The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The eyedrops, as it turned out, came in a yellow plastic bottle that looked all too close to the one that contained the cyanoacrilate adhesive for his mom's press-on nails. And when your vision is impaired already, it's hard to make out the details...
Reminds me of my grandmother, except the offending liquid there was olbas oil.
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
olbas oil.
Active ingredients are listed as;[9]
- Cajeput oil
- Clove oil
- Eucalyptus oil
- Juniper berry oil
- Levomenthol
- Methyl salicylate
- Peppermint oil
These get hilarious when put on the surface of the eye.
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
These get hilarious when put on the surface of the eye.
That's a way to put it. It's just the kind of thing that makes for a laugh-a-minute birthday celebration.
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Case in point. Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
My bicycle doesn't go quite that fast.
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
My
bicyclelegs doesn't go quite that fast.The bike itself is probably quite capable of it; it's the "engine" that's lacking in power.
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@HardwareGeek Me walking really doesn't go that fast.
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
My bicycle doesn't go quite that fast.
22.2 mph / 35.7 kph is readily attainable. Git gud.
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
My bicycle doesn't go quite that fast.
22.2 mph / 35.7 kph is readily attainable. Git gud.
On a racing bicycle, sure. And then you'll arrive all sweaty.
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
My bicycle doesn't go quite that fast.
22.2 mph / 35.7 kph is readily attainable. Git gud.
On a racing bicycle, sure. And then you'll arrive all sweaty.
That's why you work where there are backdoors and showers.
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@Applied-Mediocrity You'll be fine. Just don't drop the soap.
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From the " did I just read"-department:
The headline speaks for itself:
Attack in Öjendorf's Park in Hamburg: Man exposes himself and attacks a woman with a dead seagull
[...] in order to escape from the police, he jumped into the nearest lake and tried to swim away.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
in order to escape from the police, he jumped into the nearest lake and tried to swim away.
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
From the " did I just read"-department:
The headline speaks for itself:
"Attack in Öjendorf's Park in Hamburg: Man exposes himself and attacks a woman with a dead seagull
[...] in order to escape from the police, he jumped into the nearest lake and tried to swim away."AKA: Monday in Florida
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
in order to escape from the police, he jumped into the nearest lake and tried to swim away.
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
Particularly in light of the fact that the firebrigade has boats available at that lake.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
in order to escape from the police, he jumped into the nearest lake and tried to swim away.
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
Tell that to Richard Kimball.
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@jinpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Richard Kimball
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Kimball
Richard Kimball
Member of the Arizona Corporation Commission
In office
January 1983 – September 1985
Preceded by Jim Weeks
Succeeded by Sharon Megdal
Member of the Arizona Senate
from the 21st district
In office
1979–1983
Preceded by Timothy D. Hayes
Succeeded by Carl J. Kunasek
Personal details
Born 1946 (age 75–76)
Political party Democratic Bussy Party
Alma mater University of Arizona
Profession Activist
Politician
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
On a tangent, this isn't exactly funny, but darkly ironic:
"As director of NCEP, Lapenta was responsible for oversight of nine key National Weather Service offices, including the National Hurricane Center, the Storm Prediction Center and the Climate Prediction Center."
"The National Weather Service had warned of rip currents and high surf due to Hurricane Lorenzo."
An additional detail can be discussed in the lounge.
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@Dragoon He was being pedantic. I misspelled his name.
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@Zenith If I had a cubicle, I would pin this on the wall.
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@jinpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zenith If I had a cubicle, I would pin this on the wall.
Order as stickers and put it everywhere in the flex office.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
<>So you're saying that "boating accidents" are a bad idea. Duly noted. </>
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
From the " did I just read"-department:
The headline speaks for itself:
"Attack in Öjendorf's Park in Hamburg: Man exposes himself and attacks a woman with a dead seagull
[...] in order to escape from the police, he jumped into the nearest lake and tried to swim away."AKA: Monday in Florida
You mean: that guy was a tourist from Florida?
