The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨
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Worshingtonshire Sauce
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Worshingtonshire Sauce
really? that's how it's pronounced? i always pronounce it "that fucking awesome non-asian brown sauce"
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
really? that's how it's pronounced?
Absolutely not.
It's Whoosher sauche
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@accalia Ah, you mean Worcestershire* sauce? That is an awesome sauce. Why do I never buy any?
*
wuss-ter-shr
for all you non-Brits out there
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Why do I never buy any?
Because very time you asked for it you got into an argument about how to pronounce it?
:double_decker_bus:
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
That is an awesome sauce. Why do I never buy any?
Because you're an idiot. It goes in most things I cook, and on chips.
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
wuss-ter-shr for all you non-Brits out there
Stop trying to confuse her with your made up pronounciations
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia Ah, you mean Worcestershire* sauce? That is an awesome sauce. Why do I never buy any?
*wuss-ter-shr for all you non-Brits out thereBrought to you by the people who pronounce
menzies
asming
citation
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Stop trying to confuse her with your made up pronounciations
How dare you! I wasn't trying to confuse @accalia, I was trying to confuse everyone!
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@NedFodder said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
That hurts, you're a muenster.
Enough with the cheese puns, before I blows youse all into de-brie!
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Brought to you by the people who pronounce
menzies
asming
citationο± Actually, it's the Scots you have to thank for that one.
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
ο± Actually, it's the Scots you have to thank for that one.
But she didnt' blame them, and they got off scot-free!
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
But she didnt' blame them, and they got off scot-free!
That was terrible! Off to the Bad Jo- wait...
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia Ah, you mean Worcestershire* sauce? That is an awesome sauce. Why do I never buy any?
*wuss-ter-shr for all you non-Brits out there
Brought to you by the people who pronounce
menzies
asming
citationSee also Loughborough. A perfectly cromulent pronounciation for that would be lowbrow.
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Brought to you by the people who pronounce
menzies
asming
citationο± Actually, it's the Scots you have to thank for that one.
- rejected, because i moved the goal posts.
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
i moved the goal posts
So long as you move them back before the Six Nations resumes next weekend ;)
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
i moved the goal posts
So long as you move them back before the Six Nations resumes next weekend ;)
I put them on Mars. it'll be awhile before the orbits align such that you can get them back.
's probably faster to build a new set.
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@NedFodder said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
That hurts, you're a muenster.
Enough with the cheese puns, before I blows youse all into de-brie!
That one has already been danbo fore.
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
*
wuss-ter-shr
-ter-shr
FTFY&A. I know how much you love .
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Worcestershire* sauce? That is an awesome sauce.
*
wuss-ter-shr
for all you non-Brits out thereUnless you're Guy Fieri, in which case it's "washed-your-sister sauce".
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@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Unless you're Guy Fieri, in which case it's "washed-your-sister sauce".
Or you're a voyeur, in which case it's "watched-your-sister sauce."
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia Ah, you mean Worcestershire* sauce? That is an awesome sauce. Why do I never buy any?
*wuss-ter-shr for all you non-Brits out there
Brought to you by the people who pronounce
menzies
asming
citationSee also Loughborough. A perfectly cromulent pronounciation for that would be lowbrow.
See also...
Loughton, Woughton, Broughton (all three are districts of Milton Keynes).
Low-ton, Wuff-ton, Braw-ton.
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This post is deleted!
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A Spanish magician was performing before a small group.
"And now," he said, "On the count of three, I will disappear."
He held up one finger and intoned, "Uno!"
He held up two fingers and said, "Dos!"
He held up three fingers and -- *poof* -- he disappeared, without a tres.
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[laying on dëÑthbed]
IKEA furniture names are just the worst
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That actually is a stack of faggots though
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@Jaloopa That much is true, and I'm willing to give them a pass on that one
On a semi-related note, can you still get faggots in the frozen food aisles of supermarkets? I remember having them many times as a kid, but I don't recall seeing them for years now.
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
On a semi-related note, can you still get faggots in the frozen food aisles of supermarkets?
http://www.waitrose.com/shop/DisplayProductFlyout?productId=95404
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
On a semi-related note, can you still get faggots in the frozen food aisles of supermarkets?
http://www.waitrose.com/shop/DisplayProductFlyout?productId=95404
They sell frozen bassoons?
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@PJH I tried Googling for 'West Country sauce', and all I could find was mentions of gravy. Makes me wonder if they aren't a bit desperate to add a bit of class to oversized meatballs.
