The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@mott555 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska I misread that as "Calculating how many rectal helium tanks you'd have..."
Zero. That number is firmly at zero.
I remember my 8th grade shop teacher talking about the damage caused by some jokers taking a compressed-gas hose (from a cylinder) and shoving it up someone's rectum. Yes, it did. Rectum, that is.
Growing up, one of my dad's friends had a fairly large remodeling business. One of the oddest on the job injuries resulted from the guys horsing around with a power nailer. They would empty the framing nailer, sneak up behind someone, hold back the bump stop (prevents the nailer from firing unless depressed fully against an object, and hopefully that object is lumber) and fire the nailer while yelling "WATCH OUT!!!!" or something similar.
Well, one day there was a straggler. The nailer wasn't empty, and due to how and where the nailer was being held a fellow took a 3.5" framing nail right in his ass cheek.
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What is it with duplicating (or sometimes triplicating) short clips?
Ad money. There's a certain time threshold under which you can't monetize. There's also another threshold that enables longer ads - the legend says it's 10 minutes but honestly I couldn't find any reliable source of that. But the legend is enough to make people extend 3 minute content into over 10 minutes. But they never extend it more than absolutely necessary, either. The result is, you can avoid 90% of YouTube's crap by never playing any videos between 10 and 11 minutes long.
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Growing up, one of my dad's friends had a fairly large remodeling business.
My brain managed to scramble that into "large fairy remodeling business" and got me thoroughly confused until I reread it. Apparently, the one cup of coffee I drank when arriving at work wasn't enough...
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you can avoid 90% of YouTube's crap by never playing any videos
between 10 and 11 minutes long.I started making a joke based on that, but then I realised that with auto-playing and other shit, the "fixed" version is actually sadder than the original one...
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Apparently, the one cup of coffee I drank when arriving at work wasn't enough...
It never is. I suggest amphetamines.
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status: YouTube you're being funny aren't you?
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@Tsaukpaetra That foot-mouse is a great idea if I ever need to surreptitiously control a computer.
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@error if I'm not I get cranky. My flavor is Adderall XR, 20-30mg a day.
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
if I'm not I get cranky
And then the murders began
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@Polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Adderall
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
By spraying tiny droplets of wee all over the stall and their clothes, apparently.
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@El_Heffe OMG Is... that.... Damn, I must be missing out!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Damn, I must be missing out!
you want to visit baby showers in december?
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@Luhmann said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Damn, I must be missing out!
you want to visit baby showers in december?
I've been told they're full of hormonal women, so why not?
The way I see it, it's a gathering celebrating the success of copulation, and in theory it incites those without to "join in".
Television shows convince me this should be as simple as selecting a lobster from the tank in preparation for a succulent and tasty meal.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Television shows convince me this should be as simple as selecting a lobster from the tank in preparation for a succulent and tasty meal.
To me this sounds more like a recipe for regret and alimony.
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Say it with flowers...
From Wumo 2020-03-15
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@JBert said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Television shows convince me this should be as simple as selecting a lobster from the tank in preparation for a succulent and tasty meal.
To me this sounds more like a recipe for regret and alimony.
Of course! That's what makes it a good show!
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In honor of today (the Ides of March):
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
In honor of today (the Ides of March):
What does stabbing a salad dressing that originated in Mexico have to do with the Ides of March?
Mexico wasn't even a thing at the time of the Tyrant's removal by the Senate...
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From our Nextdoor group: "I hope we get over corona before tick season or we will have corona with lyme"
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What the fuck is with the empty eyesockets though?
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@boomzilla IDGI
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@JBert the bracelet