The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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The bad jokes thread etc etc.
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git commit -am fire
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When I was little, I named the new kitten Gurp. Flash forward to twelve years of my mother standing in the kitchen door calling her in to din-dins: "Gurp! Gurp!"
It's a wonder she wasn't taken away in one of those nice jackets with the sleeves that tie in back....
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No worse than calling your cat one of these:
Rape
Bomb
C*ntTwo cats I have had in my life were named "Shithead" and "Filthy Little Bastard".
Shithead was a total man's cat. He didn't really give a fuck about anything and frequently beat up on Labradors. On more than one occasion, when a new person would come to the house this would happen:
"Oh, what a cute cat."
"Yeah, don't try t-"
"Motherfucker!! He still has his front claws?"
"Yep, and he knows how to use them. There is a reason that the dog is on the other side of the living room and not coming to greet you."
"Filthy Little Bastard" was named so because I found him on a jobsite and he was definitely a filthy little bastard. He went to a rescue group in pretty short order as he was partly feral. I also had to take the center console out of my truck as he climbed in there on the way home and just fucking squawled the entire trip home.
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That's no tree...
But, not many places are more fitting for that particular bit of "art" than LA is.
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What is it, then? It can't be a penis because penises aren't typically 80% tip.
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Hint: You put it inside a hole - and keep it there for some amount of time.
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The word you're looking for starts with "b" and ends with "uttplug"
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What the fuck were they thinking?
Oh, right, they weren't
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Reminds me of a statue they put up in Rotterdam years back. Apparently it has a wikipedia page:
https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus_(beeld)
Seems to be from the same artist.
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PaulMcCarthy
In his early works, McCarthy sought to break the limitations of painting by using the body as a paintbrush or even canvas; later, he incorporated bodily fluids or food as substitutes into his works. In a 1974 video, Painting, Wall Whip, he painted with his head and face, "smearing his body with paint and then with ketchup, mayonnaise or raw meat and, in one case, feces."
. He also admitted to Le Monde that its butt plug shape was deliberate, and a "joke"
Yeah, he knows exactly what he's doing.
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Yeah, he knows exactly what he's doing.
I'd probably be more worried about him if he didn't.
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Sheldon Bergson, 46, had his name legally changed to Above Znoneofthe and is now a candidate for the Ontario legislature, the CBC reports. The election is Feb. 11.
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Ooh,either the best votebait or trolling attempt ever.
We should make him a honorary member.
Filed under: Poll: File_not_found
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Out of curiosity (since I'm completely unfamiliar with git) what does this do? (I get the joke and all but I don't know what these commands do).
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-a: adds files to the commit in progress
-m: sets the message for the commit
I assume he meant to putgit commit -a -m
, since that would do the commit, adding all unadded filesPush moves the changes to the remote repo,
-u origin
tells it where to go,MY-BRANCH
tells it which branch.
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"Never give a cat a name you wouldn't mind shouting out in a strained, worried voice around midnight while banging a tin bowl with a spoon," said a very wise man.
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My uncle named his cat "Steve", I suppose that counts.
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"Never give a cat a name you wouldn't mind shouting out in a strained, worried voice around midnight while banging a tin bowl with a spoon," said a very wise man.
I wouldn't mind yelling "dickless?!" in the middle of the night in a strained voice, especially if I was in my robe and had a bottle of whiskey in my hand and was hitting it with a spoon.
The neighbors would understand.
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Some vegetarians don't object to the taste of meat but choose not to eat it for ethical reasons.
But I bet that stuff doesn't taste much like ham or chicken.
Anyway, I'm fun at parties.
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My Dad's neighbour of a few years ago named his dog Poontang. Yes, really.
His mother, who he lived with, didn't find out what the word meant until she'd been calling the dog by that name for years.
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Richard Pryor already did it thirty years ago.
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Some vegetarians don't object to the taste of meat but choose not to eat it for ethical reasons.
But I bet that stuff doesn't taste much like ham or chicken.
Anyway, I'm fun at parties.
