terrible video games that should never be made
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@pleegwat QTEs does not exist in what I was describing. But those tend to be a terrible idea regardless of game.
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@pleegwat said in terrible video games that should never be made:
You're forgetting
quick timepress-this-button-to-not-die events.FTFY
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Goddammit. If you're going to tell stories about retarded game devs, at least cite some source, or even just hide a Wikipedia link in there for those of us not blessed with Blakeyrat's near legendary encyclopaedic knowledge of gaming to understand what you're talking about.
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@arantor said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Goddammit. If you're going to tell stories about retarded game devs, at least cite some source, or even just hide a Wikipedia link in there for those of us not blessed with Blakeyrat's near legendary encyclopaedic knowledge of gaming to understand what you're talking about.
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@arantor said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Goddammit. If you're going to tell stories about retarded game devs, at least cite some source, or even just hide a Wikipedia link in there for those of us not blessed with Blakeyrat's near legendary encyclopaedic knowledge of gaming to understand what you're talking about.
I was actually just complaining about this stupid thread in a secret Discord you can't join that nobody's linking to the fucking games so I have no clue what they're talking about.
My knowledge doesn't apply to shitty Japanese crap, generally. I'm guessing most of these stories are about Japanese games, but who even knows.
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@blakeyrat the first few did get links, albeit hiding them in the punctuation at the end, but the later ones don't and it's really annoying.
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@arantor I am sorry! In my post I was referring to a game called "Alien Swarm: Reactive Drop". You can get it on Steam and some admin of ours might be a co-creator. Hence my snarky comment. The other creator that BenLubar would constantly complain about was from the ukraine. That's the Filed Under.
Filed Under: Disclaimer: I have not reread my post. Some of this might not be factual
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For the (stupidly slow) games mentioned in my post:
And the enhanced (and faster) version:
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@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I haven't even played the games in question, and I knew what that one was about. Major popcultural osmosis fail on 's part...
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@masonwheeler said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I haven't even played the games in question, and I knew what that one was about. Major popcultural osmosis fail on 's part...
I still don't know what yours are referring to. Major pop-cultural popularity failure on :@masonwheeler:'s part ???
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@blakeyrat said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@arantor said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Goddammit. If you're going to tell stories about retarded game devs, at least cite some source, or even just hide a Wikipedia link in there for those of us not blessed with Blakeyrat's near legendary encyclopaedic knowledge of gaming to understand what you're talking about.
I was actually just complaining about this stupid thread in a secret Discord you can't join that nobody's linking to the fucking games so I have no clue what they're talking about.
My knowledge doesn't apply to shitty Japanese crap, generally. I'm guessing most of these stories are about Japanese games, but who even knows.
... ... ......... Wait, people actually made these things?!?! I thought this thread was satire of hypotheticals!!!
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@masonwheeler said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Major popcultural osmosis fail
.... I hate you all.
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@masonwheeler said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I haven't even played the games in question, and I knew what that one was about. Major popcultural osmosis fail on 's part...
It started off vaguely like Counter-Strike, which threw me off the scent.
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I was referring to the point where the Final Fantasy series jumped the shark, with 7 and then 8. He was talking about essentially the entire history of the MOBA genre.
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@masonwheeler Ah, ok. @Atazhaia's comment makes more sense now.
But really, wouldn't the second one have jumped the shark, purely on the naming of the series? I mean really, if it's "Final", then there shouldn't be any further installments, because that was the last one, right? And now there's 15 of them?‽!
I've played a bit of FF7: Crisis Core, and I think I watched FF7: Advent Children, but I have no experience with any of the rest of them.
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@masonwheeler said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I haven't even played the games in question, and I knew what that one was about. Major popcultural osmosis fail on 's part...
Amazingly, not everyone's interested in the same types of games.
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@zecc exactly, I don't play MOBA. In fact when I saw the "major publisher with own brand DRM" I thought of Ubisoft, not Valve and then was confused because I couldn't think of any Ubisoft games that fitted the description.
But sure, blame it on me not having an encyclopaedic knowledge of games.
