Zenith
@Zenith
Best posts made by Zenith
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What a strange exchange.
My mind is still reeling from this exchange.
Hello,
I received your info from one of the job boards and I was wondering if you are still in the market for a Sr. Dev lead?
If you are, please send me your resume.
Thank you
Wanda Tracy FallenarchesReceived my info from "the job boards." But needs my resume. Because it;'s not on "the job boards?" Well, I was in a mood, so I sent both my resume and my newly minted buzzword manifesto.
Good evening,
Would you be able to call me first thing in the morning to discuss this opportunity?
Thank you
Wanda Tracy Fallenarches
555-867-5309Now I'm a little concerned. This person is expecting me to call them? So I look up the domain. Same as her last name. It's a WordPress template site. Couple stock photos of smiling hipsters in an open office plan and not much else.
Still in a mood, so I don't call ion the morning but the afternoon. And the hits keep coming.
She has a phone that, when she drives, loses all volume. I am getting three words, some squeaks, three words, some squeaks, and so on. She starts asking me what I think of the position description that she never sent. I tell her that I have no information other than this e-mail from out of the blue. Now it's a front end engineer. And uses banking software that she's surprised I don't know of. After some questions about .NET, now it's Javascript UI modernization. What libraries? Oh, you know, JavaScript. Like, yknow, whatever and junk.
Now at this point, I've totally lost interest. This woman hasn't looked at the resume she asked for and doesn't know anything about what's going on. Now she needs my e-mail to send me a job description. Because she somehow e-mailed me twice without seeing my e-mail? So I told her I don't know, I just used webmail to reply, maybe there is a reply button she can use. I can't believe my tone is not coming through over the phone though I still don't expect to see anything.
Five minutes later, she calls me back. Did I see the e-mail? No. Wait five minutes. Now it's here. OK, this sounds a little more coherent.
Now she's confused about which resume to look at, ZenithResume.doc or ZenithResumeColorBuzz.doc (yes, I named them that). Now there's confusion over what I do, which evolves into, somehow, that I lack experience. I didn't put what specific versions of .NET on every line and what JScript framework on every line so I have somehow not recently done any development. Lots of "uh" and "like" and "I hear ya bro" and "maybe." Asks what I want to do. I want to do desktop development or backend development. I don't want to learn a new JavaScript framework every other day to rewrite the same commodity front end over and over and over with half the functionality of the previous versions. "Oh, but that's how the industry is, they want people that can keep up with shifting dynamics and trending opportunities" (said totally without sarcasm).
Suddenly, the talk shifts to clouds. I have used Azure, a little. I understand that a cloud is just a server at a Microsoft data center versus a server on the 3rd floor of my building. What have I been using it for? Oh, machine learning, artificial intelligence, market strategy analysis, you know, that sort of stuff. What frameworks do I use? What do you mean framework? There's an Azure console to set up databases and firewalls and file stores. Yeah but what frameworks? I don't understand what you mean. Well strategic shifting of resources in transitioning. Shouldn't your operations director being laying out that roadmap? Well all engineers have a cloud framework they like for developing projects in the cloud. Oh, well, I don't, I just use Azure. OK, maybe UI engineer postings are a poor fit. Yep, I agree, thanks.
Then another development description, a solicitation for another copy of my resume, and a LinkedIn friend request show up in my mailbox.
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RE: What users say versus what they mean
At my previous job, where I was a DBA, "something is wrong with the database" could mean any, or all, of the following:
- The Indians did not close, and thus ran out of, socket handles.
- A record that did not exist was not found.
- A query that updates 500 million rows for lack of a where clause is still running. In production. Three days later.
- A job that has always run on Thursday morning did not run on Monday night.
- The server is out of disk space. Again.
- 7zip was deleted (it launched from powershell concatenated by a batch script concatenated by an agent job kicked off by a Windows app with command line arguments kicked off by the Windows scheduler).
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RE: Things that remind you of WDTWTF members
@Polygeekery's fire truck doesn't put fires out; it delivers them:
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RE: Do people actually like poor quality user interfaces?
@levicki That's my take on it too. We've suffered a series of bozo explosions where I work. The answer to every problem is "let's hire another manager (or five)" and none of them can even ask a halfway intelligent question.
This application that only 30 people in our bureau use crashes several times a day.
