Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition
-
@levicki said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@kazitor said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Suggestion: nothing.
Are you suggesting there are people with vacuum in their heads?
It might explain the strange popping noise they make when... nevermind.
-
@levicki said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Are you suggesting there are people with vacuum in their heads?
I think they have brain-eaters in their heads. Hungry brain-eaters.
-
@Bulb said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@levicki said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Are you suggesting there are people with vacuum in their heads?
I think they have brain-eaters in their heads. Hungry brain-eaters.
not just hungry brain eaters.
STARVING brain eaters
-
-
@kazitor said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@levicki said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
I would really like to know what was going through their head
Suggestion: nothing.
In other words: reading Facebook.
-
-
This article reminded me of a joke about the reason that alligators are flat. Sadly I forgot the setup and the end, so have this silly article instead:
Drive safely (if it's really necessary to go out)
-
@JBert said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
This article reminded me of a joke about the reason that alligators are flat. Sadly I forgot the setup and the end, so have this silly article instead:
The version I know is just one step is a very long series of very bad jokes about elephants, such as "Q: how do you fit 4 elephants in a Mini? A: two in the front, two in the back." then followed by e.g. "Q: which one is driving? A1: the one at the wheel / A2: the one with a driving license" etc.
Then you build up to "Q: why shouldn't you go out in the jungle between 12am and 2pm? A: because that's when elephants are doing their parachuting training."
And finally you get to your joke (well the one I though about anyway) "Q: why are crocodiles (*) flat? A: because they're going out in the jungle between 12am and 2pm."
(*) or alligator but as another bad pun in French goes, "c'est caïman la même chose" (i.e. "it's almost/caiman the same thing").
-
@remi basically, this:
-
@boomzilla Mmmm, not quite, no. Your link is for a long-winded story that hasn't really got any funny element (except maybe incidentally, but not as part of the main story), and works because people expect something funny to happen at some point and their expectations are subverted to the very end by not having a true funny punchline. I do know a few stories that fit that description, but I don't really like telling them because putting in the right amount of long-windedness, while keeping it somewhat interesting for listeners, is just too much work for me.
In the case of the elephant stories, there isn't truly an overarching narrative (just a common theme), and each step is (supposed to be) a joke by itself (a bad one, granted, and often of the absurd kind). The fun derives from the piling-on of such "jokes", and how they build on each other. They work better if you spread them out a little bit by telling other stories, or letting other people tell other stories, in between, so that people don't really have the previous ones fully in mind when you tell the next one (typically they work fairly well at boyscouts gathering or similar).
Some of the same series:
Q: How to you fit a giraffe in a fridge in 3 movements?
A: Open the door, put in the giraffe, close the door.Q: How to you fit an elephant in a fridge in 4 movements?
A: Open the door, remove the giraffe, put in the elephant, close the door.Q: How do you know an elephant has been in your fridge?
A: There are foot marks in the butter.Q: How do you know the elephants have gone to church?
A: The Mini is parked in front.Q: Why are there only 3 elephants at church?
A: The fourth one is still in the fridge.
-
Q: how do you pass an elephant through a closed door?
A: put the elephant inside a sealed envelope and slide it under the door.Q: what if it won't fit?
A: remove the stamp.
-
Q: How do elephants hide in the wood?
A: They disguise themselves as strawberries.Q: Why haven't you ever seen an elephant close to where you live?
A: Because they're all well disguised.
-
https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/27124/elephantastic-jokes
(I did not expect it to have such good acceptance, to be honest)
-
@remi said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Mmmm, not quite, no. Your link is for a long-winded story that hasn't really got any funny element (except maybe incidentally, but not as part of the main story), and works because people expect something funny to happen at some point and their expectations are subverted to the very end by not having a true funny punchline.
I had a feeling you'd try to point out that mostly irrelevant difference. You used a series of unfunny jokes instead of a story, but it relies on the same things.
-
@boomzilla I still disagree, I really don't think they rely on the same mechanism. The series of jokes only work because they are all referring one to another, and the individual ones become (hopefully) funnier as you pile them on and interleave absurd answers ("putting the elephant in an envelope") and perfectly logical ones, if you accept the absurd premise of the previous one(s) ("remove the stamp to make the envelope thinner"). And there is no punchline (funny or not) to the whole series, it can go on forever or stop at any point, so it's really related "jokes" rather than a long-winded single one. The "shaggy dog", on the other hand, does very much need to have a punch line (or some sort of conclusion), and the intermediate bits may not even try to have the slightest element of fun in them. Though I agree that you can make a shaggy dog that incorporates a lot of elephants ( ) while still building to an overarching ending.
