New IoT idea
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One of my coworkers has a water bottle. The cap has a strange opening in it that, at first glance, looks like a USB port. It isn't, of course, but this makes me think.
Has anyone created a IoT water bottle yet? And if not, what would one be like?
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@masonwheeler said in New IoT idea:
One of my coworkers has a water bottle. The cap has a strange opening in it that, at first glance, looks like a USB port. It isn't, of course, but this makes me think.
Has anyone created a IoT water bottle yet? And if not, what would one be like?
Well, obviously it needs to monitor the fill level and expiry date of the water (from proprietary refill packs).
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@timebandit said in New IoT idea:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/582920317/hidrateme-smart-water-bottle
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@pleegwat And it needs Wi-Fi or LTE, so it can upload usage statistics to WaterCloudTM, which must have absolutely no security controls. Oh, and your profile/stats will be sold to third parties, with no opt-out.
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@accalia said in New IoT idea:
We obviously need smartphones because people are so dumb, they don't know when they need to drink
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@timebandit said in New IoT idea:
@accalia said in New IoT idea:
We obviously need smartphones because people are so dumb, they don't know when they need to drink
How else are you going to measure your hydration levels? Drinking when you feel thirsty is so 2016
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Q: Am I thirsty?
Yes: Have a drink.
No: Don't have a drink.If you need technology to help you with that, then I pray you refrain from passing your genes to the next generation.
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@raceprouk "Siri, am I thirsty?"
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And the "most pretentious product name this decade" award goes to...
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@raceprouk said in New IoT idea:
Q: Am I thirsty?
Yes: Have a drink.
No: Don't have a drink.FILE_NOT_FOUND: Whiskey time
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@blek Oh my god that site is fucking hilarious.
Fitness awards: Womens' Health - "Tells you the exact amount of H2O."
...what?
Fitness awards: Men's Health - "The best smart water bottle."
That's like saying "the best turd in the sewage truck"...
PRYME is your personal hydration metric based on unique and dynamic factors: (...) Height (...) Biological Sex
PRYME IS WHEN YOU'RE MENTALLY SHARP
Yeah, nothing says mental acumen like having to spend a hundred dollars on a water bottle that reminds you to drink.
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@raceprouk said in New IoT idea:
Q: Am I thirsty?
Yes: Have a drink.
No: Don't have a drink.Um, actually, you're supposed to drink before you get thirsty.
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@blek said in New IoT idea:
unique and dynamic factors: (...) Height (...) Biological Sex
Not just dynamic, but unique too. Ever met someone with the same biological sex? No you didn't, it's unique.
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@boomzilla said in New IoT idea:
@raceprouk said in New IoT idea:
Q: Am I thirsty?
Yes: Have a drink.
No: Don't have a drink.Um, actually, you're supposed to drink before you get thirsty.
Isn't that like eating before you're hungry?
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@hungrier said in New IoT idea:
@blek said in New IoT idea:
unique and dynamic factors: (...) Height (...) Biological Sex
Not just dynamic, but unique too. Ever met someone with the same biological sex? No you didn't, it's unique.
TIL there are 7.5 billion biological sexes. Give or take.
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@masonwheeler Pretty sure Retsupurae did one in their Kickstarter Nonstarter series but I can't find it now so maybe it was taken down.
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@timebandit said in New IoT idea:
We obviously need smartphones because people are so dumb, they don't know when they need to drink
True story: I don't have a working "thirst" mechanic. By the time I actually feel thirsty, I'm already far too dehydrated. I have to force myself to drink enough each day.
(I buy 8-packs of Powerade and drink at least 2 a day. Easy to track that way.)
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@blek said in New IoT idea:
And the "most pretentious product name this decade" award goes to...
Wow.
“Pryme can better help you stay at your optimal hydration.”
-- TechCrunchif thirsty: drink() elif has_to_pee or peed_recently: dont_drink() elif drank_recently: dont_drink() else: drink()
That'll help you stay at your optimum hydration too, without having to buy an expensive water bottle.
