The Official Funny Stuff Thread™
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@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Pretending for a minute that Robinson Crusoe is a real story
Robinson Crusoe_, which then became the basis for the Swiss Family Robinson.
and Gilligan's Island.
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@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Three of my friends are blissfully happy in their relationships
That's what they tell you.
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@boner said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I would like to compare it to similar tables for Brits and Aussies.
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@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@djls45 said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Pretending for a minute that Robinson Crusoe is a real story
Robinson Crusoe_, which then became the basis for the Swiss Family Robinson.
and Gilligan's Island.
Yeah, but Robinson Crusoe was funnier.
Filed Under:Low-hanging fruit FTW
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@chozang said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Three of my friends are blissfully happy in their relationships
That's what they tell you.
Isn't that the truth. My father was a sky god, fast jet pilot and I asked my mother once what the secret was to their over 30 year marriage. Her answer was was ' He didn't tell me and I didn't ask about any indiscretions!' Trite, but I think that is the secret, proper communication and being able to talk to to your partner about anything. My failures were definitely due to a lack of communication, even if I didn't see is as that at the time.
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@boomzilla The bad jokes thread is
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Spoiler
The green nozzles dispense diesel.
LOL Thank you for the spoiler. I kept seeing this one on FB and not understanding the point. She seemed to handle pumping her gas fine.
Disclaimer: I don't have a license and though I have pumped gas...it was with supervision. I do know diesel is bad for gas cars just didn't know the green nozzle meant anything.
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@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Nothing wrong with the top right picture though.
You don't get to pick which line has less people in front of you when you arrive.
And hoses should be prepared to be pulled as far as that.
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@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Nothing wrong with the top right picture though.
You don't get to pick which line has less people in front of you when you arrive.
And hoses should be prepared to be pulled as far as that.Also, for small stations that don't allow you to pick a side of the pump you want (for example, only one row of pumps accommodating for traffic from both directions) you sometimes have no choice. Most cars have the tank positioned on the side opposite to the driver.
But in case it's originally a car that had the wheel on the opposite side of what your country uses, they mostly just move the wheel but not the tank. So, in case of pretty much all of Europe, driving a Japanese car means you'll do that a lot (I'm not sure if they move the tanks for the US market).
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@rhywden said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
a car rental company
Heard from a person who works in the industry:
Client rents car with full coverage insurance (including, namely, broken windows).
Client forgets wallet in locked car.
You see where this is going...
Client breaks into car, later claiming it's all right because that's covered by the insurance.
Oh, but did I mention that even if the insurance did, for whatever reason, cover intentional damage...
the client had already returned the car and terminated their contract with the rental?The insurance also wouldn't cover the damage you've done to the parking lot you broke into, you dunce!
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most cars have the tank positioned on the side opposite to the driver.
My cars have all been the opposite, maybe manufacturers have a internal preference when they design them.@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
But in case it's originally a car that had the wheel on the opposite side of what your country uses, they mostly just move the wheel but not the tank. So, in case of pretty much all of Europe
Reading is important... That's interesting to know.
I also only found out about this the other day:
I had no idea that was an arrow pointing to the correct side.
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@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Reading is important... That's interesting to know.
From what I heard, this is done to minimize the potential harm to the driver if the tank catches fire / explodes (that's the only logical person to try and protect if it happens while the vehicle is being driven since that's the only person you can count on being in the car). Might be a myth though.
Or it might be to accommodate for pump placements on the pumps, so the pumps can always be in the middle of the station rather than on the side of the road. This is just an asspull I came up with right now though, so...
@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I had no idea that was an arrow pointing to the correct side.
That, however, is a new one for me.
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most cars have the tank positioned on the side opposite to the driver.
Most (all?) of the cars I've owned have been on the same side. Except for the one that was behind the rear license plate.
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Reading is important... That's interesting to know.
From what I heard, this is done to minimize the potential harm to the driver if the tank catches fire / explodes (that's the only logical person to try and protect if it happens while the vehicle is being driven since that's the only person you can count on being in the car). Might be a myth though.
Or it might be to accommodate for pump placements on the pumps, so the pumps can always be in the middle of the station rather than on the side of the road. This is just an asspull I came up with right now though, so...
@cursorkeys said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I had no idea that was an arrow pointing to the correct side.
That, however, is a new one for me.
I heard it dates back to when pumps were typically at the side of the road, so it would always be on the passenger's side.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My best guess at what those numbers might be is average temperatures, where the blue on white are during the day and the white on blue are during the night.
But that wouldn't make sense because that would mean the temperatures beyond Saturday are higher during the night than during the day, so I'm really at a loss.
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@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My best guess at what those numbers might be is average temperatures, where the blue on white are during the day and the white on blue are during the night.
Probably a “feels like” synthetic temperature. Windchill reduces, direct insolation increases.
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@dkf Maybe they're going to stay at home at nights starting next weekend, with proper house insulation.
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@zecc
Or, you know, photoshop, to tie in to the fact that it's stupid cold to make a pop culture joke.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most (all?) of the cars I've owned have been on the same side. Except for the one that was behind the rear license plate.
Onyx is a Euro-man. He knows Euro-cars. Euro-cars frequently have shit on the wrong side.
