The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@chozang This isn't funny? The stone itself is the weirdest part - it's not brittle-seeming, more like oily, but I can't scratch it with anything I can find. Funniest damn shade of green. And now it turns out I have no idea what the name attached to it is supposed to be. And I can't even come close to reading this inscription.
That stone sounds like a soapstone, which is commonly used for carvings. If it's really hard, maybe serpentine (a metamorphosis of soapstone without the talc). Could be jade, but jade is pricey.
This carving is soapstone.
This one is serpentine:
and this is jade
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@Benjamin-Hall Mohs >9?
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@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall Mohs >9?
I can't find anything reasonable at that hardness. That's corundum (ruby/sapphire) levels.
The three I linked range from about 5-7 mohs.
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@Benjamin-Hall said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gribnit said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Benjamin-Hall Mohs >9?
I can't find anything reasonable at that hardness. That's corundum (ruby/sapphire) levels.
The three I linked range from about 5-7 mohs.
Maybe I should bury this in the woods.
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I want this to be real.
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@DogsB I don't judge but 16 million is a tad too much.
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I want this to be real.
I have the other 92 billion pics of women's genitalia. Seems all the boobs were left alone...
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@Tsaukpaetra Hit up Indian folks on Facebook and you could make a living selling people pictures of bobs and vegana.
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@DogsB said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I want this to be real.
Not the hero we need, but the hero we deserve.
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@stillwater said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@DogsB I don't judge but 16 million is a tad too much.
So . . . 14 million would be OK? (asking for a friend).
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@El_Heffe Too low.
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@anonymous234 That's terrible. The cat must be freakin out.
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@topspin no vegana, classic oral fixation, (clucks tongue disapprovingly)
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@stillwater
Yeah look at that tail going!
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@Tsaukpaetra Imgur's 404 page is funny, I guess.
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@Zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Tsaukpaetra Imgur's 404 page is funny, I guess.
Dammit how even...
Let's try this one:
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Merry Christmas, you fools!
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@topspin you know we’re all getting coal, right?
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@M_Adams said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin you know we’re all getting coal, right?
Oh good. My house will stay warm!
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@M_Adams said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@topspin you know we’re all getting coal, right?
Good. I was getting low on carbon fuels...
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@M_Adams said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you know we’re all getting coal, right?
Hah! I got lots of plastic storage boxes! Just what I wanted…
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@dkf said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@M_Adams said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
you know we’re all getting coal, right?
Hah! I got lots of boxes!
Are you a cat?
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@topspin said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Are you a cat?
No. These ones are too small for anything other than the smallest of kittens.
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@Tsaukpaetra Filed under weird porn? Not judging.
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@Tsaukpaetra said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/253591305781903360/527340088384815114/128072c.jpg
Of course, they couldn't just post a joke alone. No, that's not the Twitter way. You always have to wrap all your jokes in bullshit cover stories that somehow tie it to your life. Bonus points if the story makes you look not like a pretty cool person who made up a funny joke, but rather a fucking idiot who couldn't figure out they have car vents closed.
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@Gąska Uh-oh, it sounds like somebody got coal in his stocking. I prescribe a christmas carol every 4 hours until New Years and an emergency transfusion of eggnog...
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@Gąska wow who pissed in your cereal today?
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@brie because there can be no other reason why I might not like people saying obvious lies when there's absolutely no benefit to lying than that I'm mad at Santa.
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@Gąska Orrrrrrr, the "bullshit cover story" was what actually happened and they added the joke about the vent position icons to make it funny.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
if the story makes you look not like a pretty cool person
This is annoying af. I'll give you that. If you think this is worse you must check out Reddit. It's even worse
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@brie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska Orrrrrrr, the "bullshit cover story" was what actually happened
Does anyone actually believe it? Is forgetting to open the vents so noteworthy that you tweet it out? I think even an absolute attention whore wouldn't do that. The joke is very funny. It absolutely is something you would tweet. It could be tweeted on its own. As such, it is basically guaranteed that the main content is the joke, not the story. So the story was just added on top of a pretty good joke. And because it's structured like a setup, it's very likely it was completely made up. Because people tell jokes regardless of whether they're connected to their lives or not. And the probability they've thought of this joke right after opening the vents after a period of wondering why the air doesn't blow, is miniscule compared to the probability they've thought of it at literally any other moment in their lives.
This bullshit cover story made something genuinely funny, less funny.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Is forgetting to open the vents so noteworthy that you tweet it out?
No, but a funny story about forgetting to open the vents was.
Just let everyone else enjoy the joke... sheesh.
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@brie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Just let everyone else enjoy the joke... sheesh.
Exactly. Let them enjoy it. Don't destroy it with badly made up story.
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@Gąska said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@brie said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@Gąska Orrrrrrr, the "bullshit cover story" was what actually happened
Does anyone actually believe it? Is forgetting to open the vents so noteworthy that you tweet it out? I think even an absolute attention whore wouldn't do that. The joke is very funny. It absolutely is something you would tweet. It could be tweeted on its own. As such, it is basically guaranteed that the main content is the joke, not the story. So the story was just added on top of a pretty good joke. And because it's structured like a setup, it's very likely it was completely made up. Because people tell jokes regardless of whether they're connected to their lives or not. And the probability they've thought of this joke right after opening the vents after a period of wondering why the air doesn't blow, is miniscule compared to the probability they've thought of it at literally any other moment in their lives.
This bullshit cover story made something genuinely funny, less funny.
I thought it was all a setup for the "hey, that looks like an email and bacon symbol" dad joke. Because telling that without the introduction would have been even more awkward.