I am being thinking not enough Windows. Do the needful and buy more servers with purple monkey dishwater.
1 OK.
2 Excellent work Pajeet.
3 So, you're saying, we should do the needful?
4 Is 8 enough Windows or should we do 10?
5 I like orange. Does it come in orange?
6 Electric yellow in the brain banana.
7 zzzzzzzzz
Here's the actual problem. They're not closing sockets, so it's leaking memory until it crashes. If we change these eight lines, we can actually decommission all of the additional servers they had us rent last time this issue came up.
7 You're really starting to piss people off.
Latest posts made by Zenith
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@topspin said in The Official Status Thread:
@Zenith said in The Official Status Thread:
I just got an e-mail from Hyland Software's onboarding team.
Might be a typo from Hyderabad Software's onboarding team.
Honestly, the most plausible explanation that I could come up with was that one of the many worthless recruiters that has gotten copies of my resume over the years gave it to an H1B that forgot to change the e-mail address.
Edit: For context, Hyland was bought by vulture capitalists a few years ago and has been doing alot of layoffs in Ohio that coincidentally coincide with hiring in India.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Well this is weird. I just got an e-mail from Hyland Software's onboarding team. Yeah...I haven't applied there for years and I certainly didn't get the job. So why the fuck are they welcoming me to #hylandlife?
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Voted 18 times against David Zaslav as if it'll make any difference.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:
@Zenith said in The Official Status Thread:
So much demoralization porn on YouTube
Huh. I just get music videos, Lego videos and the occasional Colin Furze bit of madness. The algorithm's worked out that I never click on anything else I guess...
My feed is toy reviews, fallout from Ghostbusters 2016, get rich quick schemes, and economic doom. All I really went to YouTube for on a regular basis was toy reviews by a guy wearing a skull mask and the Plinket Star Wars reviews. Clicked one Nerdrotic video that looked interesting and BLAM in came all the demoralization porn, from Kathleen Kennedy Makes the Muppet Babies Gay to Digital Dollars and the Great Taking.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: So much demoralization porn on YouTube. Want to start a business? Great! Don't make, sell, or deliver anything. Don't use a platform or occupy space in the real world. And don't put any money in upfront. That rules out everything, even prostitution, so just die already.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Awesome. Ship my totes upside fucking down so I have to return half of them due to breakage. Amazingly, not the lids this time, but most of the handles and loops the handles clip onto. Good thing I have broken lids that I can send back since returns are trashed anyway.
FedEx warehouses must be a big game of nuclear-powered bumper cars. I never have this much trouble with full totes bouncing around in a box truck between shows. Damn it, I can never get in front of this because the failure rate of these shippers dictates I order five figures worth at once just to get enough undamaged ones to work with at any given time.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Is this part of the Delivery Distortion Field?
Used to be "your item is shipped" and "your item is out for delivery" were separate statuses. The former was when it left the supplier and the latter when it loaded onto the local UPS/FedEx truck (in other words, out for delivery). Now it's like they trigger alerts at the same time, you think "oh boy my item will be here today!" and then see it says it's expected to arrive next week. Assholes.
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RE: The Official Status Thread
Status: Somebody must've fat-fingered the sale end date at Iris. Looks like the code expired 4-8-2025 instead of 5-8-2025 as displayed on the front page. Well at least I got one order in, even if they are dragging their feet on getting it shipped.
On the upside, I discovered I had more cases already here to work with. Turns out I stacked a bunch of stuff on top of two cases of the 19qts and stacked some empty 30qts along with some cardboard boxes I just tossed. So later this week I should have some real open space to work in. Then more Monday if Lowes delivers as expected and more whenever Iris gets around to it.
Also had a chance to look at the smashed scanner and it looks like the glass was just held in by double-sided tape. Lowes supposedly cuts glass so I may be able to salvage the scanner. That would be great if so.
Status (yesterday): Really wanted to play the Konami X-Men arcade game online instead of unpacking the retro arcade cabinet in the midst of this chaos but I cannot find an emulator site that plays it without extremely choppy audio.
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RE: I Hate Jira Because ...
@Bulb ServiceHow pulls the same bullshit where it takes forever to load only for 90% of every page to make another AJAX call that also takes forever anyway and before you know it 20 minutes have evaporated.