WTF Bites
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About 8 months ago, I couldn't access my workplace computer. Since it's a Linux machine, I know it's not crashed. I am guessing it's an issue with the UPS. So I open a support ticket asking to have someone turn my machine on, suggesting the UPS must be the issue.
Later that day, the ticket get closed with a note saying "your UPS's battery is broken, it needs to be changed. Your computer is back on".
About 6 months ago, same issue again. So I open another support ticket with a note saying "last time, I was told the battery was dead, it needs to be changed. Can someone change it or at least remove the UPS so when the power comes back, the computer comes back on?"
Later that day, the ticket get closed with the same note
Today, the same scenario just repeated. And I'm pretty sure it's the same support agent (I could confirm but
)FileUnder: technical support is useless
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Have you tried replacing the battery in the technical support drone?
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@Zerosquare said in WTF Bites:
Have you tried replacing the battery in the technical support drone?
Have you tried replacing the support drone with a battery?
Filed under: Power move.
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@Zerosquare said in WTF Bites:
Have you tried replacing the battery in the technical support drone?
I find threatening battery on the support drone to be a much more popular step.
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@Zerosquare said in WTF Bites:
Have you tried replacing the battery in the technical support drone?
Have you tried replacing the support drone with a battery?
Filed under: Power move.
What kind of battery? An AA battery (either meaning)? A mortar battery? A howitzer battery?
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@Benjamin-Hall said in WTF Bites:
What kind of battery? An AA battery (either meaning)? A mortar battery? A howitzer battery?
$ define battery
a container consisting of one or more cells
Definitively something with a single cell.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in WTF Bites:
What kind of battery? An AA battery (either meaning)? A mortar battery? A howitzer battery?
$ define battery
a container consisting of one or more cells
Definitively something with a single cell.
I'm not sure I have the capacitance to handle the inevitable jokes. And there are forum users who have extreme resistance to these electrifying jokes. Plus, battery is a crime. I'm afraid if we continue on this trajectory there will be incoming explosive responses of a very high caliber. Counter-battery fire, if you will.
ok, I'll stop now
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@Benjamin-Hall Welcome to the battery joke hall of fame induction. Besides our paid refreshments, depleted cells are available at no charge.
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@TwelveBaud said in WTF Bites:
As a reminder, depleted cells are available at no charge.
They may, however, induce extreme agitation. (See my Status post a few days back)
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json.org has a dead simple description of the grammar.
Zomg. Who the hell thought those figures needed to be like 2 parsec in each direction? Making them smaller would be start in making that shit readable, but there must be better way than those Duplo-sized blob-charts with rounded edges.
It would look fantastic on a high-res phone screen, if their layout worked on mobile:
But anyway, SVG has been around for years and is widely supported by the same modern systems that produce and consume json
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On touch screen, there is only one natural scroll method, and that is when the content follows the finger.
I remember using a friend's pre iPhone touchscreen phone which had used the computer convention for scrolling so swiping down started the viewport moving down. It was weird and confusing, in a similar way to moving a scroll wheel down to move the viewport up
I had a Windows Mobile device years ago and experimented with a lot of roms and launchers on it. One of the launchers I tried had a vertical menu with both kinds of scrolling: If you dragged the selection (visually I think it was a long magnifying lens) it would follow your finger in that direction, or you could drag on the menu above and below it to slide a different item under it. It kind of made sense, but the response "speed" and resistive touch screen made it nearly unusable.
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It would look fantastic on a high-res phone screen
Color me unconvinced. And not just because "looking fantastic" isn't something that ever applies to anything related to JSON.
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@cvi Looking at it on a phone screen, the diagrams would kinda-sorta match the size of the text, and make the best use of that high resolution. Kind of like this:
bolded textI think that's what they were going for.
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json.org has a dead simple description of the grammar.
Zomg. Who the hell thought those figures needed to be like 2 parsec in each direction? Making them smaller would be start in making that shit readable, but there must be better way than those Duplo-sized blob-charts with rounded edges.
It would look fantastic on a high-res phone screen, if their layout worked on mobile:
But anyway, SVG has been around for years and is widely supported by the same modern systems that produce and consume json
Seems fine to me....
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I had a Windows Mobile device years ago and experimented with a lot of roms and launchers on it. One of the launchers I tried had a vertical menu with both kinds of scrolling: If you dragged the selection (visually I think it was a long magnifying lens) it would follow your finger in that direction, or you could drag on the menu above and below it to slide a different item under it. It kind of made sense, but the response "speed" and resistive touch screen made it nearly unusable.
My Android device scrolls along with the finger when I drag the viewport; except, when I "click" the invisible scrollbar on the right edge of the screen, it either starts scrolling the opposite direction at best or jumps to a random scroll position at worst.
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@Zerosquare said in WTF Bites:
Have you tried replacing the battery in the technical support drone?
Recharging the battery might work instead, preferably at high voltage.
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Recharging the battery might work instead
Careful there, you might get charged with battery...
