:baby_symbol: Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit
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@Jaloopa Remember to keep one hand behind his head. Until the neck muscled grow strong enough, they're at risk of snapping their own neck backwards.
...And some have a tendency to do that suddenly and without warning. You've been warned.
By the time they grow close to 1yo, it'll no longer be catastrophic if they decide to throw their upper body backwards into a steep U-shape. Scary. But not immediately dangerous. But that's only after the neck muscles are strong enough.
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@acrow said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:By the time they grow close to 1yo, it'll no longer be catastrophic if they decide to throw their upper body backwards into a steep U-shape.
They will, however, be quite capable of throwing their head and upper body forcefully forward, without warning, into violent contact with your head, face, collarbone or other vulnerable areas.
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@HardwareGeek said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:@acrow said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:By the time they grow close to 1yo, it'll no longer be catastrophic if they decide to throw their upper body backwards into a steep U-shape.
They will, however, be quite capable of throwing their head and upper body forcefully forward, without warning, into violent contact with your head, face, collarbone or other vulnerable areas.
This is something I've never understood. A kid is not really able to properly headbutt you until he's at least 2.5yo. And even then he'd need a running start to do damage.
But kids like to climb before they can walk. So I get stepped on, and kicked on a lot. Apparently I'm climb-able. Which is to me a bigger problem than headbutts. But is it just me?
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@acrow said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:A kid is not really able to properly headbutt you until he's at least 2.5yo. And even then he'd need a running start to do damage.
I see what you're getting at, but that's not (necessarily) the vulnerable area I was talking about.
The specific incident I remember, I was holding my daughter. She was maybe 1-ish; I'm not sure. Anyway, I was cuddling her against my chest. She, for whatever didn't want to be cuddled at that moment, and was being very squirmy and arching her back away from me. Suddenly, she reversed direction and flung her head and upper body forward with all the force her tiny muscles could deliver. Her head hit my face (forehead, I think, but it's been 25 years and details are a bit blurry). No real injury done, but the pain and surprise caused me to drop her.
I'm not sure I'd even remember the incident at all, except that the moment I dropped her, I scrambled to catch her before she hit the floor (successfully, or at least successfully enough that contact with the floor was gentle). However, this was a source of controversy with my (ex-)wife, because it looked to her like I had thrown my daughter to the floor.
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@HardwareGeek said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:@acrow said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:A kid is not really able to properly headbutt you until he's at least 2.5yo. And even then he'd need a running start to do damage.
I see what you're getting at, but that's not (necessarily) the vulnerable area I was talking about.
The specific incident I remember, I was holding my daughter. She was maybe 1-ish; I'm not sure. Anyway, I was cuddling her against my chest. She, for whatever didn't want to be cuddled at that moment, and was being very squirmy and arching her back away from me. Suddenly, she reversed direction and flung her head and upper body forward with all the force her tiny muscles could deliver.
Ohh. That way. Yeah, been there. Bent my glasses a bit.
Good thing we have plastic lenses now. Likely saved my glasses when 1yo decided to pull the glasses off my head and throw them on the floor. When I was holding him on my shoulder.
Btw, "superflex" joints, in glasses frames? I highly recommend them. Saved my glasses at least 3 times by now. They're just an extra set of spring joints, but they prevent damage when a 1-2yo bends the glasses in the exact worst way possible.
Her head hit my face (forehead, I think, but it's been 25 years and details are a bit blurry). No real injury done, but the pain and surprise caused me to drop her.
I managed to hold on. Thank God.
Only time I've really dropped mine was when I turned my back for a moment when he was on the changing table. I turned back just in time to see him come over the edge. Cue frantic almost-catch, but I did manage to slow the landing. And he landed feet first. So no real damage. But a lot of shouting.
I'm not sure I'd even remember the incident at all, except that the moment I dropped her, I scrambled to catch her before she hit the floor (successfully, or at least successfully enough that contact with the floor was gentle). However, this was a source of controversy with my (ex-)wife, because it looked to her like I had thrown my daughter to the floor.
I once forgot which child I was holding. Plopped a 7mo down on his feet, since I was used to placing the 2.5yo down that way. 7mo proceeded to fall flat on his face, without pausing to stand even a moment.
