How To Demoralize Employees: A DIY Guide for Terrible Companies
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You tried to buy a compass, but the guy said the compass store was to the east and you walked off in the wrong direction.
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You tried to buy a compass, but the guy said the compass store was to the east and you walked off in the wrong direction.
Who the hell says that the compass store is to the east?
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GPS: "Get on I-90 East"
{takes westbound ramp}
GPS: "Recalculating. Calculation shows you are an idiot."
Ok I'm done now. But seriously, man. Seriously. Can't tell east from west. 7 year olds can do that.
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Ok I'm done now. But seriously, man. Seriously. Can't tell east from west. 7 year olds can do that.
You're completely misunderstanding the situation, but I'm not going to stop you from doing that.
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You're completely misunderstanding the situation, but I'm not going to stop you from doing that.
Some things even modern science has deemed impossible.
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I can't believe the insensitivity here!!
Some of us grew up on islands!
All we had was "go around that way" and
"go around the other way"None of your modern, sophisticated "we're so much better than you" East and West jive.
They killed Captain Cook for his compass.
Huh, look, the header thing works.
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Away from the coast...I always think of that as west, growing up on the east coast.
There is your problem, directions come from which way to mountains not from coast. Mountains are east.
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Some of us grew up on islands! All we had was "go around that way" and "go around the other way"
None of your modern, sophisticated "we're so much better than you" East and West jive.
Where my people come from, it was always "just over that mountain..."
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Where my people come from, it was always "just over that mountain..."
Just down the road?
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The interstate road on an island.
Wrong buttumption, I buttume.
Repeat: Where my people come from, it was always "just over that mountain..."
No roads. If you were lucky, you went by horseback. If not, like most of us, then by foot. -Dad
Funny thing, no one ever got confused about which mountain. School was that way, into town was this way, etc.
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My buttumption was about how people from Hawaii always say something is "just down the road"
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idiot
Didn't "just a bunch of idiots" win the World Series twice in the last 10 years? :P
Paging @chubertdev
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Thrice, in the past dozen years.
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Sorry but this idiot can't be dismissed with a mere smiley.
How about pointing out how you don't bother to read what people wrote? That generally seems to do the trick.
Chubertdev grew up on the east coast, therefore "away from the coast" means "west" to him.
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Chubertdev grew up on the east coast, therefore "away from the coast" means "west" to him.
I got that. Obviously.
Are you trying to argue that that line of thinking makes him not an idiot?
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Are you trying to argue that that line of thinking makes him not an idiot?
No. I'm testing boundary conditions.
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Are you trying to argue that that line of thinking makes him not an idiot?
I don't think anyone's arguing that. It's too obviously true that it doesn't make him an idiot.
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So at lunch, a co-worker meant to say west, and accidentally said east, and corrected himself. I found it funny. I guess that makes him an idiot.
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Away from the coast, as well as north and away from the coast. I always think of that as west, growing up on the east coast
Ha! I'm not the only one! I've been here (SF-area) for 20 yrs (holy shit!) now, and still constantly do that.
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It sounds like there are quite a few of us.
http://demotivators.despair.com/demotivational/idiocydemotivator.jpg
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So at lunch, a co-worker meant to say west, and accidentally said east, and corrected himself. I found it funny. I guess that makes him an idiot.
There was some kind of vortex at my last place of business. Just about everyone would say some place was "just a couple of miles north of here" and point due east. Or maybe it was the other way around. Anyway, those of us who were born with a sense of direction would always wonder how they managed to get so consistently turned around.
(This is not related to the Wal-Mart Shopper Syndrome, in which people walk boldly northward while looking east, and then glare at you when they plow right into your completely stationary shopping cart.)
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I grew up in a town that was on a twisting, turning river on a part of it where it made a U around our town so the river was to our west. The town east of us had it to their east, all of us thought of the river as being south of us and were wrong at nearly every time we mentioned it.
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I suppose it wasn't a couple of miles north, but reached via a road that started out going east?
It's easy enough where I live, the river runs pretty straight west to east (except when it flows east to west), and there's no trouble remembering whether you're on the north or south bank on account of south is a different town.
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DC Beltway works in my mind the island-way: this-way-round/that-way-round - in DC-speak "inner-loop" vs. "outer-loop" [1].
In my head "Maryland is North. Virginia is South. 95 goes North/South."
Except the river is basically NW-to-SE.
So, basically, I avoid words like "East" and "West"....
But, nobody seems to understand the clock methaphor[2] either.
[1] That must be a real poser if your native-driving is wrong-way round.
[2] Looks like I've picked up @boomzilla's PHP addiction.
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Anyway, those of us who were born with a sense of direction would always wonder how they managed to get so consistently turned around.
