The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨
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A kid comes back home very proud of himself and says:
"I missed my bus so I just ran after it the whole way home and saved myself 2 dollars."
"You fool, you could've run after a cab and save 20 dollars instead."
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A coworker has accused me of writing a bug into the code that is meant to order the entries of a collection in increasing values.
But I have done nothing of the sort.
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@Zecc said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
A coworker has accused me of writing a bug into the code that is meant to order the entries of a collection in increasing values.
But I have done nothing of the sort.
Joke refuses to collate...
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@obeselymorbid said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Marriage is solving together all the problems you wouldn't even have if you lived alone.
Marriage is 90% shouting "What?" to each other from different rooms
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@obeselymorbid said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Marriage is solving together all the problems you wouldn't even have if you lived alone.
Marriage is 90% shouting "What?" to each other from different rooms
Not for Millenials! They just text each other in the same room.
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@Tsaukpaetra I often send a text to my daughter to tell her to come downstairs. We used to bang on the wall but now she tends to have headphones on so she doesn't hear that.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
They just
textwhatsapp each other in the same room.Texting?
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@Luhmann said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
They just
textwhatsappbzorp each other in the same room.whatsapp?
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I used to hate going to family gatherings like weddings, because people would keep saying to me, βWhenβs it going to be your turn, eh?β They stopped doing that when I began to say it too, at funerals.
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Why did the cows keep returning to the hemp field?
It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back.
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@lolwhat Cows on a hemp field? The steaks have never been so high.
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@lolwhat
You're just salty that his joke was better than yours.
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@izzion Actually, no, I think the joke was well-done.
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@lolwhat But you prefer them medium-rare?
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@PleegWat That's why it's so hard to find a competent psychic: a well-done medium is truly rare!
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@masonwheeler Be careful though - there's a small medium at large.
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@PleegWat I prefer bloody.
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@lolwhat that's extremely rare.
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New from the MIL joke department:
When someone tells me to quit acting like a flamingo,
that's when I put my foot down.
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The stick was arguably one of the first steps on the path of human evolution.
The selfie stick is one of the first steps back.
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I saw a man standing on one leg at an ATM.
Confused, I asked him what he was doing.
He replied, "I'm just checking my balance".
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The Past, Present, and Future walk into a Bar . . . it was tense.
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Q: What's the font the pasta letters use in alphabet soup?
A: Times New Ramen.
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Q: What's the font the pasta letters use in alphabet soup?
A: Times New Ramen.
Objection. That's a serif font.
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@Gribnit said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Q: What's the font the pasta letters use in alphabet soup?
A: Times New Ramen.
Objection. That's a serif font.
Yes.
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@HardwareGeek I must have always had overcooked alphabet pasta :(
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@HardwareGeek Old joke: "Mine just spells OOoooooOOOOOoooo." "Those are Cheerios, you idiot."
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@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@Gribnit said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Q: What's the font the pasta letters use in alphabet soup?
A: Times New Ramen.
Objection. That's a serif font.
Yes.
Thatβs alphanumeric soup of the 7-bit ASCII variety.
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@M_Adams No, if you look closely there are some Cyrillic letters in there (κ or Π).
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@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Thatβs alphanumeric soup of the 7-bit ASCII variety.
You sure? I'm pretty sure I see some Γ in there. Although the ring is strangely oversized...
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@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@Gribnit said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
Q: What's the font the pasta letters use in alphabet soup?
A: Times New Ramen.
Objection. That's a serif font.
Yes.
The real question is, if you put enough alphabet pasta in a line, will it contain the full text of hamlet?
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Given enough monkeys? Sure.
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@M_Adams But the monkeys may eat the pasta (which they probably won't do to typewriters).
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@HardwareGeek What if the monkeys have pica?
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@HardwareGeek What if the monkeys have pica?
Or a ball gag.
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@HardwareGeek What if the monkeys have pica?
They can be guaranteed to have pica, IIF they use old school typewriters.
Pasta s/b fine...
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
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@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
They can be guaranteed to have pica, IIF they use old school typewriters.
No, they might be elite.
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@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic π΄πΉπ¨:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
IIF is a Microsoft Access SQL function, you just didn't terminate it.
Kinda when nothing is making sense (but you started