I was visiting my grandparents at the time, and they asked me why I'd seen fit to drop the baby. Mortifying.
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@acrow said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:Good thing we have plastic lenses now. Likely saved my glasses when 1yo decided to pull the glasses off my head and throw them on the floor. When I was holding him on my shoulder.
I've learned I can't wear a hat while carrying my 2 and a half year old in a sling on my back. Far too tempting
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Scary moment today. I'd been at the park with the older two while my wife was at an appointment with the baby. They weren't happy about having to leave but I'd managed to get them away. I was holding middle's hand while eldest was walking with us. Middle decided to cause a fuss so I stopped to grab his hand again, and when I looked up the eldest was running full pelt back to the park and, more pressingly, the road we'd just crossed. I had to engage full dad voice, as loud as I'm physically capable of shouting and she didn't acknowledge me until I said "IF YOU DON'T STOP WE ARE GOING HOME RIGHT NOW!"
4 going on 14. She told us on the way home that she was going to go to her room and shut the door
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Status: The frog survived about 20 minutes and 9 kids knowing where it was before it got transplanted.
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Today I visited a good friend. She has four kids (the youngest being just five weeks old, the oldest is seven) so we went to a playground after coffee.
That's when the infant ... leaked. The father returned home to change the kid (and also his shirt as that had become a casualty). Upon his return 40 minutes later (their home is just five minutes from the playground) he remarked that it had been a complete blowout.
As it is their fourth, they took it in stride.
She also told me today that she was told after the birth of her latest child that it had a perfect knot in the umbilical cord. Which would have made the birth a bit problematic if it had taken long. In her case it didn't matter because she was 30 meters from the entrance to the hospital (they're living a mere 1 km from the hospital) when she had to catch the baby herself so it did not drop on the ground...
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I was taking my 7 yo daughter to the playground yesterday. As we were crossing a street and only few steps in I saw that it was clear and I let go of her hand told her go ahead so she can run to the corner.
I didn't really think much of it but I generally would do so once we were about ~3/4th across.
She asked me (whispering), are you giving me more responsibility?
I though it was so cute.
Later that day when we went out again but with Dad and older sister. She whispered are you going to tell older sister that you gave more responsibility again.
I did tell her when she is with her older siblings she has to follow their rules. The boys are especially cautious with her.
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My oldest has discovered memes and stupid skinner box games. We limit his time on them, but he likes playing a stupid game called DogeMiner. Which from what I can tell is basically a Doge version of the stupid Cookie Clicker game that was going around some time ago.
So me being me, whenever he says "Doge" (and he pronounces it properly), I reply with:
"I'm pretty sure it's pronounced 'doggie'."Which annoys him.
"Dad, it's pronounced 'doge', not 'doggie'."This has been going on for a couple of weeks. Tonight I say it and he comes back with:
"Dad, you just don't understand memes."
"Son, have you ever considered that me calling it 'doggie' is in and of itself a meme?" 
If I were not so tired I would make a Bane "born in memes" meme.
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A friend posted this about a couple of her sons (she has 3...they were in my Pack when I was Cubmaster):
E likes to dance during his classes, headphones and all, and, since he is supposed to leave his camera on, he's ended up distracting the whole class. I got an email from his teacher "in the interest of keeping everyone involved in their lessons, please tell E that he's allowed to turn off his camera if 'he just has to dance.'" That's how he explained it to her: "sometimes, I just have to dance."
W wrapped himself up in a giant blanket all week, just his face peeking out. By Thursday, he'd added sunglasses to the look and all you could really see was those and parts of his headphones. All so that, Friday, he could pile up the blanket, headphones, and sunglasses in front of the camera and be in the kitchen having a snack. I'm strangely proud that he worked it out and it worked for him.
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@boomzilla we caught kids trying to make their pictures into a zoom background. It's obvious if you've looking, but when you have 30 kids on a tiny screen...
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My 7 yo learned how to play MineCraft early into the lockdown. I sit with her when she's playing and she shows me what she's building, etc.
I'm constantly being a mom while she plays:
Be careful on the bridge I don't want you to fall.
I'm in creative mode, Mommmmm! Don't kill the sheep that's not nice.
I'm doing it for food.
