The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jbert I should re-read that. I read it when I was like 14 or something so I probably missed some stuff.
I loved 2010 as well. The movie was kind of a mess though.
There's 2061 too. It's been a couple decades since I read it, so I don't really remember it anymore...
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's really weird if you haven't read the book.
I've watched the movie and i was like 'umm..okay'. If i read the book would it make me go "Oh! WOW!" or it's more of the good ol 'ummm....ermmm..okay..' ?
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jbert I should re-read that. I read it when I was like 14 or something so I probably missed some stuff.
I loved 2010 as well. The movie was kind of a mess though.
There's 2061 too. It's been a couple decades since I read it, so I don't really remember it anymore...
Everything past 2010 was "Clarke, go home, you're on drugs", from what I remember. (I think there was also 3001 which was just a short story thing, no?)
Then again, I enjoy PKD these days, I might have to read them again and see if I think differently of them.
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@stillwater said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's really weird if you haven't read the book.
I've watched the movie and i was like 'umm..okay'. If i read the book would it make me go "Oh! WOW!" or it's more of the good ol 'ummm....ermmm..okay..' ?
More like the first. I do remember the movie being slow. I don't remember the same feeling in the book.
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
(I think there was also 3001 which was just a short story thing, no?)
Oh yeah, there is... I couldn't see it clearly while sitting here. (The '3001' is perpendicular to the spine, while 2010/2061 are parallel with it) It's a full size book.
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Everything past 2010 was "Clarke, go home, you're on drugs", from what I remember. (I think there was also 3001 which was just a short story thing, no?)
3001 was a full novel; I use it to prop up my monitor. (The only good use for it.)
2061 was awful, but 3001 is a whole new level. Everybody lives halfway up the space elevator and he meets up with the society for creative anachronisms which builds real robot dragons and his butler is a criminal whose mind was wiped and I honestly don't remember any more than that but it was awful trust me. (The novel is about future-people finding Frank Poole frozen and still floating around and they bring him back to life using Mass Effect 2 technology and then torture him with 200 pages of tedium.)
Oh and is that the one where like Dave and Hal combine into a single brain which they call like "DaveHal" or something even more retarded or was that 2061.
Anyway, the book and the movie are separate works. The movie is based on Clarke's earlier story "Sentinel". Kubrick asked Clarke to expand the story to novel-length so he could make a film of it, Clarke did, but Kubrick used virtually nothing from the novel and came up with his own thing. (That's not fair, he used the whole HAL malfunctioning subplot, but the not really the overarching story. But it's different enough that Clarke obviously saw it as a totally different work, see below about 2010.)
The film is mysterious on purpose. The book loses a lot by explaining everything in great detail, IMO.
Interestingly, in planning 2001, Kubrick changed the planet from Saturn to Jupiter because he didn't feel he had the special effects chops to do the rings. The first novel still takes place around Saturn. But the novel 2010 is a sequel to the film 2001 (no, really), so it takes place around Jupiter.
And BTW if you a fan of the novels "explain everything, leave no mystery" style you'd probably like the sequel film 2010. Which is based much more closely on the novel 2010 and doesn't have any of Kubrick's touches. (It suffers from being compared to 2001, but it actually is a really solid and entertaining sci-fi movie on its own with almost as impressive FX work. Also if you're a Kerbal player, it has a good rendition of how terrifying an aerobraking maneuver would actually be if you were on the ship. That's how the Soviets beat the Americans to recovering Discovery-- they were willing to take the aerobrake risk.)
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
3001 was a full novel
I thought someone was taking the piss when they went 2061 and then 3001.
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Everybody lives halfway up the space elevator and he meets up with the society for creative anachronisms which builds real robot dragons and his butler is a criminal whose mind was wiped
I thought you were taking the piss too. But holy shit this is the actual fucking plot. What was the writer smoking?
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And BTW if you a fan of the novels "explain everything, leave no mystery" style you'd probably like the sequel film 2010
I'm not finding it anywhere on the interwebz. Been wanting to watch it for a looooooong time.
