The bad jokes topic 🐴🍹👨
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Texas jokes.
The Texan and the New Yorker were arguing about which state was richer. Finally, the New Yorker claimed that, "New York is so rich, we could build a three-foot high gold fence all the way around Texas." The Texan thought about that and said, "Waal, I'll tell you what. You go ahead and build your fence, and if we like it, we'll buy it."
(BTW, we're building that fence now.)
The Texan and the Arkansan were fishing in the Arkansas River. The Arkansan caught a 14-inch fish. The Texan commented, "Not much of a fish. Why, in Texas, we'd use a fish like that for bait!" The Arkansan never said a word; he just carefully unhooked the fish and threw it back in.
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Americans think that Texas is a really big place that's really far away. Texans think that America is a really big place that's really far away.
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@PleegWat said:
much worse things going on
Like some people defending PHP or, God forbid, VB even?
Hey, PHP is improving, PHP 7 will be amazing.
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And that, people, is a bad joke.
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Americans think 100 years is a long time. Europeans think 100 miles is a long way
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Is the promised good version of PHP always PHP N+2, where N is the current version of PHP?
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and what is PHP 6 if 7 is a bad joke?
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PHP 6 didn't happen. It's like Windows 9, it doesn't exist and never will.
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PHP 6 never existed in the first place. it was a tale for the bad coders.
"if you don't stop using mysql_* PHP 6 will come and it'll break your code, and kill your dog"
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PHP 6 did at one point exist, but was shitcanned because Unicode is hard.
Also, in PHP 7,
mysql_*
has been REMOVED. Not just deprecated, that shit is actually dead and gone.
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PHP 6 did at one point exist, but was shitcanned because Unicode is hard.
And here I was thinking you were actually joking about PHP 7.
I'm not really following PHP news, I had a very limited exposure to it during university and since then I've mostly worked with the language real men use - C.
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you dropped this
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mysql_* has been REMOVED
Then how do you really escape a string, totally for realz this time?
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I didn't actually. I work with plain C most of the time, lately C++ but I can't say I prefer it.
Some Objective C occasionally.
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mysqli_real_escape_string
or use parameterised queries because we've had those for a fucking decade.
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the language real
menmasochists use - C.
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>#
you dropped this
Judging by his avatar, he could benefit from dropping a few more. But hey -- It's a step in the right direction.
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He does have too much hash
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A Texan mom was walking into a grocery, but her gun fell out of her purse and her toddler shot her.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
A Texan mom was walking into a grocery, but her gun fell out of her purse and her toddler shot her.
If she'd had the safety on that wouldn't have happened. Or probably if she had something like this, which has a separate zippered pocket velcro straps to hold your gun in place.
Carrying in Condition One doesn't go well with a regular purse, it appears.
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Did the toddler follow the 4 rules of safety!
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Did the toddler follow the 4 rules of safety!
No, because you can't shoot someone without breaking at least two of them. Stupid baby.
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@loose said:
The terrible jokes thread is....no, wait...
We don't have one of those, just a bad joke thread.
https://what.thedailywtf.com/t/terribly-sexy-terrible-keiths-terrible-joke-thread-of-terrible-okayishness-tribbles/3691
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If she'd had the safety on that wouldn't have happened.
Not all guns have a safety
Or probably if she had something like this, which has a separate zippered pocket velcro straps to hold your gun in place.
Fun fact: The mom in Idaho who was shot by her toddler getting the gun out of her purse? She had one of those (maybe not the exact make and model). It was a present given to her so she could conceal carry in fashion. The family was a family of "gun enthusiast who respected guns"-- despite that concealed carrying a gun in a purse of any kind is against the rules of a concealed carry license in Idaho.
Did the toddler follow the 4 rules of safety!
THE FOUR RULES ONLY APPLY WHEN THE GUN OWNER IS A REAL SCOTTSMAN YOU GUNGRABBER!
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Not all guns have a safety
I'll bet you one of your plastic dollars that the gun of the woman who got shot by her baby had a safety. Essentially all modern handguns do.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
She had one of those (maybe not the exact make and model). It was a present given to her so she could conceal carry in fashion.
Interesting. So one of her earlier mistakes was probably not strapping it in place. If I were to carry concealed, I wouldn't be doing that.
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I'll bet you one of your plastic dollars
They aren't plastic. They're made from loon beaks. Geeze. And that's a sucker's bet I'm sure to lose, and I need my money to buy furs and whale blubber to survive the coming winter.
So one of her earlier mistakes was probably not strapping it in place.
No her first mistake was not following the damn law:
You may carry a firearm in your vehicle inside the city limits or confines of a city, as long as it is in plain view, loaded or unloaded.