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@boomzilla That took me a moment... My first thought was 'why was that posted without the rest of the story'! Coffee. I need more.
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@dcon I actually clicked on the "See More" when I first saw it on facebook.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@dcon I actually clicked on the "See More" when I first saw it on facebook.
I clicked it here!
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@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My best guess at what those numbers might be is average temperatures
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most cars have the tank positioned on the side opposite to the driver.
I don't know if I have ever owned a vehicle where it was not on the driver's side.
Maybe the Thunderbird I had way back in the day?
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most (all?) of the cars I've owned have been on the same side. Except for the one that was behind the rear license plate.
@polygeekery said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I don't know if I have ever owned a vehicle where it was not on the driver's side.
USLandia is spechul!
@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Onyx is a Euro-man. He knows Euro-cars. Euro-cars frequently have shit on the wrong side.
We Euro-weenies prefer to have shit coming out or our bottoms, instead of when we speak.
Filed under: quota
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@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Nothing wrong with the top right picture though.
You don't get to pick which line has less people in front of you when you arrive.I rarely see a "line" at a gas station. You'll notice there are no lines at the pump in the picture, either. If there are no pumps open, usually you just either pick one car that looks like it's about to leave and pull your car into position to slide into that spot when it does, or you circle until you see an open spot, and then you swoop in. Either way, if you know which side of your car the gas flap is on...
It's always fun seeing some dimwit who pulls in and realizes the pump is on the wrong side, so they pull forward and do a U-turn around to the other side of the pump. And after all that, the pump's still on the wrong side again. Moron. (Then they realize what an idiot they look like, so they get out of their car and walk into the convenience store. Hey look, everybody who saw them just do a dumb... they weren't actually getting gas after all. That's why they pulled up on the wrong side. They just wanted a spot to park their car. But not that first spot.)
And hoses should be prepared to be pulled as far as that.
If you say so. I've never had to test that, because I know which side the gas flap is on, and I pull (or back) in to the pump so that the pump's on the side closer to it.
Protip: A lot of cars have a little ◄ or ► icon somewhere on the dash by the gas level indicator. It tells which side you fill the gas tank on. If you're ever uncertain (new car? wife's car? rental?), look for it. (edit: )
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
I rarely see a "line" at a gas station.
These are most common at Costco or Sam's Club gas stations IME.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
These are most common at Costco or Sam's Club gas stations IME.
And at those gas stations because of the congestion IME their hoses are extra-long and they have attendants to tell you to "fucking pull in behind someone, the hoses will reach to the other side and you're blocking the road!".
They don't usually say "fucking", but they always appear close.
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most cars have the tank positioned on the side opposite to the driver.
@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most (all?) of the cars I've owned have been on the same side. Except for the one that was behind the rear license plate.
Anecdote time: My wife and I both drive the same make of vehicle, and they fill on opposite sides.
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@djls45 Ah Wood-gas conversions. The best cars to drive when oil is unavailable due to a crippling worldwide crisis.
... or you live in North Korea.
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@anotherusername The lines here are always at the diesel pumps because people are complete self-centered morons with no self-awareness. The gas station has like 324238457455948 pumps total, but only two of them have diesel handles. And people completely ignore the totally-open 324238457455946 gasoline-only pumps and fly straight for the dual gas/diesel ones, only to buy gasoline and not diesel. They park there, go inside, talk to the cashier, take a 45-minute dump, buy lotto tickets, make a few phone calls, etc. while a line of F250's forms up behind their vacant car while thinking about dragging them out of the way with a tow chain.
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@djls45 I love how everybody's whooshing on that joke.
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@anotherusername said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
a "line" at a gas station
Two locations I spotted 'lines' frequently:
- during the summer driving south (or back) through France. Highway gas stations can be utterly packed.
- at gas stations around the border between countries (or semi-countries) where prices (mostly because of taxes) make for different fuel prices. Luxembourg border features extra big gas stations but they still have a line. Or Andorra, French and Spanish people only go there to fill their tank and buy tobacco and liquor. To fit in I did too ... and I don't even smoke.
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@onyx said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
Most cars have the tank positioned on the side opposite to the driver.
Unfortunately, this is not consistent, even when you'd expect it to be.
When I went home to visit the family for Thanksgiving this year, I picked up a rental car, of the same make and model as I normally drive, but a few years newer. When I went to fill it up on gas before taking it back, I was a bit shocked to find the gas tank door on the opposite side as my car has!
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@dcon said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@zecc said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
My best guess at what those numbers might be is average temperatures
I have a vague idea of what that is, even if "The uploader has not made this video available in your country. "
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@djls45 I love how everybody's whooshing on that joke.
I'm whooshing on the numbers at the bottom.
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@boomzilla said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
The green nozzles dispense diesel
Over here petrol nozzles are (usually) green, diesel ones are black.
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@blakeyrat said in The Official Funny Stuff Thread™:
@djls45 I love how everybody's whooshing on that joke.
I love how I'm supposed to immediately recognize a made-up sequence of numbers, just because some person used it in a song that was popular before I was even born.
Now, if it was something like this, on the other hand...
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@anotherusername Hey! I have the same combination on my luggage!