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@stillwater said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I thought someone was taking the piss when they went 2061 and then 3001.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also if you're a Kerbal player, it has a good rendition of how terrifying an aerobraking maneuver would actually be if you were on the ship.
I don't know about that. Jim Kerman seemed pretty happy and excited about the whole thing. Until the ship blew up…
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@dkf Shirley you mean Jeb. Or did that change since the beta (or was it alpha?)
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Confining ourselves to 2001 as a movie only, there's this Carnac the Magnificent bit from back in the era:
A: 2001: A Space Odyssey, and a hairy sidewalk.
Q: Name two things you should never see unless you're stoned.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Anyway, the book and the movie are separate works. The movie is based on Clarke's earlier story "Sentinel". Kubrick asked Clarke to expand the story to novel-length so he could make a film of it, Clarke did, but Kubrick used virtually nothing from the novel and came up with his own thing. (That's not fair, he used the whole HAL malfunctioning subplot, but the not really the overarching story. But it's different enough that Clarke obviously saw it as a totally different work, see below about 2010.)
That's not the way Clarke himself put it. From "Back to 2001", which I have as a sort of foreword (though it's after the nominal foreword) in my copy of the book:
2001 [the movie] is often said to be 'based on' 'The Sentinel', but that is a gross over-simplification [...] It needed a lot more material to make the movie, and some of it came from 'Encounter in the Dawn' (a.k.a. 'Expedition to Earth'), and four other short stories. But most of it was wholly new.
[...]
But why write a novel, you may well ask, when we were aiming to make a movie? [...] Perhaps because he realised that I had low tolerance for boredom, Stanley suggested that before we embarked on the drudgery of the script, we let our imaginations soar freely by writing a complete novel, from which we would later derive the script. (And, hopefully, a little cash.)This is more or less the way it worked out, though towards the end, novel and screenplay were being written simultaneously, with feedback in both directions. Thus I rewrote some sections after seeing the movie rushes - a rather expensive method of literary creation, which few other authors can have enjoyed.
The decision to go with Jupiter rather than Saturn for 2010 was I think partly for consistency with the film and partly because the Voyager missions (which Clarke says were what changed his mind about writing a sequel) showed the moons of Jupiter to be highly individual and interesting:
Distant worlds about which absolutely nothing was known when Stanley and I started our collaboration suddenly became real places, with fantastic surface conditions. Who would ever have imagined satellites entirely covered with ice-floes, or volcanoes spurting sulphur a hundred kilometres into space? Science fiction could now be made far more convincing by science fact. 2010: Odyssey Two was about the real Jovian satellite system.
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
2061 was awful, but 3001 is a whole new level.
Oh and is that the one where like Dave and Hal combine into a single brain which they call like "DaveHal" or something even more retarded"Halman". And yes. Also, they have to save the day by infecting the monolith on Europa with humanity's nastiest computer viruses. Which, the book explains, are not about corrupting code but about tricking the computer into running an infinitely long program.
I didn't mind 2061 that much, but 3001 really didn't need to happen.
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@xaade I don't get your kind of humor.
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@xaade I guess comparison shopping doesn't always repay the time you invest in it.
@Jbert: two different orders from two different pizza places, with different discounts, delivery fees, and taxes, nevertheless managed to be the same total to the cent. It's a mildly amusing coincidence, which is enough for this thread.
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@jbert said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade I don't get your kind of humor.
Cheezy bread NO cheese
That's the only thing funny I saw in there.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I've found TRWTF.
So it's basically just dry bread?
edit: 'd by @Zecc
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
So it's basically just dry bread?
I guess some people just hate themselves.
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@anotherusername also, why are all of the toppings RIGHT HALF? I'd expect "The Works" to already have most if not all those toppings, so does that mean they're supposed to put double toppings on the right half, or no toppings on the left half? I'm so confused.
I'd expect if you customize it by halves, they probably just list all of the toppings that go on each half separately, to make it less confusing. So that probably really does mean that the left half just has sauce and cheese. At least, I hope it has sauce and cheese; they're not listed.
