Florida Man goes to...
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@lolwhat man I dislike it when sites hijack my back button to display more ads...
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@Tsaukpaetra One more reason why I open news articles in a new private tab...
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@lolwhat Well, that kid is probably not being done a disservice by having both parents locked up safely for a couple of decades.
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... call the TV station about this peacock problem:
Hillsborough County officials said the peacocks aren't [treated] as pets because no one has claimed ownership of them, [and] the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the birds also aren't considered wildlife, so the agency doesn't have jurisdiction over them.
Typical bureaucracy...
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
... call the TV station about this peacock problem:
Hillsborough County officials said the peacocks aren't [treated] as pets because no one has claimed ownership of them, [and] the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission said the birds also aren't considered wildlife, so the agency doesn't have jurisdiction over them.
Typical bureaucracy...
So, open season?
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This post is deleted!
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
a defense you don't see very often
In case anyone is wondering,
It gets hot and he needs to air it out.
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Audra Adams, not pictured
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...Home Depot!
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@boomzilla Unfortunately, there's no explanation of what started it. Also, the paint fight seems immature and childish, but one of the guys goes after another with a shovel. Hitting somebody with the edge of a shovel like that, it's assault with a deadly weapon.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla Unfortunately, there's no explanation of what started it. Also, the paint fight seems immature and childish, but one of the guys goes after another with a shovel. Hitting somebody with the edge of a shovel like that, it's assault with a deadly weapon.
Ah, the internet... leaving us hanging since
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
The argument reportedly began after Couch [the accused] didn’t want to let the victim inside the home for unknown reasons, the sheriff’s office said.
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@boomzilla I wonder why the writer of that article thinks it is necessary to define the word anus in the article, quoting dictionary.com, and differentiate it from onus and Uranus (but not define "chore boy"; TIL). And also mention movies like It Came from Outer Space and It Came from Another World. I guess he's getting paid by the word, and there weren't enough words in the article.
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Oh come on, put some more effort into this. It's clearly labeled that it originates from a satirical website.
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"It's like printing money"
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
Oh come on, put some more effort into this. It's clearly labeled that it originates from a satirical website.
Better?
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
Oh come on, put some more effort into this. It's clearly labeled that it originates from a satirical website.
So I should have cropped that part out and pretended it isn’t a joke?
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@topspin Well, with just a little more effort you would have seen that the joke or funny stuff thread is
A good Florida man story is true, and yet stranger than fiction.
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@dcon
How does an alligator trap people inside an elevator? It's a freaking elevator! Ride it to a gator-free floor and you can leave safely!
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Florida Man goes to...:
@dcon
How does an alligator trap people inside an elevator? It's a freaking elevator! Ride it to a gator-free floor and you can leave safely!
Maybe he's pushing the call button? Surprising number of animals can learn to use food dispenser.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Florida Man goes to...:
a gator-free floor
That's something I never imagined I would read some day.
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@Mason_Wheeler
The most important thing to remember about Florida Man stories is that they're (generally) written by Florida Men :inception:
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@Mason_Wheeler said in Florida Man goes to...:
@dcon
How does an alligator trap people inside an elevator?
It's Florida.
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Felony seems kinda ridiculous.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
Felony seems kinda ridiculous.
Yeah, it does, but according to TFA,
Since Duffy’s lengthy rap sheet includes a prior battery conviction, he was charged with a felony for the July 26 7-Eleven incident.
So his history of doing dumb things bites him in the ass on this one.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
So his history of doing dumb things bites him in the ass on this one.
Were his other battery charges also related to chilled confections?
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@hungrier said in Florida Man goes to...:
@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
So his history of doing dumb things bites him in the ass on this one.
Were his other battery charges also related to chilled confections?
At first I was amazed!
:battery:
works inabbr
?
Oh. Unicode. Of course.
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...the basketball court!
https://rare.us/rare-humor/naked-man-playing-basketball
Police received a call around 7:30 p.m. on a Sunday night that there was a naked man playing basketball at the for-that-moment-unfortunately-named Candyland Park and responded accordingly. When officers from the Longwood Police Department arrived they found Jordan Anderson, 29, playing basketball naked with two balls too many. When they asked the Florida man why he was Dikembe Mutombo wagging his dong all over the public court Anderson said it was because he thought playing naked would help improve his basketball skills.
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Passenger tries to choke his car-sharing rider:
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Florida Man explains that Trump's speech made him do it:
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
why he was Dikembe Mutombo wagging his dong
Is he known for waving his dick around? Did they just put that in because his name starts with "Dik"?
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Don't lie. We wish we thought of it.
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@DogsB said in Florida Man goes to...:
We wish we thought of it.
No, I don't. Lambos suck asthmatic donkey's ass. A V8 and above should growl like a bandog, not buzz like a bag of mosquitos on a moped.
(quite obviously never having been even near one makes me all the more qualified on the subject)
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@Zecc said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in Florida Man goes to...:
Lambos suck asmathic donkey's ass.
This lambo would curb stomp a chad donkey.