The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
-
@luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So ... lot's of mayonnaise on your burger?
Apparently I should not go to Chicago.
-
This post is deleted!
-
@el_heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Fucking Chicago.
Not even if Obamacare would pay the resulting medical bills.
-
@el_heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Sounds like a variant on the "chunky salsa" concept.
-
@el_heffe Fuck ketchup.
-
@gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@el_heffe Fuck ketchup.
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
@loopback0 I don't get the part about C#.
I'd also add this:
Swift
You've built a beautiful white horse | It won't leave your garden and will only eat apples
Rust
You tried to borrow a horse, but it didn't live long enough
-
HTML/CSS
You built a beautiful horse that works amazingly on your computer and browser. But on users' computers, it looks like the pig-lizard from Galaxy Quest after the transporter turned it inside-out.
-
@mott555 Go for the vulnerable spot!
-
@gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
-
@gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Now I see the problem.
The bottom half of the image is flipped horizontally.
-
@pleegwat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Now I see the problem.
The bottom half of the image is flipped horizontally.
But does it move?
Should it?I see no problem.
-
HTML/CSS
You saw people using bricks to build houses, so you made a horse out of bricks. You then spend the next 30 years developing newer, lighter bricks designed to be more horselike. The horse turns out to be too heavy for the ground in which it's placed and starts sinking, so you start replacing the existing soil with concrete.
-
@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But does it move?
Should it?From now on, I'm going to duct tape every website that autoplays videos or has a top bar that follows you as you scroll.
-
@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@loopback0 I don't get the part about C#.
Every C# library works great for its intended purpose. Every C# library works not so great if you do something that the original developer never envisioned you doing, like opening a file dialog in WPF.
Rust
You tried to borrow a horse, but it didn't live long enough
Best programming joke I've heard this year.
-
-
-
@boomzilla Meh. I remember, back in 1998 when John Glenn was going back into space, an email joke going around along the lines of "OK, everyone, we have 3 days to dress everyone up in gorilla costumes and bury the Statue of Liberty up to her neck in sand..."
-
-
-
-
Cornwall Community Police Service said:
A happy ending to a complicated car rental!
Sgt#121 - In late June a woman attends a car rental company in Cornwall and rents a vehicle. The vehicle was a black Nissan Sentra. The woman proceeds to Walmart where she parks and does some shopping. She returns to the parking lot, gets into a black vehicle, and proceeds home.
Around the same time, a man attended Walmart in his vehicle, a black Infiniti. After finishing his shopping, he returned to the parking lot to find his car was missing. The man contacted CCPS and reported his car stolen.
For the next two weeks, the woman drove around and used the black car for her regular everyday activities. This weekend, the woman re-attended the car rental company in order to return the vehicle. Once inside, the woman spoke to the Manger and commented about how unkept the inside of the vehicle was and the fact that there was a set of golf clubs in it as well. The woman was not impressed and handed over the keys. The Manager, now slightly confused, observed the keys to belong to an Infinity, a vehicle the woman did not rent. The Manager observed the vehicle and asked the woman where she got it. The woman told him it was the vehicle she had rented. The Manager informed her otherwise and then proceeded to ask her where she went after leaving the car rental two weeks ago. The woman informed him of her activities. The Manager asked the woman to attend Walmart with him in order to have her point out where she had parked. Upon arrival, the woman directed him to the area where she parked and there sat the Black Nissan Sentra. The Manager and the woman, who was now confused and a wee bit embarrassed herself, returned to the car rental company and contacted police, providing the information for the Infiniti and what took place. The Infinity came back as stolen on police systems as reported in June and CCPS attended to take the information of what took place.
Both the car rental company and the Infinity owner retrieved their vehicles and there was a happy, and funny ending to this story! However, the moral of the story is this….PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR KEY FOBS IN YOUR VEHICLE WHEN NOT BEING OPERATED, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT TAKE IT!
Folks, we just can’t make this stuff up!
Source: https://www.facebook.com/CornwallCommunityPolice/posts/2483270448365810
-
@bb36e said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR KEY FOBS IN YOUR VEHICLE WHEN NOT BEING OPERATED, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT TAKE IT!
Bloody hell!
-
@tsaukpaetra ... Is that, in fact, something that people actually do?
It would help to explain this news story that my wife and I were rather puzzled about.
(a toddler was missing for a few hours after his aunt put him in the wrong car while at a fast food restaurant; he was so quiet that the bloke whose car it was didn't notice him in the back seat even when he got home, and only saw him a couple of hours later when he went back out to the car).We couldn't understand how she even got into the other guy's car in the first place, but if people really are in the habit of leaving their key fobs in the car(!) then I guess it would explain that part.
