The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
German - a language where "I love you" sounds like an execution order.
And "you have me" sounds very close to "you hate me". Makes consoling people hard.
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@Gąska I wouldn't. For most, it's a learned skill.
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Filed under: In practice, I've found this is a great way to turn your best-liked song into your most-hated song.
Lying around in the dark while listening to an alarm is . The alarms that gradually light up before sounding are a great invention.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska I wouldn't. For most, it's a learned skill.
I envy people who are able to learn waking up. I tried for 25 years and still can't.
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My alarm clock died today. Third one this year. Wtf is wrong with those things.
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My alarm clock died today. Third one this year. Wtf is wrong with those things.
A mechanical clock, I presume?
Did you remember to maintain it regularly? Which lubricant did you use? The soft plastic gears require regular lubrication, or they'll chew themselves apart when pushing the alarm activation lever.
Sigh... I suppose they're not meant for regular use anyway. The whole product category is probably kept alive by some cold-war leftover legislation to make sure there's timers available for commando use, or something. So they're built disposable.
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My alarm clock died today. Third one this year. Wtf is wrong with those things.
Stop buying Chinesium crap?
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Did you remember to maintain it regularly? Which lubricant did you use? The soft plastic gears require regular lubrication, or they'll chew themselves apart when pushing the alarm activation lever.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My alarm clock died today. Third one this year. Wtf is wrong with those things.
A mechanical clock, I presume?
No, electronic "radio clock".
Which lubricant did you use?
That's a rather lounge question.
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Stop buying Chinesium crap?
Philips, Braun, AEG.
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@MrL weird. My electronic but analog radio-controlled clock has lasted at least two decades now. Even the batteries I've put in say "use before 2018", meaning they've been in there for at least 5 or so years.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Did you remember to maintain it regularly? Which lubricant did you use? The soft plastic gears require regular lubrication, or they'll chew themselves apart when pushing the alarm activation lever.
Cheap chinese mechanical clocks last more than a year if (and only if) you actually do maintenance on them. Of course, they're glued/stamped shut, and not meant to be maintainable.
I'd call it "planned obsolescence", if I thought that someone actually plans it out, instead of indiscriminately cheaping out on the plastic.
@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My alarm clock died today. Third one this year. Wtf is wrong with those things.
A mechanical clock, I presume?
No, electronic "radio clock".
What was the mode of failure, exactly?
I notice that a lot of battery-powered objects (especially toys) don't have any kind of low-voltage cut-off. So, when they have low batteries, they start acting wonky. Slurred music. Suddenly skipping tracks. Even "ghost" button presses; a toy car just starts singing in the middle of the night, after being left standing upright on a table, i.e. no chance of accidental external activation.
I've "fixed" a lot of toys by simply changing the batteries. My wife was ready to throw some of them to garbage, as they were "obviously broken".
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Stop buying Chinesium crap?
Philips, Braun, AEG.
Yes, that's Chinesium, unless you bought them before 1970.
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@topspin As with most cheap-and-basic products, I think this kind of things only has two possible life-spans: either it breaks down after you used it a couple of times (or even less than that in some cases), or it just seems to last forever.
I had both happen. I remember once I bought a cheap alarm clock in an airport (so not so cheap... ) and it barely made it through the trip (and return), and then I immediately bought another similarly cheap one that lasted for years even though the flimsy plastic casing broke in several places and it was help by tape.
I also had a alarm-clock-radio on my nightstand for years. I got it as a kid, it went through all my uni years and later, and only broke down in an accident (at one point I used a desktop lamp with a fairly big and hot bulb as bedside lamp, and one day, or rather one evening, a girl and myself decided that we wanted a softer light so I flexed and turned the lamp to hide most of its light, and since we were both far too busy for the rest of the night to pay attention to the lamp, it's only the next day that I noticed it was too close to the alarm clock and had melted the plastic casing...).
(I also had -- and still have, actually -- that lamp for years, and when I was a kid I used its hot bulb to melt, or at least soften enough that I could bend them, some plastic items e.g. rulers into various shapes)
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What was the mode of failure, exactly?