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@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
and blows everyone else out of the water
Yeah I suppose that's why they had a ONE MILLION DOLLAR prize pool for their 2016 tournament, whereas the loser company in the previous paragraph could only afford a $20,770,460 prize pool.
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A friend who has played a lot of MOBA tells me to stay the fuck away from Dota2, even though he played it heavily for a period. Rampant elitism in the playerbase makes it an incredibly toxic game to play combined with a steep learning curve, so he said that even if I would want to play Dota2 I should start with HotS, get good at that, and then move over.
Although atm LoL is heavily dominating that genre. I've never played it, but I come into contact with it a lot due to my work.
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I'm struggling to think of actual video games that were based on terrible concepts instead of just having terrible implementations.
The best I can think of is
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fbCNKq7A5i4
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@anonymous234 I Only skimmed through the video, but I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on.
But it reminded me of Desert Bus:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LtiHla1dNg
The drive from Tucson, Arizona, to Las Vegas, Nevada, takes approximately eight hours when travelling in a vehicle whose top speed is forty-five miles per hour. In Desert Bus, an unreleased video game from 1995 conceived by the American illusionists and entertainers Penn Jillette and Teller, players must complete that journey in real time.
Finishing a single leg of the trip requires considerable stamina and concentration in the face of arch boredom: the vehicle constantly lists to the right, so players cannot take their hands off the virtual wheel; swerving from the road will cause the bus’s engine to stall, forcing the player to be towed back to the beginning. The game cannot be paused. The bus carries no virtual passengers to add human interest, and there is no traffic to negotiate.The only scenery is the odd sand-pocked rock or road sign. Players earn a single point for each eight-hour trip completed between the two cities, making a Desert Bus high score perhaps the most costly in gaming.
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@zecc The difference with Desert Bus is it was deliberately bad.
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@djls45 said in terrible video games that should never be made:
But really, wouldn't the second one have jumped the shark, purely on the naming of the series? I mean really, if it's "Final", then there shouldn't be any further installments, because that was the last one, right? And now there's 15 of them?‽!
There's an interesting story behind the name. The guys who created it had tried several other video games first, and all of them flopped. So they decided to go and do one last attempt, just for the pure love of it. They went all out, designing the most awesome thing they could come up with on their limited resources... their final fantasy.
And then it was a massive success, and the players wanted more.
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@zecc said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I Only skimmed through the video, but I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on.
http://crappy-games.wikia.com/wiki/CrazyBus
TL;DR it's a test program for a BASIC compiler where you can move a bus sprite forward and backward. That's literally all there is. For some unexplainable reason it got released as a "game" in Venezuela for the Sega Genesis, in 2004 (7 years after the Sega Genesis stopped production). It features real bus company brands.
My guess is some pointy-haired-boss from a bus company who had never touched touched a video game in his life suddenly demanded a promotional game for their company. So someone grabbed an old demo they had, changed some sprites, and told the boss it was done. Or maybe someone had a poorly written contract for a promotional game and got that.
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@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
and blows everyone else out of the water
Yeah I suppose that's why they had a ONE MILLION DOLLAR prize pool for their 2016 tournament, whereas the loser company in the previous paragraph could only afford a $20,770,460 prize pool.
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@masonwheeler said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@djls45 said in terrible video games that should never be made:
But really, wouldn't the second one have jumped the shark, purely on the naming of the series? I mean really, if it's "Final", then there shouldn't be any further installments, because that was the last one, right? And now there's 15 of them?‽!
There's an interesting story behind the name. The guys who created it had tried several other video games first, and all of them flopped. So they decided to go and do one last attempt, just for the pure love of it. They went all out, designing the most awesome thing they could come up with on their limited resources... their final fantasy.
Not according to Wikipedia. They wanted the initials FF, because they thought that was cool, and they couldn't use Fighting Fantasy, which would have matched the gameplay, because there was already an RPG tabletop game called that. "Final" apparently sounds cool to Japanese ears (the romaji is Fainaru Fantajī), so that's the word they used. Basically, the Rule of Cool in effect in real life.
