The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably)
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Carnage said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Doctors should prescribe fucking instead of rehab.
I hear it's also good at chemical balancing, or something.
Yeah, the last few days I've been asking my girlfriend is she wants a refill, rather than if she wants sex.
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@Carnage said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
My legs are almost back to their pre SCI days of muscles. And the thing that made it happen wasn't weight training or rehab, but rather fucking for an hour or two every day for a month or two.
Doctors should prescribe fucking instead of rehab.That's what Schwarzenegger advocated. Well, if you extend a tangentially related anecdote to advocacy. (checks thread)
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@Carnage said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Doctors should prescribe fucking instead of rehab.
Careful. We don't want @Tsaukpaetra to forge prescriptions and overdose on it.
(Not to mention, if doctors could prescribe it, it would cost a fortune in the USA.)
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@Zerosquare said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Carnage said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Doctors should prescribe fucking instead of rehab.
Careful. We don't want @Tsaukpaetra to forge prescriptions and overdose on it.
(Not to mention, if doctors could prescribe it, it would cost a fortune in the USA.)
Rep cycle of 5-10 minutes followed by 25 minutes of rest, at least six reps per day.
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@Zerosquare said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Carnage said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Doctors should prescribe fucking instead of rehab.
Careful. We don't want @Tsaukpaetra to forge prescriptions and overdose on it.
(Not to mention, if doctors could prescribe it, it would cost a fortune in the USA.)
It already costs a fortune unless you're careful.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
status: I've been wondering why there was an inexplicable hole in my back.
Perhaps it's time for a new mattress?
status: the support structure of my mattress is getting too damaged from my fat ass that it's damaging myself. The floor is starting to look attractive...
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@error said in Quotes Out of Context:
@Tsaukpaetra said in Quotes Out of Context:
The real reason you're circumcised
I'm what?
checks
Phew. Fake news.
See, my problem is that I can't put a boolean value on my own status. It doesn't take the appearance of the common examples of either model, so I have to wonder WTF happened...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
The floor is starting to look attractive...
Floor has been avoided. Appropriated an unused mattress from a dark corner, and after several hours of sweating in sweltering heat (thank you, brick walls that are in no way insulated), I have emplaced it appropriately after requisite deoderizing and cleaning.
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https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/519470967240523786/881995474540826694/image0.jpg
Honestly I would have thought more problems would have been caused by this...
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@Tsaukpaetra It's pretty inert in the body, not entirely unlike drinking a bottle of mineral oil, except thicker. I suppose it could potentially deposit a layer of slime that would interfere with the digestive system absorbing nutrients.
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@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
it could potentially deposit
a layer of slime that would interfere with the digestive system absorbing nutrients.a space-age protective shield that keeps you from gaining weight.Monetized that for you.
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Status: Apparently it's time to schedule a colonoscopy?
The fuck?
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@Tsaukpaetra yep, if you count robot snakes.
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@Gribnit said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra yep, if you count robot snakes.
I could use a robot snake right about now...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Status: Apparently it's time to schedule a colonoscopy?
Based on my (limited) experience, the colonoscopy itself is nothing. Sedated. Supposedly, you're awake enough to respond to instructions like "roll on your side", but you're not awake enough to remember anything when you come out of the sedative. I remember, "We're going to give you the sedative now," and then I remember sitting on the gurney fully dressed. Nothing in between, except for about a minute in the middle of the procedure. I was on my side, looking at the TV screen, as they were doing stuff to my insides. I remember thinking, "I wonder which end this is" (I was also having an upper GI endoscopy at the same time), until I noticed a slight, gentle tugging as they manipulated the endoscope that told me which opening it was inserted in. (My current gastroenterologist has informed me that had it been the upper GI, I wouldn't have been able to see the screen; I'd have been flat on my back looking at the ceiling.) During the minute or so I remember being awake, there was no pain or other unpleasant sensation. I was just nerdily curious about what they were doing.
The prep, OTOH, is unpleasant. Basically, you have to drink enough potent laxative to give yourself diarrhea until there's nothing left in your digestive system and the laxative comes out the other end clear. There are two such laxatives that I'm aware of.
One is an aqueous solution of polyethylene glycol, PEG-3350. Your bowel normally absorbs water from the undigested food residue, causing it to dry (partially) and compact into normal, semi-solid feces. PEG-3350 retains the water in the residue, so it comes out of the bowel in the same liquid state it started in. After the first couple of doses, it pretty much goes in one end and out the other within a few minutes of drinking it, flushing the remaining food residue with it. Because it's so fast-acting, you can get up and do stuff between doses; you don't have to spend the entire time sitting on the toilet, and when you drink the last dose, it comes out and you're just done. The most unpleasant parts of the experience are the consistency of the stuff you have to drink, which is somewhat viscous and slimy, and the fact that you have to drink 4 liters of it, 250 ml at a time. 250 ml (about 16 fl oz) is a lot to chug in one go.
