The Official Status Thread
-
Status:bolded text Just back from a lecture. I realised that I have to update some of my examples:
Ok, so you're making a phone call. You lift the receiver and the system is transferred from the idle state to an active state, and starts to play a dial tone.
Uhm. You're at your grandmother's house and need to use her bakelite phone to make a phone call.Also status (could've put this into the minor rants thread, but nevermind): I strongly dislike teachers who do not clean the whiteboard after they are done. Got there today and they were all full of shite. Since I could make do without the whiteboards today, I left them as they were and just wrote over them "I am an arrogant fucker who can't be bothered to clean the whiteboard for the next
pleblecturer who has to use the room!".
-
@Mikael_Svahnberg One of my lecturers once used a permanent marker that had been left by the whiteboard. He'd filled the whole board and gone back to wipe off the first section before he noticed, and the rest of the notes were in increasingly small text in whatever spaces he could find.
In his defence, it was the first lecture we'd had on whteboards and the lecturers were all more used to blackboards. Also, dry wipe markers and permanent markers do tend to look remarkably similar
-
Status: Don't feel like working. I'm kinda poking around stuff but... ugh, I just can't be bothered.
-
Status: I want to find the developer responsible for using user agent sniffing to hide a booking form on mobile devices and slowly remove his intestines.
-
@RaceProUK said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: I want to find the developer responsible for using user agent sniffing to hide a booking form on mobile devices and slowly remove his intestines.
They should've used viewport size in px instead?
-
STATUS: picking up my cpu from the service shop.
Angry lay people in front of me trying to explain the problem to the lay person behind the counter. IT people hidden away from public. Lawsuits and accusations of "illegal os" are thrown around.
gallore.
-
@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:
Lawsuits and accusations of "illegal os" are thrown around.
Well, those do have about 90% chance of being correct 'round these parts. And I mean "pirated" of course, not "illegal".
-
Cat vomits on the floor. Other cat runs to eat it. So disgusting yet so convenient.
-
Googling for
"Exited full-screen because full-screen element was removed from document."
. Fifth result is a Bing Translate link to translate it to Welsh.Status:
-
@RaceProUK Shit, has @translator escaped into the wild? Shitty skynet is coming
-
@Onyx said in The Official Status Thread:
Well, those do have about 90% chance of being correct 'round these parts. And I mean "pirated" of course, not "illegal".
As soon as customers started mentioning lawsuits, the service lady started asking about "illegal OS". Apparently (according to the customers), this was never brought up before.
Hilarious.
I grabbed my CPU and bolted. Won't be doing business with them again.
-
@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:
Apparently (according to the customers), this was never brought up before.
On the flipside, I heard of people getting fined for using LibreOffice instead of MS Office and/or being hassled about not having Windows licence stickers on Linux machines.
I'd put it under "urban myth" column myself, but seeing how confused people get about licensing and knowing how corrupt the government institutions are, I can actually believe it...
-
STATUS:
I'm egging myself on to order a $650 ergohuman work chair.
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
-
-
@Onyx said in The Official Status Thread:
I'd put it under "urban myth" column myself, but seeing how confused people get about licensing and knowing how corrupt the government institutions are, I can actually believe it...
What do you mean you're not running windows? Of course you're running windows. Everyone runs windows. You just hid it because your buddy tipped you off I was nearby. Now show me that license.
-
@cartman82 Don't do it, you can buy a nice graphics card for that!
-
@Onyx said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Don't feel like working. I'm kinda poking around stuff but... ugh, I just can't be bothered.
Poking around stuff == reading WTDWTF
-
@PleegWat "Are you saying that this linux can run on a computer without windows underneath it, at all?"
-
@anonymous234 Yes, but only on Linux hardware
-
@PleegWat Of course I use windows. I mean, I love windows.
How else am I supposed to get fresh air and daylight into my house ?
-
@RaceProUK said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: I want to find the developer responsible for using user agent sniffing to hide a booking form on mobile devices and slowly remove his intestines.
I thought ponies were a bit less vengeful
-
Status: I love it when users report bugs that have already been fixed but not deployed yet because nobody is in the office. That's like the least amount of work per bug report possible. "CLOSED ALREADYFIXED"
-
@cartman82 Used office furniture. Just buy some dude, save yourself $400!
-
@JazzyJosh Not if it physically hurts to use it. It's never worth injuring yourself just to save a few hundred bucks.
-
@dkf Agreed. I bought a used Steelcase Leap for like $200 and it's worked fine for me, no problem at all.
Moral of the story: Don't buy used furniture sight-unseen I guess?
-
@JazzyJosh said in The Official Status Thread:
@cartman82 Just buy some dude, save yourself $400!
Male prostitutes make less than female ones! WAGE GAP!
@Onyx said in The Official Status Thread:
"illegal".
Windows has performed an illegal operation...
-
Status: I discovered something that will make drunken @Lucas have an aneurysm.
https://github.com/search?l=CSS&q=!important&type=Code&utf8=✓
-
@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
but not deployed yet because nobody is in the office
I thought we had convinced you to deploy less frequently. Do you work on Inedo's office?
-
@fbmac said in The Official Status Thread:
I thought we had convinced you to deploy less frequently.
