Welcome to the April Update!
-
So for whatever crazy reason I updated my main desktop to 1803. I haven't tested much, but I did make it through the install process without my machine eating itself. My fonts appear to still be intact (I lost a bunch in 1703 and got them back in 1709) and my software (at least so far) is working.
There are a few places in Settings that think you're on an Insider build when you're not, something that appears to have escaped whatever frantic testing they did trying to get this out before the end of April. Also the Task View button (should be Timeline now) doesn't do anything for me, but I had it hidden before so I don't care that much.
Windows as a Service. :/
-
@parody said in Welcome to the April Update!:
There are a few places in Settings that think you're on an Insider build when you're not
Screen Shot(s)?
-
Found another one: my Type 1 fonts don't appear in the new Fonts panel in Settings, though they're still in the Fonts folder/Control Panel and seem to work properly. We'll see if I can get the Feedback Hub to let me complain about it "officially", as so far it's just sitting there after I clicked Submit.
-
@thecpuwizard OK?
Here's a composite set of pictures from the Settings app. The main is Privacy/Diagnostics & feedback, "Choose when" is Update and Security/Windows Update/Advanced options, and "Windows specifications" is System/About.
I installed it by downloading today's release of the Update Assistant.
-
@parody said in Welcome to the April Update!:
I installed it by downloading today's release of the Update Assistant.
I just clicked "Check for Updates". No assistants needed!
-
Hah!
I will inflict this on the org at my leisure. I'll wait for more breakarage reports...
-
I noticed timelines a few days ago on my machine. It doesn't really affect me, since it basically just shows me browser tab activity, but it's interesting. The new versions of Windows Holographic include an alternative to the Cliff House, that's a giant set of rooms on top of a skyscraper. I like that a lot.
-
I am not welcome to the april update. The install failed. After reboot it just got stuck on the Windows logo, with no apparent computer activity, and after a couple reboots of just getting stuck on the logo it did a rollback.
-
@atazhaia goddamnit that means I can't fix mine remotely and I'm just gonna be stuck wasting several hours in the morning fixing Microsoft's problems.
-
Ok, I found their "what's new" advertisement post: https://blogs.windows.com/windowsexperience/2018/04/30/whats-new-in-the-windows-10-april-2018-update/
The "features" fall into four categories:
- Adding more shit to my start menu that I will have to remove
- Bullshit nobody ever asked for
- Internet of Shit
- Features my Chromebook has supported for years but somehow Microsoft still considers "innovative" and "industry-leading"
- (Ooh, logging into your Microsoft account logs you into your Microsoft account! It's just like your Google account, but with Microsoft instead of Google! How innovative!)
- (Ooh, look at all these new features nobody has ever heard of that we're adding to Edge that every other web browser you can install on Windows 10 already supports and that's why you've definitely never heard of them!)
Features I want Microsoft to add to Windows:
- Not locking running executables by filename so programs can update or uninstall themselves and so updates can happen while an instance of the program is running. (This is a thing Linux supports out of the box.)
- Some equivalent to Canonical Livepatch so I don't need to reboot for every goddamn update. (Seriously, updating flash player requires a full system reboot?)
- Allow me to route programs to virtual soundcards without using a third party virtual sound card driver and manually modified program executables. (PulseAudio supports this on Linux.)
- Run all programs in a sandbox that can't access other programs' files. (Unfortunately, no desktop OS does this by default, but imagine if everything secretly ran in Docker containers and ransomware had no way of working.)
- Not breaking my computer to the point where I need to physically reset it multiple times to finish installing an update. (I managed to do full
apt update && apt dist-upgradeon three different Linux installations before the Windows 10 update was even 30% done. And none of them required reboots.)
Features Microsoft wants to add to Windows:
- LOOK YOU CAN DRAW ON YOUR SCREEN
- LOOK THE COMPUTER CAN SEE YOUR FACE
- YOUR COMPUTER ISN'T SAFE FROM RANSOMWARE BUT HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS THING WHERE YOUR COMPUTER CAN TURN ON YOUR OVEN THAT'S COOL RIGHT
- VIDEO GAMES ARE SO MUCH EASIER TO PLAY NOW THAT WE CHANGED THE COLOR OF THE GAME BAR SLIGHTLY
- OTHER PEOPLE CAN NOW SEND YOU PHOTOS BY STANDING NEAR YOU AS OPPOSED TO WHAT THEY USED TO BE ABLE TO DO WITH FILE SHARING PROGRAMS
- WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE IN THIS PHOTOREALISTIC 1970S SCI FI COMPUTER RENDERING OF AN APARTMENT WITH A WALL MISSING
-
ok I went to my computer (it's 3AM, and I finished installing updates about an hour and a half ago if my math is right).