The other one that I know of is magnesium citrate solution. It's not as unpleasant to drink as PEG-3350, but the effects of drinking it are more unpleasant. It works similarly to PEG-3350, but it's slower to start working and slower to stop working. It's more like non-self-induced diarrhea, in that you're never quite sure when you may have to sprint for the toilet if you get up, so you don't. You basically spend the entire night before your procedure sitting on the toilet, not sleeping at all. And you may not be quite done pooping by the time you need to leave to get the procedure done. At least that was my experience when I had to have it for surgery (not a colonoscopy) 18 years ago. I may get another try at the experience in a few weeks; the stuff my current gastroenterologist prescribed for my upcoming colonoscopy is a brand name I don't remember, but I think it had "cit" in the name, which makes it sound more like magnesium citrate than polyethylene glycol.
After the procedure, you can't drive, because of the sedative, and you should take the rest of the day off work. You need a responsible adult to stay with you the rest of the day, and if they remove any polyps, you shouldn't do any strenuous physical exertion for, IIRC, about a week to heal and not cause any bleeding. Other than that, there was no discomfort or lingering effects.
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@HardwareGeek That sedative sounds like the perfect date-rape drug. You get to take your "responsible adult" helper in to observe the operation, right?
I'd want someone I can trust to observe the whole procedure if I'm going to be in that state...
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@acrow said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
You get to take your "responsible adult" helper in to observe the operation, right?
It's definitely not normal procedure, but it never occurred to me to ask. It's basically an operating room, so I wouldn't be at all surprised if they said no. At the very least, the observer would have to gown and mask. And stay the heck out of the way.
I wouldn't be two worried, though. It's not just the two of you in there. At the least, there's the gastroenterologist, anesthesiologist, and probably at least one nurse. That would make it significantly more difficult to get away with anything inappropriate.
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@HardwareGeek Unless they're all in on the plot. There was this comic that has since fallen off the internet, but... imagine how much a doctor could save on malpractice insurance if they had, say, a photo of the patient in a compromising position with a dead hooker. Show the complainer the photo and ask if they still wish to go forward with their complaint...
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@acrow said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Unless they're all in on the plot.
Yes, it's not impossible. But the more people involved, the more difficult it is.
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@HardwareGeek There's a sweet spot in the headcount, around 2-3. You need need someone to help in positioning and later help keep watch. One to handle the camera. Plus a nurse to play the part of the hooker.
</joke>More seriously though, any kind of recurring irregularity in a facility-type setting needs at least a small group of people who can cover for each other. Then again, people who get caught years later after the complaints slowly pile up tend to be organized like that. But that's the groups who eventually do get caught. Maybe lone wolves have a more successful criminal career. And larger teams drift into politics and never have to face consequences ever again, or something...
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The "things you'd rather not know" thread is...
...huh...
...wait. Never mind.
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@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Based on my (limited) experience, the colonoscopy itself is nothing
Yeah, I've done it before, which is probably why they're mailing about it.
Gotta get that Sweet sweet money...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Yeah, I've done it before,
I didn't think you were enough for that. Usually, the recommendation is starting at age 45 (used to be 50).
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@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Based on my (limited) experience, the colonoscopy itself is nothing. Sedated. Supposedly, you're awake enough to respond to instructions like "roll on your side", but you're not awake enough to remember anything when you come out of the sedative.
I remember during my first one, they asked "how are you feeling". I said it feels a little funny. Then I was looking around in recovery. I was hoping on watching the procedure on the video monitor... Next time if I'm awake when the ask, I'll just say "I feel fine!". (The 2nd time I was out before it started)
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@acrow said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Plus a nurse to play the part of the hooker.
Always, always this.
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@dcon said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
I was hoping on watching the procedure on the video monitor.
I wasn't hoping for or expecting it, but it was interesting during the minute or so I remember being awake.
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@HardwareGeek except, of course, in the political sphere.
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@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Yeah, I've done it before,
I didn't think you were enough for that. Usually, the recommendation is starting at age 45 (used to be 50).
I don't remember why they wanted to do that the first time either. Maybe the guy just liked looked looking at anuses?
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And colonoscopy is done for another 5 years.
I was kinda hoping to get to watch some of it, but I mentioned that had happened last time, and they made sure it didn't this time.
Prep was ... unpleasant. I spoke to a nurse a few days ago who gave me prep instructions verbally. She was supposed to email them to me, too, but I never received them; I had to rely on my CRS memory. The instructions I was given included specifically not following the package directions, so I didn't read them. (The package only has directions for a "split dose" — one dose the night before, and one the morning of the procedure. However, because my procedure was scheduled for the morning, there was no time to do the morning dose, and I needed to do both the day before, one in the afternoon, and one at night.
