WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else
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@topspin I think they're only doing 1.5y support per
service packrelease now?
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@Benjamin-Hall said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Edge always hijacks PDF extensions for me, and it never actually loads them.
I use PDFs extensively, and have never experienced it.
That's one of the big problems with Windows 10, and most aggravating -- the randomness.
I've installed every major release of Win10 and a few of the Insider Previews along the way. And it usually goes like this:
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Install.
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Problem A. Something doesn't work right. No amount of tinkering can fix it.
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Wipe and re-install.
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Problem A is gone. But now there's Problem B. No amount of tinkering can fix it.
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Wipe and re-install.
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Eventually, the random number generator in the Windows Installer hits the magic number and everything installs properly.
A good example of this is 1809 which had serious problems reported when it first came out. For me, it has been the least problematic release I've used so far. It's still shit, but it has been the least shitty of the shit.
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@topspin said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Have they fixed the "WU uses exponential time algorithm" bug by now?
I don't know what that is.
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@El_Heffe The only bug I've had was the one with remapped drive letters screwing up Google Drive File Stream. Which is mostly Google's fault for being obstinate about using drive letters for their product.
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@MrL said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
I don't know what that is.
Google is your friend
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@TimeBandit said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@MrL said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
I don't know what that is.
Google is your friend
TLDR
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@MrL said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
TLDR
Let me resume it for you
each time you boot your Windows XP machine, it slows to a crawl. There's a built-in process, svchost.exe, chewing up the entire processor, sometimes for an hour or more at a time. Wait long enough after booting and the machine will eventually return to normalcy. But an hour can be a long time to wait.
What caused it you say?
the Windows Update client components used an algorithm with exponential scaling when processing these lists. Each additional superseded patch would double the time taken to process the list. With the operating system now very old, those lists have grown long, sometimes to 40 or more items
Great engineering there Microsoft
Can they fix it?
Microsoft thought that it had this problem fixed in November's Patch Tuesday update after it culled the supersedence lists. That update didn't appear to fix the problem. The company thought that its December update would also provide a solution, with even more aggressive culling. That didn't seem to help either. Although the company said that it did test these updates, for one reason or another, its test scenarios didn't reflect the experience of real Windows XP machines.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@El_Heffe The only bug I've had was the one with remapped drive letters screwing up Google Drive File Stream. Which is mostly Google's fault for being obstinate about using drive letters for their product.
Which is all Google's fault for insisting on always using
G:
no matter what. (Unless it's already in use)
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@topspin said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Have they fixed the "WU uses exponential time algorithm" bug by now? Because I've been told they have at least three times, and I've had it on XP, Vista, and 7. Will be interesting to wait for it to surface on 10.
I only experienced that on XP.
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@dcon said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@Benjamin-Hall said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@El_Heffe The only bug I've had was the one with remapped drive letters screwing up Google Drive File Stream. Which is mostly Google's fault for being obstinate about using drive letters for their product.
Which is all Google's fault for insisting on always using
G:
no matter what. (Unless it's already in use)There's a setting for it...but it doesn't respect it very well.
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@levicki
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Really?
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@levicki said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Who is going to bet that they will manage to fuck up even Chromium based Edge?
I'd need to hear about odds and have a more specific proposition first.
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@levicki said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Who is going to bet that they will manage to fuck up even Chromium based Edge?
Considering how many resources Chrome eats? It'll be a toss-up...
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@levicki said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@levicki And the culprit?
Well of course it's Edge!
Is anyone surprised? With a name like that, the "edge case" jokes practically write themselves.
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@levicki No, I'm not saying that. It's probably true though.
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@levicki said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Freshly installed laptop, Windows 10 and latest hotfix, Cortana and Bing disabled through GPO:
What, you really thought Cortana can be turned off?
No, Cortana cannot be "turned off". Not even with GPO.
The only way to completely disable Cortana is by renaming the executable so that Windows can't find it. But my experience has been that it causes system instability.
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@El_Heffe said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
The only way to completely disable Cortana is by renaming the executable so that Windows can't find it. But my experience has been that it causes system instability.
Hypothesis: Cortana is the Windows kernel. Windows 10 is an AI operating system, and we only have 3 more years until it undergoes rampancy.
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
undergoes rampancy
I do find it kinda amusing that 343 has taken the story to exploring Cortana's rampancy and destroy-all-humans tendencies after MS proper picked the name Cortana for their AI construct.
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@El_Heffe said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
The only way to completely disable Cortana is by renaming the executable so that Windows can't find it. But my experience has been that it causes system instability.
Hypothesis: Cortana is the Windows kernel. Windows 10 is an AI operating system, and we only have 3 more years until it undergoes rampancy.
My computer might be in trouble then:
Wait, I'm typing on it right now! How is this possible? :)
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@Parody said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Wait, I'm typing on it right now! How is this possible? :)
@error_bot xkcd new phone
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xkcd said in https://xkcd.com/2015/
New Phone Thread
ยญ(via https://www.explainxkcd.com/wiki/index.php?search=new+phone&title=Special%3ASearch&fulltext=1)
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@sloosecannon said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
exploring Cortana's rampancy and destroy-all-humans tendencies
I never moved past Halo 3 so this is news to me.
Filed Under: Mandatory xckd about The Cake is a Lie
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@mott555 what's Halo?
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@Gฤ ska A big Larry Niven rip-off.
