Migrating the Forum to phpBB
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(Topic reserved for future use)
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@Lorne-Kates
Spent some time browsing https://www.phpbb.com/community/Observations:
Pages load quickly
No infini-scroll
No apparent jellypotato
Has a fairly nice appearanceStill has (in my opinion) way too much javascript
I seem to remember that Alex P. has some sort of php-phobia
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@El_Heffe said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
I seem to remember that Alex P. has some sort of php-phobia
All sane people have php-phobia.
Filed under: This does not imply that all people with php-phobia are sane.
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@Lorne-Kates said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
(Topic reserved for future use)
Better make sure you get all those edits in before your 604800 seconds are up!
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@HardwareGeek I'm not insane and I'm not afraid of PHP. I'm more concerned than actually afraid.
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@Arantor said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
I'm not insane
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/debunking-myths-the-mind/201005/the-dangers-self-diagnosis
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@Onyx I'm officially not insane, or at least wasn't a couple of years ago when I saw a bunch of psychologists for other reasons.
But my continued flirting with PHP does suggest something awry... :P
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@Arantor said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
But my continued flirting with PHP does suggest something awry...
How would you diagnose a love for Perl?
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@El_Heffe You forgot security holes an elephant can get through.
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@wft said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@El_Heffe You forgot security holes an elePHPant can get through.
FTFY.
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@El_Heffe Also, "mod files" (not the Protracker MOD, mind you) for manual patching all over the place: go to file X, replace Y with Z in lines n...m.
The fuckers never heard of patches, nor did they hear of plugins and composable architecture, so they invented this abomination instead.
So, nope. I don't hate PHP, but I hate an approach when you start as an ignorant amateur, and after a decade you're still an ignorant amateur, and proud of it. phpBB folks gained a reputation of being extremely learning-resistant.
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If we move again, it's going to be to a forum written in a compiled language that doesn't require JavaScript.
Filed under: wait that sounds familiar
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@El_Heffe said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
No apparent jellypotato
That's not really a problem with NodeBB either if you don't have any images or embeds and you enter every topic at the very top.
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@ben_lubar said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
compiled language
So not going to go to Ruby? Good…
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@dkf said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@ben_lubar said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
compiled language
So not going to go to Ruby? Good…
COBOLBB?
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@Dreikin said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
COBOLBB?
I'm not sure whether I should upvote because the joke was good or downvote because the idea is incredibly evil and only thinking about it made me physically sick.
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@asdf wait, aren't COBOL "databases" just flat files? That means we could search the forums using SSDS!
Please implement this immediately!
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@asdf said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@Dreikin said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
COBOLBB?
I'm not sure whether I should upvote because the joke was good or downvote because the idea is incredibly evil and only thinking about it made me physically sick.
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E_CLOSED_DUPLICATE
https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/17243/phpbb
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@El_Heffe said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
I seem to remember that Alex P. has some sort of php-phobia
we're doomed then, because there is no decent forum software that isn't written in php
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@wft Phpbb 3.1 has plugins and don't use MOD files.
There are too few extensions for it, but they have learned a bit.
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I'd like to go on the record here and say I am against this idea
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@julianlam Well after a half-dozen of our own fixes (thanks boomzilla) we're down to only about 3462 demented buggy behaviors I hate.
... is what I was about to post, but then the forum crashed.
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@fbmac said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@El_Heffe said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
I seem to remember that Alex P. has some sort of php-phobia
we're doomed then, because there is no decent forum software that isn't written in php
we're doubly doomed then. because there is no decent software that's written in PHP.
and there is no decent forum software. like at all, even PHPBB would have tons of complaints about it from us. we're geeks, we're going to complain! it's just what we do.
so yeah.
we're just doomed....
DOOOOMED!
DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED!
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@accalia I'm making that into my official "on-site install T-shirt".
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@accalia I assume it might be slightly cheaper and easier to do it locally rather than shipping it over the ocean and half the continent? :P
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@Onyx said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@accalia I'm making that into my official "on-site install T-shirt".