So they got half a pizza that's "The Works" (minus the ham), half a pizza that's cheezy bread, and a cheezy bread that isn't.
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@hungrier yeah, that's what I was originally thinking of, but then I realized that sauce and cheese weren't listed at all, so they were probably automatic unless you ask for no sauce or cheese.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
a cheezy bread that isn't.
Wife likes plain breadsticks. Marco's offers plain breadsticks and cheesy sticks at location, but online they rolled it into one offering, and you have to manually remove the sauce and cheese.
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
half a pizza that's cheezy bread
And sauce. Daughter likes cheese pizza.
Doesn't matter anyway, they bungled it and put the tomatoes on the other half only. So a works without ham and tomatoes, and a cheese pizza that also has tomatoes....
Worked out in the end, daughter found out she likes tomatoes on her cheese pizza.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Worked out in the end, daughter found out she likes tomatoes on her cheese pizza.
Blessing in disguise!
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That describes my position at the moment - I'm a team leader with a team comprised of myself.
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
People with mutated cloven hooves instead of feet should exit the building using the fire escape. We don't want the lobby scuffed.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Worked out in the end, daughter found out she likes tomatoes on her cheese pizza.
Well that's fortunate, since the sauce is made from tomatoes.
Yes, I know, with small children, food isn't so simple as that.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Worked out in the end, daughter found out she likes tomatoes on her cheese pizza.
Well that's fortunate, since the sauce is made from tomatoes.
Yes, I know, with small children, food isn't so simple as that.
For one of my friends the reason for that is 'the seeds' in whole tomatoes. Personally I like to suck the seeds out like a vampire
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@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Personally I like to suck the seeds out like a vampire
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@m_adams
A really aggressive play for the "Alternate Lover's Apartment" market... times must be getting desperate at Costco...
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@izzion said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@m_adams
A really aggressive play for the "Alternate Lover's Apartment" market... times must be getting desperate at Costco...I’m going to tell my husband that Costco says I need to get a new mattress because of him. Not that the lazy Ho has turned over any of my cut over to me in the last twenty some years. (JK, alright?)...
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@boner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
friend request had been idling in his inbox for like 6 years
When I moved out here from Pennsylvania, there was this one girl I knew from back there who had recently moved out here as well. And I was kind of interested in her. (Not that it had anything to do with my decision to move out here; that was pure coincidence. Would have been a nice side benefit, though.) So when I moved in I sent her a friend request and a message that I'd just moved into the area and she's one of only two people I actually know, and we ought to hang out sometime.
...nothing. No response. Oh well. I moved on with my life, and ended up meeting someone else, and we got married.
Over a year later, a week or two after getting home from my honeymoon, I get a notice that she finally accepted my friend request.
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@masonwheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Over a year later, a week or two after getting home from my honeymoon, I get a notice that she finally accepted my friend request.
Come on then, Don't leave the story hanging!
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@stillwater said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@masonwheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Over a year later, a week or two after getting home from my honeymoon, I get a notice that she finally accepted my friend request.
Come on then, Don't leave the story hanging!
Nothing happened. It was a mass-acceptance by an auditor clearing out a queue.
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@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jbert said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade I don't get your kind of humor.
Cheezy bread NO cheese
That's the only thing funny I saw in there.
Is it boneless?
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#Please enter a longer post
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It was a mass-acceptance by an auditor clearing out a queue.
I suppose that's as good an explanation as any...
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Things my dad likes to forward...
===
IRISH TALKING CLOCK
After closing time at the bar, a drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends. He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
'What's that big brass gong?' one of the guests asked..
'It's not a gong It's a talking clock,' the drunk replied.
'A talking clock? Seriously?' asked his astonished friend.
'YUP, it is' replied the drunk.
'How's it work?' the friend asked, squinting at it.
'Watch,' the drunk replied. He picked up the mallet, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back.
The three stood looking at one another for a moment......
Suddenly, someone on the other side of the wall screamed,
'You ASSHOLE! It's 3:15 in the MORNING!'
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Other highlights in thread: