New from Samsung: Fire and explosions
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@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@flabdablet said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
iPhone 7
No, iPhone 7 has neither headphone socket nor instant flaming death feature.
give me ten minutes with it, 8 cups of atomized aluminium, 3 cups of atomized ferrous oxide, and a road flare. I'll install the feature.
You don't need all that stuff, they provide a headphone adapter right in the package.
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@abarker said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
give me ten minutes with it, 8 cups of atomized aluminium, 3 cups of atomized ferrous oxide, and a road flare. I'll install the feature.
You trying to kill one iPhone, or a couple crates of them?
if i do it right i'll kill an entire apple store with that package!
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Who wold have though with their focus on quality...
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@NeighborhoodButcher Lithium fire is BEST fire.
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@flabdablet said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@NeighborhoodButcher Lithium fire is BEST fire.
if you say that then you have never seen a thermite laced magnesium powder fire..... that shit will give you the WORST sunburn while also eating straight through that tungsten carbide plate you placed it on.
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@accalia All I'm saying is that if you put some lithium in with that, it would be better.
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@flabdablet said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia All I'm saying is that if you put some lithium in with that, it would be better.
nah. what you really want to do is lace it with strontium nitrate and potassium salt.
did anyone ask for purple flames?
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@accalia Why don't you add some enriched uranium while you're at it?
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@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@flabdablet said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia All I'm saying is that if you put some lithium in with that, it would be better.
nah. what you really want to do is lace it with strontium nitrate and potassium salt.
did anyone ask for purple flames?
As long as it's not sodium. That shit seems to be everywhere whenever I try to show my pupils the different colours of diverse metals:
And here we see the green... naw, that's still yellow from sodium. Whelp, another 10 minutes in the bunsenburner for you!
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@PleegWat said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia Why don't you add some enriched uranium while you're at it?
oooooh. then i could have the site of the experiment declared a superfund cleanup site!
WIN!
/me starts planning a trip to 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino CA
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Little update: Just got an email from Samsung asking me to turn off my Note now.
I also got an email from Oculus VR who told me that any app purchases I did for the included VR app will be refunded upon my asking.
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@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@PleegWat said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia Why don't you add some enriched uranium while you're at it?
oooooh. then i could have the site of the experiment declared a superfund cleanup site!
WIN!
/me starts planning a trip to 1 Infinite Loop, Cupertino CA
Please make sure the wind isn't blowing before you do - I'm only a few miles away from there... (Plus, I think you want to center it in the middle of the "space ship" - not 1 Infinite Loop)
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@dcon said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
Please make sure the wind isn't blowing before you do - I'm only a few miles away from there...
hmm..... you may wish to take a vacation for a while?
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@PleegWat said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@accalia Why don't you add some enriched uranium while you're at it?
I suggest having Chlorine Trifluoride along for fun. I also suggest not being nearby when this ignites.
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@dkf Personally, I'm partial to chalcogen polyazides.
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@masonwheeler The benefit of ClF3 is that you're not restricted to working with millimoles of it. People have been known to have whole tankers of the stuff. There's not much limit to what you can achieve with that much fun juice about…
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@dkf That very same site has an article on that as well, appropriately titled Sand won't save you this time.
Always a good read, and why I'm glad I never opted for the chemical option when taking my engineering studies.
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@JBert said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
Always a good read, and why I'm glad I never opted for the chemical option when taking my engineering studies.
Ah, c'mon, we're not that bad.
It's fun. At least once you've grown a proper pair and do not duck for every single minor explosion (only the major ones warrant dodging).
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@Rhywden It's only partial fear of what I would be cooking up myself, the rest would be mostly of peers.
We had a student in our year who was actually a year older, he had to take some courses over again after his former lab partner "spilled" some
HCl
over one half of his face and he had to drop out for half a year while his face healed. Fun times, fun times...
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@Rhywden said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
a proper pair
Of what? Tumors? Extra digits? Semi-permanent or even permanent discolorations? Shrapnel scars?
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@Dreikin said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@Rhywden said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
a proper pair
Of what? Tumors? Extra digits? Semi-permanent or even permanent discolorations? Shrapnel scars?
Of scissors.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
Of scissors.
Just refrain from running with them and everything should be fine!
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@masonwheeler said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@Tsaukpaetra said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
Of scissors.
Just refrain from running with them and everything should be fine!
And if you do run with them, make sure they're Teflon-coated so they'll be easy to clean afterwards.
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@Rhywden said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@e4tmyl33t Amateurs. Nitric acid and cotton is where it's at!
If you're going to break out the nitric acid, you may as well take the next step and make some aqua regia.
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At university there was a saying: "ChemE: The few. The proud. The unemployed."
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@JBert said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
his former lab partner "spilled" some
HCl
over one half of his face and he had to drop out for half a year while his face healed.Was it heated? Or didn't have time to clean it off? The results of acid on skin if treated promptly tend to be rather underwhelming.
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@Rhywden said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
It's fun. At least once you've grown a proper pair and do not duck for every single minor explosion (only the major ones warrant dodging).
Any sufficiently major explosion reaches you before the "bang" anyways.
Filed under: And even if you did hear a sufficiently major explosion, that means you're still in the blast zone
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Samsung engineering team:
https://i.imgur.com/wHV6U74.gifv
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@Dreikin said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@Rhywden said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
a proper pair
Of what? Tumors? Extra digits? Semi-permanent or even permanent discolorations? Shrapnel scars?
You're missing:
All of the above
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@Luhmann said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
and the winner of the "FUCKING DUH" award of the year:
if your Note 7 is currently ablaze, we'd suggest minimizing contact with it.