But if you are going to conceal it, the firearm must be disassembled or unloaded.
Carry it in a purse? Fine. Unloaded or taken apart. She failed.
Want it loaded? Fine, but not hidden away in a purse. She failed.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
Want it loaded? Fine, but not hidden away in a purse. She failed.
I'm sure that doesn't apply to people who have a CHL or whatever Idaho calls it[1]. But if she didn't had one, then yeah.
BTW I said "one of her earlier mistakes" because I didn't know what other ones she had made.
[1] every state feels the need to use a different name, like the way they can't agree on what to call "Driving Drunk" so it might be DWI, DUI, OVI, or something else.
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Essentially all modern handguns do.
Tell that to GLOCK, a very popular handgun maker.
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Tell that to GLOCK, a very popular handgun maker.
Oh, you're one of those, are you?
I was wondering when someone would bring that up
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I'm sure that doesn't apply to people who have a CHL or whatever Idaho calls it[1]. But if she didn't had one, then yeah.
It explicitly does apply (I linked to Idaho's law interweb thing). You need a permit to carry concealed, but if you do, it has to be unloaded. Open carry while loaded is fine.
"one of her earlier mistakes"
Agreed.
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@Lorne_Kates said:
You need a permit to carry concealed, but if you do, it has to be unloaded.
Except that doesn't make a lick of sense....unless: http://www.idaho.gov/laws_rules/firearm.html
"You may carry a firearm in your vehicle inside the city limits or confines of a city, as long as it is in plain view, loaded or unloaded. But if you are going to conceal it, the firearm must be disassembled or unloaded."
I bet it means if you're going to conceal it in your vehicle, you can't have it loaded.
Yep: http://legislature.idaho.gov/idstat/Title18/T18CH33SECT18-3302.htm
(3) No person shall carry concealed weapons on or about his person without a license to carry concealed weapons, except
(d) Outside the limits of or confines of any city
(4) Subsection (3) of this section shall not apply to restrict or prohibit the carrying or possession of
(c) A firearm that is not loaded and is concealed in a motor vehicleSince section 3 specifically mentions unlicensed carry, and section 4 places limits on 3, that means it doesn't apply to a licensed carrier.
In fact, your link upthread actually demonstrates you were wrong: http://www.ag.idaho.gov/concealedWeapons/concealedWeapons_index.html#May I carry a firearm in my vehicle without a concealed weapons license
Pay attention to that anchor: "without a concealed weapons license". Shame on me for missing that the first time. Were you ignorant or pretending that wasn't there?
http://www.ag.idaho.gov/concealedWeapons/concealedWeapons_index.html#Are there places where I cannot carry a concealed weapon even with a license
"You may not carry a concealed weapon in a courthouse, juvenile detention facility, adult correctional facility, prison, jail, public school or private school. "
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Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.Q: What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple?
A: Finding a penis.Q: What's worse than finding a penis in your apple?
A: Finding YOUR penis.
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Detachable penis is the easiest solution.
But:- You could maybe just be that flexible.
- Gangsters have cut your penis off and you got an apple for your next breakfast.
- Maybe it was actually an apple pie?
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Detachable penis is the easiest solution.
Said almost nobody in the history of ever.
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Think of the possibilities, you could literally go fuck yourself.
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Detachable penis is the easiest solution.
I don't know...my experience with detachments is that they always detach at critical moments.
Think of the possibilities, you could literally go fuck yourself.
With it detached, where's the fun in that?
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you could literally go fuck yourself.
Only partially. No prostate or testicles attached.
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I don't know...my experience with detachments is that they always detach at critical moments.
What if it doesn't all come off and you end up with just a detached head?
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What if it doesn't all come off and you end up with just a detached head?
Well, at the current time, my head does not detach. This is a good thing, because I'd have left it in some bus or left it under the bed or something and it would never be found again.
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What if it doesn't all come off and you end up with just a detached head?
Just stash it somewhere. Just make sure it's accessible so you can pull it at people when you want them to check it out.
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never be found again
Ever since the Iron Giant Incident, all major appendages are to be equipped with autonomy-enabling facilities to allow future re-attachment in the event of accidental (or purposeful) dismemberment, including discombobulation.
Filed under: I know where it is, I just can't get to it!
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@Jaloopa said:
What if it doesn't all come off and you end up with just a detached head?
Just stash it somewhere. Just make sure it's accessible so you can pull it at people when you want them to check it out.
For gosh sakes, rebase it as soon as possible!
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KERNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!
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Seems like your personal problem. It kerns correctly here.
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