The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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A bit late but still relevant:
Next, someone go wake up Billie Joe.
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Read the thread
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Read the thread
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@boomzilla Reminds me of the joke about the old woman who calls the old man:
: You should be careful when driving home, I just heard on the news there's a maniac on the highway who's driving on the wrong side of the road.
: Only one? There are hundreds of them!
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@HardwareGeek I've had a mug of espresso once. Drank it over a course of an hour or so. I was literally shaking for the rest of the day and couldn't think straight.
So espresso makes you woke?
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@Carnage I always make my coffee with water that turns frogs gay.
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@topspin Update!!!111!
(or I just read it a few hours later than you...)
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Carnage I always make my coffee with water that turns frogs gay.
You piece of shit. You fucking goddamn fucker. Listen fuckhead, you've fucking crossed a line.
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Couldn't resist posting this, it gets bonus points for being a photo of a screen.
Edit: Fuck I just realised I missed an opportunity to print it and take a photo of it on a wooden table.
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@DoctorJones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Edit: Fuck I just realised I missed an opportunity to print it and take a photo of it on a wooden table.
Shame!
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@DoctorJones On a similar note, one of the
client
s my company has made software for used [lastname][firstinitial] for their usernames, and I would sometimes joke that the whole thing could come crashing down if they ever hired Nathan Admi.
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I've wanted a parrot to that I could teach to swear. But they live like 70s that's more responsibility than a child.
Maybe I can older one. Though, I think my husband would divorce me over it.
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Well, if you just want a bird to teach swear words, Cockatiels have no problem swearing and they have a much shorter life span (30ish years)
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@Karla Parrots are very smart.
A friend had a parrot which would imitate the mailman arriving, including his motorbike's engine and brakes and calling out "mail!". It fooled her frequently.
It would also imitate her calling her dogs at feeding time, then imitate laughter when they came and became confused with the lack of food.
Nearby was a cafe with a parrot near its entrance which would greet newcomers with "welcome!" and people leaving with "hey you, have you payed?"
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Karla Parrots are very smart.
A friend had a parrot which would imitate the mailman arriving, including his motorbike's engine and brakes and calling out "mail!". It fooled her frequently.
It would also imitate her calling her dogs at feeding time, then imitate laughter when they came and became confused with the lack of food.
Nearby was a cafe with a parrot near its entrance which would greet newcomers with "welcome!" and people leaving with "hey you, have you payed?"
That's why I want one.
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I've wanted a parrot to that I could teach to swear. But they live like 70s that's more responsibility than a child.
Maybe I can older one. Though, I think my husband would divorce me over it.
Heh...some people down the street from us got parrots this year (or moved in, not sure but they showed up this Spring). They often put the birds outside during the day and you can hear them all over the neighborhood. I suspect Winter is going to suck for them when they can't let them out for some quiet time.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Carnage I always make my coffee with water that turns frogs gay.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/j2l2dh/flushing_a_countryside_toilet/
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@DoctorJones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Edit: Fuck I just realised I missed an opportunity to print it and take a photo of it on a wooden table.
You've been here long enough. You should know the proper procedure.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Carnage I always make my coffee with water that turns frogs gay.
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/j2l2dh/flushing_a_countryside_toilet/
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/j2ltd4/camera_smile/
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/j2l2dh/flushing_a_countryside_toilet/Why am I reminded of the claw-machine aliens in the original Toy Story?
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@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DoctorJones said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I need one that says "70.85.67.75 off".
What is the significance of those numbers?
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@Tsaukpaetra ASCII letter codes seem to fit nicely.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
What is the significance of those numbers?
E: 'd. @obeselymorbid , weren't you supposed to attend to the topic only after two years!?
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@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
E: 'd. @obeselymorbid , weren't you supposed to attend to the topic only after two years!?
There are two kinds of topics: the ones I read in an order that is rather complicated to describe but usually results in me reading very old threads, and the topics I'm watching where I'm reading new posts as soon as they appear. The funny stuff belongs to the latter kind.
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https://imgur.com/gallery/au5j3Wy
I Blue Speed Mouse and A-Lad-In a Costume.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
https://imgur.com/gallery/au5j3Wy
I Blue Speed Mouse and A-Lad-In a Costume.
What I feel is missing is "We Resemble-But-Are-Legally-Distinct-From the Lollipop Guild".
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@obeselymorbid said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
E: 'd. @obeselymorbid , weren't you supposed to attend to the topic only after two years!?
There are two kinds of topics: the ones I read
in an order that is rather complicated to describe but usually results in me reading very old threads, and the topics I'm watching where I'm reading new posts as soon as they appear. The funny stuff belongs to the latter kind.and the ones I've finished reading through once, so I can just leave them on watch.FTFY
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@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I need one that says "70.85.67.75 off".
That belongs to SoftLayer Technologies Inc in Dallas already.
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@BernieTheBernie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@GOG said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I need one that says "70.85.67.75 off".
That belongs to SoftLayer Technologies Inc in Dallas already.
What's their line?
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@Karla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Though, I think my husband would divorce me over it
Just do it™
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@loopback0 It's too bad they didn't photograph the entire menu card.
It seems there is more fun to be had in the names of dishes, or that bit at the bottom of how nice kids get a free ice-cream but bad ones get something else.
Up to and including a life membership of the Labour Party.
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A bit of Googl'ing points to this New Zealand restaurant's menu:
http://www.hqviaduct.co.nz/kids-menu/
Sadly it's no longer the same, or the online version is different from the printed copy:
Good kids get a free ice-cream. Bad kids get two cans of coke, 10 teaspoons of sugar, an espresso, a set of permanent markers and a pitbull puppy.
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@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ed: Making excuses for the sorry state of the English language since 1979.
Oh, the English language has been in a sorry state since long before that.
Filed under: Proving your point.
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@error said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@da-Doctah said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Ed: Making excuses for the sorry state of the English language since 1979.
Oh, the English language has been in a sorry state since long before that.
Filed under: Proving your point.
Personally I blame the qwerty keyboard layout for hastening its demise. People nowadays don't even know what an em dash is. It's 1984 come to life. You can't express it if its not in the layout.
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@JBert said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
A bit of Googl'ing points to this New Zealand restaurant's menu:
http://www.hqviaduct.co.nz/kids-menu/
Sadly it's no longer the same, or the online version is different from the printed copy:
Good kids get a free ice-cream. Bad kids get two cans of coke, 10 teaspoons of sugar, an espresso, a set of permanent markers and a pitbull puppy.
Their Tripadvisor page leads to an amusing response to a query about whether they do vegan food or not.