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Obviously, they're somewhat reeling from the impact of this. I just got another email:
Dear customer,
this email contains information regarding your exchange.
Your old IMEI was ...
Your new IMEI is ...If you have any questions don't hesitate to contact us.
I'm not quite sure what I'm to make of this, considering that I got this exact text on a letter inside the package from the exchange two weeks ago.
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@Dreikin said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
Of what? Tumors? Extra digits? Semi-permanent or even permanent discolorations? Shrapnel scars?
Am I afraid, you ask? Of what? Of the dark? Of the things that live in it? Of the fact that nobody has ever entered those caverns and come out alive? Of the dragon inside who destroyed our kingdom & devoured our greatest heroes? Of course I'm afraid!
So here I go.
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@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@Luhmann said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
and the winner of the "FUCKING DUH" award of the year:
if your Note 7 is currently ablaze, we'd suggest minimizing contact with it.
I liked the reply to that
Well, NOW you tell me.
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The New York Times gives us a tantalizing look behind the scenes at Samsung, saying the post-recall testing process was hindered by a desire to not create a paper trail. "It did not help that the hundreds of Samsung testers trying to pinpoint the problem could not easily communicate with one another," the Times said. "Fearing lawsuits and subpoenas, Samsung told employees involved in the testing to keep communications about the tests offline—meaning no e-mails were allowed, according to the person briefed on the process."The system works!
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@Luhmann said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
noting that the devices are only to be shipped by ground, safely within reach of the quenching hoses of the fire department.
Using water to put out the fire caused by battery will just make the fire spread.
#dontdothisathome
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Small update: You know how Samsung USA ships special containers to their customers for recall? And how they also promised $25 in addition to a complete refund, or a $100 rebate if someone switched to, say, an S7 Edge?
Both is not happening in Germany. I'm not quite sure what those fuckers are thinking.
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I suppose all those Galaxy Note 7 will have to be returned by ground shipment, since it's now illegal to bring a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 onto an airplane in the US:
http://www.cnbc.com/2016/10/14/samsung-galaxy-note-7-phones-banned-from-all-us-air-travel.html
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@Lorne-Kates said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
I suppose all those Galaxy Note 7 will have to be returned by ground shipment, since it's now illegal to bring a Samsung Galaxy Note 7 onto an airplane in the US:
http://www.cnbc.com/2016/10/14/samsung-galaxy-note-7-phones-banned-from-all-us-air-travel.html
hmm...... there's going to be some interesting firefighting coming from samsung soon i think. they've got a hugely confusing brand lineup right now and they're going to want to distance themselves from this fuckup as much as possible......
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@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
there's going to be some interesting firefighting coming from samsung
_
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@accalia I've heard a few people question why the Edge 7 adverts are still running. If they hadn't skipped the Note 6 they'd be in a slightly better position right now
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Oh, and if anyone is at the least bit surprised by the fact that Samsung's engineers didn't think of long-term stress testing a hunk of heated metal and acid to ensure it doesn't explode, well...
These are the same engineers who didn't think they needed to long-term stress test the anchor for the monitor hinge on their notebooks. You know, the single point of contact between the two heaviest parts of the laptop, that are basically the only moving parts of the system, and that are moved multiple times per day?
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@accalia said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
they've got a hugely confusing brand lineup right now
lol, yeah, never thought of that.
I want a phone.
How about a Samsung Galaxy?
No, I heard those explode. I'll just an iPhone.
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@Lorne-Kates Rumor has it that the crux of the issue is the internal structure of the phone literally crushing a percentage of batteries.
Because the dimensions of the phone internals are plus or minus a certain tolerance. And the dimensions of the battery are plus or minus a certain tolerance. Plus differing thermal expansion rates for each, and plus or minus the expansion rates of each from unit to unit. If both dimensions are off in the wrong direction, even within their individual tolerances, bad shit happens.
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@Weng said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
@Lorne-Kates Rumor has it that the crux of the issue is the internal structure of the phone literally crushing a percentage of batteries.
Because the dimensions of the phone internals are plus or minus a certain tolerance. And the dimensions of the battery are plus or minus a certain tolerance. Plus differing thermal expansion rates for each, and plus or minus the expansion rates of each from unit to unit. If both dimensions are off in the wrong direction, even within their individual tolerances, bad shit happens.
Oh, that's forgivable then, since Samsung is a brand new company with no experience with manufacturing small, battery-powered phones. Also, portable phones-- come on, this is BRAND FUCKING NEW technology. Cutting, bleeding edge. It's absolutely unprecedented what they're doing. They are pioneers. There is literally NO other data or past experience or designs they can draw off of, or lessons learned from DECADES of cell-phone manufacturing.
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@Lorne-Kates I suspect they just hit the inflection point where that level of detail actually matters. Thinner phones, stiffer materials, bigger batteries, less effective cooling, less expensive manufacturing.
Not saying they shouldn't have seen it coming, just that they apparently didn't.
Or, knowing Samsung's internal politics, Solidworks flagged it as a problem and they ignored it because the warning message wasn't in Korean.
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@Weng said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
Or, knowing Samsung's internal politics, Solidworks flagged it as a problem and they ignored it because the warning message wasn't in Korean.
Or because it was reported by a non-Korean and a Korean designed it.
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@Weng said in New from Samsung: Fire and explosions:
internal structure of the phone literally crushing a percentage of batteries
I heard surveys show people want thicker phones with more battery life, but actual sales show they want thinner phones despite their technical disadvantages.
So now we have reached a technical disadvantage that may outweigh that.