The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Can't read the text. Looks like someone tossing something to someone else and they toss something else back?
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It been about 2 hours, maybe that's later enough.
Maybe now? @Polygeekery?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@pie_flavor said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Can't read the text. Looks like someone tossing something to someone else and they toss something else back?
I can read the text but not sure what it's trying to say, or what the funny is.
At the bottom it says "Mokeys will give you objects in return for a banana. Press B to throw a banana at them." You then have two characters, marked "You" and "A loved one", where You follows A loved one, and A loved one is holding a banana labeled "Mesothelioma" (a kind of cancer) and the monkey is holding an object labeled Financial compensation.
So then A loved one throws the Mesothelioma at the monkey and obtains financial compensation in return. Wikipedia says "Some people who were exposed to asbestos have collected damages for an asbestos-related disease, including mesothelioma." I suppose this is what the clip alludes to, but I really don't see the funny.
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It been about 2 hours, maybe that's later enough.
Maybe now? @Polygeekery?
Years ago, when my wife and I were dating and she had just moved in with me, we planned a long weekend away. We rented a house that was on a bay that opened to one of the Great Lakes and looked like it had a fenced in yard to make it easy to travel with the dogs. She asks me how long a drive it would be, I glance at a map and guesstimate it at 5 hours and we decide that after we get off work on that Friday we would hit the road and probably get there around 11pm-midnight.
The trip comes, we get off work and head home and load up and when I GPS'd it I realized I was off on my estimate. By a lot. ETA is ~3am. Her and the dogs sleep a fair portion of the trip, I drove the entire way. This included one ~150 mile stretch where there was...well...nothing. We almost ran out of fuel. Other than that the trip was pretty uneventful, I made good time and we end up getting there a little after 2am. I am exhausted, I unload the car and crash around 3am, having been up the better part of 24 hours.
The next morning she wakes me up at about 8am and says that the yard is not fully fenced in and she is going to take the dogs for a walk so they can use the restroom. The house was right on the bay, and the bay was basin like in that the water did not get deep very quickly so there is a several hundred foot dock on the property for the boat. We have our own private beach and she wants to go on a walk. I am still exhausted and I politely decline and tell her I need coffee before I can consider doing anything. I make coffee, she leashes up the dogs and takes them for a walk. When the coffee is done I pour myself a big cup and head out on to the deck. I sit down right as she starts walking the dogs down the dock out in to the bay.
Worth noting is that at the time if one of us walked both dogs we used a split lead. You attach one leash to the split lead and it Y's and connects to both dogs.
Also, our female dog is clumsy as fuck. She is mostly bird dog, some sort of beagle-spaniel mutt that is super goofy. She is super cute, and she has an aloof personality that is easy to love, but goddamn is she clumsy.
So they get to the end of the dock and she decides she wants a drink of water and starts leaning over the edge of the dock. But it is way too far. It is 18-24" from dock to water, she leans too far and falls in the bay. When she falls in the split lead pulls the other dog's head down and slams it in to the dock because of the split lead connecting them. So there she is, flailing around in circles, our other dog is pulling up as hard as he can with his paws planted at the edge so he does not fall in. I am the better part of 200 yards away, very groggy, definitely not firing on all cylinders and there is not really anything I can do. Yeah, I probably should have taken off running to try and help but my mind just isn't working to that level yet. I would not have made it there in time, but I should have tried.
So my wife leans over the edge to try and pick her up, but our pup is flailing around too much and she cannot reach far enough or get ahold of her. The other dog is still planted at the edge of the dock, yanking and pulling as hard as he can. I see my wife stand up, take stock of the situation for a moment and she does the only thing she can. She puts her foot under his rear, picks up on it and -splash-, now both dogs are in the water and swim back to shore.
Once I realized that all mammals involved were going to be fine I busted up laughing at her shrugging her shoulders and knocking the other dog in the water.
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@Kian It's a generic template from the advertisements related to that. "If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation."
