The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
IIF is a Microsoft Access SQL function, you just didn't terminate it.
Kinda when nothing is making sense (but you started
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@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
IIF is a Microsoft Access SQL function, you just didn't terminate it.
Kinda when nothing is making sense (but you started
TIL.
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I found a more secure password:
โ ๐ด ๐
๐๐
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
Was going to put this in the funny stuff thread but seems relevant here.
I'm an introvert...what's your excuse?
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@Karla said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
Was going to put this in the funny stuff thread but seems relevant here.
I'm an introvert...what's your excuse?
It's not an excuse that I'm an introvert.
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@Karla said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
Was going to put this in the funny stuff thread but seems relevant here.
I'm an introvert...what's your excuse?
That I come from a family of printers and learned to proofread at an early age. I also worked on a school newspaper for two years. Also, I am an introvert. And possibly also a bit of a jerk โ online, anyway.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
IIF is a Microsoft Access SQL function, you just didn't terminate it.
Kinda when nothing is making sense (but you started
TIL.
Of course, re-reading that, I did mis-spell that...
s/IIF/IFF/So your confusion was warranted.
Mea culpa
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The first rule of Thesaurus Club is: you don't talk, discuss, converse, speak, chat, confer, deliberate, gab, or gossip about Thesaurus Club!
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@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
IIF is a Microsoft Access SQL function, you just didn't terminate it.
Kinda when nothing is making sense (but you started
TIL.
Of course, re-reading that, I did mis-spell that...
s/IIF/IFF/So your confusion was warranted.
Mea culpaEh, kerning and abbreviation association lookups can only help so much.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
IIF is a Microsoft Access SQL function, you just didn't terminate it.
Kinda when nothing is making sense (but you started
TIL.
Of course, re-reading that, I did mis-spell that...
s/IIF/IFF/So your confusion was warranted.
Mea culpaEh, kerning and abbreviation association lookups can only help so much.
What did the letter say to its beloved?
answer
I"m kerning to see you again!
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How does a bagel look like the sun?
It raises in the yeast.
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@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
I can't wrap my head around IFF. That would just seem to be the normal meaning of if? If something isn't explicitly included in the conditional it's irrelevant.
The examples in the wiki just seem to be an abuse of language:"Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple." (equivalent to "Only if Madison will eat the fruit, it is an apple;" or "Madison will eat the fruit โ fruit is an apple")
This states that Madison will eat fruits that are apples. It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit. All that is known for certain is that she will eat any and all apples that she happens upon. That the fruit is an apple is a sufficient condition for Madison to eat the fruit."It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit", yes it does. If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
Edit: Maybe it'll make more sense after some coffee...
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@Cursorkeys said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
I can't wrap my head around IFF. That would just seem to be the normal meaning of if? If something isn't explicitly included in the conditional it's irrelevant.
The examples in the wiki just seem to be an abuse of language:"Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple." (equivalent to "Only if Madison will eat the fruit, it is an apple;" or "Madison will eat the fruit โ fruit is an apple")
This states that Madison will eat fruits that are apples. It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit. All that is known for certain is that she will eat any and all apples that she happens upon. That the fruit is an apple is a sufficient condition for Madison to eat the fruit."It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit", yes it does. If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
Edit: Maybe it'll make more sense after some coffee...
It's common in mathematics. In mathematics, "A is true if B is true" means "A is true or B is false (or both, since mathematics uses inclusive or)", while "A is true if and only if B is true" means "Either A and B are both true, or they are both false".
In normal English, the meaning of 'if' can float somewhere between mathematical 'if' and mathematical 'if and only if', but tends towards the latter.
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@Cursorkeys said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
That's not communicated by the "if", it's implicit in the context. You trust the other person to assume you meant "iff" in this case, because otherwise your answer would not convey any information. Making the distinction explicit is exactly the reason why "iff" was introduced.
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@Cursorkeys said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
I can't wrap my head around IFF. That would just seem to be the normal meaning of if? If something isn't explicitly included in the conditional it's irrelevant.
The examples in the wiki just seem to be an abuse of language:"Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple." (equivalent to "Only if Madison will eat the fruit, it is an apple;" or "Madison will eat the fruit โ fruit is an apple")
This states that Madison will eat fruits that are apples. It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit. All that is known for certain is that she will eat any and all apples that she happens upon. That the fruit is an apple is a sufficient condition for Madison to eat the fruit."It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit", yes it does. If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
Edit: Maybe it'll make more sense after some coffee...
Colloquial language is not the same thing as mathematical, pedantic language.
Read "Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple" (b โ a) as "if it is an apple, Madison will eat it" (a โ b). Does that help?
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@ixvedeusi said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Cursorkeys said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
That's not communicated by the "if", it's implicit in the context. You trust the other person to assume you meant "iff" in this case, because otherwise your answer would not convey any information. Making the distinction explicit is exactly the reason why "iff" was introduced.
Counter-example: if someone says "If you call me an idiot one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face". Would you assume that you won't get punched in the face if you call that person an asshole instead?
Filed under: Yes, I watched "A Fish Called Wanda" recently
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@PleegWat said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
In mathematics, "A is true if B is true" means "A is true or B is false (or both, since mathematics uses inclusive or)", while "A is true if and only if B is true" means "Either A and B are both true, or they are both false".
@Zecc said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
Read "Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple" (b โ a) as "if it is an apple, Madison will eat it" (a โ b). Does that help?
@ixvedeusi said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
Counter-example: if someone says "If you call me an idiot one more time, I'm gonna punch you in the face". Would you assume that you won't get punched in the face if you call that person an asshole instead?
That all helped, thank you! I think I get it now.
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@PJH said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
She's a lesbian who loves someone called Lana?
You might be missing the butt of the joke...
Filed under: Sorry Not Sorry
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@HardwareGeek said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Karla said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
IIF
Ugh, syntax error makes me twitch...
Was going to put this in the funny stuff thread but seems relevant here.
I'm an introvert...what's your excuse?
That I come from a family of printers and learned to proofread at an early age. I also worked on a school newspaper for two years. Also, I am an introvert. And possibly also a bit of a jerk โ online, anyway.
Now I know my excuse. I'm the child of a copywriter and an Anglophile.
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@Cursorkeys said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
I can't wrap my head around IFF. That would just seem to be the normal meaning of if? If something isn't explicitly included in the conditional it's irrelevant.
The examples in the wiki just seem to be an abuse of language:"Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple." (equivalent to "Only if Madison will eat the fruit, it is an apple;" or "Madison will eat the fruit โ fruit is an apple")
This states that Madison will eat fruits that are apples. It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit. All that is known for certain is that she will eat any and all apples that she happens upon. That the fruit is an apple is a sufficient condition for Madison to eat the fruit."It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit", yes it does. If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
Edit: Maybe it'll make more sense after some coffee...
The part in the wiki that says,"It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit." is simply incorrect.
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@chozang said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@Cursorkeys said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
@M_Adams said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
I can't wrap my head around IFF. That would just seem to be the normal meaning of if? If something isn't explicitly included in the conditional it's irrelevant.
The examples in the wiki just seem to be an abuse of language:"Madison will eat the fruit if it is an apple." (equivalent to "Only if Madison will eat the fruit, it is an apple;" or "Madison will eat the fruit โ fruit is an apple")
This states that Madison will eat fruits that are apples. It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit. All that is known for certain is that she will eat any and all apples that she happens upon. That the fruit is an apple is a sufficient condition for Madison to eat the fruit."It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit", yes it does. If someone says 'do you want some fruit?' and I reply 'if it's an apple' I'm going to be pissed if you throw a banana at me.
Edit: Maybe it'll make more sense after some coffee...
The part in the wiki that says,"It does not, however, exclude the possibility that Madison might also eat bananas or other types of fruit." is simply incorrect.
I thought the same at first, but the truth is the sentence in English is too ambiguous to tell.
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Some people seem to think it's cool that you can now 3D print guns.
I'm not impressed, I've had a canon printer for years.
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What's in the middle of women's legs and where they have the curliest hair?
Their knees. And Africa.
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This post is deleted!
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I hired a landscape gardener, but he said he couldn't help, because my garden was portrait.
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I've got the memory of an elephant.
I remember this one time, I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.
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I was watching TV, the announcer said there was a documentary about the clitoris on the red button, but I couldn't find it.
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@DoctorJones All I remember is roaming the savanna, nursing a bitter resentment against the bull of the nearby herd, normal stuff.
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I've been trying to persuade my girlfriend to sexually stimulate me with her keyring, but she just keeps fobbing me off.
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My wife said she is kicking me out because she's sick of my obsession with Only Fools and Horses.
I said, "Ok, I'll fetch the suitcase from the van".
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The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex tape.
Well, obviously they don't know that yet.
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A friend of mine had a penis extension, and now his house looks really stupid.
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Did you hear about the druid who went totally berserk when his circle of standing stones was knocked down?
Poor guy became completely unhenged.
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A girl came up to me and said she recognised me from her vegetarian restaurant.
I was confused, I'd never met herbivore.
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I found this great origami porn channel.
Unfortunately it's paper view only.
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@masonwheeler said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
Did you hear about the druid who went totally berserk when his circle of standing stones was knocked down?
Poor guy became completely unhenged.
henge refers to the ditch, not the stone circle
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I know the comics thread is but this was made for this thread:
http://maximumble.thebookofbiff.com/2018/09/10/1798-what-now/
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Men are like Bluetooth: they stay connected as long as their pair is in the immediate vicinity, but are open to searching for other devices when it's far away.
Women are like Wi-Fi: evaluating all signals nearby and connecting to the strongest one.
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What do you give a young Sphinx with ADHD?
Riddle-in.
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Bigamy is having one wife too many
Monogamy is the same
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@Vault_Dweller said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
Bigamy is having one wife too many
Monogamy is the sameMy wife was really annoyed when I admitted I had another marriage, but I thought it was rather bigamy
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@Jaloopa said in The bad jokes topic ๐ด๐น๐จ:
My wife was really annoyed when I admitted I had another marriage, but I thought it was rather bigamy
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@Jaloopa This of course makes me think of: