Internet of shit
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@Zerosquare said in Internet of shit:
@Luhmann said in Internet of shit:
Have you met the french toilet?
I didn't know they were called French. Here in France, they're called Turkish. And they're a rarity nowadays (fortunately).
From a medical standpoint (well, not that stand point!) squatting is actually a good position to defecate in, due to our intestine's location and shape.
You don't need such a
hole in the groundtoilet however, you can get the best of both worlds by simply using a wood block or similar to elevate your feet while sitting on the loo.
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@PleegWat said in Internet of shit:
It used to be though that if you went camping in France, both along the autoroute and on the campsite the large majority of toilets you'd encounter were squat toilets.
You're right, I wasn't thinking about those. Let's say that highways rest areas and campings are among the worst places for this.
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@Rhywden said in Internet of shit:
a wood block or similar to elevate your feet while sitting on the loo.
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@TimeBandit good setting for a micro horror story:
I left the bathroom, making sure to put the seat down. I have a light outside the room set to light up whenever I leave the seat up, just for fun. A couple of hours after I had gone to bed, I was awoken by the glow of my toilet seat LED. It seems like someone left the seat up after me.
I live alone.
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@bb36e
Sounds like a shitty mystery to me
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@Rhywden said in Internet of shit:
From a medical standpoint (well, not that stand point!) squatting is actually a good position to defecate in, due to our intestine's location and shape.
It’s apparently also a major saving on toilet paper, according to someone I used to (sort of) know some years ago. He was an ex-soldier, and at some point this subject came up, leading him to explain in more detail than probably most people there wanted to hear about his experiences with the advantages of taking a shit while squatting.
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@Gurth said in Internet of shit:
It’s apparently also a major saving on toilet paper
I'm immensely curious, as this implies that sitting is necessarily more prone to excess mess than squatting.
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@Tsaukpaetra probably because the anus is angled in such a way that the shit gets clean through when squatting but rubs off the rim when sitting. But that's just me guessing.
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Is this the new shit posting thread?
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@Gąska said in Internet of shit:
rubs off the rim when sitting. But that's just me guessing.
Yeah, it makes me wonder how they're , because I've definitely noticed that.
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@remi said in Internet of shit:
the manual is quite clear that if it's not a pedestrian, then no action is taken... I guess running over a dog is OK?
They don't want to be a party to any of the resulting lawsuits when it stops suddenly for a stray cat and gets rear-ended by 3 vehicles.
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@Polygeekery said in Internet of shit:
The gas station by my house "upgraded" their pumps last year to ones with screens that play GSTV. The first ones of those I saw had a mute button that would mute the TV until your transaction was done. No such luck on these, you have to hear their programming.
I am going to end up believing in a higher power one of these days.
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How to be the most cybersecure person in the country: have secretaries to do all the things for you, never use a computer yourself.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/15/world/asia/japan-cybersecurity-yoshitaka-sakurada.html
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Because a microwave is a complicated thing to use
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@TimeBandit All you need is one loud TV commercial saying "Alexa, microwave a 25-pound frozen turkey" and now thousands of microwaves across the country get destroyed!
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@mott555 said in Internet of shit:
@TimeBandit All you need is one loud TV commercial saying "Alexa, microwave a 25-pound frozen turkey" and now thousands of microwaves across the country get destroyed!
How sad. Alexa, play Despacito.
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@mott555 said in Internet of shit:
@TimeBandit All you need is one loud TV commercial saying "Alexa, microwave a 25-pound frozen turkey" and now thousands of microwaves across the country get destroyed!
: I know how we can improve microwave sales!
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@TimeBandit said in Internet of shit:
Because a microwave is a complicated thing to use
Question: is it meant to replace the ordinary Alexa?
If it is, then at least it makes it useful.
Edit:
The Alexa microwave is not like your Echo. It’s more like a companion device to your Echo, as it uses Alexa Connect Kit technology. To use it, you have to pair the microwave with an Echo speaker.
Yeah no, it's trash.
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@Zecc But it can reorder your popcorn, and fail to understand simple commands
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@izzion said in Internet of shit:
How to be the most cybersecure person in the country: have secretaries to do all the things for you, never use a computer yourself.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/15/world/asia/japan-cybersecurity-yoshitaka-sakurada.html
Delegation is a skill in of itself.