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Makes me wonder if they aren't a bit desperate to add a bit of class to oversized meatballs.
"West Country" doesn't exactly bring to mind images of class. In fact, to me, it's more
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@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
On a semi-related note, can you still get faggots in the frozen food aisles of supermarkets?
http://www.waitrose.com/shop/DisplayProductFlyout?productId=95404
They sell frozen bassoons?
Bassoons made of pork? Bassoons are already a bit iffy; ones made of pork would definitely belong in the Bad Ideas thread.
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Speaking of frozen bassoons reminds me of this, and since we're in the dad jokes topic anyway:
The piccolo was invented in a coastal region of Italy where the local birds have very high-pitched songs, which over time has led to those high registers becoming a common feature of the folk music of the human residents. Many years ago, the locals hit upon an idea to make such sounds more available for performance.
Early each summer, all the villagers go down to the beach and dig pits in the sand in which they build fires and place huge copper pans. The pans are filled with a very pure grade of olive oil and raised to the boiling point, at which time bags of wooden flutes are carefully stirred into the boiling oil.
The wood absorbs the hot oil, causing the flutes to shrink until, ideally, they're about half their original size, raising the pitch of each instrument a full octave above its original range. This is how the piccolo originally came to be.
The festival is still carried out to this day, where it has become known as the "Mediterranean flute-fry".
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@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
since we're in the dad jokes topic anyway:
No, we're in the had jokes thread.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
No, we're in the had jokes thread.
The Hoff by One thread?
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@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
However, to explain this ahead of time for the benefit of a listener not familiar with this would be to put de cart before de horse.
That reminds of a great Reddit comment:
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Two men walk into a bar,
the third one ducks
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
To men walk into a bar,
the third one ducksTwo be or not two be?
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@loopback0 said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@accalia said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
To men walk into a bar,
the third one ducksTwo be or not two be?
@accalia's not withstanding.
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Thought about leaving this in
News
thread and see who got it, but since it's a couple of years old, I'll leave it here instead.Spoiler
The Welsh switch making industry is based in.Prestatyn
Press that in
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A motorway is in a bar having a drink when a B road walks in. "I'm the biggest, meanest road there is" the motorway said to the B road, "do you have a problem with that"?
"No, no problem" the B road replied, and went to the other end of the bar for a drink.
A few minutes later an A road walks in. "I'm the biggest, meanest road there is" the motorway said to the A road, "do you have a problem with that"?
"No, no problem" the A road replied, and it too went to the other end of the bar for a drink.
Minutes later a gravel track walks in. The motorway leaps over the bar to hide. The barman says "hey, I thought you were the biggest, meanest road there is"?
"I am" replies the motorway, "but that guy's a cycle path".
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@Boner said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
motorway said to the A road, "do you have a problem with that"?
"No, no problem" the B road repliedA bit discourteous of B to just pipe up like that on behalf of A.
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shh I think I got away with it.
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@Boner said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
A motorway is in a bar having a drink when a B road walks in. "I'm the biggest, meanest road there is" the motorway said to the B road, "do you have a problem with that"?
"No, no problem" the B road replied, and went to the other end of the bar for a drink.
A few minutes later an A road walks in. "I'm the biggest, meanest road there is" the motorway said to the A road, "do you have a problem with that"?
"No, no problem" the
BA road replied, and it too went to the other end of the bar for a drink.Minutes later a gravel track walks in. The motorway leaps over the bar to hide. The barman says "hey, I thought you were the biggest, meanest road there is"?
"I am" replies the motorway, "but that guy's a cycle path".
Meanwhile, the C road sits quietly in the corner, being ignored as usual.
Don't believe there are C roads?
http://www.cbrd.co.uk/photo/img/c-roads/08.jpg
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Meanwhile, the C road sits quietly in the corner, being ignored as usual.
Don't believe there are C roads?
http://www.cbrd.co.uk/photo/img/c-roads/08.jpgIt looks like the C road is the butthole and the A road is the dick...
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@remi said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Meanwhile, the C road sits quietly in the corner, being ignored as usual.
Don't believe there are C roads?
http://www.cbrd.co.uk/photo/img/c-roads/08.jpgIt looks like the C road is the butthole and the A road is the dick...
I bet there's already a gender with that symbol
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@Maciejasjmj This is the closest I could find: β₯
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There are 30 cows in a field, 28 (ph) chickens. How many didn't?
10 (see, it works when you say it...reading it spoils it)
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@boomzilla said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
8
I mean, it's not incredibly common, but I'm sure a cow has done this at one point in time.