The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Secondly, WD-40 is not a lubricant.
Even I know this. I hear even olive oil is better. WD-40 is just a
cleaning productpenetrant.
That could describe the other sort of lubricant, too.
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@topspin I'm not entirely convinced that the whole "murder hornet" story was anything more than "someone saw a bee"
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dkf Worst possible way of finding out, not worst possible outcome.
I'm not sure if finding out in the middle of sex is so bad. At least the contact is easily aborted.
By contrast, think about a rectal examination. Maybe during a traffic stop. You've got a cop's fingers up your arse, and suddenly you get this even worse feeling. And then it flashes through your mind; there's no way you can convince the copper to pull his hand out before it's locked in by the swelling. And you start wondering whether locking a cop's hand into your anus by allergic swelling constitutes an assault. Can it get you fired upon?
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Pretty sure they all carry the Nitrile gloves anymore.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dkf Worst possible way of finding out, not worst possible outcome.
I'm not sure if finding out in the middle of sex is so bad. At least the contact is easily aborted.
By contrast, think about a rectal examination. Maybe during a traffic stop. You've got a cop's fingers up your arse, and suddenly you get this even worse feeling. And then it flashes through your mind; there's no way you can convince the copper to pull his hand out before it's locked in by the swelling. And you start wondering whether locking a cop's hand into your anus by allergic swelling constitutes an assault. Can it get you fired upon?
I can no longer tell when y’all are joking or just reporting from the hell hole you’re living in, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Secondly, WD-40 is not a lubricant.
Even I know this. I hear even olive oil is better. WD-40 is just a
cleaning productpenetrant.
That could describe the other sort of lubricant, too.
Ah, so you did see what I did there!
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
during a traffic stop. You've got a cop's fingers up your arse
What the hell kind of traffic stops do you have over where you live?
Goddamn....
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
during a traffic stop. You've got a cop's fingers up your arse
What the hell kind of traffic stops do you have over where you live?
Goddamn....
Is "where you live" anywhere near Deming, New Mexico?
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
during a traffic stop. You've got a cop's fingers up your arse
What the hell kind of traffic stops do you have over where you live?
Goddamn....
Is "where you live" anywhere near Deming, New Mexico?
Huh. Someone over there has a fetish. Or someone thought they had a fetish.
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@HardwareGeek
Step 1: Be in the US
Step 2: Get randomly stopped by the police.
Step 3: Get literally scared shitless of being murdered.
Step 4: ...
Step 5:Profit!Anal cavity search.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Mason_Wheeler she found out in the middle of being murdered?
As opposed to “the little death”?
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Honestly murder hornets seem like they're going to be more of a June or July problem.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What kind of supermarket can you buy that kind of lubricant at?!?
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc What other kind of lubricant can you possibly buy from a supermarket?
What kind of supermarket can you buy that kind of lubricant at?!?
I know my local Albert Heyn has condoms and erotic lubricants on the shelf below the currently empty one that usually houses paracetamol, and opposite of the female hygiene products.
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DoctorJones The misplaced dot is irking me greatly.
It's a burned-out pixel.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Honestly murder hornets seem like they're going to be more of a June or July problem.
If the murder hornets would go after the cicadas very early in the season, I will nominate them for a Nobel Peace Proze.
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@izzion said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I will nominate them for a Nobel Peace Proze.
Just take some Prozac.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Just take some Prozac.
Sadly not available at Tescos. Or Sainsbury.
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@PJH said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Just take some Prozac.
Sadly not available at Tescos. Or Sainsbury.
then at least by some lube
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@PJH said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Just take some Prozac.
Sadly not available at Tescos. Or Sainsbury.
then at least by some lube
No, they're not by the lube, either.
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Filed under: Posts should contain at least 2 character(s).
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Filed under: Posts should contain at least 2 character(s).
Ah, seems they just incorrectly identified the kind of species, looks like it was a tumblebee instead.
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@error I like this joke better with the punchline "you need to know your limits".
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@error Three mathematicians walk into a bar. The barman asks: "beer for everyone?" The first one replies: "I don't know". The second one replies: "I don't know". The third one replies: "Yes."
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@aitap an IT specialist was thrown out of a bar for ordering 4 beers with a hand.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A coworker of mine had a young son -- 2-3 years old when this happened -- who was in the store with his mom. They went to the electronics section, where they had a bunch of TVs on display, all of them playing the same channel.
Kid apparently thought whatever was on was boring, because he toddled up to one of the TVs and tried to swipe the screen.
Quite old, but reminded me of this:
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Steve Jobs has coded a part of her OS.
Make your <1YO child spend enough time around tablets that she now thinks everything has a touch screen, but suuure, it's all Steve Jobs's fault.
Edit: look at this, the comments are turned off. I wonder why.
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
About pouring water into acid. If you don't understand this sign, you probably shouldn't be there.
Yeah, yeah, facts are to
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@aitap an IT specialist was thrown out of a bar for ordering 4 beers with a hand.
...why?