The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
For the luddites who don't facebook
Thank you for this.
Btw, manually pumping gas is a bad idea. You should use a motorized pump, obviously.
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@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@masonwheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What's it called if she actually is crazy and paranoid?
Ruining the joke?
I guess me too.
You're a bipolar, schizophrenic who hears voices and imagines conspiracies?
No, no, no. Damn, I sound so boring.
Not being any of those things (bipolar, schizophrenic, someone who hears voices, someone who imagines conspiracies) is probably for the best overall.
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Click to bignificate.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@karla I'm sorry, but do you want congress to spend the money they already have on helping the people they said they'd help or not?
I generally don't want congress to spend money on pretty much anything. But I'm with @djls45 's position.
Disagreeing with the vote is one thing...pretending he is somehow more superior for his opinion while not putting in any of his own money is quite another.
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Installed an extension called RESTed as an easy way to test my REST API.
Hint: URL field placeholder text.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
He's doing the same style of jokes with the same effectiveness that he did in 2008,
I find that I'm in complete agreement here.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Because that's Jon Stewart's schtick. He plays dumb and is frequently immediately contradicted by video clips saying exactly what he said they wouldn't say.
This is what turned me off of his show. It felt like an insult to my intelligence to have him set up the same unfunny joke over and over when you can see it coming a kilometre away
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I was the one with a problem.
Yes, this forum has nearly convinced me it's probably not worth it to actively seek out a mate.
I never sought one. I am satisfied with using XCFE 4 instead.
Filed Under: I ought to apologize for making a joke that bad. I won't, but I ought to.
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
e: Make sure to read the captions
God, I want that narrated. Made me crack up at work which hasn't happened in at least a couple months.
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Cut open one side of the mould and pull out the balls.
Sounds like part of a recipe for with a side of That's going to be a surprise all right.
Filed Under: Where's the rest of the recipe, I may need it someday.
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Really? Eight inches? Back in my day it was measured in feet!
Monsoons just ain't what they used to be...
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For some reason, the story of this man is fascinating to me.
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@heterodox The dude's a legend. I wouldn't go outside in less than three layers and a thick coat in Scotland, surprised his knob hasn't fallen off from frostbite
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@boomzilla as somebody who has never owned or driven a car, pumping gas is easier and less scary than pouring milk out of a jug into a cup.
Are these people scared of a system where you have to do the extremely difficult task of putting a thing into another thing and then pulling a lever and not pulling the thing out until it stops making noise?
How do they have children?
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@ben_lubar It's all new to them. Also, remember the people around here who were convinced that the little "stay on" levers on a gas pump were going to cause exploding gas stations? Or who worry that not having a switch on an outlet would electrocute them?
Fears are weird like that.
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Spoiler
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
That must fuck up a lot of Brits who drive in America. Here, unleaded is green and diesel is black (when we had leaded petrol that was red)
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@jaloopa
It's not even consistent within the US.In the region I live in, some pumping stations use Green handles for Unleaded and Black for Diesel (generally the stations affiliated with one specific gas distribution brand that uses Green and Yellow as their corporate color scheme). Others use Green for Diesel and Black for Unleaded. The really sane ones have different pumps for the three types of fuel (Diesel, "standard" Unleaded, and E85), but those are getting fewer and further between.
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@izzion Insanity! I bet they label ginger beer as ginger ale too
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
That must fuck up a lot of Brits who drive in America. Here, unleaded is green and diesel is black (when we had leaded petrol that was red)
Well, the diesel nozzles are supposed to be bigger than regular gas nozzles, so I'd expect some real problems if someone actually tried to pump that way. But...you know what they say about facts and jokes...
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@jaloopa
It's definitely a pain in the ass. Who has time to actually read while pumping gas?
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
diesel nozzles are supposed to be bigger than regular gas nozzles
So the only risk is petrol in a diesel vehicle?
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So the only risk is petrol in a diesel vehicle?
Yeah, but diesel is weird and not all stations have it so I imagine people buying it are pretty good about finding the correct pump.
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@izzion Insanity! I bet they label ginger beer as ginger ale too
That would require the US to have actual ginger beer.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
supposed to be bigger
I bet that was what she thought ... anyway I wouldn't mind she had a slight petrol smell
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@luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
had a slight petrol smell
I usually like the smell of gasoline. It's probably good I never drank any...
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Are these people scared of a system where you have to do the extremely difficult task of putting a thing into another thing and then pulling a lever and not pulling the thing out until it stops making noise?
Works for casinos.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Are these people scared of a system where you have to do the extremely difficult task of putting a thing into another thing ... and not pulling the thing out until it stops making noise?
*Cue obligatory penis joke*
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@doctorjones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Are these people scared of a system where you have to do the extremely difficult task of putting a thing into another thing ... and not pulling the thing out until it stops making noise?
