In other news today...
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The guy was a piece of shit. I am glad he died.
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@lucas1 One day they* will say the same thing about you.
*all three of them
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@flabdablet I didn't murder thousands of people, like Castro.
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@lucas1 said in In other news today...:
PHOTO: Fidel Castro hearse breaks down — pushed through streets
I guess a car's mechanical parts will break down after hundreds of thousands of gallons of grave-piss.
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@flabdablet said in In other news today...:
@lucas1 One day they* will say the same thing about you.
*all three of them
I'd say that @GodEmperor would say that about Lucas1, but he won't.
(Because Lucas1 will be dead so he log into his sock puppet account)
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@lucas1 said in In other news today...:
I didn't murder thousands of people, like Castro.
Don't give up hope. You're only 15. You have plenty of time.
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@flabdablet said in In other news today...:
@lucas1 said in In other news today...:
I didn't murder thousands of people, like Castro.
Don't give up hope. You're only 15. You have plenty of time.
Wait, it isn't normal to have murdered thousands of people by the time you're 15?
Look, all I'm saying is that I was working a very shitty paying job, and if I let the trans hookers KEEP the money, I wasn't going to get anywhere, financially.
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@Lorne-Kates said in In other news today...:
Wait, it isn't normal to have murdered thousands of people by the time you're 15?
Not all parents have the means to support their childrens' ... hobbies.
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@PJH That sounds exactly like the sort of article that would appear on 'Dave Gorman's Modern Life Is Goodish', where he takes the best and funniest comments and makes a 'found poem' out of them
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@PJH wait, his name was Logan? I thought with a title like that it would be something more like "Bl̷e͟v̷i̶n̨\\⚗͝'; ̷D̵R̀OP T͝A̧B͡LE ̨sa̷n͞i̷ty҉ --"
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@Dreikin 115 is not Elerium? Son, I am dissapoint.
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@Arantor said in In other news today...:
@Dreikin 115 is not Elerium? Son, I am dissapoint.
I'm still waiting on unobtanium, myself.
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@Yamikuronue said in In other news today...:
You know, I always thought I had PTSD, but now I'm sure of it.
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@RaceProUK Indeed:
Children should not be taught to spell their names in capital letters. When Logan starts school he will not be able to recognise his own name. In fact, children should be taught more practical things like tying shoelaces and getting dressed after PE. Leave the teaching to teachers.
that one reads like a Ken M comment
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@Boner said in In other news today...:
Bishop claims to make men's penises larger by massaging them with his hands
Holy shit! I just tried this and it totally works!
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@Boner said in In other news today...:
In August he was filmed whipping teenagers while accusing them of being sexually promiscuous. He is now facing charges over the incident.
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@flabdablet said in In other news today...:
@Boner said in In other news today...:
Bishop claims to make men's penises larger by massaging them with his hands
Holy shit! I just tried this and it totally works!
You could've bought me dinner first.
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@anonymous234
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeOgfvaZzFY#t=15m18s&end=16m9s
I was promised flying cars, but I guess robot blowjobs will just have to do.
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@Boner He's a self-appointed "Bishop".
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@chozang Hey, don't bash him.
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@Boner Why not? I'm telling you, it totally works!
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@Jaloopa said in In other news today...:
Children should not be taught to spell their names in capital letters.
Because if it's spelled in capital letters, it's not their legal name? Does the flag in the classroom have a gold fringe?
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@Boner said in In other news today...:
Graciously, he also offers to massage women’s breasts in order to enlarge them too.
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@anonymous234 said in In other news today...:
:mobboss: Yo! Hack that thing so gets it.
:hacker: typetypetype
: AARGHHHHH
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Only in
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@PJH
Apparently in Ireland, the concept of actual paragraphs has been rejected.It's probably seen as too British to express multiple sentences about the same concept in a single unit.
Either that, or it's a lot easier to follow along with a single sentence per paragraph when you're drunk.
