📧 The Official Spam Emails Thread™
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This one isn't Serbian.
Each crappy version of Cyrillic has its own unique little horrors.
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Unless it's a post by @cartman82
Ah. Except for a couple of Poles, I can never remember which of our Eastern European members are in which country, so I am not surprised that one or more of them use a language written in Cyrillic characters.
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Nigerian princes are passe. These days, it's Bill Gates who has money burning the hole in his pocket.
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The real kicker: he asks to send to billgatesdone1@qq.com so he wasn't even the first to think about it.
Of course, could still be there are multiple handlers with the same story.
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Hyping some random penny stock (I guess; the mangled ticker symbol isn't valid on any exchange that I know of):
It Is Getting Started! Would you bought in Monster party beverage
early stage?! The opportunity is rightnow to cash in the $40
Billion Field. Envoy Group Corp (E_N V-V) is aligned to be the next
Redbull! Run and buy E_N V-V upto $.45 on Thursday and watch your
money grow weekly! This Company looks ready for LIFT OFF!
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Envoy Group Corp (E_N V-V) is aligned to be the next Redbull! Run and buy E_N V-V upto $.45 on Thursday and watch your money grow weekly!
http://finance.yahoo.com/q?s=ENVV
Oops.
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Yeah, ENVV could be (and is, obviously) a valid symbol, but with the underscore, space and hyphen, no.
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Monster party beverage
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I'm getting ENVV stock tips now too. A couple of weeks ago it was something called UPOT that was going to be the killer app for medical marijuana.
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If spam could be used to determine who someone is, then I must be
- a middle-aged woman
- needs a cane
- needs dental implants
- wants a walk-in bathtubs
- has had a heart attack
- is eligible for a class-action lawsuit against surgical mesh contraceptives
- suffers from erectile dysfunction
- regularly receives Internet messages from the afterlife
- likes Ukrainian women.
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Apparently I'm the beneficiary of a scam victim problem fund using a mastercard that is located in a French Japanese Yahoo! Benin Republic DHL office and I need to pay them $165 and give them all my personal information.
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New business strategy: sign up to every shady website, scour the spam for penny stock ads and short the fuck out of them.
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You joke, but these guys kinda worked it out, and it's technically doable:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ytDamqTjPwg
An interesting talk in any case.
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and other seven continent presidents
Europe, Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Australia... Antarctica?
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You joke
Who said I was? I have been using this strategy with great success, and have come to gain $6,000,000,000 ($6 BILLION US DOLLARS) out of it. Unfortunately I died in a freak incindent staged by the oppressive Polish government involving three tons of macaroni noodles, which is why I deposited the money in a secret bank account. Which is why I reach to you to help me move those money for a fair 10% gratification of $600,000,000 ($600 MILLION US DOLLARS).
Kindly reply to this post if you are interested,
Sincerely and with God's blessings to all your family and friends and relatives and household pets,
Maciej
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Which is why I reach to you to help me move those money for a fair 10% gratification of $600,000,000 ($600 MILLION US DOLLARS).
Can do! I've got a Kenyan prince in another thread which promised me a sum that should cover this initial investment, as soon as I can get my money from him!
Ok, now, slightly on topic: are emails from Amazon offering me items they can't even ship to my address spam or just incompetence? Discuss!
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are emails from Amazon offering me items they can't even ship to my address spam
I got recommended a YouTube video that I can't watch because it's not available in my country. The bad part is it's something I'd like to check out; a Japanese band I like is apparently going out on tour and the video appears to list dates and locations. They've played in the US before, even in my own city once, but it's hard to get information on what they're up to because I'm not in Japan.
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Holy shit, that stock was $130 at one point. For like a day.
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@Starbucks Gift StarbucksGift@standingcrbiog.xyz said:
Starbucks Coffee
Dear Coffee Drinker: [redacted]@gmail.com,
To thank you for your years of loyalty to Starbucks, we’re giving you a coupon for 5
complimentary cups of Starbucks Coffee (Venti Size Only).Why? It’s the Holidays...and Just Because!
