The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
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Your'e very sensitive about bad jokes. And apparently afraid of our first female president.
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I'm nearsighted, so I can't C# from far away.
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I'm conflicted whether this one belongs in the nerdy jokes thread.
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Given that it doesn't belong in any thread, this is probably the closest we can get to perfection.
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One day, a history teacher in an elementary school was lecturing about the Battle of Britain. Knowing one of the pupils' grandfather fought in it, she invited him to the school.
"So, Mr. Brown, what can you tell us?" - the teacher asks politely.
"Now listen up, kids." - the old man sits in the middle of the class and starts talking. - "I was just a young lad, 20 years old, patrolling over the English Channel. Suddenly, I look out, and see one, two, three Fokkers approaching from the east!"
"A Fokker, kids" - quips in the teacher - "is a type of airplane."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." - answers the grandfather - [spoiler]"but these fokkers were Messerschmitts!"[/spoiler]
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Because [spoiler]Fokker sounds like fucker[/spoiler]
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Because
Well, yeah I get that part, but... Eh. Whatever, not enough waste-product left to allocate to understanding this.
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Well, yeah I get that part, but...
But what? That's the joke. Grandpa wasn't saying "Fokker".
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[spoiler]The old guy is calling the German planes "fuckers", the teacher is trying to "correct" it but the "fuckers" are really not Fokkers but a different kind of plane.[/spoiler]
Cute ish wordplay, but bad joke nonetheless.
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Grandpa wasn't saying "Fokker".
wordplay
*blinks three times quickly, once slowly*
Oh. Well in this case apparently my natural language interpreter wasn't up to snuff....
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Interestingly, it's not in this list:
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The spelling in the original joke suggests the Dutch airplane builder:
However most of the Dutch air force Fokkers were destroyed at the start of the war, and I suspect few, if any, were used by the German military.
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However
not in this list:
Well, if the joke was ruined before, it's certainly been beat to death now...
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it's certainly been beat to death now...
It certainly took a nose dive into the ground
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But only because the Flak shot it down before it could fly completely over Tsaukpetra's head!
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(English: Shrike)
This reminds me of some books my friend really liked. One of the characters was some kind of crazily awesome cyborg assassin named Shrike. Except in the American release, they named him Grike. I think this is along the lines of the sorcerer's stone issue.
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Interestingly, it's not in this list:http://www.iwm.org.uk/history/9-iconic-aircraft-from-the-battle-of-britain
Why would it be? It wasn't used in the Battle of Britain.
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Thought I could hear onions in the fridge singing beegees songs...
Turned out it was the chives talking.
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####During the Punic Wars, Rome and her allies lost tens of thousands of troops in various battles but were always able to field yet more troops and fight on. What happened so that by 378, the Romans had such a hard time recovering from a single battle even though the empire was so much bigger?
Great answer on reddit.
When Valentinian I became emperor, he kept the rule of the western provinces to himself and gave control of the eastern provinces to his brother Valens.That's right: the Roman Empire was cut in two with a pair of caesars.
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Anteater: I can't sleep. I have indigestion from eating all those fire ants before bed.
Wife: You'd better take an ant acid.
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my company is not that evil to perform some MITM fuckery with certificates
Old as hell reply, but did I mention in order to get Github back, our employer MITM's our connection?
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get Github back
Ignoring the question why one would want to get it back, who took it from you? Is your employer somehow in a position where they are not in charge on what's blocked but still can inject their own SSL certificates?
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Ignoring the question why one would want to get it back, who took it from you?
The company. Pretty sure the reason they blocked it was because people were pushing changes from work, which is a dumb thing to do.
Is your employer somehow in a position where they are not in charge on what's blocked but still can inject their own SSL certificates
Wut? Of course they're in charge of what's blocked.
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So the same people that block Github are then implementing a workaround to access it?
Or am I missing something?pushing changes from work, which is a dumb thing to do.
Sarcasm, or do you mean people working on their own personal stuff?
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So the same people that block Github are then implementing a workaround to access it?
Yes.
Sarcasm, or do you mean people working on their own personal stuff?
I assume pushing work stuff to a public repo. Could have been personal stuff.
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When you had a bad breakup and you need to git back together
[spoiler]
git rebae
[/spoiler]
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How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
[spoiler]At least 10. First they must have a debate on whether the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree that it exists, they may not change it, because doing so might offend those who use another form of light.[/spoiler]
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How many tea party patriots does it take to change a lightbulb?
