The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@loopback0 No shampoo? I am disappoint!
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@flabdablet said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Frying pan companies around the world should really talk to 3M about better glue. Post-It glue would be perfect. (Oh, and dog bowl companies too.)
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Shades of Betty Crocker. First came Hamburger Helper. Then there was Chicken Helper, and after that Tuna Helper.
And then along came this:
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@da-Doctah
Who posts a picture of himself when he is about to sneeze?
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
You can spot a Tibetan fortune cookie from miles away
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@DoctorJones Free
TibetTopics!
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Our resident Wannabe-Nazi-Party AfD doesn't have the brightest of bulbs among their ranks. This is an excerpt of a public debate in the state parliament of Sachsen-Anhalt :
President Gabriele Brakenbusch:
"Dear Mr. Farle, your speaking time is over."
Robert Farle (AfD):
"No. I've got 15 minutes of speaking time."
President Gabriele Brakenbusch:
"No, the 15 minutes are over. You've even overdrawn a bit, in fact."
Robert Farle (AfD):
"I'm reading only eleven minutes and 32 seconds."
President Gabriele Brakenbusch:
"That's the time of day."
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@Rhywden did he think he started at the hour exactly? I could then see why he thought that the time was how much time he'd spoke.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden did he think he started at the hour exactly? I could then see why he thought that the time was how much time he'd spoke.
Some of these guys don't really think all that much - for all their talks of "fake news", they are producing quite a lot of "alternative facts" themselves.
One good example of this happened recently when a prominent member of the AfD in Saxonia was positing an Official Inquiry why the state was trying to sweep a rape in the Maxim Gorki Park under the rug.
Only problem: There's no park under this name anywhere to be found. At least not in Germany, that is.
But to answer your question: If it was 11:32 and the guy had 15 minutes of speaking time then he couldn't have started on the hour. Unless they were letting him talk for 32 minutes which I rather doubt.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But to answer your question: If it was 11:32 and the guy had 15 minutes of speaking time then he couldn't have started on the hour. Unless they were letting him talk for 32 minutes which I rather doubt.
It wasn't clear to me whether "that's the time of day" included conflating hours/minutes and minutes/seconds, or whether it just meant that it was hh:11:32. If it was 32 minutes past 11 o'clock then no, it wouldn't make sense at all.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But to answer your question: If it was 11:32 and the guy had 15 minutes of speaking time then he couldn't have started on the hour. Unless they were letting him talk for 32 minutes which I rather doubt.
It wasn't clear to me whether "that's the time of day" included conflating hours/minutes and minutes/seconds, or whether it just meant that it was hh:11:32. If it was 32 minutes past 11 o'clock then no, it wouldn't make sense at all.
I guess it lost a bit in translation. But, yes, the guy was looking at a digital clock saying: "11:32" and probably thought it was some kind of timer.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"11:32" and probably thought it was some kind of timer.
Good thing there wasn't a brown person nearby, or he'd think it was a bomb.
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah
Who posts a picture of himself when he is about to sneeze?Fred Ott.
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah
Who posts a picture of himself when he is about to sneeze?This is what it reminded me of: http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_-edtlSmUBRU/S4bGgCXX3rI/AAAAAAAAAAc/fOoSdVIe5oc/S1600-R/blogger.JPG
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wannabe-Nazi-Party AfD
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
these guys don't really think all that much - for all their talks of "fake news", they are producing quite a lot of "alternative facts"
Future president then, you should bet on it and win some money to help you during the war.
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@dse said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wannabe-Nazi-Party AfD
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
these guys don't really think all that much - for all their talks of "fake news", they are producing quite a lot of "alternative facts"
Future president then, you should bet on it and win some money to help you during the war.
They have no chance whatsoever this year, considering they won't even get any of the votes that come from the Bundestag (which is 50% of the votes already).
(Our president is elected kind of weirdly)
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@aliceif said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Our president is elected kind of weirdly
A toll payed to history.
Just like the French one is weird too.
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@aliceif said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Our president is elected kind of weirdly
Some countries elect presidents weirdly; others elect weird presidents.
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@HardwareGeek
Where does a weird king fit in?
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek
Where does a weird king fit in?Perhaps you could adopt the French solution to that problem; I'm sure it could be made to fit.
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@HardwareGeek
Sounds like a Messi job
Our soccer players are good but not that good
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I wouldn't hire someone for that position who prescribed that something be done to the left radial artery, without knowing which foot it is.
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@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I wouldn't hire someone for that position who prescribed that something be done to the left radial artery, without knowing which foot it is.
Wouldn't be the first time that a surgery is performed on the wrong limb.
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wouldn't be the first time that a surgery is performed on the wrong limb.
http://www.nj.com/hudson/index.ssf/2010/01/wrong_lung_doc_working_again_a.html
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“apologizing, on behalf of you, to me, for how you have treated me these last two weeks.”
“And that apology is not accepted,”
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@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I wouldn't hire someone for that position who prescribed that something be done to the left radial artery, without knowing which foot it is.
Not to mention that the radial artery is in the arm, not the leg, but facts jokes.
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@HardwareGeek Does that mean the one in the leg is the cross-ply artery?
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@boomzilla The job of my dreams.
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@boomzilla Impressive. And especially fitting that it's the USS Gerald Ford, of whom it was said that he couldn't do two things at the same time, such as chewing gum and walking...
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Gerald Ford, of whom it was said that he couldn't do two things at the same time, such as chewing gum and walking...
Which is kind of funny, considering he was one of (?) the most athletic Presidents (he played football in college).
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Gerald Ford, of whom it was said that he couldn't do two things at the same time, such as chewing gum and walking...
Which is kind of funny, considering he was one of (?) the most athletic Presidents (he played football in college).
Apparently he stumbled slightly once when boarding Air Force One. Chevy Chase took it from there, and a myth was born.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
he played football in college
Are American football players well known for their gum chewing?
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@asdf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Wouldn't be the first time that a surgery is performed on the wrong limb.
When I was about to have my distal radius pinned the other week the nurse who was the first to do my pre-surgery checklist drew an arrow on my left arm and proceeded to write down 'left leg' on the checklist.
(She did, however, correct her own mistake running through the list again, and at least three more people checked the same list afterwards. The system works.)
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@CarrieVS said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
When I was about to have my distal radius pinned the other week the nurse who was the first to do my pre-surgery checklist drew an arrow on my left arm and proceeded to write down 'left leg' on the checklist.
"Left leg" for "left front leg" is forgivable, surely?
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bites @flabdablet
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@CarrieVS skritcha skritcha
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It's not long, so I'll just quote the whole thing:
There's a new Star Trek series starting up. Here's my proposal for an episode:
The crew discover a long-dead planet. The away team manages to figure out how the the extinct civilization's computer systems work. They power it on and find it's filled with cat videos and the occasional bottle flipping video.
The end.
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And if that doesn't make you laugh, this will:
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@Jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
he played football in college
Are American football players well known for their gum chewing?
More like their arrest records.