Even so, normally you put the kids in the car when you're about to get in the car yourself and drive off, so I still don't really get it. I could maybe see leaving him in the car while you went inside to get the food (though that still seems like a bad idea), but then he wouldn't have been in the wrong car. All I can think is that she took him in with her to start off with, then took him back out and put him in the car, then went back in on her own. But why would you do that?
Either way I bet I know one person who won't be looking after her nephew for a while :)
-
@scarlet_manuka said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
if people really are in the habit of leaving their key fobs in the car(!) then I guess it would explain that part.
Also car keys (vice fobs) are not particularly high security. Many, many people have told me they've accidentally opened another car of the same make with their key before.
-
@heterodox said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@scarlet_manuka said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
if people really are in the habit of leaving their key fobs in the car(!) then I guess it would explain that part.
Also car keys (vice fobs) are not particularly high security. Many, many people have told me they've accidentally opened another car of the same make with their key before.
This has happened to my mother, yes. She couldn't turn the ignition however.
The funny thing is the car was of a completely different color. :/
-
@heterodox Because making them actually secure would cost an additional 3 cents?
-
@topspin PER KEY, you fucking commie.
-
@bb36e said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Both the car rental company and the Infinity owner retrieved their vehicles and there was a happy, and funny ending to this story! However, the moral of the story is this….PLEASE DO NOT LEAVE YOUR KEY FOBS IN YOUR VEHICLE WHEN NOT BEING OPERATED, YOU NEVER KNOW WHO MIGHT TAKE IT!
WTF!
First because it's "Infiniti", I mean seriously. At least spell it consistently, even if wrong.
Secondly because did the owner of the Infiniti not know the key fob WAS HIS CAR KEYS!? And, by extension, that he left his keys in the car all the time?
This explains the long lecture the Ford dealer gave me about how my RFID keys worked, as if I was a complete moron-- they probably HAD a complete moron not get it in the past.
-
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
they probably HAD a complete moron not get it in the past.
Exactly right.
For most seeming rules or instructions, there's a story about a moron having done exactly that in the past. It's why we can't have nice things. It's why (for example) my school's dress code keeps getting more and more specific. And why there are so many warning tags on things (e.g. do not iron clothes while wearing them)
-
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's why (for example) my school's dress code keeps getting more and more specific.
Yeah, it might also be due to smartasses, however.
-
@rhywden In teenagers, the two terms are essentially synonyms. As I'm sure you well know.
-
@rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'll have to be honest. When I saw the thumbnail with the messaging screen, I thought it was all going to be something to do with autocorrect.
-
@da-doctah It's staggering when you still find YouTube videos where the thumbnail fits the video, isn't it? It really is about the ducks.
-
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And why there are so many warning tags on things (e.g. do not iron clothes while wearing them)
The only solution to this is to remove the labels, not add them.
-
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And why there are so many warning tags on things (e.g. do not iron clothes while wearing them)
The only solution to this is to remove the labels, not add them.
Sometimes there's not enough warnings, though, where you actually need them. Like for my measuring instrument for the Franck-Hertz experiment - while it does sport a bog-standard DIN 7-pin connector, you cannot use a bog-standard cable because of shielding issues. Which you don't know about because it's mentioned absolutely nowhere.
When I mentioned that problem to my distributor I was met with a gasp: "But you cannot use a bog-standard cable! You might destroy the device!"
Yes, thank you for not telling someone about that in BIG SCARY LETTERS somewhere (after all, the device only costs 2,500€) and also for forgetting to supply me with your superspecial cable where one centimeter costs 1€.
-
-
@pie_flavor ERR_RHYME_WORD_WITH_SELF
-
@rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's why (for example) my school's dress code keeps getting more and more specific.
Yeah, it might also be due to smartasses, however.
-
@heterodox said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also car keys (vice fobs) are not particularly high security. Many, many people have told me they've accidentally opened another car of the same make with their key before.
Many years ago, my wife and I drove the same model of car, but different years. One night I drove my car to work and when I took the key out of the ignition, I realized that it was the key to my wife's car. I was a bit surprised that it was even possible to do that.
-
@el_heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@heterodox said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also car keys (vice fobs) are not particularly high security. Many, many people have told me they've accidentally opened another car of the same make with their key before.
Many years ago, my wife and I drove the same model of car, but different years. One night I drove my car to work and when I took the key out of the ignition, I realized that it was the key to my wife's car. I was a bit surprised that it was even possible to do that.
Considering how small the bit space is for keying....
-
-
@rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
When I mentioned that problem to my distributor I was met with a gasp: "But you cannot use a bog-standard cable! You might destroy the device!"
Yes, thank you for not telling someone about that in BIG SCARY LETTERS somewhere (after all, the device only costs 2,500€) and also for forgetting to supply me with your superspecial cable where one centimeter costs 1€.They'll be happy to sell you a replacement unit.