Florida Man goes to...
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Prison!
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@izzion I love the Onebox
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Aleman, locked up on $20,300 bond, has previously been convicted of obstruction, marijuana possession, and battery (the victim was his current girlfriend). He has been arrested on several other occasions--for strong arm robbery, aggravated assault, and battery on a senior citizen--but those matters were not pursued by prosecutors. In one of the dropped cases, Aleman was arrested for allegedly punching his pregnant girlfriend in the face and biting her cheek. The victim in that 2015 case is the same woman Aleman is accused of assaulting yesterday. (1 page)
Wait, and she's still with him and pregnant to boot? Does this Florida Woman believe his tattoo?
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
Wait, and she's still with him and pregnant to boot?
This isn't the thread to get into it, but, sadly, that's not uncommon nor particularly surprising for domestic violence victims.
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Florida Man goes to...the liquor store, with an alligator:
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...Congress, by way of Nebraska!
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...the great flash in the sky!
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...get his drugs tested!
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... get his skin stretched?
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... look for search results for his name.
https://www.stripclublist.com/ was in the results. Good SEO!
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Florida Man goes politipostal!
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@Polygeekery
I think he's offended by the waste of good drinking bleach.
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@izzion make sure you read the entire article. It is incredibly Florida.
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@Gribnit said in Florida Man goes to...:
I actually saw that challenge hit the news. Police warning stating that attempting that challenge on public roads is 'gevaarlijk weggedrag' (literally: Dangerous behaviour on the road). And that (almost) all parking lots at shopping malls and such still constitute public roads, even if they're on privately-owned ground.
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@Polygeekery said in Florida Man goes to...:
Why, did he felch her and didn't quite recognize the taste?
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@Tsaukpaetra you've got your fringe sex acts mixed up here, unless meanings have drifted a lot.
http://southpark.cc.com/clips/153736/lemmiwinks-adventure-begins
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@Gribnit said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Tsaukpaetra you've got your fringe sex acts mixed up here, unless meanings have drifted a lot.
I was originally looking for the f-word that meant putting a bit of ginger spice in a horse's ass, but found a better one that meant sucking semen from the ass.
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@JBert said in Florida Man goes to...:
Aleman, locked up on $20,300 bond, has previously been convicted of obstruction, marijuana possession, and battery (the victim was his current girlfriend). He has been arrested on several other occasions--for strong arm robbery, aggravated assault, and battery on a senior citizen--but those matters were not pursued by prosecutors. In one of the dropped cases, Aleman was arrested for allegedly punching his pregnant girlfriend in the face and biting her cheek. The victim in that 2015 case is the same woman Aleman is accused of assaulting yesterday. (1 page)
Wait, and she's still with him and pregnant to boot? Does this Florida Woman believe his tattoo?
Well, to be fair, she wasn't actually family.
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...a steakhouse!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Gribnit said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Tsaukpaetra you've got your fringe sex acts mixed up here, unless meanings have drifted a lot.
I was originally looking for the f-word that meant putting a bit of ginger spice in a horse's ass
Oh! I know that one! It's called figging, right?
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@anotherusername said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Gribnit said in Florida Man goes to...:
@Tsaukpaetra you've got your fringe sex acts mixed up here, unless meanings have drifted a lot.
I was originally looking for the f-word that meant putting a bit of ginger spice in a horse's ass
Oh! I know that one! It's called figging, right?
Yeah! That's the one!
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@Tsaukpaetra it took me about a minute to remember. I knew that I knew it, though...
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Florida man goes to court. Because he works there. Because he is a judge with a grudge.
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@boomzilla I can't help but wonder, is that one violation of the law, or two?
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@boomzilla I like how on the brevardtimes.com front page they're thoughtful enough to put the top mugshots of the day.
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@Polygeekery For a second I thought "that's nowhere close to 'nearly naked'". Then I realized he's black. I'm sorry.
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@Polygeekery When asked about the fanny pack, he reportedly said "I'd feel naked without it." OK, I made that up.
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...order "secret menu" donuts!
Also, the OG Facebook post from the Gainesville PD is 10/10 comedy...
https://www.facebook.com/notes/gainesville-police-department/robbery-at-krispy-kreme-not-on-our-watch/1834707626565490/
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...the fentanyl drive thru!
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@boomzilla
Linked within that article... a mother that really knows how to use her kids to skirt the law...
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@izzion said in Florida Man goes to...:
A 15-year-old girl in California was placed into protective custody after deputies found she was running a marijuana business out of her bedroom.
You're supposed to encourage young entrepreneurship
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@TimeBandit said in Florida Man goes to...:
@izzion said in Florida Man goes to...:
A 15-year-old girl in California was placed into protective custody after deputies found she was running a marijuana business out of her bedroom.
You're supposed to encourage young entrepreneurship
But the whole point of legalizing weed was that it was going to be a giant tax windfall. And I'll bet she wasn't paying any taxes.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
And I'll bet she wasn't paying any taxes.
So? Slam her down with tax evasion. Like that hasn't worked before.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
@TimeBandit said in Florida Man goes to...:
@izzion said in Florida Man goes to...:
A 15-year-old girl in California was placed into protective custody after deputies found she was running a marijuana business out of her bedroom.
You're supposed to encourage young entrepreneurship
But the whole point of legalizing weed was that it was going to be a giant tax windfall. And I'll bet she wasn't paying any taxes.
Yeah, and I bet you want those illegal lemonade stands shut down too.
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@anotherusername in California? Yes. They deserve the dystopia they keep voting for.
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@boomzilla Is that a FOX NEWS talking point or something?
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@Captain how would I know?
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@boomzilla I don't know. I only see that kind of talk from the dumbest of the Hill commenters.
I guess when I think of American dystopias, I think of red states like Alabama and Arkansas (and Kansas, for that matter).
California should vote to stop exporting Federal tax dollars to those dying states.
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@Captain said in Florida Man goes to...:
I don't know. I only see that kind of talk from the dumbest of the Hill commenters.
Well, they have at least on thing figured out.
@Captain said in Florida Man goes to...:
I guess when I think of American dystopias, I think of red states like Alabama and Arkansas (and Kansas, for that matter).
OK. What's dystopian about them?
@Captain said in Florida Man goes to...:
California should vote to stop exporting Federal tax dollars to those dying states.
I think it's biggest export is people these days.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
I think it's biggest export is people these days.
Right, and then they fuck shit up the same way they did in Cali.
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@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
@anotherusername in California? Yes. They deserve the dystopia they keep voting for.
Hey, I don't vote for this dystopia. But I'm a lone conservative in a sea of left-wing libtards; my vote counts for nothing.
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@HardwareGeek said in Florida Man goes to...:
@boomzilla said in Florida Man goes to...:
@anotherusername in California? Yes. They deserve the dystopia they keep voting for.
Hey, I don't vote for this dystopia. But I'm a lone conservative in a sea of left-wing libtards; my vote counts for nothing.
I feel your pain. I still have a lot of family there in a similar situation.
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@Jaloopa what good is the obesity epidemic if it isn't?