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@TimeBandit said in Internet of shit:
Because a microwave is a complicated thing to use
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@mott555 said in Internet of shit:
@TimeBandit All you need is one loud TV commercial saying "Alexa, microwave a 25-pound frozen turkey" and now thousands of microwaves across the country get destroyed!
Yes, but they're Alexa microwaves. Sounds like a win to me.
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So Amazon designed a device which requires a wireless connection, while its main function is known to interfere with wireless connections.
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@izzion said in Internet of shit:
How to be the most cybersecure person in the country: have secretaries to do all the things for you, never use a computer yourself.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/11/15/world/asia/japan-cybersecurity-yoshitaka-sakurada.html
You laugh, but he's one of the few remaining people on the planet whose personal data can't be easily found in darknet torrents.
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Not really. Even if he doesn't use computers personally, if someone else handles it for him, his personal data will end up in countless databases too.
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@TimeBandit said in Internet of shit:
Because a microwave is a complicated thing to use
I’ve ranted about this somewhere else before (not on TDWTF, surprisingly), but I hate that.
You get some (crappy) food that says “microwave for 2 minutes at 800W”, and that seems like simple enough instructions. However, stupid microwave producers think that instead of a dial to select power in Watt it’s better to give you completely random options like “Turkey” or what looks like “2 out of 3 steam”. What the heck do those mean?
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@topspin Did they forget to deliver the secret decoder ring with it or did you only buy the basic kit?
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@topspin said in Internet of shit:
You get some (crappy) food that says “microwave for 2 minutes at 800W”, and that seems like simple enough instructions. However, stupid microwave producers think that instead of a dial to select power in Watt it’s better to give you completely random options like “Turkey” or what looks like “2 out of 3 steam”. What the heck do those mean?
My personal microwave issue is that our old microwave's Popcorn button popped my favorite type of microwave popcorn perfectly, but the new one burns it. :(
(They both seem to have been a shortcut for "3:30 at 100%".)
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@Parody: that's easy to solve! You only need to:
- buy an IoT microwave
- accept the EULA
- connect it to your network (shouldn't take longer than 12 hours or so)
- sign up for the service
- wait until you get the activation email
- enter your credentials a few times using the numeric keypad on the microwave
- let it download the updates (they're pretty small, less than 50 GB)
- reboot the microwave
- enter the network settings again (since the update wiped them)
- install the Microwave app on your smartphone
- allow it to access your microphone, camera, contacts, data, GPS, basically everything else
- pair the microwave with your smartphone
- find out which entry in the hamburger menu leads to manual settings
- experiment with the values until your popcorn is just right
- try to save the settings
- enter your credentials to access your account
- discover you can't save settings with the free version
- enable the $3.99/month "cloud-based Unlimited Microwave Experience™" option
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@Zerosquare While that sounds like a good solution, for now I'm sticking with my workaround: pressing 3. (== 3 minutes on High)
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@Zerosquare
What, you mean you pay a subscription and that's it? All your problems are then solved?As if.
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@kazitor welcome to the forums!
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@topspin said in Internet of shit:
@TimeBandit said in Internet of shit:
You get some (crappy) food that says “microwave for 2 minutes at 800W”, and that seems like simple enough instructions. However, stupid microwave producers think that instead of a dial to select power in Watt it’s better to give you completely random options like “Turkey” or what looks like “2 out of 3 steam”. What the heck do those mean?The microwave in my kitchen has six settings, four of which for some reason are numbered (I through IIII), plus two others for defrosting and … something. The manual, though, has a little table with the wattages associated with each. Solution: a marking pen.
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@kazitor This is English, not Latin.
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@Parody said in Internet of shit:
@Zerosquare While that sounds like a good solution, for now I'm sticking with my workaround: pressing 3. (== 3 minutes on High)
Popcorn is done when the popping slows down.
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@PleegWat said in Internet of shit:
@Parody said in Internet of shit:
@Zerosquare While that sounds like a good solution, for now I'm sticking with my workaround: pressing 3. (== 3 minutes on High)
Popcorn is done when the popping slows down.