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"Uranus is an unincorporated tourist spot along historic Route 66 and is known for quirky attractions, including a fudge shop"
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Boston Dynamics wishes you a Merry Christmas...
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@PJH said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Boston Dynamics
Either I'm getting used to seeing those things or they are starting to get out of the uncanny valley.
Not sure how I feel about that.
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@Zecc Maybe it's the antlers?
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@Zecc I've just always thought they were cool!
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@Atazhaia That was evil and I now have literal tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Atazhaia That was evil and I now have literal tears in my eyes from laughing so hard.
It was very hard restraining myself since I'm in an open office environment. I did have 2 coworkers walk over to see what I was watching.
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^_~
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Christmas in Scotland I suppose
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Christmas in Scotland I suppose
Oooh, what a dreadful word!
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@El_Heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Although if Hal has a daughter like Kelly Bundy, she might manage to get an A anyway.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Sometimes the secret is that it's better than the word he's thinking.
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also, what does the front bumper have to be insecure about? Does it think it's fat or something?
My favorite line from The Hulk was, "Angry Man is unsecure!" I guess it was correct, but I chose to hear it as synonymous with, "Angry Man is insecure".
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@tharpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Although if Hal has a daughter like Kelly Bundy, she might manage to get an A anyway.
Never gonna happen. I've seen her report card. She even got an F in Sex!
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tharpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Although if Hal has a daughter like Kelly Bundy, she might manage to get an A anyway.
Never gonna happen. I've seen her report card. She even got an F in Sex!
As opposed to that being where she got the D
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Fun fact: I forget peoples names all the time, including my family, closest friends and yes, girlfriends too. So this kind of behavior is quite natural for me.
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
girlfriends too
That's why the nickname "Honey" was invented
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....I have no words.
I'm so in love with her big poos that I can't bear the idea of them stopping. Of her realising that they aren't things you want to show off about. Of the day when somebody makes it clear to her, whether by accident or design, that sweet little girls aren't supposed to describe the massive steaming achievements cruising out of their bums, propelled by the wonders of peristalsis, into the marvels of the plumbing system. That curly little blondes such as she should desire to be small, and contained, and clean, and dress up as pink princesses. And shut up about their dirty selves; already, enough.
I dread the day those whopper turds have got to go.
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@Polygeekery What even? In this scenario how does telling a little girl that she should do small shits actually make the shits smaller?
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I'm so in love with her big poos that I can't bear the idea of them stopping.
Constipation is no laughing matter
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@TimeBandit read the article. She blames America for her daughter's fascination with her gigantic poos.
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
She blames America for her daughter's fascination with her gigantic poos.
What an idiot.
Always blame Canada
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Terrible editing. They ended the video right before he goes over the barrier and beats the shit out of the asshole who is sitting there clapping.
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
read the article
Sure, I have time to waste
/me reads the article
Fuckin hell
Look, I'm telling you now, before you judge me too harshly on what I'm about to reveal, that apart from taking lots of photos I'm not an overly gushing parent.
Then she goes on to describe how fascinated she is with her daughter's poo
I'm so in love with her big poos that I can't bear the idea of them stopping.
The only solution must be suicide
the egg box has not six but 12 eggs inside it
That's why it's called a dozen. Don't come to Canada, we also have boxes of 18, and the larger ones are 30
A friend told me yesterday that her four-year-old announced she had done a poo "like a brown dolphin". Another friend remembers her little sister sitting on a potty and saying, "Look! It is a beautiful golden sun!" before they all waved it goodbye, discussing the beautiful sunset as they flushed it down the loo.
You should get new friends
I do not want to flush my daughter's beautiful sunsets down the loo.
Let me help you with that
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@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
She blames America for her daughter's fascination with her gigantic poos.
What an idiot.
Always blame Canada
In this particular case, it would make perfect sense to blame Dr Oz.
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@El_Heffe said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I've seen that one before, but it does look like they do it more often:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ouoBPgMqaYE&t=100
(I've started the video closer to the start of the actual song, start from the beginning if you want some extra cringy stuff)
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@JBert Babymetal topic is