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User submits ticket saying they cannot connect to their office remotely. One of my people spends well over an hour this morning working with them trying to get them connected. He cannot get them connected to remote support to look at the issue directly. He gets frustrated and offers to meet with them directly as everything is going nowhere rapidly and he realizes that they live fairly close to him.
User was not connected to the internet.
I reviewed the chat logs and emails and he adequately walked them through verifying that as one of the first steps.
The only possible explanation I can come up with is that the user was doing some steps on another computer or just straight up lying. It's a coin toss. The only thing I can criticize on his part is that he asked:
"If you open a web browser can you access Google and other websites without issue?"When he probably should have asked:
"If you open a web browser can you access Google and other websites on the computer you are trying to connect to the office with, without issue?"This is where addendums to SOP start to veer towards the idiotic. This is "For external use only" labels on hemorrhoid cream levels of moronic.
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@Polygeekery said in WTF Bites:
User submits ticket saying they cannot connect to their office remotely. One of my people spends well over an hour this morning working with them trying to get them connected. He cannot get them connected to remote support to look at the issue directly. He gets frustrated and offers to meet with them directly as everything is going nowhere rapidly and he realizes that they live fairly close to him.
User was not connected to the internet.
I reviewed the chat logs and emails and he adequately walked them through verifying that as one of the first steps.
The only possible explanation I can come up with is that the user was doing some steps on another computer or just straight up lying. It's a coin toss. The only thing I can criticize on his part is that he asked:
"If you open a web browser can you access Google and other websites without issue?"When he probably should have asked:
"If you open a web browser can you access Google and other websites on the computer you are trying to connect to the office with, without issue?"This is where addendums to SOP start to veer towards the idiotic. This is "For external use only" labels on hemorrhoid cream levels of moronic.
On the plus side, character actors in your area work for well under scale.
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is WhatsApp using all that CPU for?
Oh. The window is full screen and that message is all that's shown.
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@loopback0 said in WTF Bites:
Oh. The window is full screen and that message is all that's shown.
UPGRADE OR I'LL MELT YOUR COMPUTER!
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@loopback0 said in WTF Bites:
Oh. The window is full screen and that message is all that's shown.
UPGRADE OR I'LL MELT YOUR COMPUTER!
That's really giving it 217.9%.
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- open Java project in VSCode
- IDE goes total
- CPU fan goes brrrr
- time passes
- C# Extension toaster - some projects failed to load (
this is all Java?), click to view log - le click
- log is blank
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- open Java project in VSCode
- IDE goes total
- CPU fan goes brrrr
- time passes
- C# Extension toaster - some projects failed to load ( this is all Java?), click to view log
- le click
- log is blank
Maybe I am
(would you be surprised?)VS Code apparently found a symlink back up to my
srcdirectory, which has every project I've ever worked on in it. Hm, wonder why that was slow.I don't know why it was recursively discovering projects though.
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- open Java project in VSCode
- IDE goes total
- CPU fan goes brrrr
- time passes
- C# Extension toaster - some projects failed to load ( this is all Java?), click to view log
- le click
- log is blank
Maybe I am
(would you be surprised?)VS Code apparently found a symlink back to up to my
srcdirectory, which has every project I've ever worked on in it. Hm, wonder why that was slow.I don't know why it was recursively discovering projects though.
Idgi, wasn't this the one Microsoft product that oh wait hahaha.
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I don't know why it was recursively discovering projects though.
Isn't that How It Works now? You don't have a project file that defines what and how code files are in the project, it just magics them in according to folder structure. Or at least, that's what I understood from when I watched a "Migrate from Visual Studio to Visual Studio Code" YouTube video where they essentially deleted the .csproj file and .sln file.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in WTF Bites:
"Migrate from Visual Studio to Visual Studio Code"
butwhy.gif
I have no fucking clue. That's just what $supervisor wanted (or mentioned they wanted).
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@Tsaukpaetra said in WTF Bites:
@Tsaukpaetra said in WTF Bites:
"Migrate from Visual Studio to Visual Studio Code"
butwhy.gif
I have no fucking clue. That's just what $supervisor wanted (or mentioned they wanted).
They want to save money on VS licenses. Expect great things in near future.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in WTF Bites:
"Migrate from Visual Studio to Visual Studio Code"
butwhy.gif
mr_krabs_money.jpgAlso, because VS is heavily pushing the subscription model now. VS2019 standalone is still available, but the next release might not anymore. Funny how that would coincide with proper x64 release, too.
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JiraI created a bug mistakenly as a feature. Wanted to change it. Nope. Nowhere in the UI. Grabbing at straws/windmills/etc, I clicked "...", "See old view". THERE'S the fucking edit button. Feature is now properly a Bug. (which also describes Jira)
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JiraI created a bug mistakenly as a feature. Wanted to change it. Nope. Nowhere in the UI. Grabbing at straws/windmills/etc, I clicked "...", "See old view". THERE'S the fucking edit button. Feature is now properly a Bug. (which also describes Jira)
To classify as a bug you just mention PM scare words now and the sentiment analysis does the rest. It was the only way.