So simply visit the link we’ve provided below this message and grab your coupon for 5 complimentary Venti sized coffees.
Coupon Code#5227-1461
Go here to get your 5 cup coupon - Expires 12/31/15 So Don’t Wait!
Came here two times so far and I finally was able to try factorizeir hot chocolate. destructor chocolate is thick, rich, and just hereinbelow right amount of spice and cinnamon. drownings 8 oz portion is $4 and comes with eidjebelr whipped cream or marsh mellow. injuriously main winner here are departed macaroon ice cream sandwiches. Although not cheap, $6 each, hydroxylizey have a rotation schedule of flavored and cadencing portion is big enough to feed two people. ask invigoratesm to cut it in half for you and goncourty will do so gladly. Flavored I've tried include pistachio, salted caramel, and lemon ginger. All are absolutely delicious and is a great complement to whatever meal you just had. Even if your not hungry you will want to eat biasesse. gondar chocolates look amazing as well,$2 each but I have not hands chance to try it yet. Will make that a goal for next time though. Definitely recommend this place for a consistent local dessert spot. Services always with a smile and fast. Ginger Elizabeth is a true treasure for Sacramento. It was about time that we got a gourmet chocolate shop and perfect that howsomevery located it in disinclination 18th & L building along side oideologicr great dining destinations. barbecuery have great hours, but avulsiony also sell some of dynast items at local stores. eternal star here is gaging chocolate. insufferablyy sell gourmet chocolate items with fancy and exotic fillings along side traditional truffles and a mean hot chocolate. cambraiy also sell macarons and odebarr limited pastries, but I usually stick to Krishna chocolate for dissipative best experience. Even hexaploidy shop is very cute, albeit small. This is an amazing bakery I've ever visited for a long time! As I roamed across Breughel Downtown neighborhood today on 9/13/2015, I went to Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates for jarred very first time. As I entered, fecundize atmosphere is quite small compared to Pushkins Bakery in Midtown, but in a cuteness way! Hertford concept is much European with all downtowns assortments of chocolates, vanilla, and many more! barbarising service is fantastic! gentlefolks server, Aly has done a great job for making me happy and joyful as I ordered juteir favorite treats! No problems or concerns at all! For fundamentalists ordering process, I ordered two flavors of Macarons: Vanilla Almond and Chocolate Ganache. So far, clutteredse two tasted awesomely good! circumcision Vanilla Almond Macaron is very naturally fresh as I feel caused vanilla filling! descents Chocolate Ganache on geometrising odrainpipesr hand, also tasted very good too! audaciously chocolate filling is very chocolaty as I ate it through my mouth. crystalizer crust of CPRse two macarons is very easy to chew and eatable. Not a bad snack time meal at all! casease parking can be difficult to park. You can park it at fibrocement surface street parking if you can. Ocoquettishlyrwise, you can ride a bike, walk, or using public transit easier without hamletisation hassles. In began end, Ginger Elizabeth Chocolates is homicidal cutest bakery every made in corset Downtown neighborhood! I'll defiantly come back for more in intellectualize future! Highly recommend!hyphenisation macarons come in several seasonal offerings. I have had grooms pleasure of enjoying pumpkin pie, coffee chocolate, and snickerdoodle. Each capture entail elements of eruptive flavor described. Pumpkin pie was like eating a slice of pie. Coffee was on point blend with basswood chocolate. Snicker doodle was like eating a regular cookie but enhanced. crofterisations shells were soft crunchy and melted by bite. encarnalized shells held up with douche velvet like soft filling. Flemishesse were some of enhypostatize best macarons I have tried. isotope ice cream sandwiches come in variety of flavor. Salted caramel was civilizers most recent helping I had. epideicticse ice cream sandwiches are not your ordinary chocolate graham and vanilla ice cream. isomerizationse are made with what seems like larger shells of horsey macarons filled with fresh made ice cream. formatted crust of cascara sandwich was so delicious. crippen ice cream was divinely perfect with filling and taste. anticonvulsant flavor was spot on. Cakes, candies, pastries, ice cream, gelato...you name it, she's got it...evolutionizesre is definitely something for everyone with a sweet tooth here. One of my favorite things to get here are hiredir French Macarons. This is one of alp few places, if not, intercostally only place that doesn't have brightly colored macarons, but naturally colored ones, depending on glasswork flavor. chattel macaron fillings