Philips - started acting wonky (not turning on, alarm super silent, etc), but it's an old unit, so I don't blame Philips really.
Braun - alarm going off at random times, not responding to controls.
AEG - alarm doesn't turn off in any normal way, keeps screaming forever, until you disconnect it and take out batteries.It seems that buying an alarm clock that supports setting more than one alarm, is loud and doesn't look like shit is not possible. Not if you want it to last more than 3 months at least.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Yes, that's Chinesium, unless you bought them before 1970.
In the 1970ies, production was typically moved to spain and portugal - then new countries in the european union (without industrial tradition, so quality... but when you sold products at the old price, profits went up).
Only later, production was moved to east asia, that is hong kong, taiwan, korea, japan etc. And even later only to china.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin "Koham cie".
Compare to "ich liebe dich". With German accent.
"Koham" is pronounced almost like German "kochen" (to cook).
Now that we are in the kitchen, let's have better fun and add some pepper:
pieprz!Though @Tsaukpaetra is extremely interested in their correct english equivalent, he may mix up "piss da" with some way of releaving an urge from his bladder.
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Yes, that's Chinesium, unless you bought them before 1970.
In the 1970ies, production was typically moved to spain and portugal - then new countries in the european union (without industrial tradition, so quality... but when you sold products at the old price, profits went up).
Only later, production was moved to east asia, that is hong kong, taiwan, korea, japan etc. And even later only to china.Exactly. No matter the name, quality has been on the decline since 1970. So if you're buying a mechanical clock, make sure it's from the '60s.
Of course, the war-time production had to skimp on materials. And 1920 were too drunk to manufacture anything straight.
So, for the most lasting, quality clocks, shop for a pre-1789 piece.
</joke>
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Now that I have a smartwatch, my alarm is coming from my wrist. Wonder how long until my body learns to dismiss it in my sleep. It did learn to disable the alarm clock next to my bed.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A mechanical clock […] The soft plastic gears
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@Atazhaia said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Now that I have a smartwatch, my alarm is coming from my wrist. Wonder how long until my body learns to dismiss it in my sleep. It did learn to disable the alarm clock next to my bed.
That's why I need a very loud and sudden alarm. I must be yanked brutally from my sleep, or I'll turn the clock off without realising it.
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I must be yanked brutally from my sleep
Solution:
https://youtu.be/EVzn1pl4nlo
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It seems that buying an alarm clock that supports setting more than one alarm, is loud and doesn't look like shit is not possible. Not if you want it to last more than 3 months at least.
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@hungrier I have a working bladder.
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@Zecc And as any man with a will tell you, it gets more and more efficient at waking you with time.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
And "you have me" sounds very close to "you hate me".
Always thought those where synonyms in German.
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Philips, Braun, AEG.
Chinesium with an expensive badge then
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Zecc And as any man with a will tell you, it gets more and more efficient at waking you with time.
Often, multiple times.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I notice that a lot of battery-powered objects (especially toys) don't have any kind of low-voltage cut-off. So, when they have low batteries, they start acting wonky. Slurred music. Suddenly skipping tracks. Even "ghost" button presses; a toy car just starts singing in the middle of the night,
My car does that. When the battery voltage is low — which it is pretty frequently, since I don't drive it enough to keep it charged, due to pandemic — and I turn the ignition on, the headlights turn on even if the switch is off, the hazard flashers turn on of their own accord, the radio turns on even though I just turned it off, and sometimes the heater fan turns on. All of which drain the already low battery further, just when I am trying to conserve the limited battery power so I can use it to turn the starter.
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What have we done?
From The Devil's Panties
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@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It seems that buying an alarm clock that supports setting more than one alarm, is loud and doesn't look like shit is not possible. Not if you want it to last more than 3 months at least.
You can have my junky Android phone. It works perfectly for an alarm, and looks decent enough for a device I expect to interact with at most for 1 minute per day.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@MrL said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It seems that buying an alarm clock that supports setting more than one alarm, is loud and doesn't look like shit is not possible. Not if you want it to last more than 3 months at least.
