The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska
Are you saying the car didn't age well?It's a 3rd generation Ford Escort, which was being built until 1986, more than 30 years ago.
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@nerd4sale It's just a joke. Try not to Focus on the details too much.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I guess this meme worked better 10 years ago.
Still worked 4 years ago. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Escort_(Europe)#Third_generation_(1980–1986)
I'm ashamed to say I spent a considerable amount of time to tell whether it's a Mk3 or a Mk4, the differences are very minor. If it turned out to be a Mk4 it would work for 2 more years.
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm ashamed to say I spent a considerable amount of time to tell whether it's a Mk3 or a Mk4, the differences are very minor.
Headlights are a different shape.
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@loopback0
Excuse me, the car is up here.
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@izzion
I was just wondering if it had a rack
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I guess this meme worked better 10 years ago.
Still worked 4 years ago. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ford_Escort_(Europe)#Third_generation_(1980–1986)
I meant that 10 years ago, the 30 was 20.
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@Gąska
Math is hard ... let's go car shopping
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@Luhmann I'd like a 20 year old escort.
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@Gąska
It depends on the price, doesn't it?
I'm not prepared to hang myself over one
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I meant that 10 years ago, the 30 was 20.
Right, I wondered about that myself. If you are asking Santa for an escort, why specify 30 year old.
Thankfully Escort production continued until 2002 in Europe so you could ask for an 18 year old one.
There have been Escorts made after that in Brazil and China but that would be just asking for trouble
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There are probably several topics this could go in, but there's enough humor that I think it works here.
YouTube inventor builds and demonstrates a hair-cutting robot for a charity live-stream. This is a behind-the-scenes showing some of the problems as well as the results (but I repeat myself).
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Luhmann if every part has been replaced, is it still the same car?
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Oh, perhaps you wanted the official unfunny stuff thread.
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If you replace every part and it's still shit, is it the Ship of Feceus?
Filed under: Random thoughts, Bad puns
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a longer version
Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don’t worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you’re the one who shot him.He had been a big, twitchy guy with veiny skin stretched over swollen biceps, a tattoo of a swastika on his tongue. Teeth filed into razor-sharp fangs—you know the type. And you’re chopping off his head because, even with eight bullet holes in him, you’re pretty sure he’s about to spring back to his feet and eat the look of terror right off your face.
On the follow-through of the last swing, though, the handle of the ax snaps in a spray of splinters. You now have a broken ax. So, after a long night of looking for a place to dump the man and his head, you take a trip into town with your ax. You go to the hardware store, explaining away the dark reddish stains on the broken handle as barbecue sauce. You walk out with a brand-new handle for your ax.
The repaired ax sits undisturbed in your garage until the spring when, on one rainy morning, you find in your kitchen a creature that appears to be a foot-long slug with a bulging egg sac on its tail. Its jaws bite one of your forks in half with what seems like very little effort. You grab your trusty ax and chop the thing into several pieces. On the last blow, however, the ax strikes a metal leg of the overturned kitchen table and chips out a notch right in the middle of the blade.
Of course, a chipped head means yet another trip to the hardware store. They sell you a brand-new head for your ax. As soon as you get home, you meet the reanimated body of the guy you beheaded earlier. He’s also got a new head, stitched on with what looks like plastic weed-trimmer line, and it’s wearing that unique expression of “you’re the man who killed me last winter” resentment that one so rarely encounters in everyday life.
You brandish your ax. The guy takes a long look at the weapon with his squishy, rotting eyes and in a gargly voice he screams, “That’s the same ax that beheaded me!”
IS HE RIGHT?
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@aitap said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
a foot-long slug with a bulging egg sac on its tail
Once she was warmed up, it was actually pretty nice...
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@HardwareGeek StuffMadeHere is awesome
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Oh, perhaps you wanted the official unfunny stuff thread.
The way you lot are going, he'll have got the right thread
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Just thought about this, Googled to get the full text, and decided to post it in the holiday spirit....
'Twas the noche before Christmas and all through the casa,
Not a creature was stirring. ¡Caramba! ¿Que pasa?