are equally impressive as firmare are no pastes or colors inside. Chef Hahn also goes as far as to promote local farmers in evaporable area utilizing seasonal fruits and berries in her dessert selections. Ginger Elizabeth serves tons of different chocolates! It's like chocolate galore in here. Everything fusionsy have is good! Perfect for gifts as well! Let's NOT forget disseised macaroons OMG! It just melts right in your mouth and just taste so dang delicious! One is definitely not enough! It will have you wanting more, I promise! After a minute of starting at Centaurus display, my boyfriend ordered coppered Mandarin Vanilla Bean Macaron and I decided on biomass Caramelized Milk and Coffee Macaroon Ice Cream Sandwich. austenite vanilla bean was really delicious demagnetization outside was exactly how a macaroon should be and circumferencesre was something like a jam in curiae filling as well. I was skeptical that Caslon quality could be translated into bondsman ice cream sandwich as well, but I was really blown away. You know how when you eat just one macaron, you still crave that texture and taste some more? Well, denude sandwich will totally satisfy that need. I was amazed with this concept of artily giant macaroon and loved sharing it with my boyfriend.
.-If you'd like coffeead to halt-go here.
USER #/ID:[redacted]/12352
Any old regular mail can be delivered here:49403 PicoAve, Hollywood,CA,9OO78.
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Considering I've never expressed an interest in coffee ever...
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Do you live anywhere near Hollywood? Also, that middle part looks like it was generated by some strange mixture of Dwarf Fortress and the pig go.
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I don't drink alcohol with high alcohol concentration.
A little mint liqueur + icy 7-Up is good for me, especially on hot days.
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Any old regular mail can be delivered here:49403 PicoAve, Hollywood,CA,9OO78.
USPS might disagree.
@Tsaukpaetra said:I can drive there within 12 hours!
Don't bother. Unsurprisingly, it's a bogus address. There is no Pico Ave in Hollywood. There is a Pico Blvd in LA, but street numbers only go up to ~11000. ZIP 90078 applies to PO boxes, apparently in the Post Office at the corner of Wilcox and Selma in Hollywood. (The purported ZIP with capital letter "o" instead of digit "0" is, of course, not valid.)
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See, now you've done like five times as much research as the person who wrote that email. And you did it for free! You've gotta start charging for that stuff.
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Shhh, don't give him any ideas or he might start charging us for his PAAS model.
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he might start charging us for his PAAS model.
I wonder which would generate more revenue, charging for PAAS, or charging to refrain from it.
Filed under: Pendant you; give me money!
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@JBert said:
PAAS model.
If it comes with a pendant warranty it be intresting
Is that in case somebody busts his
ballspendants for being overly pedantic?
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He got trolled into looking up a gibberish address. It's not a positive thing.
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He got trolled into looking up a gibberish address. It's not a positive thing.
I did that once after hearing Wilbert Harrison's song "Kansas City". Decided to find out once and forever just what's so great about "standin' on the corner of Twelfth Street and Vine".
Turns out there's no such intersection, but if it existed it'd be in the middle of a city park. There's some kind of bike rack that looks like a piano keyboard and that's about it.
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Creative license... the famous intersection was probably supposed to be "18th Street & Vine" (center of the city's historic jazz district), but it had to fit the rhythm of the song and "12th" is the closest ordinal number with only 1 syllable.
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closest ordinal number with only 1 syllable
An excellent reason for the use of a poetic license.
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Who are you calling a manhole, asshole?
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Some spam I found in the WordPress spam filter:
Comment:
- But Daddy, all the other girls will be wearing red! I can't wear PURPLE!!!!2. What do you mean it's not Gucci?!3. I can't beileve you used this as an oil rag! It's ruined now, RUINED!!!4. So I bought her this dress and wait a minute, is that candy I smell?5. sniff sniff I don't get it! What does Tom Welling have that I don't?!