I have always had an excellent topographical internal map of areas I've lived in. It doesn't always match up well with actual directions and dimensions, though.
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But, nobody seems to understand the clock methaphor[2] either.
Try deosil and widdershins then.
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For some reason, I've always felt like Santa Barbara, CA, would be a perfect place to live. At least it looks like from what I've seen on Psych.
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At least it looks like from what I've seen on Psych.
Which you see in the opening and some of the stock cut scenes. The actual show was shot in British Columbia, eh? It's a nice place, but basically a desert on the coast. There are no big forests nearby.
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There are no big forests nearby.
But... but... Los Padres National Forest. That must be a forest, right?
No?
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I use "Maryland is East, Virginia is West" in DC. So rotate 90 degrees from yours.
NYC is prettymuch east of where I work (it's slightly north, but much farther east), but the roads to get there "go North", and there are a bunch of roads that go "east" that come out in Philadelphia. So my mental model places solidly NYC to the northeast, and Philly due east. It's actually southeast. Broadly I treat major highways and interstates as a mostly perfect grid system with a few perfect diagonals.
This means that there's some dimensional skew in my mentally drawn up routes making them somewhat more likely to take longer, but they'll get you there. And the skew averages out the larger the distances actually are.
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In California, El Camino Real is the remnant of the old Spanish royal highway that ran north from Baja California to San Francisco. In places, it runs almost due west, but it's always the local definition of "north."
There is also a section of highway (not El Camino) north of Berkeley where you can simultaneously be travelling east on I-80 and west on I-580, while actually driving northward.
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I use "Maryland is East, Virginia is West" in DC. So rotate 90 degrees from yours.
So we're both off 45 degrees, just differently. ;)
Broadly I treat major highways and interstates as a mostly perfect grid system with a few perfect diagonals.
Which'll work pretty
good DangWengIsNotSupermanwell in PA.I had put your work round about Lancaster, sounds like you're even further North.
Mistake not to make:
if you're going to Pittsburgh from DC,
and you get to the I70/US rte15 split in Frederick,
and you miss the exit and end up on 15,
in a huge rainstorm,
don't say "heck with it, I'll keep going, 15 hits the turnpike, it's all good"Two hours of your life you can't back.
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From the WTDWTF President thread:
A funny piece of paper rolls out from your cd drive. It saysâ– â– â– â– â– â– â– ING GOD DAMN IF THEY DON'T FIX THE â– â– â– â– â– â– â– ING A/C MAKING A HUGE NOISE WHEN IT KICKS IN AND THEN PROCEEDING TO DROWN OUT MY THOUGHTS I'M GOING TO â– â– â– â– â– â– â– ING LOSE ITThat's not actually what the paper says. I'm just tired of this shit. Also to be noted this thing is right above my head and this floor doesn't have a full dropped ceiling.
The sad part was I was going to come up with something funny but didn't because of it kicking on. :/ Not even kidding it kicked on right after I typed says.
My vote goes to whoever fixes this damn machine.
Belgium you Discourse this post isn't empty.
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I was hurrying, still trying to get my time back.
"Go quickly, but do not rush."
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Due to anonymisation I can neither confirm nor deny the Lancasteriness of my workplace. Until I quit. Then it's full on name and shame time.
The grid thing actually works very well nationally. I'll have to draw a map of it some time.
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In California, El Camino Real is the remnant of the old Spanish royal highway that ran north from Baja California to San Francisco. In places, it runs almost due west, but it's always the local definition of "north."
Local equivalent of that is Tucson, which you reach from Phoenix by driving "east" on I-10 to go what is more south than east.
Not helped by people in Tucson itself who refer to "going down" to Phoenix. Makes sense if you're talking actual elevation, but not if you're looking at a map.
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I'll have to draw a map of it some time.
Does this help? Also, even-numbered interstates generally go east-west, odd-numbered north-south
, except technically that only applies to the 0s and 5s"Numbers divisible by five are intended to be major arteries among the primary routes, carrying traffic long distances".
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Most places near the Bay, you have mountains east and west of you.
Having worked 2 summers in CO (teenager on a dude ranch in Estes Park), those are merely hills.
I'm also always about 90deg out of sync here. To me, 17 (to Santa Cruz) always feels like it should be "west". It's south. Doesn't help that getting off 101 south at Lawrence and taking a 90deg turn means you're now going south on Lawrence. (where's the sun? ah ok, re-oriented...)
Oh, and
(I know I've seen one with all 4, but google only this)
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Local equivalent of that is Tucson, which you reach from Phoenix by driving "east" on I-10 to go what is more south than east.
Not helped by people in Tucson itself who refer to "going down" to Phoenix. Makes sense if you're talking actual elevation, but not if you're looking at a map.
That's not too bad, since the 10 goes east-west over the majority of its length. I'd rather it be consistent.