwin Award worthy endeavor, if he happened to die of complications from his little swim?
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I think that would drive my husband more crazy than me. There is something calming and beautiful about the perfect square hole that is approx 45 degrees offset.
"perfect square"? "approximately"? IT'S AN OFFSET CHUNK OF THE MIDDLE OF THE BROWNIE AAAAAAAAAAA what have I done to deserve witnessing this irreconcilable atrocity
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A hole in one.
I much prefer the video about the lesbian couple who play golf. "A Hole in Two"
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I think that would drive my husband more crazy than me. There is something calming and beautiful about the perfect square hole that is approx 45 degrees offset.
"perfect square"? "approximately"? IT'S AN OFFSET CHUNK OF THE MIDDLE OF THE BROWNIE AAAAAAAAAAA what have I done to deserve witnessing this irreconcilable atrocity
Apologies for "lady" not that there is anything wrong with that if you chose to identify as such.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So this is from that Poke Wars knockoff minifigurine series?
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
what have I done to deserve witnessing this irreconcilable atrocity
That's an easy solution. I now see one serving in that pan.
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@dcon It looks like about 95% of a serving to me. Some idiot removed 5% of it.
Filed Under: I may have a bit of an overindulgence problem with sweets
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So this is from that Poke Wars knockoff minifigurine series?
Yes, starring everyone's favorite hero Ash Skywalker with his loyal sidekick PikaD2.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ash Skywalker
I hope that's Vader's new nickname after his battle with Obi-Wan on Mustafar.
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"perfect square"? "approximately"? IT'S AN OFFSET CHUNK OF THE MIDDLE OF THE BROWNIE AAAAAAAAAAA what have I done to deserve witnessing this irreconcilable atrocity
Are you sure that's not a Texas sheet cake?
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@abarker I'm pretty sure it's brownie.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm pretty sure the top one is the head of a cat-bat cross pasted onto the neck of a fake chicken.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Apologies for "lady" not that there is anything wrong with that if you chose to identify as such.
TBH, I thought that was part of the joke until I read your disclaimer.
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Apologies for "lady" not that there is anything wrong with that if you chose to identify as such.
TBH, I thought that was part of the joke until I read your disclaimer.
I don't remember, maybe it is.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@mott555 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Mustafar
(yeast)
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@pydsigner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@mott555 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Mustafar
(yeast)
I don't get it.