The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@djls45 see edit for actual helpful advice.
Edit: also note there are TWO text-to-speech buttons: one on the left and on on the right. If you can't locate the other button, you can click the button to swap sides.
But if I click swap and use the other text-to-voice button, I still hear "[eɪt ˈnʌɪnti ˈnʌɪnti ˈeɪ.ti nʌɪn]", and I just don't see how that pronunciation could come from "Osiem dziewięćdziesiąt dziewięćdziesiąt osiemdziesiąt dziewięć." The letters just don't match up in any way!
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@djls45 did you just click swap button without being unable to locate the other text-to-speech button!?
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@djls45 did you just click swap button without being unable to locate the other text-to-speech button!?
Um... if I'm understanding the negatives correctly, then yes...?
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My ex is a nice person.
So is mine.
Just not to me.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/535606518075228160/691065006191542313/unknown.png
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@boomzilla This is funnier in languages where "sheet" and "page" use the same word.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba62uuv-5Dc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yltlJEdSAHw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po7RpGzFEIY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57jEMZ87ND8
And the pièce de résistance:
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@Rhywden Always easier to do math with spherical cows in a vacuum.
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@boomzilla They forgot this one:
Then again, that's more of an axe.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla They forgot this one:
Then again, that's more of an axe.
|<polearm|axe>| > 0
in most cases.
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@Rhywden I don't even see a particular difference between, say, fauchard and glaive and voulge. Ok, this one's got the hook, probably to pull riders off the mount, yes? That's like... AR-14 level of knowledge :tro:
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla They forgot this one:
Then again, that's more of an axe.
That's basically just another kind of halberd. It's still pole arm, because it's attached to a pole.
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@Applied-Mediocrity said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden I don't even see a particular difference between, say, fauchard and glaive and voulge. Ok, this one's got the hook, probably to pull riders off the mount, yes? That's like... AR-14 level of knowledge :tro:
Well, there is certainly no sharp boundary between the shapes. Also some terms are more generic than others (anything with an axe blade and a hook or thorn is a halberd, which covers really wide range of designs).
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@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla They forgot this one:
Then again, that's more of an axe.
That's basically just another kind of halberd. It's still pole arm, because it's attached to a pole.
It's a lochaber-axe. It's swung rather differently from the polearms.
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Bulb said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@boomzilla They forgot this one:
Then again, that's more of an axe.
That's basically just another kind of halberd. It's still pole arm, because it's attached to a pole.
It's a lochaber-axe. It's swung rather differently from the polearms.
There's a huge variety of ways the polearms were used. Whole manuals of arms devoted to them. And some were swung like long axes (because that's what they were); others poked, and most did both. Plus more. Historical arms-practices were wack and seriously varied. And the careful categorization we give to them? Nah, they weren't nearly so careful. Lots of things called "sword" (or the equivalent).
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@Rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's a lochaber-axe.
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We are such nerds.
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The Fauchard and Glaive were used interchangeably to describe the same weapon in certain areas, while other ares had them as two distinct weapons. Further, both evolved over the centuries, the original Fauchard (which many believe was derived from the war scythe) was just a simple convex edge version of the war scythe (the war scythe having a concave edge). Later spikes, hooks and other elements were added to the back side of the blade.
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@Dragoon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The Fauchard and Glaive were used interchangeably to describe the same weapon in certain areas, while other ares had them as two distinct weapons. Further, both evolved over the centuries, the original Fauchard (which many believe was derived from the war scythe) was just a simple convex edge version of the war scythe (the war scythe having a concave edge). Later spikes, hooks and other elements were added to the back side of the blade.
And there really wasn't an ISO standard for the naming. Or the construction. People are really really inventive when it comes to making weapons to kill other people with
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@Benjamin-Hall Also remember that no-one "invented" each specific weapon. They just evolved from the most basic design (something pointy or otherwise nasty at the end of a stick), in whichever way local people made them with what they had at hand (or didn't) and what they knew (or didn't). Two warriors (or peasants-turned-forced-warriors, which is how much of these originated i.e. cobbled-together weapons from agricultural hardware and basic skills...) in the same band might have two slightly different weapons, just because they were made differently. Then a few centuries later, we get early writers describing them, but even for them the names didn't matter as much as how to use them (or defend against them), so they'd just use whatever word made sense to them, which might vary from one city to the next.
Add to that the fact that many of the examples that are still visible today in museums are not actual weapons used on the field of battle, but modern period display versions used for parading or honour guards or gifts etc., so probably more ornate than "real" ones.
And to top it up, add a dollop of contemporary geeks (RPG manuals...) trying to apply exact scientific categorisation to the product of wildly fluctuating human nature, and you get those weird and nonsensical classification of something that never should have been broken down into classes at all.
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Also remember that no-one "invented" each specific weapon. They just evolved from the most basic design (something pointy or otherwise nasty at the end of a stick), in whichever way local people made them with what they had at hand (or didn't) and what they knew (or didn't). Two warriors (or peasants-turned-forced-warriors, which is how much of these originated i.e. cobbled-together weapons from agricultural hardware and basic skills...)
"I only gots this hammer. But I can't reach those knights with it."