Which would make the article's formatting a lot more convenient for an Irishman, I suppose.
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@izzion I thought the BBC were bad with their tiny paragraphs, but that article takes it to a whole new level.
Also, point of try: Cork is in the Republic of Ireland, and therefore not in the UK, so it's Irish, not British.
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@izzion said in In other news today...:
in Ireland,
@RaceProUK said in In other news today...:
Cork is in the Republic of Ireland
eh?
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@izzion said in In other news today...:
It's probably seen as too British
I should probably have focussed on the site being https://www.rte.ie, instead of the location of Cork.
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@RaceProUK yes -- as in, that's why they don't use paragraphs, because it's too British and they don't want to be British.
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@Yamikuronue Yeah, but-
realisation dawns
Ah.
Excuse me.
/me proceeds to gently beat the stupid out of her head
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@RaceProUK said in In other news today...:
@izzion said in In other news today...:
It's probably seen as too British
The point of the joke was that the Irishmen would see multi-sentence paragraphs as "too British" as opposed to being "Irish". The humor value is taken from juxtaposing the different approach to text redaction with the stereotypical animosity between the two groups. This, combined with the tongue-in-cheek delivery that unfortunately often gets lost in the written medium, indicates that the statement should not be taken at face value.
Edit: aw, 'd. Damn you, NodeBB, for not letting me be helpful!
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@Yamikuronue said in In other news today...:
@izzion said in In other news today...:
in Ireland,
@RaceProUK said in In other news today...:
Cork is in the Republic of Ireland
eh?
Meh.
Ireland = Republic of Ireland (AKA, colloquially, and confusingly, Ireland) + Northern Ireland.
Also:
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That's the simplified version; the detailed picture is headache-inducing:
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@RaceProUK said in In other news today...:
That's the simplified version; the detailed picture is headache-inducing:
Someone posted here the detailed version sometime back as an image. It was quite helpful, actually.
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@PJH said in In other news today...:
Mum complains to Tesco she can't spell son's name from 'alphabet' potato shapes
I call bullshit. Ain't no way someone who named their kid "Logan" is feeding them Horrible Awful GMO Gluten-Filled WITH CHEMICALS Potato Shapes.
On another note, I've always wondered. How the fuck do these articles even come into existence? How does a reporter even come across these stories?
Like, is there an official reporting mechanism that returns clerks have direct to the newspapers? "Hi, newspaper, you won't believe the cuntdick who just left".
Do these people voluntarily submit themselves to the newspaper to be mocked as the dumb fucks they are?
Or is it some sort of Wicker Man thing, where once every so often someone must be sacrificed for all to prosper?
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@chozang said in In other news today...:
@Boner He's a self-appointed "Bishop".
Given his interactions, I'd peg him as a Queen.
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@flabdablet said in In other news today...:
@Boner Why not? I'm telling you, it totally works!
Yeah, but only for a couple minutes.
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@dcon said in In other news today...:
:mobboss: Yo! Hack that thing so gets it.
:hacker: typetypetype
: AARGHHHHH:mobboss: Great. Now hack that thing so gets it.
:hacker: typetypetype
Oh yes you naughty thing
:mobboss: :/ Ew.
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@anonymous234 said in In other news today...:
Original source as
cited laterstolen by PuffHo:https://www.inverse.com/article/24148-sex-robot-blowjob-cafe-london-bradley-charvet?utm_source=huffpo&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=outreach
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What do you expect the clean up process after each robot is used to be like?
We are discussing a solution with the doll company. It’s going to be more or less like escorts are doing at the moment.
TIL sex workers get hosed down with disinfectant, have their insides popped out, and are run through an industrial dishwasher.
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@Lorne-Kates said in In other news today...:
How does a reporter even come across these stories?
They don't. The stories come across the reporters.
Usually by the offendotrons (mother in this instance, the obese woman who broke her couch in one of my earlier submissions) contacting their local paper.