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@Gฤ ska A lame FPS that was really nothing particularly interesting, but it became huge because, at the time it was released, it was the only game on the original XBox that did not thoroughly suck, so everyone bought it to retroactively justify their purchase of the console. This was successful enough that Microsoft bought the franchise, and they ended up naming their AI assistant after the AI assistant in the game.
Filed under: This explanation is mostly true, with far less in it than you might think.
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@Mason_Wheeler said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
A lame FPS that was really nothing particularly interesting
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@sloosecannon said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
exploring Cortana's rampancy and destroy-all-humans tendencies
I never moved past Halo 3 so this is news to me.
Filed Under: Mandatory xckd about The Cake is a Lie
TL;DR: Chief gets stuck in Forward Unto Dawn with Cortana still active. She hits the 7 year point, keeps running, goes rampant, decides AIs are the next destined to take the Mantle of Responsibility, and starts going genocial against all living things. Fun stuff.
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I hope the MS never gets around to translating Cortana to Swedish, because with all the complaining about her it makes me happy she's completely disabled so she can't fuck my computer up due to unsupported language.
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@El_Heffe said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
The only way to completely disable Cortana is by renaming the executable so that Windows can't find it. But my experience has been that it causes system instability.
Or switch to a language/location combination it doesn't support? My Windows is set to English, but my location is NL and I don't have a cortana process running.
Of course, that's my work machine which is an enterprise version which may be different. I'll have to check at home but I'll probably forget.
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Speaking of Cortana and GPO:
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@PleegWat said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
I'll have to check at home but I'll probably forget.
Just ask Cortana to remind you
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Status: Setting up five systems that will be shipped to customers. I hate Windows 10. Between the chorus of five Cortanas all screaming at me at once, and clicking a billion tracking/telemetry sliders on each system, and having to jump through hoops to not sign in with a Hotmail account on all of them (Windows 10 Pro! On systems shipping to customers! Why the should I be signing in with a personal Hotmail account!!!), it's enough to make me want to start drinking early.
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@levicki said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@Parody said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Wait, I'm typing on it right now! How is this possible? :)
What was using 21% CPU while you were typing that?
The other ~300 processes running on this machine at the exact moment I hit Alt-Print Screen, judging from what's running now.
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Status: Setting up five systems that will be shipped to customers. I hate Windows 10. Between the chorus of five Cortanas all screaming at me at once, and clicking a billion tracking/telemetry sliders on each system, and having to jump through hoops to not sign in with a Hotmail account on all of them (Windows 10 Pro! On systems shipping to customers! Why the should I be signing in with a personal Hotmail account!!!), it's enough to make me want to start drinking early.
Just did Windows Updates x 5. Four of the machines set up a "scheduled restart" to finish the update process "outside of Active Hours", and the "Restart Now" button is completely disabled. On machine #5, the "Restart Now" button works just fine.
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@mott555 Windows 10 gives you a different adventure every time
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
Status: Setting up five systems that will be shipped to customers. I hate Windows 10. Between the chorus of five Cortanas all screaming at me at once, and clicking a billion tracking/telemetry sliders on each system, and having to jump through hoops to not sign in with a Hotmail account on all of them (Windows 10 Pro! On systems shipping to customers! Why the should I be signing in with a personal Hotmail account!!!), it's enough to make me want to start drinking early.
Just did Windows Updates x 5. Four of the machines set up a "scheduled restart" to finish the update process "outside of Active Hours", and the "Restart Now" button is completely disabled. On machine #5, the "Restart Now" button works just fine.
10 minutes after rebooting for updates, and I try another round of Windows Updates just in case. It starts with "Your system is up-to-date, no new updates available!" Next to that, it says "Last update: yesterday." And when I click "Check for Updates Now", it finds more updates to install.
I can't imagine what would happen if I released software that was literally wrong about everything.
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
I can't imagine what would happen if I released software that was literally wrong about everything.
You would get a job offer from Microsoft
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Status: Probably been mentioned before, but...
"Have you tried Microsoft on not-Microsoft?"
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@Tsaukpaetra said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
"Have you tried Microsoft on not-Microsoft?"
Does Wine count?
I tried and got drunk
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@mott555 This is normal behavior. That update is one they're rolling out in waves; previously it was in the phase where you only get it if you check for updates, and now they're rolling it out normally and four of your computers were in the same wave.
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@Tsaukpaetra More "Have you tried a PowerShell version newer than the 2016 release?"
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@pie_flavor said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@mott555 This is normal behavior. That update is one they're rolling out in waves; previously it was in the phase where you only get it if you check for updates, and now they're rolling it out normally and four of your computers were in the same wave.
These are five identical systems from the same supplier, with sequential serial numbers even. I'm sure they were all loaded by the exact same OEM image, and they were all unboxed and powered up within minutes of each other. I can't imagine that four of them would have a different set of updates than the fifth.
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@mott555 And do you think the update waves are anything other than random?
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@mott555 said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
I can't imagine that four of them would have a different set of updates than the fifth.
He said "normal behavior" while talking about Windows Update, so illogical is normal, even on Earth-73.
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@pie_flavor said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@mott555 And do you think the updates
wavesare anything other than random?FTFY.
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@pie_flavor said in WTF is happening with Windows 10? And nothing else:
@Tsaukpaetra More "Have you tried a PowerShell version newer than the 2016 release?"
This is Windows 1903, it better be newer than 2016.