Also, that was an Australian
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Well, what do you get? Tell me! Don't leave me hanging!
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The other side of the pig.
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The other side of the pig.
... I'm pretty sure I'm ing right now. I don't get this at all.......
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Why did the chicken cross the pig -> what did the chicken get when it crossed the pig -> what do you get when you cross a pig with a chicken.
I was considering working ‘side of ham’ in there too, but now im glad I didn't; that would have been a pain in the ass to explain.
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pain in the ass to explain.
Yeah, then you would have had to add in a donkey into the equation, and it would probably be even more confusing!
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Well, what do you get? Tell me! Don't leave me hanging!
You get a cat who has heard one too many of a crow's dumb jokes and is inches away from turning him into crow slaw....
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> In his early works, McCarthy sought to break the limitations of painting by using the body as a paintbrush or even canvas; later, he incorporated bodily fluids or food as substitutes into his works. In a 1974 video, Painting, Wall Whip, he painted with his head and face, "smearing his body with paint and then with ketchup, mayonnaise or raw meat and, in one case, feces."
Sarah Levy. Do not Google while eating.
In other news - what language is this?:
James gave his version of events on his Facebook page "That funny moment when your walking into the servo and a unidentifiable car shows up, they broke into oportos, while they were in there I stole the keys to the car. Waited for them to run out. The passenger jumped into the car so I punched the **** out of the junkie and they ran off. I chased them but because I'm fat they got away haha."
No peeking
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/12130249/Drunk-vigilantes-who-foiled-robbery-give-hilarious-TV-interview.html
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Her art , not her.
Edit - and that's the wrong 'her.':
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Damn, man, spoiler that picture. I just ate!
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Sarah Levy. Do not Google while eating.
Drawing things in blood? Nothing I haven't seen in a horror movie yet.
Edit - and that's the wrong 'her.':
She's kind of good-looking?
EDIT: Most of her art is hideous, though.
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She's kind of good-looking?
Nothing a hair brush and taking off some jewelry couldn't fix.
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Nothing a hair brush and taking off some jewelry couldn't fix.
TIL how trinny and susannah would be called with an onion at their belts
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Speaking of which, since that Transformers game was my GotY last year, I think it's likely that the TMNT one will hold that place this year.
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James gave his version of events on his Facebook page "That funny moment when your walking into the servo and a unidentifiable car shows up, they broke into oportos, while they were in there I stole the keys to the car. Waited for them to run out. The passenger jumped into the car so I punched the **** out of the junkie and they ran off. I chased them but because I'm fat they got away haha."
This is a language known as Strayan, spoken in Straya, mate.
servo: Service station, petrol station, the place where you buy fuel for your vehicle, gas for your barbeque and other conveniences like snacks, drinks, bread and milk, newspapers, magazines, lighters, sunglasses, etc.
oportos: Fast food store that sells portuguese chicken
junkie: Derogatory term for a person addicted to heroin or other drugs, or just looks strung out or too bogan for the bogan speaking
fat: American-style physique
got away: In civilised countries it's considered murder to shoot a person in the back while they are fleeing
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Art is in the eye of the beholder
Ew, I don't think I'd want any of her art in my eye.
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Ew, I don't think I'd want any of her art in my eye.
Well, I don't want David's dong in my eye either, but that's not really a valid criteria for deciding what art is, is it?
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valid criteria for deciding what art is
Huh, no onebox. Shame.
something that is created with imagination and skill and that is beautiful or that expresses important ideas or feelings
I'm sure a dong in your eye would express a fairly important idea or feeling.
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I'm sure a dong in your eye would express a fairly important idea or feeling.
I'm sure if I had a dong in my eye, I would express a fairly important idea or feeling.
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Huh? She's not hideous. Kinda cute actually.
I'm just sayin', a face with that expression on it probably belongs on the dangerous side of the hot/crazy axis.
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a face with that expression on it probably belongs on the dangerous side of the hot/crazy axis.
As if her drawing a portrait of Donald Trump using her own menstrual blood didn't put her there already...
Also, something to fuel Republicans' nightmares: