Exact Instructions
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Shared to my company slack with the caption "Sums up software development"
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@Yamikuronue this is mean to the kid, but sometimes I want to see API documentation writers cry as well...
Filed under: Also, fuck SOAP, not even the people who are writing the "standards" know how that shit works
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@Onyx said in Exact Instructions:
sometimes I want to see API documentation writers cry as well
Join the club
@Onyx said in Exact Instructions:
Also, fuck SOAP
Also that club
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@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
Shared to my company slack with the caption "Sums up software development"
ooooh man those get craaaazy!
:-)
hold on, i need to get my popcorn to watch this!
okay! ready!
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@RaceProUK said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
Is it bad I clicked that, expecting it to do something?
LOL me too.
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@RaceProUK <click> umm <clickclickclick> ok, it doesn't do anything
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@RaceProUK said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
Is it bad I clicked that, expecting it to do something?
I thought it was a spoilers expand thing
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About halfway through there things got to the point where I would have started debugging the compiler rather than trying to fix my code. :P
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@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
Shared to my company slack with the caption "Sums up software development"
Finally watched the video. I must say, it was pretty damn funny :D
@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
"Sums up software development"
Well… yeah
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If there is something you would like to see us attempt in a similar fashion (...) leave a comment.
"But Dad, I don't want to play this game anymore!"
"You shut your mouth son, Daddy needs some YouTube views. Get your pen and paper or it's ol' Mr. Pants Belt for ya."
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@masonwheeler
It's so much more convenient to debug the compiler when it's in Clue-by-Four range.
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@masonwheeler said in Exact Instructions:
About halfway through there things got to the point where I would have started debugging the compiler rather than trying to fix my code.
I'd say it might even make sense to develop a better language first and write a compiler from scratch, but my head nearly exploded while trying to imagine the real-world analogy to that. It would most likely include time travel, a circle in the family tree and a paradox.
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@asdf said in Exact Instructions:
a circle in the family tree and a paradox.
yeah, any plan that involves creating a recursive paradox is in all probability a bad plan (TM)
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@accalia ...because in order to understand it, you must first understand recursive paradoxes?
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The real issue is the DPI (Dad Programming Interface) is inconsistent. "Get two pieces of bread" works pretty reliably (doesn't try to pull them through the packaging, for instance), but other commands require variable levels of specificity to do what they want. I did appreciate when he began to stick the knife in the peanut butter handle first.
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@masonwheeler said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia ...because in order to understand it, you must first understand recursive paradoxes?
that and unless you are literally the luckiest son of a bitch in the entire multiverse recursive paradoxes have a nasty tendency to puch a hole straight through reality into the dungeon dimensions.
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@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
recursive paradoxes have a nasty tendency to puch a hole straight through reality into the dungeon dimensions
Well, if the paradox means the end of the world as we know it, then our timeline is tail recursive, right? So we just eliminate tail recursion, unroll the loop and: Boom! Linear timeline again!
…Duh!
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@asdf
INB4 about how you cannot fully unroll a loop unless you know the number of iterations. Let's just ignore that nasty "little" problem with my approach.
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@masonwheeler said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
the dungeon dimensions.
...do I even want to know?
not unless you know the wizard rincewind. he's usually involved in fixing up incursions from the dungeon dimensions, usually against his will.
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@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
@masonwheeler said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
the dungeon dimensions.
...do I even want to know?
not unless you know the wizard rincewind. he's usually involved in fixing up incursions from the dungeon dimensions, usually against his will.
I put on my robe and wizard hat
Also related:
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@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
a nasty tendency to puch a hole straight through reality
"Push" and "punch" both work here, but it's easier if you don't try to use both at the same time. ;)
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@dangeRuss said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
@masonwheeler said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
the dungeon dimensions.
...do I even want to know?
not unless you know the wizard rincewind. he's usually involved in fixing up incursions from the dungeon dimensions, usually against his will.
I put on my robe and wizzard hat
FTFY
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@CarrieVS said in Exact Instructions:
@dangeRuss said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
@masonwheeler said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
the dungeon dimensions.
...do I even want to know?
not unless you know the wizard rincewind. he's usually involved in fixing up incursions from the dungeon dimensions, usually against his will.
I put on my robe and wizzard hat
FTFY
I think I ed
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@CarrieVS said in Exact Instructions:
@dangeRuss said in Exact Instructions:
I think I ed
I probably should've looked him up first.
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@djls45 said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
a nasty tendency to puch a hole straight through reality
"Push" and "punch" both work here, but it's easier if you don't try to use both at the same time. ;)
Yeah, but if you do use both at the same time..... Dungeon dimensions
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Do you hear them buzzing? Oh gods, the tentac-agckk.....
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@djls45 said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
a nasty tendency to puch a hole straight through reality
"Push" and "punch" both work here, but it's easier if you don't try to use both at the same time. ;)
In the zeitgeist of the age, I suggest we putsch a hole straight through reality.