[spoiler]Ten million and five: One to go to Wal-Mart and buy a lightbulb (and a gun because he’s going to the store anyway), one to scoff at global climate change, one to draw a rally poster making fun of Joe Biden, one to complain about the socialist conspiracy to bring light to all Americans, one to change the bulb, and 10 million to sit in the dark even though the light is on.[/spoiler]
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My grandfather gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
He said "It's worth spending money on a good set of speakers"
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How many SJWs does it take to change a lightbulb?
[spoiler]That's not funny![/spoiler]
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Your'e very sensitive about bad jokes. And apparently afraid of our first female president.
She's going to build a wall of guns around Canada.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
She's going to build a wall of guns around Canada.
That depends on the meaning of the word 'is.'
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@Tsaukpaetra said:
it's certainly been beat to death now...
It certainly took a nose dive into the ground
That's a Zero.
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How many SJWs does it take to change a lightbulb?
[spoiler]That's not funny![/spoiler]Wrong.
[spoiler]Three. Two to argue about whether "screwing in" the light bulb is just a cis construction to emphasize the power of penetration and whether "righty-tighty, lefty-loosey" is ablist for the poor downtrodden lefties of the world. The third just goes and gets a man to do it.[/spoiler]
Addendum.
How many Rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?
[spoiler]Three. One to change it, one to write a song about it, one to start a fight in the parking lot![/spoiler]
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How many Rednecks does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But they'll get the Mexicans to pay for it.
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You know, if I do ever get the Filet of Cod - which I am considering more and more lately - there won't be many leftovers. But don't worry, @polygeekery, I'm sure I will have some Mountain Oysters to send to you
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Confucius say "Man who walk into airport sideways is going to Bangkok"
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Maybe he instead is going to Phuket.
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Revive this topic?
The last reply to this topic is now over 8 days old. Your reply will bump the topic to the top of its list and notify anyone previously involved in the conversation.
Are you sure you want to continue this old conversation?
Hell yes I do.
What languages are most compatible with carpal tunnel syndrome?
[spoiler]Scripting languages. They tend to have weak typing.[/spoiler]
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What do you call a heterosexual body builder?
Mr. Schwarzenegger. What, you thought there were others?
How can a King tell if a knight is gay?
When he's always looking to grab another cuirass.
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Why is a stump not a tree?
Because it has circles
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Today on the Trollodile Hunter, we're here in the wilds of suburban Seattle looking for the Foul-tempered Forum Rat, Mobileimpilium blakei. I'll be helping local wildlife expert Bob Mallocer catch one that's been causing grief for some of the residents of WTFamette Valley. Despite its small stature, the Forum Rat has a huge ego, so we'd better be careful! Dangya Dangya Dangya!
We drive to a forum where Mallocer says that the Forum Rat as been spotted. Bob is an old friend of mine who runs Intarwebs Outpost, a wildlife sanctuary in Redmond. While I get the traps and tranquilizer gun, Terri will talk a bit with Bob about why this particular Forum Rat needs to be trapped.
"This little guy has been chewing up scenery all over WTFamette Valley, and peeing in every pool he comes across. The plan is to lure him with out with some FOSS advocacy threads, which are his favorite prey, then once we have him cornered we'll tranq him. We'll take him back to Intarwebs Outpost for an examination before shipping him off to Isla Nutbar, where he'll be a new exhibit for the people at Juranasshole Park."
"We tried to catch this one a few times before, but we always ended up with either an Abstract Forum Rat (Gadofilum lambda) or a Bra Fox (Vulpes chupapenes) instead. He's a clever rat, but I think we can get'em today. We've added some Dwarf Loon (Bacilligraphites conlang) to our FOSS advocacy, which we think will get the Forum Rat angry enough to attack."
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/me tries to speak in a Broad accent and fails miserably Ain't he a beaut?
I wonder if anyone will catch the subtle implication in my description of @ben_lubar's role as a moderator in this forum. I'm pretty sure there's at least one nukee here who will see the wordplay involved there.
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@ScholRLEA said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Juranasshole Park
Nice. Totally going to use that one in slightly modified form.
It's a better pun than someone putting "Fu Ling Yu" on their takeout order...