The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@rhywden What do you mean, I just posted my favourite Hunger Games quote.
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@blakeyrat I'm partial to the Scatman one:
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@boomzilla You and your family?
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Terrifying new computer bug affects everyone
Researchers today sent out a desperate request for public help: marketers and artists were needed to come up with a name and logo for a newly discovered bug. "It is a terrifying vulnerability" said Sam Whitehat leader of the team that discovered the bug, "but without a name, we have no way to publicize it." The team had tried to come up with a name themselves, "but everything was already taken." "We exhaustively searched every name less than ten characters, but everything was used. We all remember the hfevodbj attacks announced last year, and hfevodbk is a social networking website. We couldn't find anything." When asked why the bug couldn't be released without a name the researchers laughed, "and how do I get tenure then?"
"This is a problem we have known about for years, and nothing is being done" says Michael Smith of the computer security organization CRA. "Our ability to make and then identify bugs vastly outpaces our ability to come up with names. Action must be taken by the government and soon. I urge congress to move HB-1532 out of committee immediately." That bill which would add hundreds of emoji characters to the alphabet is held up over a disagreement over a single character. "This is a matter of national security" says committee chair Tom Michaelson (D-WI), "We will put not pictures of poop on kindergarten walls in my state" says Rick McMaster (R-KS).
Franklin Fredericks, the acclaimed researcher behind hundreds of discoveries over the last decade, was more pessimistic. "Adding letters to the alphabet will only introduce additional bugs as computer programs must be modified to recognize that 'unicorn' comes between 's' and 't'. Frankly I've given up, and am moving my family to a computer free commune in California." He was last seen driving away in a 1970s VW Wagon, leaving behind a cloud of smoke and a crate full of bumper stickers and refrigerator magnets from the luujbda vulnerability he discovered last month.
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@bb36e that sounds like something the Onion would write.
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@bb36e I feel Mr. Fredericks. I have publicly expressed my desire at least three times in the last week to move to the Northwest Territories, raise alpacas, and never touch a computer again.
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@tsaukpaetra I note that pet food manufacturers are listed among those companies that test on animals…
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra I note that pet food manufacturers are listed among those companies that test on animals…
Clearly they're expected to test animal food on humans! :face_with_stuck-out_tongue_closed_eyes:
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@tsaukpaetra I note that pet food manufacturers are listed among those companies that test on animals…
Clearly they're expected to test animal food on humans! :face_with_stuck-out_tongue_closed_eyes:
Human taste testers are used to make sure each batch comes out the same. A dog taste tester can tell you if it likes the food, but not whether the food matches what it's supposed to.
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Also, what are Windex, 409, and SoundCloud testing on animals?
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Is Ralph Lauren testing clothing on animals?
I basically see five categories in there:
- Companies that want to make sure their products won't hurt pets
- Companies that make products for pets
- Companies that make office supplies just in case a dog wants to be an accountant
- Companies that make clothing for humans, which I am puzzled as to how they test on non-human animals
- Companies that host music sharing websites on the internet
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Human taste testers are used to make sure each batch comes out the same. A dog taste tester can tell you if it likes the food, but not whether the food matches what it's supposed to.
I feel like this conversation has been had in this forum not too long ago...
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Is Ralph Lauren testing clothing on animals?
I'd hazard they test the dyes?
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@pleegwat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Is Ralph Lauren testing clothing on animals?
I'd hazard they test the dyes?
Ralph Lauren also makes perfumes and cosmetics.
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@tsaukpaetra Purina tests their products on animals!? THOSE BASTARDS!
EDIT: apparently this meme is 9 months old and I am uncool now. Whatever. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/these-companies-test-on-animals
The SoundCloud logo is photoshopped on; the Purina one is genuine.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Nah, you'd have been Person Personchild. Obviously.
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@pleegwat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Person
OH NO
Your right. Should be Persun.
Like Bug-un or small-un, but more single.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@pleegwat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Person
OH NO
Your right. Should be Persun.
Like Bug-un or small-un, but more single.
Perchild Perchildchild
An instant clbuttic!
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Every once in a while someone gets the bright idea to pass an "official English" law here in Arizona. I look forward to the day they start trying to change place names to be in compliance with such a law: "Tucson" becomes "Black Foothill", "Nogales" becomes "Nuts", and "Eloy" becomes "OMG!"
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Subtle.
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@tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Thought I saw this in the names thread? Isn't he the mayor of a city in Texas?
He was a mayor in Indiana until 1954.
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@gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@hardwaregeek being in college, he might actually think teachers want to murder you...
You say that as if you don't think that?
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@chozang well, I am in college.
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@jaloopa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@masonwheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
On August 3, 2007, China's State Administration for Religious Affairs issued a decree that all the reincarnations of tulkus of Tibetan Buddhism must get government approval, otherwise they are "illegal or invalid". The decree states, "It is an important move to institutionalize management on reincarnation of living Buddhas. The selection of reincarnates must preserve national unity and solidarity of all ethnic groups and the selection process cannot be influenced by any group or individual from outside the country." It also requires that temples which apply for reincarnation of a living Buddha must be "legally-registered venues for Tibetan Buddhism activities and are capable of fostering and offering proper means of support for the living Buddha."[1][2]
People can not be unilaterally declared reincarnations of living Buddhas by temples. If the temple hasn't okayed it then the person is not recognised as a tulku, an important religious figure in Tibetan Buddhism.
Reading between the lines on that, it suggests that the law is more to do with keeping Tibet under control than anything else
Tibetan Buddhism has always been a strange mix of politics and religion. The Shamarpa, for example, was forbidden from reincarnating for a couple of centuries.
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@benjamin-hall regardless, if someone asks you if you would like some cake and then they bring you a brownie you are going to assume they are retarded.
Well...maybe you wouldn't. You are a nicer person than I am. But I would.
I might think they were retarded or I might think they were just the nicest person ever. They tell me they're going to bring me some cake and then they bring me the only thing better than cake instead.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Florida man at it again:
Why does Florida man have a Pats tattoo?
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@chozang I don't think the picture is of the right guy. This is the guy who broke in:
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also, what are Windex, 409, and SoundCloud testing on animals?
Yes it's from the link someone else posted
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A leaked photo of porn star Sasha Grey wearing clothes
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@el_heffe Seems about right. The other day the local grocery store's brownies were on sale for $4.99. Except the regular price is $3.99 and I know that because I've been working very hard to give myself diabetes.
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@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Florida man at it again:
Why does Florida man have a Pats tattoo?
He just summers in Florida.
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@zecc It's a reference to the new Avengers movie.
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@blek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@zecc It's a reference to the new Avengers movie.
OHHHHhhhhhh....
No, I still don't get it. And I've seen the movie.
Ok, fine, I get it now.
That particular quote most have gone over my head.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
No, it's still patriarchical. Try Perchild Perchildperchild.
But . Sorta.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
while (name.contains("son")) { name = name.replace("son", "person"); }
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@ben_lubar said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also, what are Windex, 409, and SoundCloud testing on animals?
Do you really want to know?