Pics or it didn't happen.
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@Onyx well probably. but i wasn't about to post the order from from your local t-shirt printer for fear of an accidental doxx
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And now that I've probably got your attention:
http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/product/mens_t_shirts/keep-calm-we-re-doomed-anyway
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It's Keep Calm Girl!
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I've found a ton of "we'll print a t-shirt" sites, but does anyone have a "we'll print a baby Onsie" site?
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@Lorne-Kates yes, but you'll just have to imagine it on her. I'm not that good with photoshop.
http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/product/babygrow/keep-calm-we-re-doomed-anyway
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@wft SMF has a similar problem, coming from a similar era but even that is getting better.
XenForo largely doesn't have this problem and I'd be able to help with things if we wanted to migrate to that. Just not as quickly as I could with SMF...
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@anotherusername said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@Lorne-Kates yes, but you'll just have to imagine it on her. I'm not that good with photoshop.
http://www.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/product/babygrow/keep-calm-we-re-doomed-anyway
Proposed solution. RFC open.
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@accalia said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
we're going to complain! it's just what we do.
Pretty much all the other geeky sites I am on, which all run phBB, SMF or Xen, spend extremely little time moaning about the forum software, or finding annoying bugs, and an awful lot of time discussing - well - the stuff the forum's about. I mean, maybe a thread every two months or so. And whilst I understand the delicious irony of hosting a forum ostensibly aimed at discussion of fucked software on the world's second most fucked piece of forum software (having already used the other two in the top 3), it would be nice if les than 25% of site volume was related to FUCKING BRAINDEAD BUGS AND / OR DESIGN HEADFARTS IN THIS PIECE OF SHIT SOFTWARE.
@julianlam said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
I'd like to go on the record here and say I am against this idea
Hardly surprising really, given that you're one of the main cretins responsible for this fuckawful dog's dinner.
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@tufty said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
Pretty much all the other geeky sites I am on, which all run phBB, SMF or Xen, spend extremely little time moaning about the forum software, or finding annoying bugs, and an awful lot of time discussing - well - the stuff the forum's about.
Yeah but this forum's about moaning about software and finding annoying bugs...
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@tufty said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
Pretty much all the other geeky sites I am on, which all run phBB, SMF or Xen, spend extremely little time moaning about the forum software, or finding annoying bugs, and an awful lot of time discussing
That doesn't mean anything. I've used both phpBB and SMF, and found bugs in both. It's just that "normal" communities don't freak out when they find a bug and don't stress-test their forum software 24/7.
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@asdf said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
It's just that "normal" communities don't freak out when they find a bug and don't stress-test their forum software 24/7.
Also, phpBB doesn't stream in posts in the wrong order, and crash 50% of the time when you hit "reply".
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@El_Heffe said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
No apparent jellypotato
Quite a lot of jellypotato in image-heavy threads in My Other ForumTM. But that is a fairly old version of PHPBB. We can't update because it would break our reputation mod and that would not be acceptable for our community.
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@Lorne-Kates said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
DOOM GIRL
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@Lorne-Kates said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
I've found a ton of "we'll print a t-shirt" sites, but does anyone have a "we'll print a baby Onsie" site?
Is this a joke I don't understand or serious? There's photos of me as a baby with a onsie custom printed by my parents. I got the same words recreated for my babies!
The actual words contain our family name used it an ambiguous context.
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@Zemm this answer your question?
/topic/19709/the-official-guess-arbitrary-data-about-lorne-s-spawn-thread-baby_symbol/
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@wft said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
The fuckers never heard of patches
http://darksouls3.wiki.fextralife.com/file/Dark-Souls-3/unbreakable_patches.jpg
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@asdf said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
@Dreikin said in Migrating the Forum to phpBB:
COBOLBB?
I'm not sure whether I should upvote because the joke was good or downvote because the idea is incredibly evil and only thinking about it made me physically sick.
Why not MUMPS?