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@atazhaia said in terrible video games that should never be made:
A friend who has played a lot of MOBA tells me to stay the fuck away from Dota2, even though he played it heavily for a period. Rampant elitism in the playerbase makes it an incredibly toxic game to play combined with a steep learning curve, so he said that even if I would want to play Dota2 I should start with HotS, get good at that, and then move over.
Although atm LoL is heavily dominating that genre. I've never played it, but I come into contact with it a lot due to my work.
I could fill several threads with everything I hate about MOBAs, but his advice is accurate. To master DotA2 or LoL, you have to store a vast amount of information in your head all at once (e.g. which items out of a hundred or so you're aiming to get late game and what each of them do, the items you need to buy now to build those other items and their respective prices, where your enemies are at any given point in time so that you can "call misses", which skill build you're going to use as you level up, whether or not your team has wards placed in strategic locations, etc.). And if you manage to manage all that basic information, then you still need to have an idea of what you're supposed to be doing at any given time (which the game does not always make clear) and controlling your character so that you're leveling up and not dying.
It's like trying to play Counter-Strike while taking a multiple choice quiz and solving a calculus problem. And what value exactly does all that complexity add?
The HoTS community is the least toxic of the three, there are no items so players only have to make a relatively simple decision between 2-4 options every 3 levels, the game makes it very clear what players are supposed to be doing at any point in time (e.g. if the Raven Lord drops a tribute, you go there right now and try to claim it), and perhaps best of all, if you make a critical blunder, you only have to suffer for it for a 10-20 minute game instead of upwards of an hour.
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@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
[Lots of stuff new players have to learn to play LoL or DotA2]
That's what the tutorial and bot games are for. I leveled up to 20 or so in LoL from just bot games. I'm nowhere near a professional player, but I don't think I'm absolutely terrible, since I do have a working knowledge of the champions and items.
My favorite class is Marksman, and my favorite champion is that little terror of evil incarnate, Teemo.
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@groaner I just hate that MOBAs have replaced FPSs as the most popular genre now that I can finally aim.
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@anonymous234 said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I'm struggling to think of actual video games that were based on terrible concepts
No such thing.
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@anonymous234 said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner I just hate that MOBAs have replaced FPSs as the most popular genre now that I can finally aim.
Part of that problem is that there are so few good FPSes these days. There are still good shooters if you know where to look, though.
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@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
and blows everyone else out of the water
Yeah I suppose that's why they had a ONE MILLION DOLLAR prize pool for their 2016 tournament, whereas the loser company in the previous paragraph could only afford a $20,770,460 prize pool.
I don't think that applies when talking about the success of billionaire companies making video game tournaments with other people's money.
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@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
and blows everyone else out of the water
Yeah I suppose that's why they had a ONE MILLION DOLLAR prize pool for their 2016 tournament, whereas the loser company in the previous paragraph could only afford a $20,770,460 prize pool.
I don't think that applies when talking about the success of billionaire companies making video game tournaments with other people's money.
Can you then clarify your argument? I see a few possible interpretations:
- DoTA2 is better than HoTS because they can raise a larger prize pool (this could be either an ad crumenam, ad populum, or a combination of the two)
- DoTA2 is better than HoTS because more people play it and a larger playerbase can raise more money for tournaments (ad populum)
- DoTA2 is better than HoTS because the company backing it appears to care more about their players by having a larger prize pool than the competition (perhaps, but this says nothing about the virtues of the game itself. Maybe Blizzard has bigger cash cows to milk, and Valve being so busy not making Half-Life 3 has forced them to reevaluate their priorities).
Many of the best games I've ever played have been indie titles, or MMOs by a small developer with a small, enthusiastic community, so arguments involving money or popularity aren't going to be very convincing.
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@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
DoTA2 is better than HoTS because more people play it and a larger playerbase can raise more money for tournaments (ad populum)
Please do tell me what measure there is for finding out which game is successful other than how popular it is.
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@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@groaner said in terrible video games that should never be made:
DoTA2 is better than HoTS because more people play it and a larger playerbase can raise more money for tournaments (ad populum)
Please do tell me what measure there is for finding out which game is successful other than how popular it is.