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@jinpa said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Richard Kimball
Richard Kimball
Member of the Arizona Corporation Commission
In office
January 1983 – September 1985
Preceded by Jim Weeks
Succeeded by Sharon Megdal
Member of the Arizona Senate
from the 21st district
In office
1979–1983
Preceded by Timothy D. Hayes
Succeeded by Carl J. Kunasek
Personal details
Born 1946 (age 75–76)
Political party Democratic Bussy Party
Alma mater University of Arizona
Profession Activist
PoliticianPhoenix also has a chiropractor named Dr Frank Sinatra. And we used to have a business called Dave Clark Auto Electric, but they closed down. I guess they felt bad all over.
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@aitap said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I can't remember where I heard this, but it's very good advice: "If your escape plan involves a body of water, you should come up with a new plan."
Yes! Thank you.
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@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@PleegWat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Lowest traffic of the day it takes me 10 mins to travel 3.7 miles.
My bicycle doesn't go quite that fast.
22.2 mph / 35.7 kph is readily attainable. Git gud.
On a racing bicycle, sure. And then you'll arrive all sweaty.
I used to get up to 34 mph on my mountain bike on the streets; but then I wasn't an asshole who dressed "business" riding a fucking bike...
Anyways funny... funny... how about gas?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I used to get up to 34 mph on my mountain bike on the streets;
Downhill?
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I used to get up to 34 mph on my mountain bike on the streets
The road bypassing my home village was freshly paved. On that steep downhill part, I did 72 km/h (45 mph) last sunday.
( there's a speed limit of 50 km/h indicated by speed limit signs, which are also valid for bicycles...)
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I used to get up to 34 mph on my mountain bike on the streets;
Downhill?
I got up to 52mph downhill once. Might have been higher, but I wasn't going to glance down at that point.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I used to get up to 34 mph on my mountain bike on the streets;
Downhill?
Holy shit. Downhill I must've been above 40mph a few times. One time I tried a turnaround at that speed and what fucked it up was the pedals hitting the ground from banking. Then I was badly injured.
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@JBert
TFW you find this awesome image and you need to share it with all the cool people you know, but you can't remember exactly where you found it...
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Not sure where to post this so I'll just post it here.
Someone sent me this photo:
This photo is taken on the junction between Ice House Street and Des Voeux Rd Central.
See the blue signs in the photo? This road only permit to drive forward to continue on Ice House Street on weekdays, and then can only turn right to Des Voeux Rd Central on weekends. And the direction of the blue sign will be rotated manually by 2 teams of traffic police on roster to indicate the correct traffic flow.
Sometimes when the responsible police forgotten to change (especially common after public holidays), the drivers will be forced to drive in ways violating the road sign.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I used to get up to 34 mph on my mountain bike on the streets;
Downhill?
There really isn't much in the way of hills where I live, gotta go much further that I'd be willing to go on a bike before that happens.
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@cheong said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not sure where to post this so I'll just post it here.
The Driving Antipatterns dread would have been the best fit.
@cheong said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
This road only permit to drive forward to continue on Ice House Street on weekdays, and then can only turn right to Des Voeux Rd Central on weekends.
Why? Just Why? Did they miss it was the first of April in the town hall when this was suggested?
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The Driving Antipatterns dread
Some of those drivers certainly do induce a feeling of dread in nearby drivers and pedestrians.
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@cheong said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Not sure where to post this so I'll just post it here.
The Driving Antipatterns dread would have been the best fit.
@cheong said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
This road only permit to drive forward to continue on Ice House Street on weekdays, and then can only turn right to Des Voeux Rd Central on weekends.
Why? Just Why? Did they miss it was the first of April in the town hall when this was suggested?
On weekends the road ahead will be blocked for pedestrian use only (blue cross-shaped area on the right of the map), therefore the drivers have to turn right and reroute. No turning left because Des Voeux Rd Central is also a one-way street that traffics can only go eastbound.
The definition of those pedestrian areas:
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Fucking Pakistan International Airlines!
The Fat Shaming thread is
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Fucking Pakistan International Airlines!
The Fat Shaming thread is
However, you can still do so here if that's your kink.