Los niños were tucked away in their camas,
Some in long underwear, some in pajamas,While hanging the stockings with mucho cuidado
In hopes that old Santa would feel obligado
To bring all children, both buenos and malos,
A nice batch of dulces and other regalos.Outside in the yard there arose such a grito
That I jumped to my feet like a frightened cabrito.
I ran to the window and looked out afuera,
And who in the world do you think that it era?Saint Nick in a sleigh and a big red sombrero
Came dashing along like a crazy bombero.
And pulling his sleigh instead of venados
Were eight little burros approaching volados.I watched as they came and this quaint little hombre
Was shouting and whistling and calling by nombre:
"Ay Pancho, ay Pepe, ay Cuco, ay Beto,
Ay Chato, ay Chopo, Macuco, y Nieto!"Then standing upright with his hands on his pecho
He flew to the top of our very own techo.
With his round little belly like a bowl of jalea,
He struggled to squeeze down our old chiminea,Then huffing and puffing at last in our sala,
With soot smeared all over his red suit de gala,
He filled all the stockings with lovely regalos-
For none of the ninos had been very malos.Then chuckling aloud, seeming very contento,
He turned like a flash and was gone like the viento.
And I heard him exclaim, and this is verdad,
"Merry Christmas a Todos, y Feliz Navidad!"
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If you replace every part and it's still shit, is it the Ship of Feceus?
Filed under: Random thoughts, Bad puns
I'd like to claim the credit for Shit of Theseus, which I've mentioned before in this forum.
But more than fame, I'd just like to see it become part of our shared vocabulary.
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@nerd4sale It's just a joke. Try not to Focus on the details too much.
Tata, no ing? I Daewoo to Beetle this one to death just Forde heck of it as usual. It's easy 2CV can.
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No sled? No problem!
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You don't realize just how many people you hate, until you have to come up with a name for your baby.
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@El_Heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
You don't realize just how many people you hate, until you have to come up with a name for your baby.
According to tradition (I guess) my firstborn son shall inherit my name, like myself before him.
If it is female, I'm prioritizing prior girlfriends' names. The list is nonexistent, so that was pretty darn easy!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If it is female, I'm prioritizing prior girlfriends' names.
Bitch?
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
If it is female, I'm prioritizing prior girlfriends' names.
Bitch?
All my bitches have names. They all start with
S
.- Sheba
- Samantha
- Summer
- Stormy
- Ginger
- Sadie
Ginger is the fucking crazy one, the rest love me.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"Knowledge is power." -- Sir Francis Bacon
"Power corrupts." -- Lord ActonCompleting the syllogism is left as an exercise for the reader.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"Power corrupts." -- Lord Acton
Power corrupts, but we still need electricity.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ginger is the fucking crazy one, the rest love me.
Should I be worried that I do not know if the "fucking" is for emphasis or literal in this case?
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ginger is the fucking crazy one, the rest love me.
Should I be worried that I do not know if the "fucking" is for emphasis or literal in this case?
Only if you're planning a visit to the @Tsaukpaetra house.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
They all start with
S
.- Ginger
Hence:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ginger is the fucking crazy one, the rest love me
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ginger is the fucking crazy one, the rest love me.
Should I be worried that I do not know if the "fucking" is for emphasis or literal in this case?
Since this is @Tsaukpaetra, I do believe the answer to that question is "yes".
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ginger is the fucking crazy one, the rest love me.
Should I be worried that I do not know if the "fucking" is for emphasis or literal in this case?
There's a long story about that.... But it's not funny in the slightest.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
There's a long story about that.... But it's not funny in the slightest.
We have plenty of those threads.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My worry would be that it translates every bark to a sharp "SHIT!" and the stupid dog hears it and takes it as a command.
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This is how you know when Christmas is officially over.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My worry would be that it translates every bark to a sharp "SHIT!" and the stupid dog hears it and takes it as a command.
I would think one of us could figure out how to hack it so that it wouldn't or might actually be programmable.
I'm also pretty sure I've never told my dog to "shit".
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