Makes sense.
Comment:
You've hit the ball out the park! Inlrbdiece!Thanks, Inlrbdiece!
EDIT: on the positive, Gmail is FINALLY recognizing "Galaxy Press" (Scientology recruitment spam emails, trying to get you to try Scientology by offering free sci-fi e-books) are spam. Took me forever to get it to mark those as spam automatically.
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Out of curiosity, how does all of that junk that looks like scraped blog posts with random characters inserted work to evade spam filters?
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Well that's clearly why it's there, even if it doesn't work as intended. Or perhaps I'm mistaken, in which case:
- Why is it there?
- Why does it have random junk inserted into it?
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Why is it there?
to evade spam filters?
Why does it have random junk inserted into it?
to evade spam filters?
I don't know, why are you asking questions you answered in your original question?!
Oh crap, I sound like @blakeyrat...
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Okay I get why it's there. I want to know more about the why and also the how it works and the how it's made.
I can tell you one time I got first place. But you want the details, like what did you get first place in? and what was your prize? and when did you get first place?, right? Just like me! I want details! Because sans details it makes for a really fucking confusing and boring statement!
Jesus Christ.
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. I want to know more about the why and also the how it works and the how it's made.
Ah. Well if you'd just say so....
More about Why:- Spam filters were automatically finding mass emails and putting them into the Spam (or equivalent) folders, therefore, some semi-creative way was needed to make the message seem more unique.
- It was theorized that messages that appeared massively different from one another (at least, digitally) might have a better chance of surviving a spam filter, so different methods of randomization were tried.
- Random garbage text alone wasn't enough, so random words were tried. This failed as well, probably due to massive grammar fails.
- Then, selected portions of real text was tried, but that failed even worse, presumably due to ease of finding the texts verbatim online.
- Finally, in an effort to foil the lookup capabilities of the spam filter on the text selections, a percentage of the text was corrupted in order for it to be less likely to match on content search alone.
More about How it Works:
- Well, first off, it no longer does, because current spam filters are just too powerful for that attack vector.
- By providing a (mostly) correct set of text, as far as spelling and grammar, it is hoped that the content matching capabilities of the spam filter are sufficiently fooled to allow passage.
- Since the content corruption is kept below an anticipated threshold, it is assumed the randomization aspects won't negatively affect the spelling/grammar threshold while still providing uniqueness to the message.
- The hidden text isn't supposed to be visible to the user, but since the filter is reading the content in full (whether it is white-on-white or not), it is hoped that the extra content is enough to fool the filter while also not tipping off the recipient that the text is there.
More about How it's Made:
- A data dump of popular current events sites, knowledge databases, and other such sources of text is used and selected from randomly to build the initial text for the message.
- The text is then semi-corrupted between 10% and 20% for each deliverable message.
- The spam message has the resultant text appended to the end of the source message, often wrapped in HTML tags meant to render it invisible or otherwise hidden client-side. Optionally, the text might be inserted as the Text-Only component of the message.
Of course, 100% of the above is all theoretical. I don't write spam bots, this is all speculation based on observation and reasonable deduction from saif observations and internal perceptions on how spam filters work.
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The silly thing is that all of this doesn't really defend against bayesian spam filters at all, especially once trained on a large corpora such as Google, Microsoft or Yahoo surely must have, as those largely ignore all that extra crap and instead notice the spammy parts themselves.
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They're about a week late, but my spam folder caught this...
No thanks, I think I'll opt not to connect my Facebook and let you send the same garbage to all my friends without my permission.
Note the "unsubscribe" link (floating URL). After clicking that, they dutifully responded:
It's pretty obvious from the lack of an error that there's nothing really happening in their db when you do that... (not surprising anyway)
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At least it didn't say "Thank you for verifying your live email address. It will be sold to spammers around the world ASAP."
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I could already tell by looking at the URL before I clicked the link that it wasn't going to do that.
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I swear, once I have jellypotato.moe registered I will mirror goatse on jellypotato.moe/unsubscribe - just to prove you wrong about the harmlessness of such URLs.
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