In short, the shaggy dog is building to some sort of climax (and destroying it), while the elephants keep piling on with no high or low point.
Anyway, all of that is to this thread (and someone paid to create a new one! ), and it's really just nitpicking, which we'll leave to, hem, someone that I won't name unless they're going again on a rant as to how this is the one thing that they don't tolerate we joke about.
-
-
@remi said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
The "shaggy dog", on the other hand, does very much need to have a punch line (or some sort of conclusion)
I'm reminded of the story of the guy who wanted a green bouncy ball.
He wanted a green bouncy ball when he first learned to speak.
He wanted a green bouncy ball for his fifth birthday.
He wanted a green bouncy ball when he finished primary school.
He wanted a green bouncy ball when he finished secondary school.
He wanted a green bouncy ball when he finished college.
He wanted a green bouncy ball for his wedding gift.
He wanted a green bouncy ball when he got promoted at work.
He wanted a green bouncy ball for his tenth wedding anniversary.
He wanted a green bouncy ball at his retirement party.
He wanted a green bouncy ball after his spouse died.
He wanted a green bouncy ball after he turned 90.As he lies down on his deathbed, someone finally asks him why he kept asking for a green bouncy ball.
"The reason... — inhales — I want a g-green... —inhales — b-bouncy — deep breath — b-b-ball is... —"
And he dies.
-
@Zecc That's a good example of shaggy dog (or at least how I understand it), yes!
Another one I know (and that is about driving, so we're back on topic, yay!) is about a guy who lives in a house and one day someone comes by on a blue motorbike and screams profanity at him. So he gets on his red motorbike and chases him, but doesn't manage to catch him.
A few days later, again someone on a blue bike insults him. So he jumps on his red bike and chases him, but doesn't manage to catch him.
Then a few more days after, someone on a blue bike insults him again. So he jumps on his red bike and chases him, but doesn't manage to catch him.
(and so on and so on...)
Morality?The blue bike is faster than the red bike.
-
@remi said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
someone comes by on a blue motorbike and screams profanity at him.
That's a driving anti-pattern indeed.
-
-
@boomzilla said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
They probably did want to race, but they're sore losers and started flashing the blue/red/whatever lights when they didn't win.
-
@boomzilla Gotta say it's a shame that blatant moronity isn't a crime. 'Course we'd need way bigger jails if it was, so ....
-
@Steve_The_Cynic said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@boomzilla Gotta say it's a shame that blatant moronity isn't a crime. 'Course we'd need way bigger jails if it was, so ....
Well, there are lockdowns all over the place, so the entire planet is a prison. Of course, the smart people are stuck in prison with the stupid...
-
Took a trip to my sister's house in a neighboring state for the weekend, to help her cut down a bunch of overgrown bushes and shrubs in her yard. I am really not a fan of other drivers. They seem to think coronavirus is a perfectly acceptable excuse for everyone to drive 100 - 120 mph even in town.
-
-
@mott555 said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Took a trip to my sister's house in a neighboring state for the weekend, to help her cut down a bunch of overgrown bushes and shrubs in her yard. I am really not a fan of other drivers. They seem to think coronavirus is a perfectly acceptable excuse for everyone to drive 100 - 120 mph even in town.
I've seen wide ranging driving behaviours. Some people go above the speed limit like normal, some way above, and some people go 20 below and slow down for green lights
-
@hungrier said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
and some people go 20 below and slow down for green lights
They're beta testing for St. Elon
https://what.thedailywtf.com/post/1679644
-
@Steve_The_Cynic said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@boomzilla Gotta say it's a shame that blatant moronity isn't a crime. 'Course we'd need way bigger jails if it was, so ....
Not if it was a Capital Crime.
-
@hungrier said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
some people go 20 below and slow down for green lights
Was behind one yesterday. Took a detour to prevent being behind him for a 10km stretch of overtaking not allowed.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYeeTvitvFU
As if to prove his point, someone blows past the stop sigh 15 seconds into the video
-
@hungrier And several others fail to stop, although most of them do slow down a little.
-
@hungrier said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
the stop sigh
Oops.
Hmm. I'm now.
Oups.