Well, that's ok. Don't steal that pig from the village. You shouldn't be stealing.
If they are not in a pen they don't belong to anyone.
That's ok, then. Don't wake up the villager, that's rude.
He would do it to me.
Hmmm ~Channelling Marge Simpson~And when she was in the Nether:
Stop bathing in lava!!! I don't want you to get hurt!!
I'm in creative mode, Mommmmm! I can't get hurt.I like to think she enjoys it as much as I do.
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@Karla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:I like to think she enjoys it as much as I do.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:@boomzilla we caught kids trying to make their pictures into a zoom background. It's obvious if you've looking, but when you have 30 kids on a tiny screen...
In my kid's class it apparently doesn't matter. The other day he was supposed to be doing some reading assignment thing on Zoom. He walks in the kitchen:
"Is your reading small group already done?"
"No."
"Then get back in there and get to it."
"Why? Nobody else is doing it."
"I find that hard to believe, that no one else is participating."
"Go ahead and check."So since he has the misfortune of being born to a nerd father, his laptop for his e-learning has my remote support software installed on it, and VNC, and a leftover license for some software a client had used to spy on an employee's work to build a case before terminating them, etc.
I connect via VNC and there is the Teams meeting (Teams is absolute rubbish, BTW) and there's the teacher in the middle of the window, surrounded by either placeholders for kids who have their cameras off or just a spot where a kid should be sitting. There was literally no other kid visible in the meeting.
I suppose I helped his apathy along. He heard me discussing on a phone call with the PE teacher how my son is never in those meetings.
"So I notice that (son's name) is never in the Teams meeting for PE."
"Yeah."
"Why is that?"
"I watched one of those meetings. It's you doing pushups while very bored looking kids watch you on webcam. I don't think he needs to be a part of that. I told him that while it was going on he could go outside and play or whatever."
"He may end up failing my class."
"That's fine. Failing PE won't get him held back and his time is more productively spent playing outside. I get that you are doing what you can do with what you have, but it is just not a good use of his time. I would rather he get a break, do some actual physical play and then be in a better mood for the rest of the classes during the day."
"Okay."I'm sure that he thinks I am a total dick. He's not entirely wrong.
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@Polygeekery said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:I'm sure that he thinks I am a total dick. He's not entirely wrong.
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My sister posted this last night:
What's the typical life span of a Chromebook for a kindergartner?
Asking for a mom whose son scribbled crayon all over the keyboard because he "didn't like the color it was". #momlife #distancelearning
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@Polygeekery said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:It's you doing pushups while very bored looking kids watch you on webcam.
My son has started doing pushups when he gets frustrated or angry. It seems to be happening multiple times a day.
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@boomzilla Remind him about leg days
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@boomzilla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:My sister posted this last night:
What's the typical life span of a Chromebook for a kindergartner?
Asking for a mom whose son scribbled crayon all over the keyboard because he "didn't like the color it was". #momlife #distancelearningApparently crayon is a weak conductor. That is, it conducts electricity, but not enough that the crumbs would cause problems even if they found their way through the keyboard.
TILYMMV if it was a "crayon" made of something other than wax.
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@acrow said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:@boomzilla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:My sister posted this last night:
What's the typical life span of a Chromebook for a kindergartner?
Asking for a mom whose son scribbled crayon all over the keyboard because he "didn't like the color it was". #momlife #distancelearningApparently crayon is a weak conductor. That is, it conducts electricity, but not enough that the crumbs would cause problems even if they found their way through the keyboard.
TILYMMV if it was a "crayon" made of something other than wax.
When my daughter was a toddler, I learned that baby wipes clean crayon off of monitors.
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@boomzilla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:My sister posted this last night:
What's the typical life span of a Chromebook for a kindergartner?
Asking for a mom whose son scribbled crayon all over the keyboard because he "didn't like the color it was". #momlife #distancelearningBack when I was 10, I did a typing course. This involved blinding out the letter keys on the keyboard with stickers so I couldn't cheat.
This annoyed the hell out of my dad, who unlike my mum never learned blind typing. I don't recall what my younger siblings thought of the matter.
And then of course in the next few years he had to go through it twice more as my siblings reused my course material.
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@PleegWat said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:@boomzilla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:My sister posted this last night:
What's the typical life span of a Chromebook for a kindergartner?