*Cue obligatory penis joke*
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
How do they have children?
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Are these people scared of a system where you have to do the extremely difficult task of putting a thing into another thing and then pulling a lever and not pulling the thing out until it stops making noise?
How do they have children?
That's about as non as a sequitur can get. Children never stop making noise.
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
That must fuck up a lot of Brits who drive in America. Here, unleaded is green and diesel is black (when we had leaded petrol that was red)
That's the same colours I've seen in The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, France, Germany, and Italy. And Andorra. Did the EU do something right and standardize something for a change?
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@pleegwat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
That must fuck up a lot of Brits who drive in America. Here, unleaded is green and diesel is black (when we had leaded petrol that was red)
That's the same colours I've seen in The Netherlands, Belgium, Luxembourg, France, Germany, and Italy. And Andorra. Did the EU do something right and standardize something for a change?
Also, did the big green
DIESEL
sign attached to the pump station not tell them that it was a diesel pump?Also, at every gas station I've been to, there are three different grades of gasoline and only one type of diesel, but I guess that would be less obvious to someone who never looked at a gas pump before.
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@ben_lubar And the diesel is usually separated from the others (on the other side, along with a matching button)
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@ben_lubar It's more a joke because here in Oregon, if you call something green, people stampede to use it.
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@benjamin-hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ben_lubar And the diesel is usually separated from the others (on the other side, along with a matching button)
It was the bane of our existance back when I worked for EuropCar (a car rental company) where I would take reservations over the phone.
While we had an emergency line, said line was a bit understaffed in the evenings and thus we 1st-level grunts would sometimes get the calls intended for them. (I think I shared the incident where someone called us to report that his car didn't "work anymore", yet neglected to lead the call with "Oh, and the car's on fire.") That ranged from small problems ("The car is asking me to refill the oil. Do you know which type?") to medium ones ("I rented this moving van to transport my stuff from Germany to Switzerland. Now it's 6pm on a Friday and I find that the border is closed for moving vans weekdays after 6pm and completely closed on weekends! What do I do?" - "Find a hotel nearby until Monday?") to severe ones (Border police to the Netherlands: "Two of your customers just tried to smuggle a tiny amount of coke into the country. They'll stay with us for a while and we thought you might want to get your car back before they get out of prison again.")
I once even got a call from the military police at Ramstein (the base, not the band) asking us for the driver of a rental parked right in their "Don't even think of parking here!" zone.
That was during the Afghanistan war and the driver was indeed from that country.I don't think we got that car back.
Anyways, the calls where someone filled up the tank with Diesel or Gas, when it should have been the other way around, were numerous. 90% of the cases consisted of people telling us that they got about 100 meters away from the station when the engine died (which, as I understand it, necessitates a complete replacement of the engine). The rare event where the driver noticed before they
startedwrecked the engine was a cause for celebration (yes, seriously, we had a bowl of sweets at our supervisor's desk just for that!)And just once we had this lady:
Me: "Good evening, EuropCar, how can I help you?"
Woman: "Well, I'm at this gas station and I noticed that I filled up with gas instead of Diesel! What do I do?"
Me: internally celebrating: "Well, ma'am, whatever you do, please don't start the car and then we'll go from there."
Woman: "But I had to drive the car away from the fuel pumps because everyone was yelling at me for blocking their way! And now there's this light in the dashboard!"
Me: groansOh, and we had someone who was a bit overzealous with filling up the oil tank to the point where it overspilled and caught fire.
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@rhywden shorter: Never underestimate people's stupidity and unwillingness to think.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
That must fuck up a lot of Brits who drive in America. Here, unleaded is green and diesel is black (when we had leaded petrol that was red)
Well, the diesel nozzles are supposed to be bigger than regular gas nozzles, so I'd expect some real problems if someone actually tried to pump that way. But...you know what they say about facts and jokes...
Diesel nozzles are only larger at the high-flow pumps which service semi trucks. At most normal gas stations, they're the exact same size as the gas nozzles.
@izzion said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's not even consistent within the US.
In the region I live in, some pumping stations use Green handles for Unleaded and Black for Diesel (generally the stations affiliated with one specific gas distribution brand that uses Green and Yellow as their corporate color scheme). Others use Green for Diesel and Black for Unleaded. The really sane ones have different pumps for the three types of fuel (Diesel, "standard" Unleaded, and E85), but those are getting fewer and further between.I once nearly filled my diesel pickup with gas because my state uses black for gas, green for diesel. But I crossed over into Iowa, just a few miles away, and apparently the colors are different (green for gas, yellow for diesel) and by force of habit I grabbed the green handle.
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@mott555 Yeah, I think the only time I've ever had reason to pump any diesel was when I rented a truck to move across the country nearly 17 years ago. And mostly we just fueled up at truck stops where pretty much everything was diesel.
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