The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
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Edit: nice iframely...
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@Tsaukpaetra https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/11860/the-nerdy-jokes-thread-bonus-original-title-mode/1200
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra https://what.thedailywtf.com/topic/11860/the-nerdy-jokes-thread-bonus-original-title-mode/1200
I felt it was bad enough to go here instead. No I didn't try to search, in in mobile.
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A friend of mine did their own sex change operation.
I didn't think they could pull it off.
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Was waiting for a colleague at the airport. She texted, "Just walked off the jetway."
I answered, "You should be more careful and watch where you're going."
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@Mikael_Svahnberg I don't get it...
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@Karla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
He's a superjerk!
Am I the only one who hears Rick James sing this?
Better yet, it could be the next Weird Al hit.
It's superjerky...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Mikael_Svahnberg I don't get it...
It's a fish joke and a bad word-pun about knowing your place. How could I not post it?
Besides, in a few years I would need to make the joke about "this fish knows it's Pangasius", and that's even worse.
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@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Mikael_Svahnberg I don't get it...
It's a fish joke and a bad word-pun about knowing your place. How could I not post it?
Besides, in a few years I would need to make the joke about "this fish knows it's Pangasius", and that's even worse.
... I must be having processing issues. I'll try again later.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Mikael_Svahnberg I don't get it...
I've haddock enough of people not getting fish jokes in this plaice.
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@loopback0 I swear to cod I won't be happy if I have to give up my Princess Whoosh title...
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@loopback0 said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
haddock
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
I swear to cod I won't be happy if I have to give up my Princess Whoosh title...
If you like your Princess Whoosh title, you can keep your Princess Whoosh title!
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@antiquarian said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
I swear to cod I won't be happy if I have to give up my Princess Whoosh title...
If you like your Princess Whoosh title, you can keep your Princess Whoosh title!
Especially because I'm aiming for the Prince Whoosh title (wait, when did we get titles? Did we run out of Badgers?)
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
I'm aiming for the Prince Whoosh title
Hey, woah, moving a bit fast there, aren't ya cowboy? ;)
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
when did we get titles?
I gave myself one :P
It's the 'Full Name' on my profile.@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Did we run out of Badgers?
They all got off the train at the same station Discourse did. Turns out they're allergic to NodeJS.
Apart from this guy:
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@RaceProUK said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
I'm aiming for the Prince Whoosh title
Hey, woah, moving a bit fast there, aren't ya cowboy? ;)
I'm practicing for the real world. I've decided that I'm subconsciously terrified of interacting with people physically, and "girding up my lions" practicing online.
IRL I'd be rather slow actually, I think. But I hear the extended experience can be more fun!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
girding up my lions
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@loopback0 said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
girding up my lions
thabks, autocorrect.
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@Lorne-Kates said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Knock knock
Who is there?
Anticipation
Anticipation who?Anticipating the punchline to this joke.
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Where do you find a nosey pepper?
Jall-up-en-yo business
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@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
put
de cartDescartes before de horseAt least, that's how variants of that joke usually go.
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@Scarlet_Manuka said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
put
de cartDescartes before de horseAt least, that's how variants of that joke usually go.
???
"Descartes" is pronounced reasonably close to "de cart".
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@djls45 That's what makes "putting Descartes before the horse" work as a phrase. It doesn't mean you should write it as "de cart".
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@Scarlet_Manuka But if you write "Descartes" in a text medium, you're essentially explaining the joke as you tell it. It reduces the humor of the joke from a refined pun to a simple groaner.
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@djls45 We may have to disagree on this. In my view, writing it as "de cart" makes it look as if you heard the joke from someone else and didn't really understand what it was supposed to be.
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Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stableHeidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the tableDavid Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Freidrich HegelAnd Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as SchlegelThere's nothing Nietzche couldn't teach ya
'Bout the raising of the wrist
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissedJohn Stuart Mill, of his own free will
On half a pint of shandy was particularly illPlato, they say, could stick it away
Half a crate of whiskey every dayAristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle
Hobbes was fond of his dramAnd René Descartes was a drunken fart
I drink, therefore I amYes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed
A lovely little thinker
But a bugger when he's pissed
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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
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@boomzilla said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Where do you find a nosey pepper?
Jall-up-en-yo businessWhat's the worst kind to cheese?
NA CHO CHEESE!/details>
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I'm surprised the browser/NodeBB didn't barf on that
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This post is deleted!
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This post is deleted!
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@accalia No, that's the answer to "what do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?"
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@accalia No, that's the answer to "what do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?"
maybe if i wanted to telegraph the joke.
the answer is limberger cheese obviously.
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Regional variations in pronunciation.
Like how southerners put extra R sounds in certain words that the northerners don't. Grass/Grarss, Newcastle/Newcarstle, Bath/Barth.
New Englanders also put R's in strange places. "I got an idear, let's go get some beeah!" They have to do something with the R's they take out.
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Like how southerners put extra R sounds in certain words that the northerners don't. Grass/Grarss, Newcastle/Newcarstle, Bath/Barth.
My mother always pronounced the R in Washington.
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@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Like how southerners put extra R sounds in certain words that the northerners don't. Grass/Grarss, Newcastle/Newcarstle, Bath/Barth.
My mother always pronounced the R in Washington.
Warshington?
Washintarn?
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Like how southerners put extra R sounds in certain words that the northerners don't. Grass/Grarss, Newcastle/Newcarstle, Bath/Barth.
My mother always pronounced the R in Washington.
Warshington?
Washintarn?
Washingthong?
No, wait...
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@Onyx said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Like how southerners put extra R sounds in certain words that the northerners don't. Grass/Grarss, Newcastle/Newcarstle, Bath/Barth.
My mother always pronounced the R in Washington.
Warshington?
Washintarn?
Washingthong?
No, wait...
(http://metro.co.uk/2013/12/19/puppy-with-a-pants-fetish-stray-dog-cant-stop-eating-womens-underwear-4237330/ for anyone interested in the story.)
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@accalia said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@accalia No, that's the answer to "what do you call cheese that belongs to someone else?"
maybe if i wanted to telegraph the joke.
the answer is limberger cheese obviously.Which cheese would you use to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone.
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@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
My mother always pronounced the R in Washington.
I don't want to hear any more about the “R”s in Washington.
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This post is deleted!
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@dkf said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
the “R”s in Washington
You can't stop us talking about Donald Trump! :P
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Which cheese would you use to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone.That was not a gouda joke.
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@Zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Which cheese would you use to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone.That was not a gouda joke.
I brie fly considered joining this pun wagon
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Which cheese would you use to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone.That was not a gouda joke.
I brie fly considered joining this pun wagon
That hurts, you're a muenster.
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@Zecc said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
Which cheese would you use to hide a small horse?
Mascarpone.That was not a gouda joke.
I brie fly considered joining this pun wagon
You should, we need help, good puns are becoming an edamered species.
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@PJH said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
@da-Doctah said in The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨:
My mother always pronounced the R in Washington.
Warshington?
More like "Worshington", as in "wor won ton soup". I've heard a few people say "Warshington", but that version is pretty rare.