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@blakeyrat Yeah, some people are like that, but your solution seems so much better than a hundred dollar bottle called PRYME VESSYL that you have to charge.
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@blek Yeah but see Powerade costs like $5 for a pack of 8, so it'd break even in only, uh, like 3 months? I guess?
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@blek can't you just imagine the people collapsing from thirst because their water bottle died?
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@blakeyrat said in New IoT idea:
Yeah but see Powerade costs like $5 for a pack of 8
What's stopping you from drinking bottles of water instead ?
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@blakeyrat Does Pryme Vessyl come with free lifetime Powerade supply or something? It's possible I just missed that on the site, I don't want to go back and check because I'm afraid I'll have an aneurysm.
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@timebandit said in New IoT idea:
What's stopping you from drinking bottles of water instead ?
Nothing? Who said something was? Try replying only to the words I type, and not the insane ones floating around inside your brain.
I like Powerade because:
- Buying water is a waste of money when you live in an area that already has good municipal water (yes, I know Powerade is like 99% water, shut up)
- If I drink Powerade, I can just glance at the number of bottles in the fridge to know if I've drunk my two today or not. If I drank water, I'd reuse the bottles and have to rely on my puny human memory.
- Plain water tastes gross
@blek said in New IoT idea:
Does Pryme Vessyl come with free lifetime Powerade supply or something?
If it did I might buy it.
No, but it solves problem 2 above, presumably: it'd tell me if I've drunk my quota or not today with the little bar graph on the side. Still stupid and a waste of money.
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@blakeyrat You can solve problem 1 and 2 by filling two glasses of water every morning using your municipal water and putting those in the fridge
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@timebandit Ok? Thanks for the advice I guess?
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@accalia said in New IoT idea:
Missing the Fitbit integration - as far as FB knows, I've never drunk anything!
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You can let out your secret hatred of plain water. This is a safe space.
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@izzion said in New IoT idea:
You can let out your secret hatred of plain water.
Water taste great !
At least, when you add caffeine, sugar and cream to it
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@homobalkanus said in New IoT idea:
@blek can't you just imagine the people collapsing from thirst because their water bottle died?
I see a lawyer drooling...
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@dcon said in New IoT idea:
@homobalkanus said in New IoT idea:
@blek can't you just imagine the people collapsing from thirst because their water bottle died?
I see a lawyer drooling...
Is he drinking enough?
Maybe he should buy one of our bottles.
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@maciejasjmj said in New IoT idea:
@blek said in New IoT idea:
PRYME VESSYL
Arr, here be a pryme vessyl!
Come back in about a month.
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@pleegwat said in New IoT idea:
Well, obviously it needs to monitor the fill level and expiry date of the water (from proprietary refill packs).
For your convenience, there are two AMAZING models of Refill Packs!
The Advanced Ultra Artisan Pack: comes with 100% pure, organic dehydrated mineral water. Rehydrate this space aged packet based on NASA tech, and then hydrate!
The Ultra Fresh Signature Tibetan Clean Drinking Pack: pure fresh water that one flowed through the mountains of Tibet, where monks have been practicing lifestyles for thousands of years that are the basis for today's Clean Living Movements. Suspended for perfect freshness in sponges sourced from five of the world's finest, cleanest oceans. Requires use of the Ultra Extractor Cloud Press, please read terms of service here...
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@blek said in New IoT idea:
@blek Oh my god that site is fucking hilarious.
Fitness awards: Womens' Health - "Tells you the exact amount of H2O."
...what?
I don't feel like looking at the site, but is that non subscript 2 a paste error, or do they actually not know how chemistry works?
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@raceprouk said in New IoT idea:
there are 7.5 billion biological sexes. Give or take
I've had 7.5 billion biological sexes.
And I give AND take!
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@lorne-kates said in New IoT idea:
@blek said in New IoT idea:
@blek Oh my god that site is fucking hilarious.
Fitness awards: Womens' Health - "Tells you the exact amount of H2O."
...what?
I don't feel like looking at the site, but is that non subscript 2 a paste error, or do they actually not know how chemistry works?