Hmm. Needs more
-
@hungrier said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
someone blows past the stop sigh 15 seconds into the video
At 1:28 and 2:14 as well.
At 3:21 they slow down, which is better than nothing, but the person behind them didn't visibly change their speed.
-
@Zecc They're also driving on the wrong side of the road.
-
@HardwareGeek said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@Zecc They're also driving on the wrong side of the road.
Speaking of driving on the wrong side of the road:
If you don't like seeing people in pain, don't watch further than 0:50
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpGtBk4pE2E&feature=emb_title
-
@Carnage said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
If you don't like seeing people in pain, don't watch further than 0:50
And if you do, you'll be somewhat disappointed.
-
-
@Zerosquare I don't see what's wr--
driving a Mini
-
@lolwhat ad speed kills, local paper mentioned an interesting bit of statistic yesterday (that might be correct or might be totally misleading; it does not mention the source):
There were 4.2 fatalities per (short) billion kilometres driven on German Authobahn, where many stretches have unlimited speed, 5.8 fatalities per billion kilometres on motorways in France (where highest speed limit is 130 km/h), and 7.8 on motorways in ⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹⏹ and USA (the last having lowest speed limit—75 mph ~ 120 km/h).
-
@Zecc said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@Carnage said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
If you don't like seeing people in pain, don't watch further than 0:50
And if you do, you'll be somewhat disappointed.
Yeah, I think it's just a broken arm and a few cracked ribs. The normal stuff for crashing.
But some people are squeamish about seeing real pain.
-
@Carnage Well, the main disappointment comes from the fact that it wasn't the two that drove most dangerously that crashed. Karma has failed this time.
-
@Bulb said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@Carnage Well, the main disappointment comes from the fact that it wasn't the two that drove most dangerously that crashed. Karma has failed this time.
Well, the one that did crash was also going to do the exact same thing as those guys, but he went full derp and rammed the rear of the car they were overtaking instead when there were people coming the other way. Which is nice of him I guess, but he really shouldn't have put himself in a position where he ended up ramming the rear of a car on a long stretch of straight road.
-
@Bulb said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
the two that drove most dangerously
The guy filming it definitely doesn't win that title, but he's not far behind given he's doing 150 km/h on a road where the speed limit is likely (depending on the country) 80-90 km/h. Which makes it sadly very unsurprising when someone then
rammed the rear of the car they were overtaking
And then you get lengthy rants/whine by bikers about how the higher accident rate of bikers is because of cars not being careful enough around them
-
@Bulb said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
USA (the last having lowest speed limit—75 mph ~ 120 km/h).
This varies by state. In CA, it's generally 65 mph in urban, suburban and adjacent areas (specific roads may be lower), and 70 mph in rural areas. In OR, they never raised the state's limit from old nationwide 55 mph limit. In TX, it's 80 mph in rural areas.
-
Think it was posted somewhere on this forum before, of a stretch of highway in Canada that is one of the leading places of accidents and they keep lowering the speed limit on it, while disregarding the correlating increase in # of accidents that occurs every time they lower it.
-
@Zecc said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@PleegWat said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
For starters, those cars are already in the wrong. You're not allowed to come to a stop on a crossing.
Then does the law suggest swerving, or ramming the car before you?
The law prohibits entering an intersection if you do not have a clear path of egress from it.
-
@Dragoon said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Think it was posted somewhere on this forum before, of a stretch of highway in Canada that is one of the leading places of accidents and they keep lowering the speed limit on it, while disregarding the correlating increase in # of accidents that occurs every time they lower it.
You can only go so fast on a moose, to be fair.
-
@loopback0 said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
@Dragoon said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
Think it was posted somewhere on this forum before, of a stretch of highway in Canada that is one of the leading places of accidents and they keep lowering the speed limit on it, while disregarding the correlating increase in # of accidents that occurs every time they lower it.
You can only go so fast on a moose, to be fair.
About 50 km/h. Seems a bit slow for highways.
-
I've noticed that due to dramatically decreased vehicle presence on road, there's virtually no rush hour anymore. Kinda nice, to be honest.
-
@Tsaukpaetra said in Driving Anti-Patterns - Necro Edition:
I've noticed that due to dramatically decreased vehicle presence on road, there's virtually no rush hour anymore. Kinda nice, to be honest.
And the day they release us back to work, there will probably be 1 crash per mile per hour. (Thank $deity that my commute will soon be only 5mi!)