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@RaceProUK said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
Is it bad I clicked that, expecting it to do something?
What are you...
.... Wait a second....
Carry on. ;)
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Remove a slice of white bread from the bag. Place the slice flat on the bench. Unscrew the lid from the peanut butter jar. Put the lid aside. Grasp the table knife by its handle. Use the blade of the table knife to scoop approximately 20ml of peanut butter from the jar and spread it evenly over the uppermost face of the slice of bread. Put the knife down on the bench. Open the jelly container and dispense approximately 20ml of jelly on top of the already-spread peanut butter. Put the jelly container down on the bench. Grasp the table knife by its handle. Use the blade of the table knife to spread the jelly evenly over the spread peanut butter, employing a gentle touch to avoid, as best you can, mixing the jelly into the peanut butter layer below it. Put the knife down on the bench. Remove a second slice of white bread from the bag. Use that slice to cover the spread jelly completely, then adjust the two slices to align their edges as best you can. Grasp the resulting sandwich in both hands. Crush it into a tight ball. If you are wearing pants and/or underpants, remove them. Insert the balled-up sandwich into your anus. Grasp the table knife by its blade. Plunge the handle of the table knife into the open container of peanut butter, then withdraw it. Insert the handle of the table knife into your anus and use it to push the balled-up sandwich as far up as it will go. Continue to push the table knife into your anus until no part of it protrudes. Replace your underpants and your pants. Drive to the nearest ER. Show these instructions to the triage nurse. Explain that you have followed them to the letter and that the resulting rectal rupture is causing you some discomfort. Loudly demand pethidine. Now think about what you've done.
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@CarrieVS said in Exact Instructions:
Do you hear them buzzing? Oh gods, the tentac-agckk.....
Oh for the love of...
REGEX CLEANUP ON AISLE 4!
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@flabdablet said in Exact Instructions:
on top of the already-spread peanut butter
That's not the same method the kids were using.
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I must admit, I've never understood the appeal of the PB&J. Then again, I've never actually had one.
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@RaceProUK said in Exact Instructions:
I must admit, I've never understood the appeal of the PB&J. Then again, I've never actually had one.
I tried it multiple times, and each time I was reminded why I hate that combination.
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@RaceProUK it's sweet enough that young kids will eat it, and contains protein without being hard to chew. After the age of 10 or so it's mostly nostalgic.
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peanut butter and marmite is where it's at
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@Jaloopa Why would you want to ruin perfectly good Marmite?
Now I wouldn't absolutely rule out Marmite and jam without trying it (but I don't have any particular plans to try it).
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@RaceProUK said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia said in Exact Instructions:
Is it bad I clicked that, expecting it to do something?
Yes.
I only hovered it.
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@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
@RaceProUK it's sweet enough that young kids will eat it, and contains protein without being hard to chew. After the age of 10 or so it's mostly nostalgic.
not so much nostalgic, but it ticks the "i had food for lunch that will keep me from being hungry until the end of work" box and it takes all of thirty seconds to assemble with ingredients that are long lasting (except for bread, but you just need to have a steady supply of that.)
i don't really like PB&J, but i do recognize that it's an effective lunch, and damn convenient when i've once again slacked off and not prepared something for lunch last night.
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@accalia yeah, but the same can be said for peanut butter and banana and nutella sandwiches, or lunch meat sandwiches (depending how long you need for "long lasting").
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@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
depending how long you need for "long lasting"
if it ain't green, it's fine
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@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
@accalia yeah, but the same can be said for peanut butter and banana and nutella sandwiches, or lunch meat sandwiches (depending how long you need for "long lasting").
i've had bad experience with lunch meat sandwiches that were a bit too old that has unfortunately ruined both cold cuts and mustard as valid sandwich ingredients for me. Multiple attempts to cure me of this food aversion have failed with spectacular results. I am saddened that this appears to be permanent, or at least more persistent than i am willing to put effort into resolving.
PBB&N sandwiches are fucking amazing, but suffer from the problem of "i could do with a snack.... i have a jar of nutella.... and a spoon.... now i don't have any more nutella.... I shouldn't have done that...."
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@Jaloopa said in Exact Instructions:
if it ain't green, it's fine
So much for the British classic: cucumber sandwiches.
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@Jaloopa said in Exact Instructions:
@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
depending how long you need for "long lasting"
if it ain't green, it's fine *
*Does not apply to guacamole.
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@RaceProUK said in Exact Instructions:
@Jaloopa said in Exact Instructions:
if it ain't green, it's fine
So much for the British classic: cucumber sandwiches.
"I want a water sandwich, but it makes the bread too soggy"
"Try cucumbers instead of water. They taste the same and are marginally less wet"
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@Yamikuronue said in Exact Instructions:
banana and nutella sandwiches
but even better with dark chocolate paste like or