"We got these axes. But they got spears, so we can't reach them. And they run us over with the horses. Wish I had a spear too."
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"Hey. there's some trees. Let's add longer handles."
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"Well, now I hit the knight. But he still rode over us. The hammer just bounced off."
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"Hey, blacksmith, can you add some sharp to this hammer?"
"That's one long hammer."
"Yeah. Gotta reach those horse-riding jerks."
"Okay. You want the sharp on the top, or on the side?"
"Can I have both?"
"Do you have 2 coins?"
"Yes."
"Then yes, you can."
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@acrow
I think medieval blacksmiths just put out new features to increase their seasonal sales.
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@Luhmann "Buy your halberds from Erkki's! Now with 25% more spikes! 6-foot handle standard!"
...I don't know. Seems a bit lacking. And the serfs used whatever they had. as mentioned earlier. They didn't buy new ones.
Then again generals outfitting armies may have sprung for the intimidation value. We're talking of the same bright minds that thought marching towards the enemy in a straight row with bayonets attached was a good idea (back in World War 1).
"Scare them out of their wits with the relentlessly approaching cold steel, and then stab them through with your rifle-attached knife."
...The machine-guns were not impressed.
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@acrow said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Luhmann "Buy your halberds from Erkki's! Now with 25% more spikes! 6-foot handle standard!"
...I don't know. Seems a bit lacking. And the serfs used whatever they had. as mentioned earlier. They didn't buy new ones.
But they probably remade shafts every so often (it's just a bit of wood), and even likely reforged/sharpened the heads fairly often as well. So you just need to adapt your advertisement material to your target market: "Keep your halberd up-to-date at Erkki's! For a limited time only, a free spike added for every sharpening! Terms and conditions apply, offer limited to one weapon per person, offer invalid for children under the age of 6, women and horses, offer may be retracted at any time if local lord objects, if your shaft stays hard for more than 4 hours afterwards consult your local witch, disembowelment of enemies not guaranteed, see
websitescroll for full sales conditions and exclusions."Then again generals outfitting armies may have sprung for the intimidation value. We're talking of the same bright minds that thought marching towards the enemy in a straight row with bayonets attached was a good idea (back in World War 1).
I don't think they really relied on the weapons for intimidation. It's well before there were organised battle lines, and infantry anyway was just here to plug the gaps between knights. They probably cared more about them making a lot of noise and sounding determined, than having weird-and-scary looking weapons.
Some of the first proper battle lines (since the Roman armies) were pike-men (e.g. Low Countries militias and later Tercio), and these used very simple weapons compared to halberds, vouge etc. The pike is one of the most basic thing you can imagine (and one of the most effective against knights!).
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HERE'S SOME FUNNY STUFF
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@loopback0 And just for those who have trouble recognizing the bottom two gents, here's how they looked when they were younger.
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@JBert DA DA DA DA
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@loopback0 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
HERE'S SOME FUNNY STUFF
I recognize Bootleg Donald Trump, but who1 are the other two guys?
Fake edit: fake d
1Actual edit
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
It's well before there were organised battle lines
Infantry formations have been in use since ancient times and in all cases the foundation was some kind of a shield wall, though it looked differently in various instances e.g. Greek phalanx standing shoulder to shoulder and braced by the lines behind them vs. Roman legion leaving some room for each soldier to manoeuvre on their own unless they really needed to close all gaps and became testudos.
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@Bulb Already covered in my previous post:
Some of the first proper battle lines (since the Roman armies)
Medieval (European) armies had since long lost the military organisation to build those battle lines, in part because of the reliance on cavalry (i.e. knights!), with all the prestige and symbolic linked to it. Romans and Greeks had structured infantry formations because they were armies of "citizens" (quite literally in some cases!), so the infantry was the core of the army and properly organised as such, with specific tactics and equipment. By contrast, medieval armies were considered as a group of professional warriors (knights) with some accompanying footmen -- even if footmen probably always outnumbered mounted fighters and likely played a much larger role in most battles than historical accounts say, but they were always considered as second, if not third, rate.
It's only with the emergence in the 12th-13th century of semi-independent cities (in particular in the Low Countries) that proper infantry formations reappear -- and by no coincidence, these are again (initially) thought of not as a professional warrior class, but as armies of citizens! (there is an interesting link between military and social structures...) They win successes early on (battle of the golden spurs in 1302) but it's still a couple of centuries, and the emergence of firearms, until they become the norm again.
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
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@topspin Hey, no one mentioned the C++ standard yet!
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@remi said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
battle of the golden spurs in 1302
/me start singing the regional anthem
they won in 1302 mostly because they knowingly or by luck used the terrain, to slow down the cavalry charge and maybe more importantly because of hubris on the French side, they didn't lay siege on the Flemish lines first using bowmen like some French nobles proposed but just went full on expecting the other side to cave easily.
After that win they lost all other battles there after (and the war).
Also the golden spurs part is most likely based on a French excuse when they destroyed the city of Kortrijk a few years later.
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This post is deleted!
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@Mason_Wheeler said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
"...and in the morning, I'm makin' waffles!"
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Now say again that working remotely with a team of 29 people is impossible...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9E6iHZ5bb6U
Brought to you by the Serbian National Theatre Orchestra.