The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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That would make a perfect frame for a mad-lib:
_______ man `had sex with ______ _______.
A __________ man with a bizarre sexual
attracton to ________ has been banned from
_______________ and forced to sign the
sex-offenders' register.______________, _____, was found by police
with his trousers around his ___________
___________ with a ____________ ___________
in a __________ near ___________.He was arrested on suspicion of outraging
public decency and admitted to having had
sex with _____________ ___________ all
___________ ____________.When officers searched his ______________
home they found a collection of more
than ______ ___________ ___________
on his _______________.
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E_INVALIDARG
Missing noun/verb/etc hints.
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Freedom!
[spoiler]I know they're missing, but doing them properly in Discourse would be hard...and I'm lazy.[/spoiler]
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Capgras delusion.
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That headline reads like it would be suitable for HIGNFY's fourth round, the Missing Words Round (with special callout to Playyokel, incorporating the Tractor Lover's Gazette).
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Do you think you'd make a good sniper?
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[ ] No •
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TARGET_NOT_FOUND?
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Would it really have cost that much to print: 4-999
'course, they could have gone with 4-969
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Or
4+
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4-999
I would have gone with the real world data - look up the human age record in the Guinness book and use that.
Update as necessary.
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Or 4+?
Too simple, obviously...otherwise they wouldn't have gone to all the trouble to print 99. (Idiots.)
I would have gone with the real world data - look up the human age record in the Guinness book and use that.Update as necessary.
Don't need to. Bible. Methuselah. 969: record.
[spoiler]Or did you think I came up with that number by accident? Yes, I know that's "suspect" in some people's view, but round up to 999 and no updating will be required.[/spoiler]Lacks implication that Lego is enjoyable in the ages past single digits.
Not to me, as a computer programmer. I would write the test as:
if (age >= 4)
Funny thing, that works for ages 100, 1000, and even 33,871,663,818,281.
But then, I'm a programmer and we look at the world wrong or something.
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Don't need to. Bible. Methuselah. 969: record.
IIRC, there's another fellow (Enoch?) who never actually died; that makes him the record, and that record is increasing every year
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I know that's "suspect" in some people's view
Guilty as charged.
Methuselah
TIL
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Well what about individuals living on Pluto? Do they need to be 990 Earth-years of age to play with Legos there?
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That's the guy.
Other uses of that name:
- That one guy who keeps showing up in Neal Stephenson's books
- That book where everyone gets all the angel names from
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IIRC, there's another fellow (Enoch?) who never actually died; that makes him the record, and that record is increasing every year
You mean people who went directly to Heaven, right? But they aren't here to play with Legos: record disqualified.
Genesis 5 says Enoch lived to 365.
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Think they mean the other one.
You are talking about:
I believe they are talking about:
But it's been a long time since I last looked at this junk.
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It's a name. The vast majority of people have names, which there tend to be far fewer of than people.
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and even 33,871,663,818,281.
But then, I'm a programmer and we look at the world wrong or something.
Well you must be if you think that 2500× the current age of the universe is somehow a reasonable age for a person.
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IIRC, there's another fellow (Enoch?) who never actually died; that makes him the record, and that record is increasing every year
About Enoch it literally says "God took him" (Gen 5:24), which could be a figure of speech meaning that he died. Or it might not. In the New Testament, the author of Hebrews indicated that God took him, and he did not die (Heb 11:5).
Moses is an unusual case; the way the passage about his death (Deut 34:5-6) is typically translated makes it sound like he died, the Lord buried him, and nobody knows where; it might possibly have meant that he died, was buried, and the location of the grave site has since been forgotten, though. Some cults believe that he never actually died, despite the bit that clearly says he did.
Elijah is the other individual who never died; he was taken up to heaven in a whirlwind (2 Kings 2:11). There's a bit of a puzzle because his name later appeared as the author of a letter written to King Jehoram of Judah (2 Chron 21:12-15); however, another prophet may have written the letter and used Elijah as a pen name: the Elijah had prophesied condemnations upon the kings of Israel in his own time, and the letter prophesied condemnation upon Jehoram king of Judah for following their bad examples. Or it might have just been another prophet also named Elijah.
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Anyway, instead of unfunny things like scripture, I now submit THIS:
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You mean people who went directly to Heaven, right? But they aren't here to play with Legos
If Heaven doesn't have Legos, I ain't going.
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human age record
Well, the number varies, depending on whether you're religious or not and what your religion is.
Edit: Dammit, 'd by at least 3 different people. I should really read the rest of the posts before replying.
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I should really read the rest of the posts before replying.
Don't succumb to Jeff. Resist TCoCDCK.
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Bible. Methuselah. 969
Well if you're going to use fictional characters, surely there are some much older than that? Google suggests an X-Men mutant bad guy named Apocolypse and someone from the Highlander TV series.
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Don't need to. Bible. Methuselah. 969: record.
Another bit of trivia: The Jehovah's Witnesses believe (or at least we were told this by a Jehovah's Witness classmate in the 6th grade) that a perfect man would have lived to 1000. Since Methuselah came closest, he was the closest thing to a perfect man.
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Funny thing, that works for ages 100, 1000, and even 33,871,663,818,281.
What about age 33,873,811,301,929?
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I wasn't aware that books about rape and incest fit under the category of "funny stuff".
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What about age 33,873,811,301,929?
Everything up to 9,223,372,036,854,775,807. Since that's around 667,393,056 times the age of the universe, it should be enough.
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So your system can only track birth dates to the precision of 1.000000000000000218575157973077741694700133723837397866046 years?
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I wasn't aware that books about rape and incest fit under the category of "funny stuff".
Sure they fit... you just have to force them a little.
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It's an innate part of being a human to be afraid of and hostile towards things you don't understand. That's part of what gave humans an evolutionary advantage over, say, dogs.
However, we've won evolution. We don't need to keep being afraid of things that we don't understand because we no longer have to fight for survival. We can use our time to understand things. Whether you use the scientific method or you pull some shit out of your ass, you can probably come up with a reason for things.
It's sure a lot easier than understanding what's going on in this case. The text in question was the Islamic profession of faith. ‘There is no god but Allah’. This is what converts (who are usually forced at the point of a sword) to Islam must recite. Figures an NBC article would leave out the critical point. See http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2015/dec/16/va-school-district-defends-calligraphy-lesson-decl/ for the full story.
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In response to your non-funny, I present this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_9858ev8E94
Thread saved.
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Shouldn't both of those read "I can't read this Perl script"?
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In response to your non-funny, I present this:
So when I played it, of course this advertisement came up....
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Especially as you can simply click on the logo and they'll show you search results which explain what the logo is about...
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Especially as you can simply click on the logo and they'll show you search results which explain what the logo is about...
SJWs cannot be bothered with such things. They prefer to jump to conclusions and then take off to the tumblrs to freak out about nothing.
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Hasn't anyone told them stealing people's holidays is bad?
#culturalappropriation
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Or just hover the mouse over the image.
I'm constantly reminded of this reading such guff:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrx2bv_LoG0
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Lifeless eyes, matte skin... is that a statue?
I won't ask how you ended up on Cosmopolitan's site.