The screen said "Working on updates 52%"
Six minutes later, it now says "Working on updates 48%"
-
Live look at Ben's computer:
[it has been almost two hours since initiating the reboot process]
-
What could Windows possibly be doing that makes the local part of the update take this much longer than the download on my connection?
-
@ben_lubar Race condition; it wasn't prepared to deal with this many instances of @boomzilla at once.
-
@parody said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Found another one: my Type 1 fonts don't appear in the new Fonts panel in Settings, though they're still in the Fonts folder/Control Panel and seem to work properly. We'll see if I can get the Feedback Hub to let me complain about it "officially", as so far it's just sitting there after I clicked Submit.
Did you try turning off the firewall?
-
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Not locking running executables by filename so programs can update or uninstall themselves and so updates can happen while an instance of the program is running. (This is a thing Linux supports out of the box.)
EVERYBODY DOWN! BLAKEYRANT INCOMING!
-
@boomzilla said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Not locking running executables by filename so programs can update or uninstall themselves and so updates can happen while an instance of the program is running. (This is a thing Linux supports out of the box.)
EVERYBODY DOWN! BLAKEYRANT INCOMING!
Not forcing me to stay up past 5 AM fixing the shit they broke in their mandatory updates would be nice, too.
-
@boomzilla said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Did you try turning off the firewall?
Hey, I want my fonts to work. Nobody turns off the firewall and expects their fonts to work. That's just basic computering.
-
Oh, and as is typical for Windows 10, the Task View thing started working after I let the machine sit for a couple of hours. Now I can safely hide the button again and go back to ignoring the feature. :)
-
@parody You kiddin'? Task View is great.
-
@parody said in Welcome to the April Update!:
after I let the machine sit for a couple of hours
I've noticed it's taking about 5 minutes for explorer.exe to start up after I log in.
WTF did Microsoft break so horribly that logging in gives me a blank screen for multiple minutes?
-
@pie_flavor said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@parody You kiddin'? Task View is great.
Maybe you open a lot more applications at a time than I do. I don't find it useful at all when I can already see all of the running applications across my monitors or in popups on the Taskbar (for open Explorer windows). Timeline is similarly not useful when it only shows the running applications and the site I was testing in Edge a couple days ago.
-
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Features I want Microsoft to add to Windows:
- Not locking running executables by filename so programs can update or uninstall themselves and so updates can happen while an instance of the program is running. (This is a thing Linux supports out of the box.)
That's a
DOSCP/M compatibility thing. They will never remove that, everything would break.It's also why I can't use the nightly build of our software to compute something over night, because the build fails if the binary is open. This works just fine on Linux. No wait, it should work, but our NFS is fucked up and I get a bus error when I do this. Oh well, so it doesn't work anywhere.
Back to Windows, I would be happy enough if the build wouldn't randomly fail at the "embedding manifest" stage. Guess I need to have a shouting match with IT to disable the retarded AV.
-
@topspin Is this the thread where everyone once again rolls out their most favourite gripes with Windows, completely disregarding minor things like "backwards compatibility". Combined with the pointing out of "favourite feature from $OTHER_OS$" which cannot be easily integrated?
Combine with a smidgeon of "Don't need new feature, thus completely freak out about new feature because I don't like new things."
Wake me up when there's something new.
-
@rhywden I'm pretty sure I mentioned backwards compatibility in the first sentence.
-
@topspin said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden I'm pretty sure I mentioned backwards compatibility in the first sentence.
Wasn't aimed at you ;)
-
@rhywden or where they propose horrible ideas (containerize all the things! Disregard how painful that makes content creation or how much of a walled garden it promotes).?
-
@rhywden Nah, it's all about the new gripes and the shared experience of starting the update and seeing if Windows eats itself. The rest is just collateral damage.
-
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@topspin Is this the thread where everyone once again rolls out their most favourite gripes with Windows, completely disregarding minor things like "backwards compatibility". Combined with the pointing out of "favourite feature from $OTHER_OS$" which cannot be easily integrated?