Front page comments and unpublished articles causing 500s is kind of urgent. And also non-NodeBB-related.
@fbmac said in The Official Status Thread:
Do you work on Inedo's office?
Sure, I'll just walk over there now:
-
Status: reading the user documentation for a new toy I bought (a sandisk connect usb stick). That's an ...unfortunate... username they use:
-
@fbmac said in The Official Status Thread:
I thought ponies were a bit less vengeful
@fbmac clearly hasn't read a lot of fiction...
Status: Why are you asking me these questions, when you're the one who provided me this in the first place?
Excerpt from the "mapping document"
-
Status: Marveling at offshoring English:
"Cause - It seems related then network traffic. Kindly check whether there is data package dropping or not."
sigh
-
@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The Official Status Thread:
"I am an arrogant fucker who can't be bothered to clean the whiteboard for the next pleb lecturer who has to use the room!".
And now the next lecturer thinks you are the jerk. Nice job!
-
@FrostCat said in The Official Status Thread:
@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The Official Status Thread:
"I am an arrogant fucker who can't be bothered to clean the whiteboard for the next pleb lecturer who has to use the room!".
And now the next lecturer thinks you are the jerk. Nice job!
It's a win-win, but I am betting on that they know me well enough to know that I don't dabble in spatial planning.
-
@FrostCat said in The Official Status Thread:
In any event it's not an application issue so I'm not inclined to give them tech support--not that I could on this anyway. I couldn't make the database work if they had a bad disk, either, and it's not my job to.
I opened a support ticket with the database vendor for him. They basically said "you have to get support from the backup software for this, but it's not likely to work unless you [do what i already told the client]."
-
Status: FML.
LEFT( SUBSTRING( @textval , PATINDEX('%[^0 ]%', @textval) ,30) ,PATINDEX( '%[^0-9]%' , SUBSTRING( SUBSTRING( @textval , PATINDEX( '%[^0 ]%' , @textval) , 30) , PATINDEX( '%[0-9]%' , SUBSTRING( @textval , PATINDEX( '%[^0 ]%' , @textval) , 30)) , 30) + 'X')+PATINDEX( '%[0-9]%' , SUBSTRING( @textval , PATINDEX( '%[^0 ]%' , @textval) , 30)) -2)
Guess what this thing I just wrote does?
Short version
Takes a string, cuts off any zeros at the start, looks for the first set of numbers (keeping any characters until then), finds where the letters start after that, and cuts off the end from there.This because the shoddy system we're using left-pads everything with zeros (despite not being a totally-numeric field), and as an added bonus takes care of duplication by adding arbitrary letters at the end!
So, a "number" originally formatted as
A113
could easily be represented in the system as:000A113
000A113A
000A113C1
A113BOJANGLES
Just in case they start right-justifying the field with spaces, I defensively coded that in as well...
-
Status: IT security just put rules that makes impossible for me to work again. Filling tickets and slacking for the day. Deadlines not changed, but I never take them seriously here anyway.
-
@Mikael_Svahnberg said in The Official Status Thread:
Status:bolded text Just back from a lecture. I realised that I have to update some of my examples:
Ok, so you're making a phone call. You lift the receiver and the system is transferred from the idle state to an active state, and starts to play a dial tone.Uhm. You're at your grandmother's house and need to use her bakelite phone to make a phone call.
Welcome to the club!
-
@ben_lubar said in The Official Status Thread:
Sure, I'll just walk over there now:
139 hours? That's way faster than uploading the patch through Milwaukee PC!
Also, you might save some time if you swim. Just put the USB key in a waterproof baggie.
-
@Lorne-Kates I'm not sure if my cheap Samsung dhromebook would survive a walk that long, but it definitely wouldn't survive a swim.
-
@ben_lubar Google refuse to give me walking directions to Inedo
-
STATUS:
WTF is this? It's not enough MS is forcing their stupid updates down my throat, they make me an accomplice too!?
-
So we have this app. And parts of it can, sometimes, be slow. So we decided to add some spinners to deal with that so that it won't make people think its crashed. Great! And I didn't even have to do that!
...Except that in one part of the app, where we have a lot of data, somehow the change broke a bunch of things to the point where you cant use that screen. When I remove the threading stuff, it works. So I have to figure out how to make it thread itself properly.
-
@cartman82 said in The Official Status Thread:
they make me an accomplice too!?
Just turn it off, dude.
At least if you have a fairly big org and you have it set to "PCs on my local network" you can save having everyone in the office download it.
-
Status: a client just sent me an email containing a screenshot of a word document with a screenshot of our application in it. This, I guess, is the new wooden table.
-
Yeah, that Star Wars film? HUGE failure.
-
@blakeyrat And like Riftwar, which has probably 20 protagonists or something, most of whom die after a trilogy or two.
-
@Magus Guild Wars 2 has like 50 protagonists and occasionally several of them will accompany the player through a story mission.
-
@Magus Well, that has the advantage of being set over a long period of time, and being composed of sub-series, each of which largely sticks with a smaller group of protagonists.
Status: Fucking wifi. Y U NOT WERK RITE?
-
@dkf said in The Official Status Thread:
Status: Fucking wifi.
Found the problem... You're doing it wrong.