The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!)
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@Yamikuronue said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Vault_Dweller said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Those are my initials excluding my surname, i.e. first + middle name.
My birth certificate initials are BJ.
Holy shit, did you steal my birth certificate?
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@ben_lubar Shh, not so loud, it'll hurt my bid for the presidency!
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@cabrito said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Arantor said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Boner I don't get it :(
Levogire and ...
They couldn't have gone with L and R, that would have been too simple.
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@Zecc said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
They couldn't have gone with L and R, that would have been too simple.
Fun fact: it's L and D in moon language, so I realized something is weird about it only after the complaint about it not being obvious was raised :P
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@Onyx said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Zecc said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
They couldn't have gone with L and R, that would have been too simple.
Fun fact: it's L and D in moon language, so I realized something is weird about it only after the complaint about it not being obvious was raised :P
And it's O.S. and O.D. in optical prescriptions.
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@Karla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
**Husband says I have to turn in my geek card until I watch it all the way through and like it.
Husband is right. In fact, husband's opinion is rather moderate. Check this guy out:
She Don't Like Firefly – 02:23
— Mikey Mason
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@masonwheeler said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Karla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
**Husband says I have to turn in my geek card until I watch it all the way through and like it.
Husband is right. In fact, husband's opinion is rather moderate. Check this guy out:
She Don't Like Firefly – 02:23
— Mikey MasonYeah, he knew from the beginning that our geekiness had only a small overlap. I wasn't into games or comics.
He says he sees me as a Zoe with the technical mind of a Kaylee (I'm hoping this is a compliment).
I just get so disappointed in single season series. I like to get invested in a show watch several seasons.
Off the top of my head show that ended too early: "Dead Like Me", Witcblade" ... I'm sure there are more.
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@Karla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Off the top of my head show that ended too early: "Dead Like Me"
+
I'm sure there are more.
"Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23" would be on my list.
Most shows end too late, though: Misfits and How I Met Your Mother, for example, had both become unwatchable by the time they were canceled.
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@asdf said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
"Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23" would be on my list.
Yes...I really liked that show.
I both I identified with the bitch and the goodie goodie (not quite sure how that works),
Never watched Misfits but never finished HIMYM.
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@Karla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
I both I identified with the bitch and the goodie goodie (not quite sure how that works),
It's probably because Krysten Ritter can make any character relatable, even a complete sociopath like Chloe. She's one of my favorite actresses.
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@Karla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Yes...I really liked that show.
BTW: It's a shame that ABC thought so little of the show that they didn't even air the episodes of the first two seasons in the correct order and canceled the show mid-season. How can you order a second season of a show and then totally ruin it? That's just cruel.
(To anyone who might think about watching the show on Netflix: The episode order is wrong there as well. Look up the correct order on IMDB (FAQ section) before watching it, or the second season won't make any sense.)
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@asdf said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Krysten Ritter
Now watching Jessica Jones.
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This maths test can predict your favourite film. Not sure how it works but it does. Mine was Star Wars. DON'T PEEP!
Pick a number between 1 and 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3 to that number.
Multiply by 3 again.
Add the 2 digits together.
Now discover your favourite film!
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Oliver Twist.
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Star Wars.
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Forrest Gump.
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Saving Private Ryan.
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Jaws.
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Grease.
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The Joy of Anal Sex with Male Sheep & Oiled-Up Lady Boys.
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Mary Poppins.
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@PJH I got the same result. Did you pick 1+4/9 as your starting number too?
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@Zecc said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
4/9
@PJH said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Pick a number between 1 and 9.
Nice try, but FAIL.
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@Zecc said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Did you pick 4/9 as your starting number too?
No, 34/9, being - as pointed out, between 1 and 9.
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@obeselymorbid That was a typo. I meant 1+4/9
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@PJH said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Add the 2 digits together.
Since I originally picked the transcendental number e, I'm having a bit of problem adding the digits together…
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@dkf Really, you're having trouble adding an infinite number of digits together? However, I see your real problem:
@PJH said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Add the 2 digits together.
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@PJH I added one to my number and then multiplied by nine instead, and by golly I got the same result!
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Once upon a time, there were three kingdoms, all bordering on the same lake. For centuries, these kingdoms had fought over an island in the middle of that lake. One day, they decided to have it out, once and for all.
The first kingdom was quite rich, and sent an army of 25 knights, each with three squires. The night before the battle, the knights jousted and cavorted as their squires polished armor, cooked food, and sharpened weapons. The second kingdom was not so wealthy, and sent only 10 knights, each with 2 squires. The night before the battle, the knights cavorted and sharpened their weapons as the squires polished armor and prepared dinner. The third kingdom was very poor, and only sent one elderly knight with his sole squire. The night before the battle, the knight sharpened his weapon, while the squire, using a looped rope, slung a pot high over the fire to cook while he prepared the knight's armor.