Combine with a smidgeon of "Don't need new feature, thus completely freak out about new feature because I don't like new things."
Wake me up when there's something new.
Welcome to WTDWTF, that is what we do here.
-
Well, let's see how long this takes.
https://i.imgur.com/CPn9Tqh.png
-
I love searching for Windows error codes. I tried looking up the error I got after the update failed. The helpful Microsoft page listed four very different errors, and ofc the log entry was completely useless to figuring which of the four it was. And ofc I don't know if it was an actual error I got, or just from me interrupting the install process several times because the computer looked like it had froze. Grr.
-
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@topspin Is this the thread where everyone once again rolls out their most favourite gripes with Windows, completely disregarding minor things like "backwards compatibility". Combined with the pointing out of "favourite feature from $OTHER_OS$" which cannot be easily integrated?
Combine with a smidgeon of "Don't need new feature, thus completely freak out about new feature because I don't like new things."
Wake me up when there's something new.
It's also the thread where you whine that everyone else should lie back and think of Redmond because Big Bob knows best!
-
@parody said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden Nah, it's all about the new gripes and the shared experience of starting the update and seeing if Windows eats itself. The rest is just collateral damage.
No, you see, they can't make Windows Update not suck. How would you know that Windows updated?
-
Didn't take that long, all things considered.
Immediate reactions:- For a second, I thought it wiped all Chrome data. But no, what it really did was delete my junction in $LocalAppData\Google. Why? Why delete any junctions? Why not delete other app data junctions?
- It also wiped Chrome off the taskbar pins.
- This is definitely a new UI. Not sure I like it more than the last one. Is there a reason it needs to animate based on mouse movement in any way more complex than 'are you hovering over this element'? Except it's of course only in some menus, not all of them (e.g. top level Settings menu, but not subcategories).
- Task View changed. The desktops are on the top now instead of the bottom and the windows go in a static layout instead of a dynamic layout. Why? No real reason. Also the icon animation is now more obnoxious.
-
@boomzilla said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@topspin Is this the thread where everyone once again rolls out their most favourite gripes with Windows, completely disregarding minor things like "backwards compatibility". Combined with the pointing out of "favourite feature from $OTHER_OS$" which cannot be easily integrated?
Combine with a smidgeon of "Don't need new feature, thus completely freak out about new feature because I don't like new things."
Wake me up when there's something new.
It's also the thread where you whine that everyone else should lie back and think of Redmond because Big Bob knows best!
Naw, I was just stating that this is boring.
-
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@boomzilla said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@topspin Is this the thread where everyone once again rolls out their most favourite gripes with Windows, completely disregarding minor things like "backwards compatibility". Combined with the pointing out of "favourite feature from $OTHER_OS$" which cannot be easily integrated?
Combine with a smidgeon of "Don't need new feature, thus completely freak out about new feature because I don't like new things."
Wake me up when there's something new.
It's also the thread where you whine that everyone else should lie back and think of Redmond because Big Bob knows best!
Naw, I was just stating that this is boring.
Yeah, it was fun until you showed up.
-
@rhywden
Just think of it like visiting a sub-reddit for your favorite computer game. Where everyone's an expert in game balance and the game would be perfect and need no further improvements ever if the devs would just follow the OP's advice and do this One Simple Thing (almost inevitably make some balance changes to one esoteric champion that nobody ever plays because he's horribly designed with an insanely steep learning curve and overwhelming variance).
-
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
What could Windows possibly be doing that makes the local part of the update take this much longer than the download on my connection?
This is something that has puzzled me for a long time. I never do updates, i always do a clean install. How can a clean install take 15 minutes but an update takes hours? You're just copying files from location to another.
Even if I include the amount of time it takes me to re-install all my favorite programs and tweak everything just the way I like it, I can do a clean install in less time than most people are saying it takes to do an upgrade.
WTF
is Microsoft doing that takes so long?
-
That reminds me; my wife's computer updated, and now is showing random spam/popup ads for the Microsoft Store. So glad Microsoft has decided to skip the middleman and just include malware infections right from the source.
Tonight will be another round of googling for "HOW THE FUCK DO I DISABLE [insert Windows latest non-feature here]"
-
@el_heffe said in Welcome to the April Update!:
WTF
is Microsoft doing that takes so long?Cryptomining.