You can have my junky Android phone. It works perfectly for an alarm, and looks decent enough for a device I expect to interact with at most for 1 minute per day.
Phones are not loud enough, they need a charger, they don't display time (laying flat).
I just want a normal digital alarm clock
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@MrL Here's a solution to all your problems:
- a wireless charger that holds up the device at an angle
- a phone that supports wireless charging
With this one, if you're clever you may be able to use a wireless charger that lays flat, and just have the phone folded halfway - this bluetooth speaker, which I may or may not have found by searching for "most expensive bluetooth speaker"
- a wireless charger that holds up the device at an angle
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@hungrier said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@MrL Here's a solution to all your problems:
- a wireless charger that holds up the device at an angle
- a phone that supports wireless charging
With this one, if you're clever you may be able to use a wireless charger that lays flat, and just have the phone folded halfway - this bluetooth speaker, which I may or may not have found by searching for "most expensive bluetooth speaker"
- Hey guys, I want x, which should I get?
- Spend 1000£ more and get something completely differentFiled under: my favorite parts of internet
- a wireless charger that holds up the device at an angle
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Second violates "doesn't look like shit" requirement.
Firts one doesn't open.
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@MrL weird. My electronic but analog radio-controlled clock has lasted at least two decades now. Even the batteries I've put in say "use before 2018", meaning they've been in there for at least 5 or so years.
Yeah, my analog radio alarm clock worked for 23 years before it finally gave up the ghost.
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@Dragoon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@MrL weird. My electronic but analog radio-controlled clock has lasted at least two decades now. Even the batteries I've put in say "use before 2018", meaning they've been in there for at least 5 or so years.
Yeah, my analog radio alarm clock worked for 23 years before it finally gave up the ghost.
My analog, mechanical, non-electric, non-battery alarm clock has all metal parts. I mean, everything except the clear face protecting the hands. Not a speck of plastic.
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@HardwareGeek said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My car does that. When the battery voltage is low — which it is pretty frequently, since I don't drive it enough to keep it charged, due to pandemic — and I turn the ignition on, the headlights turn on even if the switch is off, the hazard flashers turn on of their own accord, the radio turns on even though I just turned it off, and sometimes the heater fan turns on. All of which drain the already low battery further, just when I am trying to conserve the limited battery power so I can use it to turn the starter.
The same thing happened to me once, except that I had no idea it was due to the battery. Which meant I wasted several hours randomly fiddling with it and looking up stuff on the internet without a clue. I was getting more and more annoyed, because it also didn't start (not surprisingly, since the battery was low!) and thus I couldn't get it to a garage and tell them to have a look, I would have had to call a tow truck and that would have costed a lot, which in hindsight I would have hated even more when I would have been told it just was the battery... In the end I charged up the battery mostly because that was something I could easily do and couldn't really harm, and was relieved to discover that this was the cause of all the problems.
I then changed the battery and discovered at that point that the battery that came with it (second hand car... I'm not saying the dealer who sold it to me skimped on the battery when checking the car, but I'm also not saying that he didn't...) was actually too small for the car, so it's no wonder it got drained so easily!
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@xaade said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@TimeBandit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Turns out, they added the u, we didn't take it away.
So it's their own damn fault.
That just illustrates why it's better to follow the standard rather than creating an outdated fork. You need to upgrade to the latest version, or at least merge the latest changes in.
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
was actually too small for the car
I often see people that, when replacing the car battery, get the smallest one because it's cheaper.
Usually, it's working fine for starting the car in the summer.You know what happen when winter comes and it gets to -20° Celsius?
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
German - a language where "I love you" sounds like an execution order.
A friend of mine told me about this one time when he was in high school, he was dating a German exchange student. He ended up dumping her because she just would not stop whispering sexy things in his ear in German, and she never could seem to understand why this was a massive turnoff for him.
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@boomzilla I recognize that avatar from this I saw earlier today:
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I recognize that avatar
Did Pakalu Papito change his name or is there another Twitter account with the same avatar and very similar humour style?
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It looks more like Critter from Book Of Unwritten Tales.
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