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JiraI created a bug mistakenly as a feature. Wanted to change it. Nope. Nowhere in the UI. Grabbing at straws/windmills/etc, I clicked "...", "See old view". THERE'S the fucking edit button. Feature is now properly a Bug. (which also describes Jira)
As a matter of fact, I just came here to slack off during a Jira upgrade. Thought I could be away from that POS for a while, thank you so much!
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As a matter of fact, I just came here to slack off during a Jira upgrade. Thought I could be away from that POS for a while, thank you so much!
There's nothing wrong with Jira that can't be fixed by a special visit from
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As a matter of fact, I just came here to slack off during a Jira upgrade. Thought I could be away from that POS for a while, thank you so much!
There's nothing wrong with Jira that can't be fixed by a special visit from
.🍄 "Thanks for burning everything! But there's a mirror in another DC!"
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Two tickets came in this morning within five minutes of each other.
First ticket, user complaining that their printer won't print envelopes. Print jobs not going through. Nothing in the print queue for that printer.
Next ticket came in almost immediately. User complaining that their printer in their department keeps printing random addresses and stuff.
All printers are very clearly labeled.
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@Polygeekery said in WTF Bites:
Two tickets came in this morning within five minutes of each other.
First ticket, user complaining that their printer won't print envelopes. Print jobs not going through. Nothing in the print queue for that printer.
Next ticket came in almost immediately. User complaining that their printer in their department keeps printing random addresses and stuff.
All printers are very clearly labeled.
Never underestimate the ability of nature to build a better
ID-10-Tmouse
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@Polygeekery You will of course bill them for an on-site visit to switch around the printers.
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@Polygeekery You will of course bill them for an on-site visit to
switch around the printersencourage proper printer usage via a cattle prod.
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@Polygeekery said in WTF Bites:
@Polygeekery You will of course bill them for an on-site visit to
switch around the printersencourage proper printer usage via a cattle prod.Lock it down by MAC, yo.
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@Polygeekery said in WTF Bites:
@Polygeekery You will of course bill them for an on-site visit to
switch around the printersencourage proper printer usage via a cattle prod.Lock it down by MAC, yo.
But what if someone has a PC?
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@Polygeekery
That reminds me of the time Karen called and was shouting at the first line tech that we should stop printing and that she had already entered two boxes of paper into the printer ...
After some confusion we managed to gather that she, herself, had started a print job from one of our apps requesting a print out of all outgoing orders from 10 years back to present ...
I had a look at the server but our app had perfectly created a print job of 1000s of pages in record speed. It was all sitting in the print queue inaccessible to us ... we convinced her to shutdown the printer and call her local it drones ...
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@Polygeekery
That reminds me of the time Karen called and was shouting at the first line tech that we should stop printing and that she had already entered two boxes of paper into the printer ...
After some confusion we managed to gather that she, herself, had started a print job from one of our apps requesting a print out of all outgoing orders from 10 years back to present ...
I had a look at the server but our app had perfectly created a print job of 1000s of pages in record speed. It was all sitting in the print queue inaccessible to us ... we convinced her to shutdown the printer and call her local it drones ...Ah you see, you triggered an error code "IFYOUSAYSO".
This particular error occurs when the computer does exactly what you tell it to do.
In some more modern systems, it's referred to as error code "LOLOK"
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@sloosecannon said in WTF Bites:
@Polygeekery
That reminds me of the time Karen called and was shouting at the first line tech that we should stop printing and that she had already entered two boxes of paper into the printer ...
After some confusion we managed to gather that she, herself, had started a print job from one of our apps requesting a print out of all outgoing orders from 10 years back to present ...
I had a look at the server but our app had perfectly created a print job of 1000s of pages in record speed. It was all sitting in the print queue inaccessible to us ... we convinced her to shutdown the printer and call her local it drones ...Ah you see, you triggered an error code "IFYOUSAYSO".
This particular error occurs when the computer does exactly what you tell it to do.
In some more modern systems, it's referred to as error code "LOLOK"
I have a need for this thing.
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@sloosecannon said in WTF Bites:
@Polygeekery
That reminds me of the time Karen called and was shouting at the first line tech that we should stop printing and that she had already entered two boxes of paper into the printer ...
After some confusion we managed to gather that she, herself, had started a print job from one of our apps requesting a print out of all outgoing orders from 10 years back to present ...
I had a look at the server but our app had perfectly created a print job of 1000s of pages in record speed. It was all sitting in the print queue inaccessible to us ... we convinced her to shutdown the printer and call her local it drones ...Ah you see, you triggered an error code "IFYOUSAYSO".
This particular error occurs when the computer does exactly what you tell it to do.
In some more modern systems, it's referred to as error code "LOLOK"
I have a need for this thing.
Recommended remediations: Only tell the computer to do what you want it to do, and not what you don't want it to do. If instructed to do something you do not want it to do, the computer will do what you don't want it to do. Please ensure you are only instructing the computer to do things you want it to do.