And I did it wrong. Everything was fine, except I didn't remember I was supposed to be on clear liquids only the day before. I ate breakfast and early lunch before starting the prep.
I called this morning, because I couldn't remember what time I needed to arrive, and also because I wasn't sure I'd done the prep correctly. The nurse said, based on my description of what I had eaten and the condition of the ... outflow, they could probably do the procedure anyway if I gave myself an enema before going in. That delayed things about a half-hour after I should have arrived, but they were able to do the procedure with no issues, and I shouldn't need to do it again for 5 years.
Also, worst insurance company in the country effed things up, and I may need to pay for the whole thing out-of-pocket, but my PCP is working on straightening things out. Apparently, there was a failure to communicate between them and the insurance company (probably on the insurance company's end), and the insurance company claims I didn't have a valid referral to the gastroenterologist before the initial office visit three weeks ago, and denied benefits for that. Given that, I wouldn't be surprised if they claim there was no valid referral for this, either. , insurance company.
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Status: shhhhiiiiiiiit......
That was nearly enough to get a flush cycle!
WTH is going on....?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Status: shhhhiiiiiiiit......
That was nearly enough to get a flush cycle!
WTH is going on....?
You are giving birth to your new form. I for one would like to welcome our Golgothim overlords, and remind them that my general and cybernetic engineering skills can be of value in converting others.
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@Gribnit said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
your new form
Negative.
@Gribnit said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
my general and cybernetic engineering skills can be of value in converting others.
Irrelevant. Your distinctiveness is insufficient. You will be assigned to reclamation vat 7h5mv.
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So, as I've noted elsewhere in the forum I've been in Mexico for a while. I've had most of the authentic experiences of Mexico. I've been hanging out in a poor barrio, I've had a close kidnapping experience in a narco tienda, and I've eaten and drank a lot of suspicious stuff. A lot of it from very run down roadside food stands and I've had a bunch of beers with junkies.
So, why is any of this in the oversharing thread you ask. Well, let me remove your doubts right now: I've previously also said that my stomach can take pretty much anything I throw at it, my farts just smell worse. Well... This still holds true, but god fucking damn do my shits smell exceptionally bad now. Like, worse than any shit I've smelled in my life, and I've been to San Francisco so I've had the opportunity to sample the scent of a large variety of sun baked human feces.
And the color has shifted from a deep earthy brown to fuck if I know but closer to kids shit, or the color it gets after a 7 day blackout bender. Still solid enough and dense enough to make nice thunks when it hits the bottom of bowl in the toilet.
I don't fart much though.
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@Carnage sounds like too much grease and masa, not enough meat and alcohol.
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Once again, I have shat directly backwards striking the rim of the toilet. The resulting accretion is unsightly and, needless to say, unflushed.
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Status: mother was apparently holding some of my medical records from my childhood.
Apparently yes, I did have testes inside the scrotum.
Apparently that's a thing that was checked.
Nifty?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
I did have testes
Past tense?
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@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
Past tense?
Yes, but he's much more relaxed now.
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@Tsaukpaetra Testicular control is very important in animals to be used for breeding, you know.
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@Atazhaia said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra Testicular control is very important in animals to be used for breeding, you know.
Wa-hey! Get a room, you two.
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@Gribnit I am unsure if I would be allowed to do a complete inspection and function test of his reproductive organs, would the opportunity arise.
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@Atazhaia that's totally fair and understandable.
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@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
I did have testes
Past tense?
It was true in the past. It's probably still true in the current present.
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@Atazhaia said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Gribnit I am unsure if I would be allowed to do a complete inspection and function test of his reproductive organs, would the opportunity arise.
Preauthorization has been granted.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
I did have testes
Past tense?
It was true in the past. It's probably still true in the current present.
In a terrifying turn of events, this turned out not to be the case.
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@Gribnit said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@HardwareGeek said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
I did have testes
Past tense?
It was true in the past. It's probably still true in the current present.
In a terrifying turn of events, this turned out not to be the case.
It only counts as horror if the status is undesired, right?
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status: adding "how to clean cum stains from pillow" to search history. Uh, for an anonymous internet associate, I swear!
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
status: adding "how to clean cum stains from pillow" to search history. Uh, for an anonymous internet associate, I swear!
Last I checked Google search would work from a private tab. Though I admit it's been a while.
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@PleegWat said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
status: adding "how to clean cum stains from pillow" to search history. Uh, for an anonymous internet associate, I swear!
Last I checked Google search would work from a private tab. Though I admit it's been a while.
It works in the sense that due to profiling they'll still be able to link you up with your personal profile.
IPv6 can be useful like that,,,
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The 'Nobody Overshares Worse Than This!' thread (NSFW, probably):
pillow
Reports back indicate some measure of success. It now looks more like a bleached pillow with cum stains...