Asking for a mom whose son scribbled crayon all over the keyboard because he "didn't like the color it was". #momlife #distancelearningBack when I was 10, I did a typing course. This involved blinding out the letter keys on the keyboard with stickers so I couldn't cheat.
This annoyed the hell out of my dad, who unlike my mum never learned blind typing. I don't recall what my younger siblings thought of the matter.
And then of course in the next few years he had to go through it twice more as my siblings reused my course material.
If you're teaching your childen to do that too, I recommend buying a blank keyboard. It's got to be more pleasant than typing on stickers. And it's easy to switch keyboards, so you're not tormenting any elderly residents needlessly.
Me, I bought a "Überkeyboard" a decade ago or so (the photo is from a random blog - this particular keyboard seems to be no longer on the market):
https://ihme.org/~miipekk/uberkeyboard/img_2181.jpg
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I believe that I've mentioned before that my 'Stupid Human Trick' is that I'm really good at claw machines and the like. I have to imagine that me being a really good heavy machinery operator helps. It's similar skills.
For instance, I can walk up to a claw machine and tell you immediately if any of the prizes can be won, which ones, and in what order. Tonight that carried over to a 'drill machine' game. The back wall of it is tubes full of Beanie Babies and you have to align the 'drill' such that it hits dead center on the tube and pushes the prize out the back. The first two tries were realizing that there is a slope to the drill so if you align it perfectly you're going to hit high every time. Cheeky fucking bastards.
After that I was dead on. We spent $25 at the resort arcade, each try on the drill machine was 50¢ and we walked away with 20+ Beanie Babies. That's not counting the other kids in the arcade that asked me to win one for them. That would be another half dozen. Once I was done the only prizes left were the ones that were behind mechanisms where I couldn't adequately aim.
Honestly, it was remarkably similar to digging deep sewer again. The motions were very similar to digging inside of a trench box. The machine had a lot of overtravel so you had to go past and come back to where you wanted to aimz and account for the offset from the slope. So like shooting and digging in a box.
My boys were amazed. When you're a parent you have a lot of time that is your kids mad at you for disciplining them. It's always nice when they look at you like a rockstar for a change.
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My 7 yo daughter knows the lyrics to this song:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6fd2kkLmSDQ
That's better than my cousin's 5 yo singing the lyrics to "It wasn't me" by Shaggy in front of her Catholic school teachers.
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A couple days ago, I was helping my 3-year-old cleanup in the bathroom, when she suddenly started saying, "Water. Earth. Fire. Air," jabbing with alternating hands to emphasize each one. Later that day, she stumbled through, "Long ago, the four nations lived together in harmony. Then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked."
I'm so proud of her.
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New dad...we've all been there...
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@boomzilla that took me longer than it should have.
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@Polygeekery him, too.
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@Polygeekery To be fair, for all you or I know at first, there's supposed to be another kid.
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@boomzilla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:New dad...we've all been there...
Reminds me of the times when my eldest was tiny and I was used to falling asleep with her on my chest. More than once I woke up after am actual sleep, panicked that there was no weight on me
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@boomzilla IDGI
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@boomzilla No brakes. No forward fall guard. Tiny tyres. ...Don't use it in California or Finland. Ever. Please.
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For folks who don't frequent The Bee.
SCOTUS Installs Garage Door So ACB Can Stop In And Hear Arguments Before Dropping Kids Off At Soccer Practice
WASHINGTON, D.C.—To make things easier on the successful wife, justice, and mother of seven, the Supreme Court has installed a garage door behind the bench so Justice Amy Coney Barrett can drive right up to the bench in her minivan while on the way to drop the kids off at soccer practice.
In hearing cases today, Barrett made sound constitutional arguments and asked great questions, though her statements were punctuated by phrases like, "Stop hitting your sister!" and "Is everyone sharing back there?"
Don't think there's anything garagey in TFA , is there? Apart from the garage door itself, I mean.
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Watch until the end:
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@boomzilla said in
Parenting advice - you're gonna get hit:Watch until the end:
I'm normally against intentional groin shots but in this case...he kinda deserved it.
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@boomzilla
And then we wonder how child mortality was so high in previous centuries
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