Sadly, my microwave doesn't have a button for "listen to the bag and stop when the popping slows down in case I'm not right next to the microwave at the time." Sounds like an opportunity for those Alexa-based microwaves, though!
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@Parody And I actually have a hot air based popcorn machine, so I haven't made popcorn in the microwave in ages.
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@PleegWat said in Internet of shit:
@Parody And I actually have a hot air based popcorn machine, so I haven't made popcorn in the microwave in ages.
My grandmother got one of those in the early '80s and made popcorn all the time for us while we were watching TV at night. I'd help put in the popcorn and put the butter in the little melting tray on top. Good times. :)
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- find out that "some users may experience" an issue with manual settings sometimes defaulting to "Cold Turkey" where upon reaching zero the timer wraps around to 99:99 and continues heating while the touchscreen appears unresponsive; this will be fixed in the next update roll-up, and we're sorry for the inconvenience
- upon removing your burnt popcorn you are asked to please rate your microwave experience using the dedicated smiley/frowny buttons on the device
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@Parody said in Internet of shit:
Sadly, my microwave doesn't have a button for "listen to the bag and stop when the popping slows down in case I'm not right next to the microwave at the time." Sounds like an opportunity for those Alexa-based microwaves, though!
Clearly what it needs is an RFID chip embedded in the popcorn packet and a reader in the microwave, so it can know the URL from which to retrieve information on at what setting and how long to heat the popcorn.
A better solution, though, as far as I’m concerned, is to simply get rid of popcorn altogether.
If you put butter and salt on it, it tastes like salty butter.
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@Gurth said in Internet of shit:
A better solution, though, as far as I’m concerned, is to simply get rid of popcorn altogether.
I like popcorn, especially salted popcorn, providing it isn't too salty. Once had some where the amount of salt was far too much; not a good experience!
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@Gurth said in Internet of shit:
popcorn packet
Glue-flavoured popcorn?
I mean sure it's not as bad as pre-popped.
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@topspin My microwave has those silly options but also has the seemingly simple "power level" and "time".
Power level only has 100%, 70%, 50%, 30% and 10% as options
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@dkf said in Internet of shit:
I like popcorn, especially salted popcorn, providing it isn't too salty. Once had some where the amount of salt was far too much; not a good experience!
It's a tough balance. I rarely get a good mix from the folks at the movie theater I go to occasionally, so I grab a couple of salt packets and add some after working my way through the decent top layer to the less flavorful middle. The bottom is often a bit too salty, but that's the price you pay for some yummy popcorn and a distraction during the half-hour of previews. Well, that and eight bucks.
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@Zerosquare said in Internet of shit:
@Parody: that's easy to solve! You only need to:
- buy an IoT microwave
- accept the EULA
- connect it to your network (shouldn't take longer than 12 hours or so)
- sign up for the service
- wait until you get the activation email
- enter your credentials a few times using the numeric keypad on the microwave
- let it download the updates (they're pretty small, less than 50 GB)
- reboot the microwave
- enter the network settings again (since the update wiped them)
- install the Microwave app on your smartphone
- allow it to access your microphone, camera, contacts, data, GPS, basically everything else
- pair the microwave with your smartphone
- find out which entry in the hamburger menu leads to manual settings
- experiment with the values until your popcorn is just right
- try to save the settings
- enter your credentials to access your account
- discover you can't save settings with the free version
- enable the $3.99/month "cloud-based Unlimited Microwave Experience™" option
That's far too much work. Instead, just slow the electricity down a little by tying a few knots in the microwave's power cord.
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@anotherusername said in Internet of shit:
That's far too much work. Instead, just slow the electricity down a little by tying a few knots in the microwave's power cord.
My own Physics teacher once demonstrated an experiment which didn't work until he made a knot into the power cord.
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@Rhywden Yeah, it would add some impedance to the cord. I'm actually really curious whether it'd have an effect on the operation of the microwave, other than potentially making the cord get warm. Someone ought to try it...
edit: if I'm not mistaken, microwaves are primarily resistive loads, so adding some inductance might actually improve its power factor slightly, from the power company's point of view.
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Resistive loads have a power factor of 1 (ideal), by definition. Do you mean capacitive?