Par for the course in mainstream media. They probably don't know how to enter ₂ in their word processor, so use a 2, same thing isn't it?
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@boomzilla said in New IoT idea:
@maciejasjmj said in New IoT idea:
@blek said in New IoT idea:
PRYME VESSYL
Arr, here be a pryme vessyl!
Come back in about a month.
Am I no longer welcome here?
Filed under: if bad jokes were a bannable offense this forum would be very quiet
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@maciejasjmj said in New IoT idea:
Am I no longer welcome here?
Until you get banned, you can't complain.
After you get banned, you can't complain to us
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@masonwheeler said in New IoT idea:
if thirsty: drink() elif has_to_pee or peed_recently: dont_drink() elif drank_recently: dont_drink() else: drink()
Excellent idea. The IoT water bottle helps determine the
drank_recently
value. So in addition to the bottle, we can sell IoT-things that determinethirsty
,has_to_pee
andpeed_recently
. That's four separate products. We'll be rich.
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@masonwheeler said in New IoT idea:
@blek said in New IoT idea:
And the "most pretentious product name this decade" award goes to...
Wow.
“Pryme can better help you stay at your optimal hydration.”
-- TechCrunchif thirsty: drink() elif has_to_pee or peed_recently: dont_drink() elif drank_recently: dont_drink() else: drink()
That'll help you stay at your optimum hydration too, without having to buy an expensive water bottle.
This is so obviously flawed with leaks!!! First check for has_to_pee or you may explode. In fact that if should take precedence over anything else, even breathing should be checked next.
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@dse said in New IoT idea:
@masonwheeler said in New IoT idea:
@blek said in New IoT idea:
And the "most pretentious product name this decade" award goes to...
Wow.
“Pryme can better help you stay at your optimal hydration.”
-- TechCrunchif thirsty: drink() elif has_to_pee or peed_recently: dont_drink() elif drank_recently: dont_drink() else: drink()
That'll help you stay at your optimum hydration too, without having to buy an expensive water bottle.
This is so obviously flawed with leaks!!! First check for has_to_pee or you may explode. In fact that if should take precedence over anything else, even breathing should be checked next.
I think we should train a neural network for this problem.
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@pleegwat I call it the DeepPeeD
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@homobalkanus said in New IoT idea:
@timebandit said in New IoT idea:
@accalia said in New IoT idea:
We obviously need smartphones because people are so dumb, they don't know when they need to drink
How else are you going to measure your hydration levels? Drinking when you feel thirsty is so 2016
There has been this weird meme for a few years that hydration is somehow something that takes effort. I always wonder where it came from.
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@cvi said in New IoT idea:
Excellent idea. The IoT water bottle helps determine the drank_recently value. So in addition to the bottle, we can sell IoT-things that determine thirsty, has_to_pee and peed_recently. That's four separate products. We'll be rich.
Great idea. I wonder if you could implant those right inside your body.
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@anonymous234 said in New IoT idea:
@homobalkanus said in New IoT idea:
@timebandit said in New IoT idea:
@accalia said in New IoT idea:
We obviously need smartphones because people are so dumb, they don't know when they need to drink
How else are you going to measure your hydration levels? Drinking when you feel thirsty is so 2016
There has been this weird meme for a few years that hydration is somehow something that takes effort. I always wonder where it came from.
I think a lot of it came from the BS rule of thumb to drink 8 glasses of water per day.
My wife is convinced that one's pee must be clear at all times. Any tint of yellow are signs of dehydration. My wife drinks and pees a lot
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@the_quiet_one said in New IoT idea:
My wife drinks and pees a lot
me too, though too much of the former means I don't remember doing the latter
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@the_quiet_one said in New IoT idea:
I think a lot of it came from the BS rule of thumb to drink 8 glasses of water per day.
I believe the advice now is 'Drink as much as you need to survive'.
@the_quiet_one said in New IoT idea:
My wife is convinced that one's pee must be clear at all times. Any tint of yellow are signs of dehydration.
Any tint of yellow is a sign that your kidneys are doing their job and filtering shit out your blood.