-
@boomzilla said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@boomzilla said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@topspin Is this the thread where everyone once again rolls out their most favourite gripes with Windows, completely disregarding minor things like "backwards compatibility". Combined with the pointing out of "favourite feature from $OTHER_OS$" which cannot be easily integrated?
Combine with a smidgeon of "Don't need new feature, thus completely freak out about new feature because I don't like new things."
Wake me up when there's something new.
It's also the thread where you whine that everyone else should lie back and think of Redmond because Big Bob knows best!
Naw, I was just stating that this is boring.
Yeah, it was fun until you showed up.
Just doing my job, ma'am.
-
@rhywden ¡No fun uber alles!
-
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
WTF did Microsoft break so horribly that logging in gives me a blank screen for multiple minutes?
Seems like a hardware issue, dude. Here's a cryptonickel, buy youself some working hardware
-
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
(Seriously, updating flash player requires a full system reboot?)
Pretty sure that one is on Adobe.
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Run all programs in a sandbox that can't access other programs' files. (Unfortunately, no desktop OS does this by default, but imagine if everything secretly ran in Docker containers and ransomware had no way of working.)
They're literally doing exactly this.
@ben_lubar said in Welcome to the April Update!:
LOOK YOU CAN DRAW ON YOUR SCREEN
This one is actually great, and they've done an unrivaled job of it.
@pie_flavor said in Welcome to the April Update!:
This is definitely a new UI. Not sure I like it more than the last one. Is there a reason it needs to animate based on mouse movement in any way more complex than 'are you hovering over this element'? Except it's of course only in some menus, not all of them (e.g. top level Settings menu, but not subcategories).
It lets them have buttons the same color as the background, while still helping you not miss clicking on them. I think they aren't subtle enough with the effect.
@pie_flavor said in Welcome to the April Update!:
Task View changed. The desktops are on the top now instead of the bottom and the windows go in a static layout instead of a dynamic layout. Why? No real reason. Also the icon animation is now more obnoxious.
It got timelines, so it's now a scrollable panel of history.
-
@magus said in Welcome to the April Update!:
It lets them have buttons the same color as the background, while still helping you not miss clicking on them
OK, but that presupposes that buttons the same colour as the background is something anybody would ever wany
-
@jaloopa There are times when it's fine, like most of the cases they actually use it in: there will be very well-contrasting text, typically. The lighting effect just lets you see the borders of the clickable area a bit better.
I don't know. I personally am not a big fan of that combination either, but I think that used well, it could be fine.
-
@izzion said in Welcome to the April Update!:
@rhywden
Just think of it like visiting a sub-reddit for your favorite computer game. Where everyone's an expert in game balance and the game would be perfect and need no further improvements ever if the devs would just follow the OP's advice and do this One Simple Thing (almost inevitably make some balance changes to one esoteric champion that nobody ever plays because he's horribly designed with an insanely steep learning curve and overwhelming variance).MAKE WINDOWS UPDATE NOT SUCK COMPLETE ASS.
Yes, that sounds like an unreasonable, poorly thought out feature request from obscure power users.
-
@magus I haven't actually seen the effect you're talking about. I'll probably get round to installing the update in the next few weeks
-
@topspin
In my observation, the overwhelming majority of “windows update sucks ass” complaints come from power users. Usually due to one of the following root causes:- Power User always sets their computers to never update because they live in constant fear of losing unsaved Notepad files where they track their critical to-do lists
- Power User does many registry hacks and/or fiddle with core system services on their computers when they get them because they read some article on the Internet about how those hacks will speed up their computer, without testing to see if they really help or bothering to figure out that the article was from Windows 98SE
- The above, but to keep Microsoft / the NSA from spying on them
- Power User uses some free antivirus that’s used by like 15 other Power users and isn’t on Microsoft’s supported/tested matrix, because they update their software as often as an average Power User would choose to.
- Power User relies on mission critical tools / workflows that were obsolete when 32 bit computing was new, because there hasn’t ever been any other tool that replicated that exact UI and feature set. Never mind that nobody actually needs a token ring tester any more.
But yes, clearly the fault is Windows Update, and all the sheeple just don’t realize how broken their computers are these days.
-
I haven't even updated yet and there are things I've never seen before in my action center...