The next day, the battle began. All the knights of the first two kingdoms had cavorted a bit too much (one should never cavort while sharpening weapons and jousting) and could not fight. The squire of the third kingdom could not rouse the elderly knight in time for combat. So, in the absence of the knights, the squires fought.
The battle raged well into the late hours, but when the dust finally settled, a solitary figure limped from the carnage. The lone squire from the third kingdom dragged himself away, beaten, bloodied, but victorious.
And it just goes to prove, the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.
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@aliceif said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Not
FOOD_NOT_FOUND
?Getting upvoted by @hungrier makes this post even better.
Thanks!
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An oldie:
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@RaceProUK Who names their PKs and FKs with the suffix "key"?
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@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@RaceProUK Who names their PKs and FKs with the suffix "key"?
The sort of person using Access.
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@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@RaceProUK Who names their PKs and FKs with the suffix "key"?
When I'm designing SQL models I like "key" for UUIDs and "id" for integers.
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@pydsigner why not
uuid
?
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@RaceProUK Interesting that “
Student
” and “Teacher
” were (presumably) chosen to be the endpoints of that relationship, ethics-wise…
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@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@pydsigner why not
uuid
?It's longer, especially verbally, and smacks of Hungarian notation?
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@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Who names their PKs and FKs with the suffix "key"?
Enlighten me please, what does the "K" in PK and FK stand for again?
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@dkf said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@RaceProUK Interesting that “
Student
” and “Teacher
” were (presumably) chosen to be the endpoints of that relationship, ethics-wise…Judging by the prefices
tbl
andtrel
I'd say the table on the right is representing a many-to-many relationship.Edit: okay, this does not in any way contradict what you said.
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@Vault_Dweller said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Who names their PKs and FKs with the suffix "key"?
Enlighten me please, what does the "K" in PK and FK stand for again?
Kang
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@Vault_Dweller said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Who names their PKs and FKs with the suffix "key"?
Enlighten me please, what does the "K" in PK and FK stand for again?
Krispy
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@Vault_Dweller said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
what does the "K" in PK and FK stand for again?
Krusty
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@Jarry
Because it's not a universally unique integer, duh.
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@Jarry said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Hey, do not disparage tools made to make stuff easier to noobs!
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@anonymous234
In database land, "making things easier to noobs" is disparagable all on its own.
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@asdf said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
@Karla said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Off the top of my head show that ended too early: "Dead Like Me"
+
I'm sure there are more.
"Don't Trust the B---- in Apartment 23" would be on my list.
Most shows end too late, though: Misfits and How I Met Your Mother, for example, had both become unwatchable by the time they were canceled.
You're telling me. I still don't think I finished watching the last season of misfits. I guess that's what happens when 90% of the original cast gets replaced.
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@dangeRuss said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
I guess that's what happens when 90% of the original cast gets replaced
100% before the end. But they'd all changed their powers multiple times by then anyway
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@dangeRuss said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
I still don't think I finished watching the last season of misfits.
I didn't manage to watch the second half of last season, either. Both the story and the acting had deteriorated so much at that point that I felt more embarrassed than entertained.
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@asdf said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Both the story and the acting had deteriorated so much at that point that I felt more embarrassed than entertained.
i know, right? there's better acting on "Days of our Lives" for flips sake!
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@izzion And that's how you end up with the noobs using crappy NoSQL solutions because it's the only thing they understand since the relational ones are riddled with confusing and unnecessary (for them) crap.
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@anonymous234
Clearly we need a government agency to enforce an SQL certification process before you're allowed to work with data. #DBAjobsmatter
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@izzion #foreignkeysmatter
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@loopback0
These foreign tables, they aren't sending us their best data. I will build the yuuugest trigger to make our table great again!
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@izzion said in The nerdy jokes thread (bonus original title mode!):
Clearly we need a government agency to enforce an SQL certification process before you're allowed to work with data.
Meeting yesterday:
We should add $feature to $thing.
Everyone who knows how is too busy.
Yeah, not now; it's not urgent. But or could do it; they know how to write SQL.
(to myself, not aloud) 1. My SQL experience is both very limited and rather stale (haven't used it in >5 years); letting me touch the DB is probably not the best idea. 2. WTF does $feature have to do with the DB in the first place? It's parsing a log file.
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@HardwareGeek
"Yeah, but we need to search the log file and SQL is for searching, right?"
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