We're talking about "better," not "more successful." "More successful" is the CFO's measure of virtue. If we universally applied those rules, we wouldn't remember Mozart.
A very simple measure is the test of time. Does the game age well? Does it still have a community five or ten years later? Do people have fond memories of the game years after playing it?
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@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Please do tell me what measure there is for finding out which game is successful other than how popular it is.
Spec Ops: The Line was extremely successful at evoking an emotional response. It was not very popular.
I think you're conflating "successful" with "financially successful".
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@blakeyrat said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Please do tell me what measure there is for finding out which game is successful other than how popular it is.
Spec Ops: The Line was extremely successful at evoking an emotional response. It was not very popular.
I think you're conflating "successful" with "financially successful".
Sonic 2006 is successful at making people vomit from motion sickness. Is it a successful game?
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@zecc said in terrible video games that should never be made:
players must complete that journey in real time.
So.... Euro Truck Simulator, but before its time?
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@tsaukpaetra said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@masonwheeler said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Major popcultural osmosis fail
.... I hate you all.
Here, looks like you may be ready:
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@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Sonic 2006 is successful at making people vomit from motion sickness. Is it a successful game?
Possibly. Since "success" or "failure" can only be judged against a specific goal, it's possible Sega's goal was "make people vomit" in which case Sonic '06 would be a successful game.
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This seems like an appropriate thread.
I mean, to each their own, but... yeah no.
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@zecc I opened Steam on my PC last night and then got distracted and left it there. A few minutes later my wife saw the screen and asked WTF I was doing
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@zecc said in terrible video games that should never be made:
@anonymous234 I Only skimmed through the video, but I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on.
But it reminded me of Desert Bus:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LtiHla1dNg
The drive from Tucson, Arizona, to Las Vegas, Nevada, takes approximately eight hours when travelling in a vehicle whose top speed is forty-five miles per hour. In Desert Bus, an unreleased video game from 1995 conceived by the American illusionists and entertainers Penn Jillette and Teller, players must complete that journey in real time.
Finishing a single leg of the trip requires considerable stamina and concentration in the face of arch boredom: the vehicle constantly lists to the right, so players cannot take their hands off the virtual wheel; swerving from the road will cause the bus’s engine to stall, forcing the player to be towed back to the beginning. The game cannot be paused. The bus carries no virtual passengers to add human interest, and there is no traffic to negotiate.The only scenery is the odd sand-pocked rock or road sign. Players earn a single point for each eight-hour trip completed between the two cities, making a Desert Bus high score perhaps the most costly in gaming.
Ugh. They couldn't even be arsed to make the odometer work properly? (All of the numbers should scroll when they change, not just the 0.1 mile digit.)
Also, night was really short. I mean, really, 4 hours from the beginning of dusk to the beginning of dawn? What planet is that supposed to be "reality" on? Even on the longest day of the year, night lasts for around 9 1/2 hours in Arizona/Nevada.
edit: wait a minute, why does it say :00 road time and 00000000 points at the beginning of the video, and 24:00 road time and 0000003 points at the end, when it's a single 8-hour playthrough?
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@anotherusername said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Ugh. They couldn't even be arsed to make the odometer work properly? (All of the numbers should scroll when they change, not just the 0.1 mile digit.)
Literally unplayable.
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@zecc The one where you were a cave-woman carrying a club and you dated pigeons was at least weird.
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Seeing as how this topic was already bumped...
@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I know of multiple games this could be describing already, but Murdered: Soul Suspect (which Blakey named) isn't one of them. Although, in fairness I never finished that game and both of the other games I've played with this plot didn't reveal it until the end.
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@powerlord said in terrible video games that should never be made:
Seeing as how this topic was already bumped...
@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
I know of multiple games this could be describing already, but Murdered: Soul Suspect (which Blakey named) isn't one of them. Although, in fairness I never finished that game and both of the other games I've played with this plot didn't reveal it until the end.
I meant it in more of a "who stole the cookies from the cookie jar" thing except it would have more severe crimes like murder and tax evasion.
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@ben_lubar said in terrible video games that should never be made:
who stole the cookies from the cookie jar
The man in the middle?